Feels Like Home
by Mrs Criss 2012
Summary: The sequel to I Won't Let You Down. Blaine and Kurt are together in New York at last but as their love deepens they must also navigate the obstacles that life throws their way, including Blaine's relationship with his mom.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello all and welcome back! Here is the sequel to I Won't Let You Down. As usual, I will update every Weds, Fri and Sun (UK time). It's a slow moving story and I make no apologies for that. My aim was to explore how their relationship changes, deepens and strengthens over time and how they work through the obstacles that life throws at them. There is angst but I think it's bearable, and trust me, I never read anything too angsty! I really hope that the overwhelming message from this story will be just how much Kurt and Blaine love each other, and I hope you enjoy it. _

_Becky_

* * *

><p>Blaine Anderson picks up his bag and books, gives a nod and a smile to Professor Scarbo and leaves the classroom. Stepping outside, the first thing he does is find his phone, texting Kurt to let him know he loves him, and then he calls Burt.<p>

"I miss your face," he says, when Burt is located in the garage and finds his way to the phone.

"Why? It's ugly, I'd have thought you'd be appreciating the break."

"I want to come home."

"Blaine," Burt sighs exasperatedly. "We go through this every day. It's only been three weeks. When you've done another couple of weeks I'll look into flying up for a weekend."

"That's too long."

"Blaine." Burt closes the door to his office and sits down in his chair, ready to go through their now daily routine. "Did you enjoy your classes today?"

"Yes."

"Is Kurt treating you well?"

"Yes."

"Is your roommate still being nice?"

"Yes."

"So you like it there?"

"Yes."

"Right. So..."

"So, I just miss you. You're my dad. I'm allowed to miss you."

"You are, yes," Burt agrees, "and I miss you too, but you have to stop asking to come home. Give it a chance. You've already admitted you enjoy it, now get out there and spend some time with friends. Friends other than Kurt."

The truth is though, Blaine hasn't made friends at college like he thought he would. After hanging up with Burt, he takes a long and lonely walk through Central Park, looking at all the families, couples and groups of tourists and wondering where he fits in it all.

His roommate is nice; a tall Texan by the name of Brandon, who has spiky brown hair which he spends hours on, and incredibly white teeth. He's not gay, but has no problem with Blaine at all, and he's been friendly to Kurt in the two times they've met briefly. He's a chemistry major, meaning they have geekiness in common according to Kurt, but Brandon is a much more sociable being and though he often invites Blaine out with him, he always politely refuses and opts to either go to Kurt's, or sit alone in his room.

He knows Burt is right, he needs to spend time doing something other than waiting for Kurt to finish work, or calling his dad, but scrolling through his phone, he realizes he has no number he can call, no one he can ask out for coffee, no friend to go shopping with...except maybe one.

"Momma's here, baby," Santana coos as soon as she answers the phone, figuring that Blaine can't get mad when he's so far away.

"Please don't," he whispers, glancing around the park in case anyone has miraculously heard. "Where are you?"

"At home, why? Do you need me to let you in?"

"No, I um...actually, I wondered if you wanted to meet me."

"You? Why?"

"No. No, okay," Blaine says, his face on fire with embarrassment. "Not to worry. It was just..."

"Blaine, shut up, I'd love to meet you! Where are you?"

"In Central Park."

"Meet me at the fountain in twenty minutes."

* * *

><p>Santana is, quite literally, overjoyed, and it occurs to Blaine that maybe she is just as lonely as he is. They walk back through the park to the coffee house that he often frequents with Kurt, and he listens to Santana as she tells him how much she hates working shifts at the diner.<p>

"I mean, it's close, so that's great, and it's better than the coffee house in Brooklyn," she rambles, her arm linked through his. "But I'm thirty, Blaine. When am I gonna get a job that I actually enjoy?"

"What did you study in college?"

"Nothing," she shrugs. "I didn't go. I wanted to study dance but I had no way of paying for it, so that window was closed to me."

"You should look at like...um...community college," he says brightly. "You could find a course that fits around your shifts I'm sure."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," she sighs, as they grab their drinks and find seats.

"I don't mind helping you," Blaine offers shyly. "If you wanted me to."

Santana looks at him, her eyes narrowing. "Is this so you can fuck loudly in the apartment?"

"No!" he cries, choking on his coffee. "No that's not...no."

"Why would you want to help me?"

"Um, well, I like you," he says bravely. "And I like it when you play with my hair a little bit."

"Can I be your momma?"

"No you cannot."

"Sigh, so unfair," she says dramatically, then reaches out and plays with his hair without even asking, happy when he lets her. "I'd love it if you'd help me," she says quietly, and with that, the conversation moves on.

* * *

><p>"Can I tell you something?" Blaine asks as he and Santana head towards the subway.<p>

"Sure you can."

"I like it here," he starts, though he hardly sounds certain. "And I'd never tell Kurt this, because I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, but sometimes I feel like I needed to stay at home a bit longer, you know? I feel like I spent so long looking for that comfort and stability, and then I found it and it was too short lived. I love being near Kurt, I love seeing him nearly every day but...but I just want to be home."

"Kurt's working from home today," is all Santana replies. "Let me come to your dorm."

Brandon's eyes nearly pop out of his head when Blaine returns with Santana in tow, and though he tries to subtly shake his head at Brandon, telling him not to stare, it is pointless and he almost drools.

"I know," Santana says as a greeting, "but I'm a lesbian."

"Damn it!" Brandon cries, though he does laugh and clap Blaine on the shoulder as he passes. "I thought you had just delivered the best gift ever."

"No she's uh...she's...Santana," he finishes lamely, not sure whether to refer to her as Kurt's roommate or what, but she decides for him.

"Blaine and I are friends," she tells Brandon. "I live with Kurt, so that's how we know each other. Blaine is my baby."

"Oh my god," Blaine moans, trying to hide in the wall, but Brandon just laughs again.

"Cool. Well I'm gonna head out for a while, but I'll be back later if you want to grab dinner together, Blaine? Or are you seeing Kurt?"

"No, not tonight but I..." he stops at the feel of Santana's very sharp nails digging into his wrist, and he blinks before smiling. "Yes. Thank you, Brandon."

"There, you see?" Santana asks, as Brandon closes the door. "That wasn't so hard. He's adorable and he looked elated when you accepted the invitation."

"Do you think he asked because he felt like he had to?"

"No," Santana snaps, hitting him across the back of the head before she settles uninvited on his bed. "He asked because he likes you, you idiot. Why the huge dip in confidence, Blaine? I don't get it. I mean, I don't know you well, but even I could see you were improving."

"It's too big here," he says fearfully. "It's too noisy for me to sleep at night, it's too busy for me to navigate anywhere and it's too...much. I told you, I needed longer at home. Don't tell Kurt though."

"Kurt knows exactly how you feel," Santana remarks, watching as he moves around the already tidy room, straightening the curtains, lining up the pens on his desk, and just generally trying to avoid the conversation, until she pulls him down next to her. "The fact is this, Blaine. You say you needed more time at home, but you'd never leave, would you? There would never come a time where you would voluntarily say to Burt that you were ready to leave him behind, because you like to feel comforted and secure. That's okay, that's great, but you're looking at Lima as one chapter of your life that is closed, and New York as another chapter, when actually, you need to look at the whole story here. Tell me, where do you want to be when you're thirty? What would you want in your life by then?"

"I'd like to be married to Kurt," he says, biting his lip with a smile. "I'd like to be a NASA engineer, and I'd like for Kurt to be a successful writer. I'd like for us to have a nice house and to be making plans to adopt a baby, or have one ourselves, whichever we decide, but in my head I think I'd like to be a dad when I hit thirty."

"So now imagine that your life is this ongoing story. You need to do college to become a space whatsit engineer, and you can't get a house with Kurt if you're still living in Burt's basement. That doesn't mean you have to leave all that behind, it just means that you have to progress in life."

"But I just don't like New York very much."

"You do," Santana says, rubbing a soothing hand over his back. "Think back to when you first came to visit. I remember Kurt telling me that you bounced through the goddamn park you were so happy. You also sleep perfectly well to my knowledge, when you're at our apartment. Now that's either the insanely energetic sex that wears you out, or the fact that in Kurt's arms you manage to switch your brain off and relax, because he gives you the comfort and security you crave, but either way, I think the reason you can't sleep right now is because you lie awake overthinking things. Since you moved here, all you've done is either lounge around at our place, go to class, or sit alone in here."

"I know, but..."

"Remember how Kurt fell out of love with it? When you visited, it reignited something inside of him. He was seeing the city through your eyes. Blaine, New York is amazing. It's not for everyone, and to be honest, I don't think you'll settle down here when you're boring and married, but I do think that for now, this place can be a happy home for you and Kurt. If I didn't think that, then I'd be sending you home, but you can't be Burt's lapdog forever. Miss him, by all means, and it's great that you're so close to him, but make sure you live a little too. Take Kurt out on a date, go on a long walk with that roommate of yours, take me out whenever you want," she adds with a grin. "We make a hot couple," she realizes, preening somewhat in the mirror. "Actually, take me out on dates all the time, not Kurt."

"You wish," Blaine jokes, and she looks at him, surprised, before her face breaks into a wide grin.

"You are..." she starts, putting her arms around his neck. "Adorable. And you and I are gonna be friends, whether you like it or not."

"Actually, I do want that," he says, returning to shy mode once more. "I've enjoyed hanging out with you today."

"Me too," she says with a nod. She plays with his hair briefly as she studies him. He looks brighter, more certain, and she would like to think that she's cheered him up, just as he had boosted her, with his encouraging talk about college. "Do you really think I could do it?"

"College?"

"Yeah."

Blaine takes her hand in his, holding her in a steady gaze, "Santana, I know you can."

* * *

><p>Kurt squeaks excitedly when the apartment intercom buzzes. He knows it will be Blaine, but rather than just buzz him right in, he still picks it up and says hello, just so he can hear his voice.<p>

There's no denying it, he thinks to himself as he checks his hair in the mirror, Kurt really is hopelessly and wholeheartedly in love with Blaine, and the feeling he has right now, when he hears the quiet knock on the door, is one that he doesn't think he will ever tire of.

"Hey beautiful," he says as he opens the door, and Blaine looks equally as in love and happy to see him, holding out a bunch of sunflowers and kissing Kurt's cheek warmly.

"Hello tiger."

"More flowers?"

"Well..." Blaine follows him inside, taking off his shoes and hanging his jacket neatly. "You know, it's gray outside today, and you've been working, so...I thought they'd make you smile."

"They do," Kurt confirms, filling a vase with water. "But you make me smile more."

"That's good."

Blaine settles at the table to watch him, completely enraptured with the way he moves around the kitchen, humming happily to himself as he arranges the flowers and sets them in the middle of the table.

"I missed you these last few days," Kurt remarks offhandedly, while still watching Blaine carefully for his reaction.

"Two days, Kurt," Blaine laughs. "I just thought...maybe I was being a little clingy. Not just to you, but dad as well."

"Oh?"

"I met with Santana the other day."

"Really? She didn't say. But then I haven't seen her, she's been working."

"I was feeling a little down."

"Yeah," Kurt says, coming over to sit next to him. "I noticed."

"I like Santana, she's easy to talk to, and I think it needed to be someone other than you or dad. Is that okay?"

"Of course."

"She made me realize that I need to make the most of this. Us being here together, me being at college...the whole scenario. I won't ever have this time in my life again and I need to get out there, explore the city, make friends and...well, though I might need a shove in the right direction every now and then, I think it will make me a better boyfriend to you if I have my own life too, you know?"

"I do," Kurt says with a smile, unable to resist reaching out to play with his hair. "And I wouldn't say you've been too clingy, just more introverted than usual. I did miss you though. Not in a bad way, more in a now I'm incredibly excited to see you again way."

Blaine laughs and leans across, kissing Kurt gently. "I love you so much," he whispers. "I missed you too, and now I'm stupidly excited at the prospect of an entire evening in your company."

"So, what do you want to do? Get take out? Cook? Watch a movie?"

"None of that. I'm taking you out."

"You are?" Kurt asks in surprise. "We never go out. Unless it's for coffee or for me to walk you to class."

"Exactly, and we make all this noise about dating each other, but we never go out on any dates...so get changed, my gorgeous boyfriend, cause I want to show you off."

There is no mistaking Kurt's pleasure at Blaine's words. He practically preens as he saunters to the bedroom, trying to play it cool. "So uh...where we going?" he calls over his shoulder, as he pulls open his closet doors.

"To see the Mets."

Kurt reappears in the doorway, his hair mussed from where he's pulled his sweater off in a hurry. "Excuse me?"

"To see the Mets," Blaine says calmly.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not?" Blaine asks, his smile faltering somewhat. "Don't you want to?"

Kurt wants to say no. He wants to yell at Blaine and demand to know exactly what he was thinking when he decided that would be a good date, but he also can't bear the thought of hurting his feelings, so he swallows and gives a tight smile. "No, no, of course I do, it's just... You're not really dressed for the Mets," he points out, and he is right.

Blaine is dressed as he usually is, in a polo with a bow tie, but he's also wearing a sports jacket with dress pants and shoes. He looks down at his outfit, feeling his internal panic starting to build. "Um, well, I didn't know what to wear, really."

"A baseball cap, for a start," Kurt laughs, tossing him one. "There."

"But..." Blaine shrugs, putting it on the table. "I get the feeling you don't want to go."

"No, it's not that, I'm just surprised, that's all," Kurt calls, returning to his room. "I didn't know you liked baseball."

"I don't like baseball."

"So why are we going then?"

"To look at the paintings."

Kurt appears again, in a pair of tight tan colored pants and nothing else. "Excuse me?"

"I thought...well, I just thought..."

"Blaine, please tell me exactly where we're going."

"To see the Mets," Blaine repeats, wondering why on earth Kurt seems so confused. "The Metropolitan Museum of Art."

"Met, Blaine," Kurt sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Met, singular. Mets, plural, means the New York baseball team."

"Oh. Oh! I didn't know that."

"No kidding," Kurt mumbles, shaking his head in disbelief, trying to hide his smile.

"Did I make you mad?"

"No, Blaine," Kurt says, walking over to him and grinning widely. He climbs into his lap, straddling his legs, and his hands cup the back of his neck as he gazes down at him. "You made me fall more in love with you than ever. My god, you're adorable," he realizes, as he takes a moment to really study him. Blaine is breathtakingly beautiful, and Kurt grazes their lips together, whimpering shamelessly when Blaine's hands settle on his bare waist. "I love you," he whispers, closing his eyes and losing himself to the moment. "Blaine...I am so crazy for you I could just...I could just cry with how much I feel for you."

"Don't cry, that would totally ruin the date," Blaine jokes, though when Kurt opens his eyes, he can see Blaine's own are shimmering. "Just kiss me instead."

Kurt does as he's told, loving the angle of Blaine's head tilted up to reach. He cups Blaine's jaw gently, letting their lips tease over each other before he gives in and opens his mouth wider. There's no doubt about it, the first touch of Blaine's tongue always sets the heat of desire flaring inside of him, mainly because he knows exactly what he can do with it, and he moans deep in his throat, his other hand coming up to frame his face as Blaine's hands splay firmly over his naked back, keeping him close.

"I'm home," Santana declares, stomping inside and slamming the door shut. "And oh my god there's two gays fornicating in the kitchen. Don't mind me, fellas," she says, holding her hands high above her head and walking to her room. "Wouldn't want to interrupt sexy time."

"Damn," Kurt mutters, his forehead pressed to Blaine's. "Don't worry about it," he calls over Blaine's shoulder, to her now already closed bedroom door. "We're going out anyway." He turns back to Blaine with a small, rueful smile. "Wait right there. I'll get dressed."

"If Santana hadn't walked in," Blaine remarks as they walk to the subway, their clasped hands swinging between them, "We could be totally naked right now."

"I'm gonna need you to shut up," Kurt laughs. "Because we're in public, and I don't want to get arrested."

"It occurs to me that this is why we don't go out very much."

"No, Blaine, we don't go out very much because you always look petrified at the very thought," Kurt teases. "I like this though. I like a man just turning up and declaring that he's taking me out. It's very...manly," he finishes lamely. "Yeah. Willful. I like willful."

"You like to _be_ willful," Blaine corrects. "Anyway, _a_ man?"

"One man in particular, maybe," Kurt says flirtatiously, and he's taken happily off guard when Blaine stops walking and pulls him close, kissing him firmly on the mouth right outside the subway station.

"Your man."

* * *

><p>The Met is wonderful, and Blaine gets a good taste of everything that this amazing city can offer him. They're still there at closing, having to be reminded twice by the security guard that they need to leave, and laughing, they head out into the night.<p>

"That was just...wow," Blaine says, his head still swimming with all he's seen.

"A pretty amazing date," Kurt agrees, but Blaine smiles and takes his hand.

"It's not over yet."

"Oh?"

"Come on, I'm taking you to dinner."

Dinner turns out to be a small yet completely perfect Lobster restaurant a couple of blocks away, which is bright, cheerful and noisy inside, filled with families and couples all enjoying excellent food.

"Maybe I should have picked somewhere more romantic?" Blaine panics, as they are shown to a table for two.

"Are you kidding? This is perfect," Kurt grins, his whole face alight with joy. "Besides, lobster is an aphrodisiac, isn't it?"

"Yeah..." Blaine breaks off, smiling and shaking his head, when he takes in the sight of Kurt looking so stunningly happy and relaxed. "But I don't think I'm really gonna need any help with that."

"Oh, so you're thinking you'll get lucky?" Kurt asks, raising his eyebrows as he pretends to scan the menu, and Blaine grins, picking up his menu and saying nothing at all.

* * *

><p>"Tonight was like, really great," Kurt says, as they arrive at his building. "Really, really great."<p>

"So I can take you out again?"

He turns in the doorway, fisting Blaine's jacket and drawing him near. "Anytime you like, my puppy dog."

The endearing sentiment seems oddly jarring with the dark, seductive tone of Kurt's voice, but Blaine doesn't really stop to think about it, he just knows that he needs to kiss Kurt right here and now, so he does. Kurt is taken off guard, and he stumbles slightly against the doorframe, but he soon gathers himself enough to kiss back eagerly, his hands running into Blaine's hair.

"Uh...excuse me," a man's voice says, and Blaine and Kurt jump apart. "Can I just...?" Blaine has to press himself against Kurt to let the man through the doorway, and he sidesteps them gingerly until he's out on the street. "Thanks. Brian, by the way," he adds with a wave. "Apartment three C."

"Uh...Kurt," he stammers, feeling incredibly awkward. "Two D. Um...and this is Blaine, my boyfriend."

"Well, nice to meet you both," Brian says, and he goes merrily on his way, while Blaine lets his head drop onto Kurt's shoulder in despair.

"One way to meet the neighbors," Kurt remarks, and then laughing, he takes Blaine's hand and leads him up the stairs.

"I should uh...I should go," Blaine says quietly, when they reach Kurt's door.

"Really?"

"Well, I have class at nine, and you have work, so..."

"I know but..."

"And we said three nights together a week, right? So I stayed Monday, today's Thursday and then if I stay Friday and Saturday..."

"You're such a stickler for rules, Blaine," Kurt laughs. "But yes, I do need to be in the office early. Can you just come see something before you go though? I was going to show you earlier, but we had the whole Met Mets thing and...well, anyway, will you just come in quickly?"

"Sure."

The apartment is quiet, with Santana either out or already in bed. Kurt leads Blaine directly into his bedroom and over to the large dresser. "Open it," he says, gesturing to the second drawer.

Blaine does as he's told, frowning when he looks inside. "It's empty."

"I know." Kurt is grinding broadly, two pink spots high on his cheeks. "It's uh...well, I figured you might like to put some stuff in it. You know, like, clothes and things. Pajamas, underwear...so like, when you stay..."

"You're giving me a drawer?" Blaine asks, and all Kurt can do is grin by way of a response. "You're giving me a drawer," Blaine says again, and with a grin to match, he grabs Kurt around the waist and throws him onto the bed. "Thank you," he whispers, before the heavy make out session they've been trying to indulge in since Blaine first arrived, finally happens.

"Don't you dare go home now," Kurt gasps when Blaine scrapes his teeth over the soft flesh of his neck. He growls when Blaine moves and he feels how hard he is against him, and he's secretly thrilled that just making out like this gets them going so quickly.

"Not a chance," Blaine murmurs, moving to kiss along the collar of Kurt's shirt, before he hastily unbuttons it. "Damn you Kurt, it should be illegal for you to be this beautiful."

He smiles at the feel of Kurt's soft laughter and kisses a trail down the center of his chest to his stomach. He thinks about going further, but then decides he needs more kisses, and so after pulling his polo over his head, he lies down on his side and pulls Kurt close. "Love you," he whispers, the moment slowing as they both catch their breath and gaze at one another.

"I love you too," Kurt smiles, reaching out to gently caress his cheek.

"I'm gonna like...kiss you now. A lot," Blaine informs him, biting his lip at the sparkle in Kurt's eyes. "Cause otherwise there's a very real danger I'll propose marriage instead."

"Hmm." Kurt leans close, offering a long, teasing kiss which Blaine happily accepts. "That would be a danger?"

"It would," Blaine confirms, cupping his hand under Kurt's ear and letting his breath tickle there. "Because when I do propose, I want it to be perfect, and not when we're both lying here hard and desperate."

He rolls his weight on top Kurt to kiss him deeply, but he gives up eventually and presses their foreheads together. "Seriously?" he sighs. "It's usually me."

"I know," Kurt says, his grin completely unmoving. "But I just...yeah. I have to smile, I'm sorry."

"I can't kiss teeth."

"So suck dick instead," Kurt offers, and Blaine laughs helplessly, rolling onto his side and reaching for the button on Kurt's pants.

"If you insist."

The time Kurt and Blaine take to pleasure one another, to really touch, savor and explore each other's bodies, is only heightened by the closeness they share, as Kurt holds Blaine tight in his lap and moves slowly inside of him. No words are needed, because the heated eye contact between the pair says it all. They share soft smiles and gentle kisses, until it becomes too much to bear and Kurt has to let go, bringing Blaine with him.

After, when they're clean and lying under the covers of Kurt's bed, Blaine kisses his chest gently. "Will you wake me up at seven?"

"With breakfast," Kurt says, his voice heavy with sleep. "And I'll walk you to class."

"Mmm," Blaine murmurs happily, taking ahold of Kurt's hand that rests loosely on his stomach. "Love you, Kurt."

"You too, Blaine. Always."


	2. Chapter 2

Slowly but surely, Blaine blossoms in the city. He and Kurt fall into a welcome routine of two dates a week, and cozy nights in the apartment together when Santana works evening shifts. Blaine tries hard to stick to the 'three sleepovers a week' rule that they self-imposed, but occasionally Kurt can lure him into breaking that, usually by seductively climbing into his lap just as he announces he needs to go home.

He begins to make friends, too. Not just Santana, whom he continues to meet once a week for coffee, as well as seeing her in the apartment, but Brandon too, as well as a whole load of others in his mechanical engineering program. He starts by quietly telling a guy next to him about the Buick he and Burt restored, showing him a few pictures on his phone, and gradually this escalates into more people wanting to hear about it, and soon Blaine realizes that he is genuinely liked by quite a lot of people.

It is not without it's fair share of problems though. He gets asked out on dates by two girls, which Kurt thinks is hilarious, and one guy, which Kurt does not. This leads to their first major blow out in New York, when Blaine says he wishes he hadn't told Kurt after all, which only serves to rile him up even more, and they end up not speaking for two days. Still, when Kurt arrives at Blaine's dorm with a batch of freshly baked cookies as an apology, it coincides with Blaine leaving to go to Kurt with flowers, and with Brandon absent, both apologetic gifts are abandoned in favor of an afternoon in bed.

Kurt also continues to flourish, and when Burt visits at the start of Fall, Kurt proudly shows him around the offices of Marie Claire while Blaine is in class, and takes great pleasure in showing him his credit card bills, and just how much he is managing to pay off.

"I'm stupidly proud," Burt tells him, as they walk toward campus to meet Blaine. "Of both of you, but the way you've changed your entire life around...it's incredible."

Kurt ducks his head and links his arm through his dads, not knowing what to say to such praise.

"One day, when you're a dad, you'll be able to use all this as a life lesson for your own kids, you know that?

"What? Don't do what I did?"

"More like, it gets better," Burt says with a smile. "We all make mistakes. I've made some pretty stupid ones in my time too, you know."

"Blaine doesn't."

"Yeah, well...Blaine is weird," Burt says with a shrug, and they laugh and walk on.

Blaine looks up as the clock slowly but surely edges it's way to three o'clock and the second his class is dismissed, he runs. Tearing out of the building, he spies Burt leaning against the railings at the bottom of the steps with Kurt next to him, and he clears the last five steps with a gigantic leap. Somehow, Burt manages to catch him without getting knocked over.

"You're here!" he cries into his shoulder, before reaching out and pulling Kurt into the hug too. "He's here."

"Oof," Kurt says with a laugh. "Is he really? I hadn't noticed."

"Well isn't this just the best thing ever?" Burt asks happily. "C'mon, I'll buy coffee."

"Okay," Blaine says, unable to shift his grin and not moving from his position sandwiched between his dad and Kurt. "But I'm taking you out tonight. Both of you."

"Oh really?" Burt asks. "Where?"

"To the Mets."

"Blaine," Kurt laughs. "We've been through this. Met, singular."

"No, Kurt," Blaine says, wrapping his arms around him from behind as they walk. "Mets, plural. We're going to a baseball game."

"We're what?" Kurt cries, as Burt whoops and claps his hands.

"I scored tickets from a guy in my physics elective," Blaine says proudly. "He couldn't use them, so he sold them to me. After the whole Met, Mets debacle, I thought it'd be fun. Baseball, huh?" He walks Kurt along a little more, kissing into his neck. "Come on."

"For you two I will," Kurt grumbles, making a face when Burt ruffles his hair. "But I am extremely unhappy, Blaine Anderson. Extremely unhappy."

"You're not," Burt cackles, having heard about their Met date confusion already. "You're secretly impressed that Blaine's thought of it, and that he's actually gone and got us tickets, you just don't ever admit to being impressed by anything, that's all."

"I do!" Kurt cries. "I do tell him when he's impressed me. I thank him for...stuff," he finishes lamely, trying not to blush.

"Yeah, I'll bet you do."

"What's a guy who takes physics doing with Mets tickets anyway?" Kurt says, trying to change the subject. "How does he even know two other people? Guy must be a total nerd if that's his elective."

"I take physics as an elective!" Blaine cries defensively.

"Yeah, but you're weird," Kurt states, taking his hand in his and swinging them as they walk.

"I am not."

"You are," Kurt says, with a sideways glance at Burt. "Dad said."

"What?" Blaine turns to Burt, who holds his hands high in the air.

"I didn't...well, I did, but...it's….yeah," he says, giving up with a sigh. "You're weird. In the best possible way though, of course."

Blaine sticks his tongue out, but Burt pulls him out of Kurt's handhold and into a strong embrace. "Love you buddy. Weirdness an' all."

"Love you too, rudeness and all," Blaine says, smiling over his shoulder. "Now let's go watch some basketball."

"Baseball, Blaine!" Burt and Kurt both correct at the same time.

"That's the one."

* * *

><p>"I don't even have anything to wear to a baseball game," Kurt calls from his bedroom, to where Burt and Blaine sit on the couch in the living room. "And if I don't have anything, you certainly won't."<p>

"I have polo shirts," Blaine points out. "And like...I don't know. I might wear that hoodie?"

"Blaine, no," Kurt says exasperatedly, coming into the room. "That has paint on it because you wore it when we painted the bathroom."

"Oh. Well, I'm sure I have like, a sweater, that's not too..."

"Preppy?"

"Yeah," he says, with a touch of sweet embarrassment which Kurt finds irresistible, leaning over the couch to kiss him upside down.

"I love your style," he reassures. "Just maybe forgo the bow tie for tonight."

"Okay," Blaine grins, easily comforted by a kiss. "Oh, and I have jeans," Blaine remembers, as Kurt heads back into his bedroom and calls out:

"Which are tighter than your ass,"

"Kurt!" Blaine and Burt cry together, but Kurt is more than pleased with himself, coming back out into the living room with a grin.

"They are. Yes. Wear them."

"They're hanging up in the closet. Left hand side," Blaine calls. "Can you get them?"

"Sure."

"So what's this?" Burt asks. "You two living together or what?"

"No," Blaine says with a laugh. "We love being together, and I spend three nights a week here, but we're not ready to live together yet."

"But you've got clothes here."

"I know. But...yeah. We're not there yet. Anyway," he says, patting Burt's leg as he stands. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Of course, Burt is on Kurt the second he emerges, dressed surprisingly casual in dark green jeans and a black sweater that has a fine silver thread running through it.

"Does this say baseball to you?"

"No, Kurt, but nothing in your closet would ever in a million years say baseball to me. What it does say to me, is that you still like to try and impress Blaine, which is nice."

"Still? We've only been together nine months, and he's been in the city for just six weeks of that."

"Do you want to live with him?"

Kurt is immediately on guard, sitting upright from where he has flopped on the couch. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering. You two seem to be pretty strong."

"Oh. Well," Kurt blushes, pleased at the compliment. "It's uh...we are, yes. And eventually we want to live together."

"But if he asked you, would you?"

"Has Blaine said anything to you?"

"Answer my question first," Burt laughs.

Kurt glances at the bathroom door, but he can still hear the sound of the shower, so he turns back. "Okay, don't tell Blaine this, but yes. I'd move him in tomorrow given half the chance, but I can't."

"Santana?"

"No, her and Blaine have a really cute friendship, she would be thrilled, and her living here too wouldn't bother Blaine one bit. It's more...Blaine has found it really hard to establish himself in the city, and at college. His instinct is to cling to me, but he's gradually getting past that and making his own friends, spending time away from me, and I can see that he's really starting to love the whole college environment. I don't want to ask him to move in, and then have him feel like he has to be home all the time with me. He's having fun, and it's not my place, as a guy of almost thirty who's experienced all that already, to take that away from him."

"Kurt that is...surprisingly noble and sweet of you," Burt says. "I have to say I agree, and I'm happy you're willing to wait. He's too young right now."

"So you were just checking," Kurt says, relaxing once more. "I thought you were about to say Blaine told you he didn't want to live with me."

"No, not at all. He just said you're not ready yet."

"Who's not ready?" he asks, sitting up once more.

"Both of you, as a couple."

"Oh," Kurt says, rolling his shoulders and feigning nonchalance. "Well, yeah. He's right, of course."

* * *

><p>The baseball game is a huge amount of fun. Both Blaine and Kurt take their cue from Burt, and cheer loudly at the relevant moments, despite having no real idea what they're cheering for. It doesn't matter though, the atmosphere is incredible and they leave happy, holding hands as they head to a diner for hot dogs and milkshakes.<p>

"You're not getting laid tonight," Kurt announces to Blaine, as soon as Burt has gone to the bathroom.

"What? Why?"

"Because that chilli dog stinks," he laughs, his eyes shining. "So you have to sleep facing the wall, and that's after brushing your teeth five times."

"Fine." Blaine shrugs, and dabs at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. "I wasn't planning on it anyway."

"What?" Kurt shrieks loudly. "Why?"

"Because dad will be on the couch, that's why! No way are we...Y'know, with him just on the other side of the wall."

"Oh please," Kurt whines. "I'll gag you if you want?"

Blaine frowns, utterly confused. "Why would I want you to gag me? That's mean."

"No Blaine," Kurt chuckles. "It's hot. I could gag you and handcuff you to the bed, and then I could ride you until you were begging for release."

"Why though?" Blaine asks, still bewildered. "Is what we do not enough for you?"

"No, it's not that, I was just..."

But Kurt is prevented from discussing anything further by the return of Burt, who loudly proclaims that it must be time for dessert, and that he needs another milkshake too.

They don't get to talk again until bed, by which time there is an atmosphere of decided unease between the pair. Blaine, now smelling very strongly of toothpaste, duly rolls over and faces the wall, but he is dismayed and upset when Kurt does the same on his side, not even bothering to try and pick up the conversation from earlier.

Blaine thinks about it for awhile. In his head, given that Kurt was the one who upset him, he should also be the one to make amends, but then, he supposes, this is a relationship and surely it doesn't matter who reaches out first, just that the rift is healed.

"I know you didn't mean it like that," he says, rolling over and spooning himself around Kurt. "I'm sorry for getting touchy, it's just..." he pauses, giving Kurt's shoulder a gentle kiss. "I guess I worry I won't always be enough for you so... and I really don't get the whole gag thing at all. It's not...that's not me," he says, almost apologetically. "I don't think it will ever be me."

Kurt rolls over to face him, taking his hands and holding them tightly. "You are more than enough for me, Blaine. It's just obvious that you don't have as much faith in us as a couple as I do, and that hurts."

"What? Because I don't want you to gag me? I'm willing to try new things, Kurt, I'm just not into bondage, that's all."

"You don't trust me."

"I trust you implicitly," Blaine says, becoming agitated. "I just don't relish the thought of having something stuffed in my mouth so I can't breathe properly. It's not about trust, it's about not wanting to have a panic attack because I'm worried I'll suffocate! You know I was bullied, that kind of thing would be...I don't know, just talking about it feels like a trigger. I do trust you though, honestly."

"Then why did you tell dad we're not ready to live together?"

"What? I didn't! Well, I did, but not like that, it was out of the blue. He asked if I was living here because I have clothes here, and I said we're not ready yet, that's all it was," Blaine cries as quietly as he can, trying to keep his voice down. "Just a passing remark, an offhand comment."

"Well it hurt," Kurt snaps, and even in the dark, Blaine can tell his eyes are flashing with anger.

"So this isn't about the gag?"

"No, it's not about the gag," Kurt hisses. "It's about you not thinking we can make it."

"I never said that," Blaine tells him, trying to stay as calm as possible. "On the contrary, I have always thought we could make it, ever since prom when you told me you loved me."

"But you won't live with me."

"Okay, stop it," Blaine snaps. "Because I will get out of this bed and leave, and you can explain to dad why. Kurt...it's not that I don't want to live with you, okay? I do, I really do. I love being here with you, and I can't wait for the day that we can come home, close the door and it's just us. When we can wander around naked if we want to, and have really loud sex, but I also love this," he says, his face softening when he reaches out to caress Kurt's cheek.

"I love sitting in class knowing we have a date and wondering where you're going to take me. I love walking past a new restaurant or seeing posters for an exhibition, and thinking 'Oh, Kurt will like it there.' Kurt, believe me, it's not that I don't want to live with you, it's that I want to cherish each and every part of this relationship. I don't want to rush anything because...well, because all of this is so perfect. We're perfect. Trust me, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and I'm not about to leave you, but there's also eleven years between us. I guess this means compromise on both parts. I want to have kids with you one day, but that doesn't mean I think we should go out and get two right away, just because we know one day we want that."

Kurt blinks, and bites his lip. He tries to keep eye contact, but it's hard, so he ends up looking meekly down at the bed sheets instead. "I've been a bit hasty, haven't I?" he says sadly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Blaine says firmly, lifting his chin. "I think I'd rather that, than have you being scared of commitment. Look, Kurt, we know this is it, we know our happy ending lies in each other's arms, and one day I swear, I will give you the biggest and the best proposal, and the wedding you dream of but...let's just cherish the here and now, okay? Us being us?"

"I can do that," Kurt agrees, feeling brighter already.

"And please don't gag me."

Kurt laughs, closing the small gap between them to rest his head into the crook of Blaine's neck. "I won't. And just so you know? What we do is more than enough. I mean, it's not, because I wish I had the strength and stamina to do it all day, every day, but it's amazing."

"I love you," Blaine says with a smile, kissing into Kurt's hair. "I love how you say something, and then feel the need to ramble on for another minute unnecessarily."

"Hey!"

They both laugh, and Blaine holds Kurt just that little bit tighter, ready to settle down to sleep.

"That proposal," Kurt says after a while.

"Hmm?"

"How big are we talking?"

"Oh, huge," Blaine remarks. "Epic."

"What if I propose to you first?"

"Then I'll say no, and ask you a week later."

"Ha! Goofball."

There is silence again, but it is a silence neither feels the need to try and fill. It is happy and hope filled, and it leaves Kurt and Blaine with sweet dreams all night long.

* * *

><p>"Have you heard from your mom?"<p>

Blaine stops in his tracks, stiffening at the mention of a name he's been trying to forget. He and Burt had come out for a walk along the river while Kurt was working, and up until that point Blaine had been enjoying himself and thinking how wonderful it was, with no offense to Kurt, to spend time alone with his dad.

"It's uh...she's called a couple of times," he says tightly, and walks on at a pace so alarmingly quick that Burt has to jog to catch up with him.

"Is she okay?"

"Fine."

"Ooh, ice cream truck," Burt announces, and grabs Blaine's hand firmly, guiding him to the line.

Ice creams purchased, Burt still takes charge of Blaine, steering him to a bench overlooking the water, where he sits and puts an arm around his shoulders as they eat. He notices a few strange looks cast their way, and feels saddened that affection between a father and his grown son isn't more readily accepted, especially when Blaine finishes his cone and rests his head on Burt's shoulder.

"I wonder what people think, when they see us like this?" Burt muses aloud.

"Either that we're parent and child, and some relative has just died, which is why you're comforting me, or that we're in some weird ass relationship."

"Do either of those scenarios bother you?"

"No. Why would it?" Blaine frowns. "I like cuddles. I miss this, us. Do you remember when we used to watch TV and I'd rest my head on your knee?"

"Of course I do."

"You used to play with my hair. Santana does that now and it's nice, but it's not the same. She's not you."

"True, but you're happy though, right? I mean, you've stopped calling every day to whine."

"I didn't whine!" Blaine protests. "I just...found it hard to settle in. But yes, I'm happy now. Looking forward to Thanksgiving though."

"You coming home?"

"Yeah. I don't have class that Wednesday, so Kurt and I thought we could fly home Tuesday night, that would give us longer."

"We can watch TV."

Blaine smiles, and presses a little closer. "We can."

"So, your mom."

"Daaaaad."

"Nope, I'm not gonna drop it, Blaine. Tell me."

"There's not a lot to tell," Blaine says sadly. "After our visit, she was a little better at calling and stuff, and then it stopped. She knew the date I was starting college, but she didn't call until three weeks after, and said she had been busy. But it's like...I don't know, if you knew something like that was happening in your kids life, you'd make the effort, wouldn't you?"

"You would," Burt says heavily. "Yeah."

"Even a text message, but there was nothing. Then she called last week, and the call was going well, until I stupidly asked if she would come visit."

"And?"

"And she went all weird again. Said that it was too far away, but I checked, and it's only a little over three hours drive!"

"Why don't you offer to go there?" Burt suggests. "See what she says to that? You don't have to stay, you could do it in a day."

"No."

Burt is surprised by Blaine's definite answer, and he pulls back slightly to look down at him.

"I have all the family I need," Blaine explains. "I've tried with her and she's not forthcoming. I made all the effort last time, going to Baltimore and suffering through that dinner. I'm not going to put myself out there again, because each time I do, she hurts me. I'm happy with Kurt and you. If and when she decides to remember she has a son, then she knows where to find me."

"Well, if you're sure..."

"I am," Blaine says firmly.

"Okay. So what do you wanna do now?"

"Let's walk some more," Blaine says, tugging Burt to his feet. "There's a great little deli further down the river. I'll buy you lunch."

The heavy moment is forgotten in favor of Blaine linking his arm through Burt's as they walk happily together in the fall sunshine, though Burt can't help but feel sadness that a mother could abandon her son so easily, especially when that son is as wonderful as Blaine.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanksgiving rolls around quickly, and once Blaine and Kurt have waved Santana off to spend the week with her Aunt and Uncle out in Jersey, they make their way to the airport to fly back to Lima.

Things are fine between them, great even, until they step from the cab. Kurt suddenly seems awkward and stiff, and when Blaine reaches for his hand, which is their usual thing to do when walking, he very deliberately shifts his luggage to that side.

"You okay, tiger?" Blaine asks cheerfully, trying to ignore the warning his brain is sending.

"Don't call me that."

"Uh...Sorry?"

"Why is that a question?" Kurt mumbles angrily, and he fishes in his carry on until he finds a pair of sunglasses, putting them on even though they're heading inside.

"It's just..." But Kurt is gone, and Blaine hurries after, noticing how quickly Kurt walks, and with his head ducked down too, as if he's embarrassed to be seen with Blaine.

"Why are you bouncing?" Kurt asks with a heavy eye roll, as he removes his glasses. "It isn't that exciting."

"It is to me."

"Well don't."

"Huh?"

"Don't bounce," Kurt snaps, as he marches toward the check in desk. "It looks like I'm out with a seven year old."

"Fine."

Blaine lets out a huff, suddenly not feeling much like bouncing anyway, and he hands his ticket to the clerk who checks them both in.

"I'm going to get coffee," Kurt announces once they're in the departures lounge, and he's gone before Blaine can question him further, not even asking Blaine if he wants a drink.

Undeterred, Blaine follows him, though really he should know better when Kurt is in such a mood. He hovers, not sure whether to announce he's right behind him or not, and then his internal panic begins to build and only serves to make the situation worse.

"I'm here," Blaine announces when Kurt joins the line in Starbucks, and Kurt jumps before whirling around.

"For fucks sake, stalker," he hisses angrily, his face flaming red. "Go and sit down!"

"I'm not a stalker," Blaine says, hurt. "I just wondered if you were okay, that's all."

"I'm fine," Kurt snaps, sounding anything but. "Just go and sit down."

"But you..." Blaine starts, then trails off. "Okay."

He walks away and finds seats, but then wonders whether Kurt actually meant for him to go back to the departures lounge, so he returns to the line. "Uh...Kurt? Where should I sit?"

"What do you mean, where should you sit?" he barks, raking his hand through his hair exasperatedly. "I don't care where you sit, just go away."

"Like here, or back in the lounge? Because you weren't specific and..."

"Fuck off, Blaine," Kurt snarls through gritted teeth. "Please, for the love of all things holy, just leave me alone."

Blaine stands there, hurt beyond belief, but Kurt stares resolutely ahead, and in the end he just walks quietly away, back to the departures lounge, where he sits alone, staring at the ground.

He looks up when a coffee is shoved under his nose, and it is to see Kurt standing there with tear stained cheeks, biting his lip. "Medium drip," he says quietly. "I didn't ask, maybe you wanted pumpkin spice? That's what I have. We can trade, if you want?"

"You don't like your coffee black."

"I know, but if you want mine..."

Blaine stands, taking both coffees and setting them on the empty chair next to him. "What I want, is for you to tell me what's wrong," he says, then takes Kurt in his arms without saying anything else, holding him tight and kissing into his hair.

Kurt hugs back, which Blaine takes as a good sign, and he seems almost reluctant to let go. When Blaine guides him into a chair and sits next to him, he takes ahold of Blaine's hand and doesn't let go. "Um...you might think this is silly."

"I don't know unless you tell me," Blaine points out. "All I know is that you were fine, and then you very much weren't."

"It's uh...when we got out of the cab, um... Jeremy was there."

"What?"

"Just standing there with his son, and then they went inside. When we came in I didn't see him, but it threw me, I guess, knowing he was there. Is here, even. Could appear at any moment."

"Did he see you?"

"No."

"What about his son? Would he recognize you?"

"Oh, he'd recognize me alright." Kurt swallows, deciding he might as well admit it. "I slept with him too."

"Oh Jesus, Kurt!" Blaine cries, looking away and shaking his head. "You really were a world class moron, weren't you? How old is he?"

"Um...I don't know. Twenty one or so."

"How many kids does Jeremy have?"

"Four, but the other son is married and the other two are girls."

"Well that's something, I guess. So Jeremy and..."

"Huh?" Kurt looks up and blinks. "Oh, I don't know his name."

"Kurt! Oh my... Okay." Blaine rakes a hand through his hair, leaving it standing on end, as he tries to digest it all. "Okay. Can I just ask...you were on and off with this Jeremy guy for a long time. You never once asked the names of his kids?"

"Why would I?"

"Because..."

"Conversation wasn't really important, Blaine."

"No, I can see that."

"You're upset."

"Damn right I'm upset," Blaine snaps. "I'm disgusted that you...with both of them..."

"It wasn't at the same time."

"Fucking hell, Kurt, I would hope not!"

"Don't curse," Kurt automatically reprimands, and that's all it takes for Blaine to blow.

"Don't tell me not to curse!" Blaine cries. "First of all, what you've just told me is horrible, but I'll let it slide, because I'm assuming it all happened before you and I were a thing."

"Yes. Yes, before I'd met you. Well, after our blow job, but before..."

"Fine," Blaine says stiffly. "But all that aside, why the hell couldn't you just say, when we got out of the cab, that he was there? We could've waited, or walked off in a different direction. Why did you have to be deliberately nasty to me, and make me feel like I had done something really wrong?"

"I don't know," Kurt admits sadly. "I didn't know how to tell you."

Blaine sighs, leaning back in his chair for a moment. "The thing is, Kurt, by not telling me, you ended up hurting my feelings, and now we're left with this mess. I know you have a past, and I've said before that it doesn't matter, because I'm the one who's gonna keep you."

"Yeah, okay, I should've been honest."

"It's more than that though," Blaine points out. "You needed to be honest, yes, but you also needed to not lash out at me because you're upset or embarrassed. It makes me feel like I'm worth nothing."

"I'm horrible at all of this."

"You're not."

"I am," Kurt says, shaking his head and pulling away from Blaine. "You shouldn't be with someone like me."

"Don't you even dare do this," Blaine implores. "Or I will sit on your lap, in the middle of this airport, until you agree that you're a wonderful boyfriend."

But Kurt is sulking and he turns, drawing his knees up tight to his chest, and looking out at the planes. "You will not."

"Excuse me sir," Blaine says loudly, getting to his feet. "We're conducting a customer satisfaction survey here today. Tell me, how do you think Kurt Hummel rates as a boyfriend?"

"Terrible," Kurt says morosely. "Shoot him and be done with it."

"Really?" Blaine pretends to look down at an imaginary clipboard, and read his notes. "Hmm. That's strange, because one Blaine Anderson said he's the best boyfriend ever."

"Well, one Blaine Anderson can be a little sappy sometimes," Kurt remarks. "Stupid bastard."

"It says here, that Mr. Anderson would consider Mr. Hummel for a promotion in the future."

Exasperated, Kurt turns in his chair, setting his feet on the floor. "Blaine, what are you talking about?"

"Fiance, and eventually husband," Blaine declares, straddling his lap. He lets his hands come up to play softly with his hair as he studies him, and they are both suddenly completely ignorant to those around them, their eyes locked on each other. "You're amazing, Kurt," Blaine says softly and sincerely. "The best boyfriend ever, and I really mean that."

"I'm your only boyfriend."

"Because I'll never need another. We all make mistakes, just learn from it and move on. It's Thanksgiving, and I am so incredibly thankful for you." Leaning down, Blaine gives a small kiss to Kurt's cheek, who sighs and lets his eyes flutter closed. "My beautiful lover."

"I wanna jump you in the middle of the airport," Kurt laughs, letting his head fall forward onto Blaine's shoulder. "Oh my god, Blaine, you just...you're wonderful. I hate you."

Blaine nuzzles close, breathing Kurt in, and wishing for all the world that they were alone right now, because he knows exactly where this would be leading. "I hate you too," he says with a soft smile. "Don't refuse to acknowledge your past, Kurt, because it's what got you here in the first place, but it's also what happened already. Know that it's there, but don't be afraid to move on and embrace the person you are now."

Their flight is called, and Blaine stands, offering his hand proudly to Kurt, who takes it and pulls himself up. "I see there's a flight going to Paris in an hour," Kurt says with a smile. "Can we go there instead?"

Blaine laughs, but shakes his head. "One day, yes, but literally nothing would make me sacrifice Thanksgiving with my family."

"Sappy bastard," Kurt say as they walk toward the gate, but Blaine knows he feels exactly the same.

* * *

><p>Burt is like a cat on a hot tin roof as he paces arrivals restlessly, but finally, at six thirty precisely, Kurt and Blaine stroll hand in hand through the doors, pulling suitcases behind them. There is a moment, where Burt marvels at how happy and confident they both seem compared with the broken souls he had witnessed at times during the last two years, and then they are upon him, crushing him in a big hug. Everyone starts talking over each other all at once, and Burt thinks how wonderful it is to have his sons home.<p>

"Bessie!" Blaine and Kurt cry simultaneously, as they run to the car.

"Who's driving?" Burt asks, dangling the key in the air, and Kurt quickly grabs it.

"Blaine can," he says, tossing it to him, and Burt raises an eyebrow, thinking back again to how he used to be.

Blaine doesn't object, in fact, he is almost moved to tears to be behind the wheel of his pride and joy once more. "I've never been in love with a girl until you," he says quietly, but Kurt hears and punches his arm.

"Hey!"

"Hey what? It's true."

"You're two timing me with this car."

"You know it," Blaine says with a laugh.

"God dad, send him back, give him away, sell him on eBay," Kurt tells Burt, who laughs. "He's obnoxious and insufferable."

"That's funny," Blaine says, as he pulls the car out onto the highway. "On the flight I was irresistible and sexy."

"Keep me out of it," Burt laughs. "You two are both insufferable, which is why you're in the basement together. I ain't having your noise when I'm trying to sleep."

* * *

><p>They share a nice dinner at home, play three rounds of cards, and have a couple of beers each; their evening is entirely perfect. Eventually, in the early hours, Burt retires to bed, suddenly remembering he has work the next day, and Kurt and Blaine are left alone for Kurt to stretch the length of the couch and pull Blaine back against him.<p>

"Happy puppy," he says, his voice heavy with sleep.

Blaine smiles and kisses his hand. "Yeah. You know? I don't think I'd want to be anywhere else right now."

"Same."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Funny, isn't it? I remember you telling me that you wanted a quiet life, married to someone you love. I never thought I'd want the same."

"It's not like I don't ever want to go out and have fun, live it up at a bar or whatever."

"I know that."

"Just that this is..."

"Perfect."

"Yeah."

The next thing Kurt becomes aware of, is that he is cold and desperate for the bathroom. Stretching slowly, he opens his eyes in the grey light of the dawn and gives Blaine a nudge. "We fell asleep."

"Huh?"

"We fell asleep. C'mon, let's get to bed."

He tugs a sleepy and disorientated Blaine down the stairs to the basement, where he falls on the bed and curls up on his side. "Here," Kurt says, pushing his pajamas at him. "Put these on. I have to pee."

When he returns, it is to find Blaine in bed, face down and with the covers pulled up to his shoulders. He can see he's shirtless, so he follows suit, stripping down to his underwear and pulling back the covers. Only, Blaine is not just shirtless, he is entirely naked, clearly having decided that pajamas were too much effort.

Kurt lets out a soft "oh" at the sight of Blaine naked before him and sleeping quietly, and then, before he can over think, he lies down on top of him, his chest pressed tight to his back. "Oh yes," he whispers, then thinks again and wriggles out of his underwear, before pressing back against him. "Even better," he murmurs.

"Horny tiger."

"Jesus! I didn't know you were awake."

"Kurt, you're lying on top of me, completely naked," Blaine mutters, half his face pressed into the pillow. "Your dick is right where it's meant to be."

"It's meant to be there?"

Blaine smiles when he feels him twitch against him, and he reaches around to grab Kurt's ass, pulling him closer. "It is."

"Oh fuck," he breathes, as he feels himself beginning to harden. "Blaine..."

"Do whatever you want to me," Blaine whispers. "Take control."

"Fuck." Kurt's head drops forward, momentarily resting on Blaine's shoulder, before he looks up and scrapes his teeth over the same spot. "Stay like this," he says, his voice quiet, but firm and commanding. Reaching under to Blaine's chest, he rolls a nipple between his thumb and forefinger, as he sucks a large mark onto Blaine's back.

He pulls back for a moment and when he returns he is slick, sliding perfectly between Blaine's cheeks. He keeps up this rhythm as he teases Blaine, alternating between kissing and biting across his shoulders, before he pushes the head of his cock inside. "Oh Blaine," he groans quietly. "You just...Blaine."

Nudging his legs apart with his knee, Kurt moves slowly, but with deep, hard thrusts, as if trying to push as far inside as he can. He keeps himself propped up with one arm, but lets the other slide under to rest against Blaine's chest, near his heart.

Blaine moans softly at the feel of Kurt thrusting hard inside him, and angles one leg up so he can reach his cock to stroke in time with him. "Kurt," he says brokenly, but really there is nothing more he can say. Kurt is filling him up, taking him just like he wants and needs.

They are silent apart from their heavy breathing, as Kurt moves to dig his fingers into the curve of Blaine's hip, studying him, and even in the middle of his lust, he still feels astounded by his beauty.

His face turned to the side, his hair damp and curling over his temples, Blaine bites his lip before taking in a small gasp of pleasure as Kurt thrusts particularly hard. His eyes are closed, his lips red, the tip of his tongue just visible behind his teeth, and Kurt...Kurt wants and needs it all.

"Oh my god," he moans, and leans down, trying his best to find Blaine's lips. Their kiss doesn't last though, as his orgasm hits and he ends up gasping into Blaine's mouth instead, who reaches up, running his fingers into Kurt's hair and tugging lightly.

He rests briefly, pushed as tight against Blaine as he can, and dropping soft kisses to his shoulder and the beautiful curve of his neck, but then he pulls out, kissing down Blaine's spine and wrapping one hand around his cock as he moves lower.

"Come with my tongue in you," he whispers, then pushes Blaine's knees up, giving him easy access to run his tongue inside of him, where he is still open and glistening white.

"Kurt," Blaine moans loudly as he fists the pillow. "Oh Kurt..."

He comes right away, clenching around Kurt's tongue as he gasps his name over and over. Kurt doesn't move, waiting until he's taken every last drop from Blaine and he can feel the clenching slowing down, before he starts to shudder, feeling suddenly cold and over exposed.

"Fuck." Blaine mumbles, and falls face forward onto the bed, and then winces. "Gross."

"Here," Kurt laughs, grabbing Blaine's pajama top and wiping at the wet patch on the bed and then his stomach. "You wanna take a shower?"

"Nope."

"You're just gonna be gross?"

"Yep."

"Gross."

"Kurt, it's like...five in the morning and we've just had really intense sex. Just let me cuddle with you. We can shower later."

Kurt lies down facing him, until their noses are almost pressed together and he can sling an arm across Blaine's waist. "Okay," he whispers, and Blaine, with his eyes closed and looking close to sleep again, smiles.

"I love you."

Kurt leans forward, giving his lips a soft, lingering kiss. "I love you too."

* * *

><p>"Boys?" Burt calls warily down the stairs. He doesn't know what to do when there is no answer. Blaine is usually awake early, and even if he's not, Kurt is a light sleeper, so he tries again.<p>

"Kurt? Blaine? Children of mine?"

Still nothing, so he takes a couple of steps down the basement stairs. "Kurt? My little baby?"

He knows if Kurt will be riled by anything it will be that, but there's still nothing, and he looks at his watch, frowning when he sees it's almost eight thirty. "Um...I was just wondering if either of you were planning on coming to the shop today? You don't have to."

The silence now has him worried. Burt is not a quiet man, and he's pretty sure they should've woken at the sound of his voice, so with a loud sigh, he walks a couple more steps down, bracing himself for what he might see.

"Oh."

The short answer is that Burt doesn't see anything inappropriate, just Kurt and Blaine fast asleep, so he turns to walk back up the stairs, then stops and looks again. The covers are up to their necks, and Kurt and Blaine lie facing each other, their faces perfectly content, in fact, Kurt is sleeping soundly, with a totally serene smile on his face.

"Cute," Burt smiles, then he sees their hands. Clasped between them, resting just under their chins, they are holding each others hands even in their sleep, and Burt, knowing he will be yelled at for it but not caring anyway, grabs his phone and takes a photo.

"One for the grandkids," he laughs to himself, and walks back up the stairs and heads to work.

* * *

><p>Kurt blinks slowly awake, to find Blaine watching him with his big round eyes, which Kurt describes as amber, hazel or gold depending on his mood. Gold, right now, and shining with happiness.<p>

"You're watching me sleep," he points out, his voice heavy. He gives a lazy smile and closes his eyes again. "I'm sure I should be more alarmed."

"You're beautiful," Blaine says quietly, and he moves closer, placing a tender kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"I'm old."

"No you're not," Blaine reassures. "In two weeks you'll be old."

"Thanks for that."

"Welcome."

Kurt smiles and opens his eyes again, sticking his tongue out. "Ugh. Your eyes are so drownable."

"I keep telling you, drownable is not a word."

"And I keep telling you it is. Go back to sleep."

"I was just lying here thinking how far we've come."

"Yeah," Kurt sighs. "All the way from New York."

"Very funny."

The sound of a text makes Blaine roll over and grab his phone, and he laughs loudly before rolling back and handing the phone to Kurt. "Our dad is a stalker."

Kurt takes one look at the photo and beams, his excited eyes looking up at Blaine before looking back at the picture again. "I love it. It better be on my phone too, wherever it is. Probably down the back of the couch."

Blaine takes the phone back, setting it on the nightstand once more. "To be honest, I'm amazed he knew how to take a photo on his phone in the first place, let alone send it."

"He probably asked Liam."

Blaine moves closer, figuring he might just spend the entire morning making out with his boyfriend, but then his phone starts to ring, and he groans while Kurt laughs.

"You know that's him calling to see if we got it."

"Probably." Blaine snatches up the phone again, huffing dramatically over the line. "Yes, stalker, we got the picture, thank you."

"Blaine?"

"Oh." Blaine sits upright as Kurt watches him. "Mom?"

"Blaine, sweetie!" Angie coos. "How are you?"

"Oh, um...yeah. I'm good. Yeah. How are you?"

"I'm um..." Angie stops short and clears her throat, and Blaine can hear the sound of heavy traffic in the background. "Are you at home?"

"Yeah, I've just woken up."

"Blaine honey, it's nearly ten."

"I know, but I didn't sleep well last night."

"Okay. So where are you then? Home as in Kurt's apartment, or your dorm?"

"Neither," Blaine says with a frown. "I'm in Ohio. Home, home."

"Oh."

There is a long silence from Angie, and if it wasn't for the noise coming over the line, Blaine would think she had gone, but eventually she clears her throat again. "I see. Well, that's nice. How long are you there for?"

"Until Sunday."

"Right. Good."

Blaine frowns again and Kurt sits up, taking his hand. While Angie had seemed warm and bubbly initially, she is now cold once more, her voice hard, and then suddenly it hits Blaine.

"Mom? Are you in New York?"

"Uh...well, yes. I was going to suggest we...but it doesn't matter. Really. I'll talk to you soon."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't know!" Blaine cries, as Kurt presses closer to listen.

"It was a last minute thing. Like I said, no big deal."

"But..."

"Be a good boy for Mr Hummel now. I'll call in the New Year."

"The New Year?" Blaine yells, then huffs and runs a hand through his hair. "Fine. Goodbye." He ends the call abruptly and lies back down in bed.

"Is that it?" Kurt asks in disbelief.

"Is what it?"

"That. That's all you're gonna say to her?"

"There's not a lot else to say, is there? She's in New York, I'm not, but she's still not going to make any effort to see me. You heard. She'll call in the New Year."

"She's waiting for you to...I don't know," Kurt says as gently as he can, as he lies down next to him. "Tell her you'll call next week, offer an invitation to visit?...I'm not sure, Blaine, but I think she is only in New York to see you."

"Well I'm not there, am I?" Blaine snaps angrily. "And why? Why didn't she call over the weekend and say she was thinking of visiting on Wednesday? Why does she have to blow hot and cold; surprising me with visits and then shutting me out when I'm not available? Why do I have to be the one to call her or invite her to visit?"

"Because she's just like me," Kurt says, pulling Blaine's hands away from his eyes.

"She is not."

"She is," Kurt insists. "She's scared to admit she made a massive mistake. She's scared to admit that she might have damaged her relationship with you beyond repair, so she does elaborate things, like turning up in New York to try and make things better, and then when things don't go her way she lashes out, only instead of yelling and screaming about it, she withdraws into herself and cuts off all contact. Does that sound like anyone else you know?"

Blaine pouts, in a manner which Kurt could find utterly adorable, if it wasn't for his stubbornness right now. "You don't do that anymore."

"Don't I? How about at the airport yesterday? I didn't know how to tell you I'd seen Jeremy, so instead I lashed out at you for no reason and then stormed off. Blaine, think back to how many times I came home during your junior and senior years. Each one of those times I was desperately wanting to tell you I loved you. I wanted to fall at your feet and beg for your forgiveness and apologize endlessly for how I had treated you, but what did I do? I usually fell into bed with you, then panicked over how to tell you what I really wanted to say. Then suddenly I'd be back in New York, not knowing how to call you and be honest. Your mom doesn't want no contact until New Year, she wants you to know that she loves you, she wants to make this all better, only she doesn't know how."

He reaches out, but Blaine rolls away and sits on the edge of the bed, staring into the distance. He is silent and still, only coming back to Kurt when he sits behind him and kisses the back of his neck.

"I don't think she does," he says eventually, his voice quiet and filled with pain. He pulls on some boxers and stands, gathering clothes from his suitcase. "I don't think she loves me and I don't think she wants to make all this better. I always knew with you. I don't know with her. I could see you weren't the nasty, cold person you pretended to be, but with her it's the other way around. I think this cold hearted bitch is exactly who she really is, and the loving, sweet mom she was, was just a sham. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shower and then go to the garage to spend time with my real parent."


	4. Chapter 4

The second Blaine has turned Bessie around the corner, Kurt moves away from the window with a sigh, and grabs his phone. Their breakfast together had been filled with a polite awkwardness, the kind that only comes when both halves of a couple are fearful of upsetting each other.

Kurt had wanted Blaine to talk some more, but he was unwilling. Blaine wanted to apologize to Kurt for being withdrawn and quiet, but he also wanted Kurt to intrinsically know that he was upset and to make it better somehow, which of course, he couldn't.

So Blaine had gone off to the garage, and Kurt sighs again as he realizes that of course, Burt will know exactly what to say, the right words to use, and the right way to make Blaine listen.

Kurt thinks it over for a long time, nursing a cup of coffee until it turns cold, but eventually he decides to go for it, and unlocks his phone. He had taken Angie's number from Blaine's phone while he showered, a spur of the moment decision, but one he was pretty sure he wouldn't regret.

He dials quickly, not giving himself any more time to think about it, and Angie answers after just two rings.

"Hello?"

"It's Kurt."

"Oh. I see." Again her voice turns cold, and Kurt remembers how much he had hated talking on the phone to Blaine at one time, how awkward and uncomfortable it was when he wanted to say so much, but didn't know how. "Is Blaine okay?"

"Yes, he's fine I just... I'm calling to ask you to come here for Thanksgiving."

There is a long silence, in fact, neither one can quite believe those words have just been uttered, and then Angie clears her throat. "Excuse me?"

"I want you to drive to JFK and find a flight to Columbus to come spend Thanksgiving with us."

"I have a family," Angie says briskly. "A husband, children. They'll be..."

"Doing fine without you," Kurt interrupts, and when he gets no instant rebuttal, he carries on. "You ran away, didn't you? For whatever reason, your trip wasn't planned. You just got in your car and drove away, not even knowing where you were going until you arrived in New York."

"I...it wasn't..." Angie stammers, but Kurt keeps going.

"For reasons you can't fathom, you snapped and decided to go, and the one person you decided to try and seek comfort from, was your son."

"It's..." She takes a deep, trembling breath and Kurt realizes she's crying. "I just wanted to see him," she whispers sadly. "It's uh... no. You know what? It's okay. Thank you for the invite, but Blaine has his family and I have mine."

"It wasn't an invite," Kurt tells her. "Now, as dad would say, I've been looking on the Google, and there's a flight at three that still has seats. I'll be at the airport to meet you."

He hangs up quickly, and has no idea whether she will board that plane or not, or even if he's done the right thing, but he takes a deep breath, rolls his shoulders, and heads to the shower.

"_I'll be there_." is the text he sees when he is dressed, and with that in mind, he grabs the keys to Burt's sedan, and heads over to the shop with a wide grin on his face.

The sight of Blaine in his coveralls, bent over a car, with his dad by his side, is a very confusing one for Kurt, and he shakes his head as he leans against the wall. "Cute father son moment ruined by Blaine's hotness."

Burt laughs and straightens up, but Blaine merely walks off in the opposite direction, closing the door to the staff area behind him.

"He's mad at me," Kurt says sadly.

"No he's not. He just needs a moment. Or lots of moments, maybe."

"Um... Angie is coming here for Thanksgiving."

Burt stares, and then stares some more. "Excuse me, what?"

"She uh...she's coming here. I uh...I invited her."

"Are you out of your damn mind?" Burt cries. "What in the world made you think that was a good idea? Is she staying?"

"I don't know the answer to either of those things," Kurt admits. "I just uh...she left home."

Burt steers Kurt into his office, forcing him into a chair before closing the door behind them. "She's left him? For good?"

"No..well, I don't know. I just know that for whatever reason, she got in her car early this morning and started to drive, without even knowing where she was going. She took herself to New York, dad. In her sadness and desperation, all she wanted was Blaine. I know how that feels."

"And she told you all this?" Burt asks skeptically. "She admitted all of this to her son's boyfriend? The boyfriend she doesn't want him to have?"

"No, that's just me...putting things together, I guess."

"I don't know what to say."

"Are you mad?"

"Very," Burt says sharply. "I can see you're trying to do the right thing but...well, Blaine is mine."

"Oh dad. No one's gonna take him away from you."

"They might," he mumbles. "But that's not the point. The point is, I have a responsibility for that boy's well being and emotional state, and you've just blown all his happiness right up in his face. You do realize he's gonna go postal, right? I mean, you might actually hear him yell for the first time ever. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he doesn't speak to you for a long time because of this."

"Look, I just want to know if this is okay or not?"

"It's gonna have to be, isn't it?" Burt snaps, then he shakes his head and leans back in his chair. "Kurt, I'm never gonna turn anyone away, but I'm worried about the effect all this will have on Blaine. She can come, and she can stay, but only if Blaine agrees. If he doesn't want to see her, then he doesn't have to."

"So I guess I need to talk to Blaine."

"Yeah," Burt sighs, standing and clapping him on the shoulder as he walks past. "I guess you do."

Kurt finds him in the staff area, sitting at the table and staring aimlessly out the small window, which overlooks the trash cans out back. Pulling up a chair next to him, Kurt reaches out and gently plays with his hair, a small smile forming on his face when Blaine closes his eyes and sighs.

"Nice?"

"Mmm."

"Blaine? Are you mad at me?"

He thinks a moment, before opening his eyes and taking Kurt's hand. "No, not mad. Just... I don't know. This whole thing with my mom is a mess of emotions, and I don't think I'm ready to deal with it. When we went to Baltimore it was hard enough, but since then she's blown so hot and cold and I just...she's not happy with him, I don't think. I think she regrets marrying Spencer, which is hardly surprising, but she can't just use me as an escape. She has to stand up and take responsibility for all this, you know? I get that you're trying to make things better, but really, she's hurt me so much that I don't think things can ever be right, and to be honest, I don't know if I even want them to be."

"But why though? I mean, I know you love her."

"I do," Blaine concedes. "But I don't think that's enough to make it all okay. She dragged me away from the life I knew, and willingly put me at risk of mental and physical harm, just because she wanted to be with that jerk. I'm sorry if she's unhappy, if it hasn't worked out, but how can you do that to a kid, Kurt? How? How can you agree for them to move away from home at seventeen? To spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with another family, so you can have a peaceful time? It doesn't make any sense! She gave birth to me," Blaine cries. "She raised me, she knew me better than anyone else, and then she threw all that away, and I just...I just don't think that can ever be made right."

"Well maybe you can work on it? I think you should."

"Why?"

"Lots of reasons, but the main one being, that one day, hopefully, we will be those parents. And one day, we might have a son or daughter asking you about your family, and I want you to be able to say it's all okay, and not that you have a mom but you haven't spoken in ten years. I don't want you to get a phone call saying that she's sick or dying, or worse, that she's gone, and you didn't make your peace."

"I hate you, and your stupid life lessons," Blaine grouches, and he moves Kurt's hand back to his hair for comfort.

"So I'm right," Kurt smiles. "Which is good, because I uh...I called your mom after you left this morning."

"Kurt! Why?" Blaine moans. "If I'm gonna sort things out, just let me do it in my own time, don't interfere."

"Well...it's a bit late for that," Kurt tells him, as he bites his lip nervously. "Because she's coming to spend Thanksgiving with us. I'm meeting her at the airport this afternoon."

"What?" Blaine's voice is dangerously low, and his eyes flash with a spark of anger that makes Kurt suddenly realize that his dad's prediction was spot on.

"She uh...I called her back and asked her to come. She's upset and lonely and afraid and I just... I just want to make this right for you, Blaine. I want to make your life perfect."

"My life was perfect," Blaine says through gritted teeth. "I was home, for five days of family time with my dad and my boyfriend. I was happy and content, Kurt. Did you not notice that?"

"There's more to life than just us though, Blaine."

"Not to me there isn't!" he suddenly roars. He stands quickly, knocking his chair over in the process. "She is not coming here, Kurt! You called her once, now call her again and tell her you made a mistake. This is my bubble, my perfect family that I found for myself and she's not welcome in any of it. You want me to work on things with her? Fine. I'll call her sometime and arrange to meet her for dinner, but she is not coming here and intruding on my home, my sanctuary, and the one place I truly belong. She's not! She can't! I don't know what the hell you were thinking, but unthink it! Right now!"

"I'm not gonna do that, Blaine," Kurt says calmly. "She needs you right now."

"She doesn't need shit!" Blaine yells, grabbing his car keys and phone. "She needs nothing and no one but herself. Oh, she's sad? She's hurting? She's had a fight and wants to get out? Her problems, Kurt, not mine and certainly not yours!"

The door to the staff area is pulled open so sharply that it almost comes off its hinges, and all the mechanics try to pretend they're busy working and not really listening in, astounded that Blaine can yell.

Burt drops his wrench, and runs out after Blaine as he storms past, grabbing him just as he reaches Bessie. "Don't drive her in anger, Blaine. Come on. Come inside."

"No!"

"Blaine!" Kurt cries desperately, as he arrives outside. "Please. I'm sorry, I was only trying..."

"To help? Well help me now," Blaine barks. "Tell her she's not welcome."

"No."

"Then fuck you," he snarls. "We're done."

"Please don't curse at me," Kurt says sadly.

"Fuck off with telling me not to fucking curse!" Blaine yells. "You're like a sailor on fucking shore leave, you asshole!"

"Okay, fine, curse all you want, but hear me out."

"No! I'm going. I mean it, Kurt, if you don't cancel with her, then we're done."

He tries to open the car again, but Burt grabs the keys and holds his wrist tightly. "No," he says firmly. "I'm not having you wrap yourself or my girl around a tree cause you're all fired up."

"Fine, then I'll walk," Blaine snaps, and he turns and runs off, across the road and down the street, until he disappears out of sight.

"Well, that could've gone better," Burt helpfully observes, as Kurt throws his hands up in despair.

"Oh really. You think? Ugh. Gimme the keys."

"Kurt, I don't think..."

"Dad, I need to go find him and I can't go on foot, can I? I'll never catch him, now please, give me the keys."

"Fine," Burt sighs. "But when you do find him? Sort this mess out. There's nothing worse than you two fighting. I had nearly two years of it and I don't want it startin' up again."

"Neither do I," Kurt mumbles, then pulls the door open and quickly drives away.

It turns out that Blaine can move quickly, and he also doesn't go anywhere that Kurt would have predicted. He's not at home, he's not at the diner they frequent, he's not at the coffee house, and he hasn't gone back to the garage.

He's on his way to Mike's house to see if he's home for the holiday, when he spots a figure sitting alone on a park bench, staring at the playground. Pulling Bessie to a halt, he walks slowly into the park, as if Blaine were a wild animal who might bolt at any second. He sits quietly on the bench next to him, and feels a somewhat small sense of relief when Blaine touches their fingers together in a silent greeting.

"I've been looking for you," Kurt says quietly. "You had me worried."

"I'm sorry," Blaine says morosely. "I shouldn't have gone off like that but I..." He pauses, rubbing a hand over his face, before he turns and looks at Kurt. "I get what you're trying to do, and it's sweet that you love me as much as you do. I want what you want. I want her to be a mom to me, a proper one, but I think too much has happened. You and I can both see glimpses there but ultimately, while she is still married to Spencer, things are never going to work out. To be honest, I think even if she left him things wouldn't be okay. Too much has happened, she's hurt me too badly for me to get back all we had. It won't ever be the same again, and for you to...to invite her to stay...it's hard for me. On the one hand I want to be really excited about it, y'know? But the huge, overwhelming part of me knows that however good it might be, it will also be full of awkwardness for both of us. I won't feel comfortable, and how do you think she will feel, knowing that I belong with you two and not with her? We'll have a couple of days together, and then we'll be back to square one, with her not calling and being elusive and cold, just like what happened after Baltimore."

"It didn't though," Kurt persists gently. "If you think back, your mom actually called you quite a lot after our visit. Things tailed off, I know, but for a while there they had improved. Blaine...I get all you're saying, but can I just explain my side? Will you hear me out?"

"I guess so."

"I want to give her a chance. The way she has treated you in the time I've known you has been horrific, and you're right, no one should ever willingly put their kid in danger like that. All of that is over and done, though it wasn't her who made it better. I should hate her, and in many ways, I do, but let me offer you this. Suppose dad hadn't taken a chance on you that day? What if he'd pulled up his garage door and just seen a sullen teenaged boy bouncing a ball against the wall, and decided to ignore you? What if you'd seen me standing in the kitchen that day, and just

thought I was a jerk and moved on? What if, one of the many, many times I hurt you, that you had walked away for good? What if you knew how much I was hurting, knew how much I needed help, but decided to give up on me? What then? We all need someone to take a chance on us now and then. Whether this will work out, and things will slowly improve, I don't know. But I do know that I'd like you to try. If it doesn't work out, if she walks away and things go back to how they were, then I'm sorry, for you and her, but I'll be here to help you through it all. I don't think you'll ever have the same relationship as you two had when you were fourteen or whatever. You're right, too much has happened, but you can have a relationship of some sort, and I think it's important that you try to. She needs you to reach out to her right now, and you have the support and love from me and dad to enable you to do that."

"And what if I say no?"

"Well, I'll be disappointed, but I'll respect your decision and I'll call her and tell her not to come."

"What time is she supposed to be here?"

"Just before five."

"I trust you enough."

"Huh?"

"To know that you'll help me through all this," Blaine clarifies. "I have faith in you, in us."

"So..."

"So," Blaine says, looking at his watch. "We'd better go to the airport."

"Not in those coveralls," Kurt teases gently. "Let's get you changed and then we'll go."

"I am sorry, Kurt," Blaine tells him, as they walk from the park. "For going off like that. I was angry."

"I noticed."

"We're not done," he says, taking Kurt's hand in his. "Never done."

"I know that," Kurt says lightly. "I also know that if the tables were turned, and you were the one forcing me into something I didn't want to do, I'd be exploding in a rage far worse than yours, so I'm pretty happy with the outcome."

"So I'm a pushover?"

"No." Kurt stops them by the car, wanting to kiss Blaine for all he's worth, but also mindful that this is a park full of parents in Lima, so he settles for hugging him tight instead, and whispering in his ear. "You're perfect, Blaine. Being open to reason doesn't make you a pushover."

"I'm scared," he admits, hanging his head when Kurt steps back. "I'm scared of what will happen, of what I'll feel, of it all being good and then all getting forgotten..."

"But I'm here," Kurt reminds him gently. "I'm here, dad's here, and we are never, ever letting you go. I promise."

Blaine goes gratefully into his embrace once more, until Kurt becomes conscious of two women glaring at him, so he pulls open the car door and ushers Blaine inside.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend," Kurt calls loudly. "We're gay. Going to hell and all that, but hey, at least the sex is good."

"Kurt!" Blaine cries, as he climbs in the car and gives a self satisfied nod. "Oh my god!"

"What? Screw them. I wanted to kiss you and I held off, but they were giving me the evil eye just for hugging you, Blaine, and that's idiotic."

"You..." But Blaine stops, and laughs instead, leaning across to give him a long, lingering kiss. "You are so sweet, and caring and tender, and then every so often, you get feisty."

"Sorry."

"No," Blaine says quickly. "Don't be. Caring Kurt is wonderful, but I fell in love with this sassy, sharp and smart side of you and...God, Kurt, don't ever change."

"Oh." Pleased, he starts the car and draws Blaine close on the bench seat, slinging an arm around his shoulders, kissing into his hair, and happily giving the women the finger as he drives slowly past. "I won't."


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt isn't entirely sure why Blaine has worn a suit to meet his mom at the airport, or why he stands ramrod straight, his eyes fixed on the far wall as he clings tightly to Kurt's arm, but he does, so Kurt says nothing, moving his arm until he's holding Blaine's hand and can squeeze his fingers gently.

"You okay? No, no, you're not okay. That was dumb. I'm sorry."

"I'm more worried about the trip home than anything," Blaine admits. "It's nearly two hours. What if we run out of conversation?"

"We won't," Kurt reassures with a soft smile. "If we do, just ask my opinion on Republicans. I'll fill the time."

Blaine laughs, breaking his stare to look at Kurt instead. "You fool."

"What? I have a lot to say on the subject."

"You have a lot to say on any subject," Blaine points out. "It was yellow bananas the other day."

"Because there comes a time when a banana has to be eaten. You have to watch carefully for that moment, because it quickly changes from being in its prime to being past its peak."

"And the one I offered you..."

"Was past its peak! If you'd offered it to me the day before, fine, but when you did offer it to me, it was too yellow."

"You refused my banana," Blaine teases.

"Blaine, I will always be happy to eat your banana, anytime you wish, but if it's too yellow, I'm not going near it."

They both laugh, and Kurt gets a small thrill when Blaine turns to take him in his arms and kisses just above his collar. "Love you, tiger."

"Love you too," Kurt grins.

"Hi."

"Oh!" They jump apart. Kurt smoothes down his shirt as his cheeks redden, and he offers Angie a small smile. Meanwhile, Blaine swallows and stares at the ground, saying nothing. "Hi," Kurt says, suddenly not sure if he should hug her or not. He decides he better not, and nudges Blaine forward instead.

"Blaine?" Angie says quietly, holding out her arms.

He goes, and Kurt notices how they both seem to sag against one another, and Blaine almost buries himself in her arms. "Mom," is all he says, but it's enough for Angie to be wiping away tears when she pulls back.

"I just uh...thank you," she says to Kurt, sincerity in her eyes. "Thank you for inviting me. I hope Burt didn't mind?"

"He was fine," Kurt says brightly, taking Blaine's hand and tugging him to the exit. "It's nice for you to be with us on Thanksgiving, right?"

"Yes," Angie smiles. "I have to uh...I have to fly back Friday morning but..."

"But you're here," Kurt says, before Blaine can question her on why she needs to return. "And dad will have dinner ready when we get home. Blaine trained him well."

"How's college, Blaine?"

"It's uh...yeah, it's great," he says, allowing himself a smile. "Really great. It took me a while to settle in but..."

"Is your roommate nice?"

"He is, but I prefer my weekend one."

Kurt blushes pink with pleasure at Blaine's openness and sincerity, and gives him a look which silently tells Blaine that remark has just made his day. "This is us," he says, unlocking Bessie.

"Ah, the infamous car," Angie says, impressed. "I finally get to ride in it."

"Please don't call her a car," Blaine says, wounded. "Or an it. She's Bessie."

"Oh."

"Blaine is a little over protective," Kurt explains. "Which is cute. Bessie is quite special though. So uh..." he takes Angie's small bag and loads it into the trunk, before holding the back door open for her. He might be trying, but there's still no way he's letting her ride in the front instead of Blaine.

Angie seems okay though, and actually seems to relax once she's leaning back against the comforting leather of Bessie's seat. "She's lovely," she declares, and Blaine puffs up with pride.

"She is. I miss her, I miss working on her, but getting to drive her is like...the best thing."

"I'll bet people look at you as you drive past."

"They do, but that's usually because Kurt's flipping them off."

"Hey! Those women were rude!" Kurt objects with a laugh.

Polite conversation gets them through the Columbus traffic and out onto the highway, by which time everyone is feeling a little more relaxed and easy about the whole thing. Angie is completely fascinated by the relationship between her son and Kurt, the ease and affection, the gentle teasing, and also, and perhaps most startling to her, the strength.

She had assumed, despite Blaine's assertions about children in the future, that this was just another teenage romance. Even though Kurt could hardly be classed as that, she still figured that they were dating, calling each other boyfriends, but that was about it. After just half an hour in their company though, she can see that it goes far beyond that, and that they are deeply in love.

They're like a couple who have been together for years, in the way they bicker and argue, and she can also see how feisty Kurt can be. She's happy to see Blaine gives as good as he gets though, and when Kurt launches into a tirade of abuse against a truck that cuts him off, and makes to do the same in return, Blaine talks him out of it by making him laugh, and showing him how futile it would be.

"Use your energies elsewhere."

"Shut up."

"Which means I'm right," Blaine says smugly.

"You're not right."

"I am, because you're telling me to shut up."

"Bastard. I hate you."

"What was that you said, Kurt? 'You're right Blaine, and I love you very much?' Why thank you Kurt, I love you too."

Kurt laughs and shakes his head, glancing at Blaine and sticking his tongue out.

"Besides, dad would kill you if you took Bessie back with a scratch on her, especially if you then said it was because you were trying to get revenge on a truck."

"Speaking of," Kurt says, tossing his phone into Blaine's lap. "Can you call him and see if he wants anything from the store before we head home? He always forgets something and I'm not going out again."

Angie leans back and closes her eyes, content to listen to the conversation from the pair. Away from Baltimore, and away from the oppressive presence of Spencer for the first time in more than three years, Angie feels like she can breathe for the first time. She pushes all uncomfortable thoughts to the back of her mind, and focuses on the here and now. She is spending Thanksgiving with her son, her son who has shown strength and resilience, and found love.

"Dad? It's me. Kurt wants to know if you need anything before we come home?" He waits, as Angie sits up again and opens her eyes in time to see him smiling.

"Okay, yeah. Sure? You got pecans?"

He laughs loudly at whatever it is Burt says, and turns to Kurt. "Pecans."

"Knew it! Tell him he's hopeless."

"Kurt says you're hopeless." He laughs again and turns back. "Dad says you're rude and to get the pecans if you want any pie tomorrow."

He finishes the call and hangs up, and Angie immediately leans forward. "You call him dad?"

"Oh..uh..yeah," Blaine says awkwardly. "It's uh...well, I suggested it, actually."

"You had a dad," Angie points out.

"I had a whole family," Blaine immediately shoots back, then bites his lip when he sees the hurt flash across her face. "Sorry. Look, dad was...still is, wonderful. He gave me everything, and I'll be forever thankful, but, Burt is my dad too."

"He's not, though," Angie argues, unwilling to let it drop. "You know, Blaine, I find it hard to accept that you'd change so much for him, and yet when Spencer tried, you..."

"Spencer didn't try shit," Blaine snaps loudly, while Kurt drives on in silence. "And I didn't change, mom, I grew up. Nothing about my personality changed at all, it's just that Burt found me acceptable while Spencer didn't. Don't even try and compare anything Spencer did to Burt's actions. Spencer bullied and tormented me for a year of my life. His sons outed me in the middle of high school and encouraged others to bully me. I know you see it, because you told me so yourself. They are vile human beings, mom. All Burt did was love me, and provide me with a safe haven. So yes, I do call him my dad, and no, I won't drop it to satisfy your guilt, because Burt has been ten times more of a parent to me than you have."

What follows is a resounding silence, filled with angry, simmering resentment, as Angie turns to look out her window, and Blaine slumps down in his seat, staring straight ahead. Silently, Kurt reaches out for his hand and holds it tightly. It's not much, but it's enough for Blaine to shift closer along the bench seat, until Kurt can sling his arm around him and kiss into his hair.

"Love you," he whispers, and Blaine gives a small nod, unable to say more.

They stay that way for the longest time, until Blaine glances over his shoulder and sees his mom wiping at her eyes. Filled with a pang of regret, he hauls himself into the backseat and rests his hand gently on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly. "That was really low and uncalled for and...yeah, I'm sorry. I just...I get really defensive of Burt and our life together, because no one can really understand unless they're living it. Even so, I shouldn't have said what I said, so..."

"You were right though," Angie says with a sniff. "He's been far better to you than I have."

"Recently, yes," Blaine admits. He's not going to shy away from the facts, because otherwise how will Angie ever understand? "But you know what? I don't ever want anyone's pity for that time I lived with Spencer, because the time previous to that was so good. You and dad gave me an excellent childhood, mom, and I really will be forever grateful for that."

"We did have fun, didn't we?"

"We really did," Blaine says with a sad smile. "And I don't want you to think I hate you, or won't forgive you for what happened since but….well, you made your choice, I guess," Blaine says with a shrug. "I want you in my life, I want you to be my mom, but I can't have any involvement with him or his sons, I just can't."

"No," Angie says quietly. "I don't blame you."

"Does he treat you okay?" Blaine asks, seizing his opportunity. "Does he hurt you? Why did you leave?"

"I haven't left," Angie says stiffly. "I'm going back. I just..." She trails off, wiping at her eyes, which just seem to cry endless silent tears. "He doesn't hurt me, no," she settles on. "Not physically."

"Walk away," Blaine urges, holding her hand tightly.

"I can't do that."

"I did."

"You didn't, you were rescued," Angie points out. "By the man you now call dad."

"You know you should be grateful," Blaine says, becoming angry once more. "Because if he hadn't, I think you would've been attending my funeral."

"You would have...?"

"I don't know," Blaine admits. "I just know that I couldn't have gone on living with them like that. Especially if I'd moved with you. At least in Lima I had Burt's house to escape to, but in Baltimore I would have had nothing and..."

"Who wants to hear my views on the Republican Party?" Kurt calls from the front, breaking the moment completely.

Blaine laughs, while Angie looks confused, and he leans forward to ruffle Kurt's hair. "Tell me about bananas instead."

"Are you a Republican, Kurt?" Angie asks in surprise.

"No I am not!" he cries, affronted. "Sheesh, what do you take me for?"

"Oh, good, I was worried there for a moment," Angie says, and Kurt laughs in surprise. "Look," she says, turning back to Blaine again. "I am more than aware of all that Burt has done for you, really. I know that if it wasn't for him and Kurt, then we probably wouldn't even be talking, or worse, so... .so I'm grateful to him for that. It's not easy though, to admit that someone who is, or was a stranger to me, can give my son a happier life that I can, and the worst part is knowing that it was all my choice. It was my choice to marry Spencer, my choice to turn a blind eye to your pain, and my choice to let you move in with Burt. If hearing you call him dad makes me upset, then I have no one to blame but myself, and I'm sorry for getting worked up about it."

"He'll never replace dad," Blaine says gently. "You know that, right? He'll just sit there, alongside. Like...I have two dads, instead of one."

"I know that."

"The letter dad wrote me...he said….he told me to find happiness, and that's just what I've done."

"You have," Angie agrees, reaching out to run a hand gently over his cheek. "You have and I'm so proud of you for that."

"I want you to be happy too," Blaine adds sadly, knowing that at this point in time, she's not.

"I don't really think I deserve that," Angie says, shaking her head. "I'm just grateful that you still want me in your life, in whatever capacity."

"I do, but things will never be how they were," Blaine admits, looking down at their hands. "Too much has happened."

Angie sighs, and holds his hand a little bit tighter. "I realize that, but I'm happy to take whatever you want to give."

Burt knows the ride home has been stressful from the way Kurt slams a bag of groceries onto the counter and heads straight for the fridge, where he grabs a beer and downs nearly the entire thing before taking a breath.

"Oh my god," he whispers, looking at his dad. "Just... Oh my god."

"Where are they?"

"In the hall," Kurt whispers quickly. "But dad...Blaine launched into this tirade against his mom, she got all shitty because he calls you dad, and then Blaine said..."

He's prevented from saying anymore by the arrival of Blaine with Angie in tow. The atmosphere is immediately awkward, with Angie appearing out of place, and Blaine looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Well, hello," Burt says a brightly as he can. "Nice to have you here, Angie. Can I get you anything? A drink? Dinner's nearly ready."

"No that's um... I'm good," Angie says quietly. "I just wanted to thank you for letting me visit."

"Anytime. Blaine? You wanna take your mom's bag and show her to the guest room?"

"No."

"It wasn't a question."

Blaine trails meekly from the room with Angie following, but he's back downstairs quickly to seek comfort in the arms of Burt, who has been brought up to date by Kurt, who is now on his second beer.

"Well, you said what you wanted to say, didn't you?" Burt says, as he folds him into a strong hug.

"That's not even half of it."

"Maybe save the rest," Burt advises. He drops a little kiss to the top of Blaine's head but doesn't let go of him, just squeezes him that little bit tighter. "We'll make this just a normal Hummel family evening, okay? We'll have dinner, play cards. That'll relax everyone and... Kurt, don't even think about having another beer," Burt barks, and Kurt huffs and slams the fridge door shut.

"Fine."

They hear footsteps on the stairs and Blaine stiffens, but Kurt takes him by the hand quickly and pulls him toward the basement door. "C'mon. Let's get five minutes alone."

"Did I scare them away?" Angie asks, entering the kitchen just as the basement door closes.

"No, Blaine just needs five minutes, that's all."

Burt pulls a stool up to the counter for Angie, and she settles down as he slides a beer across to her without even asking. She's surprised, but pleased, and takes a sip before fiddling with the label.

"So he calls you dad now."

"He does." Burt carries on cooking, waiting, but she doesn't say anything else. "It was his idea," Burt offers. "If you were wondering. There was some stuff in the letter from his dad which he thought about, and then we went on our road trip and...well, he asked if he could, and I said yes."

"Have you read that letter?"

"I have."

"Blaine asked you to?"

Burt gives a nod, hoping she's not about to put him in an awkward position by asking what it said, but she doesn't, just sips her beer again and sighs.

"I don't think he'll ever ask me to read it."

"No, well..."

"I don't blame him," she says with a tight smile. "Can I ask, how did you feel? When he asked if he could call you dad?"

"Elated," Burt admits, his heart swelling at the thought. "Like it all finally fit. I love him, Angie. I love him as if he were my own, and I know he's not, and I don't want to take him away from you or Carl, but he's part of my family too."

"I know. And I know how much you love him. I guess it's just...strange for me, because Spencer's sons call me mom, but that's because he told them to. I've never gotten a warm feeling from hearing them say it. On the contrary, I often wish they wouldn't. I don't want people thinking I raised them."

"Blaine's not like them at all."

"No, he's not. He's wonderful. Thanks to you."

"Thanks to both of us, actually," Burt corrects. "And Carl. You two raised him so well, all I did was give him a home when he needed one."

"Actually, I think you did so much more," Angie tells him sincerely. "But thank you, for saying that. I'm kinda hoping these two days will help us both to move forward a bit, you know?"

"Are you going back to him?"

"Spencer? Yes, I think so."

Burt says nothing, but his disapproving look tells her enough, and she is immediately on the defence.

"He's not a bad guy!"

"Tell that to someone who hasn't met him," Burt snaps. "Might I remind you of all he did to Blaine? And hell, you're sitting there saying he's not a bad guy, and yet you ran to New York to escape him."

"It wasn't just him. It's just all too oppressive sometimes and I...I can't...I needed to get out," she finishes weakly. "He's...ugh. Look, I can't talk about this right now, I can't. I think I'm going to..."

"Sit down," Burt orders, and Angie obeys. "Fine, we'll drop it. But we're revisiting this before you leave," he adds, as he starts to set plates on the table.

* * *

><p>Blaine falls onto his bed and Kurt is quick to lie by his side, smoothing a hand through his hair and kissing his cheek. "Come on. You're doing so well."<p>

"It's draining, you know? That's what all this is. Emotionally draining."

"I know, I know."

"I'm so glad I've got you," Blaine murmurs, cuddling close and kissing under Kurt's jaw.

"I'm glad you've got me too," Kurt grins, and he happily lets Blaine roll on top of him. "What are we doing, huh? I thought this was a five minute time out before dinner?"

"Five minutes making out," Blaine corrects, and Kurt needs no further convincing.

By the time Burt booms, "Dinner!" down the stairs, both Kurt and Blaine are hard and aching, making out fiercely, tugging on hair, biting at lips and grinding against each other.

"No, no," Kurt gasps, as Blaine sucks at his neck. "Not dinner. No."

"It can wait, can't it?" Blaine asks, then whimpers with pleasure when Kurt's hand slides down the back of his jeans.

"Boys! Dinner!"

"Yes, yes, it can wait," Kurt says with a groan of satisfaction. "Just...oh god, just touch me."

Blaine hastily wrestles with the buckle on Kurt's belt, and gets his fly open, both of them gasping when his hand wraps around Kurt.

"Boys! I will come down there! Dinner!"

"He's getting louder," Blaine needlessly points out.

"I'm getting closer," Kurt cries. "Please, let's finish this."

"I want to but..."

"Boys! Honest to god!"

They scramble apart quickly at the sound of Burt's footsteps, but he stops short of coming any further, so all they can see is an angry pair of legs.

"I don't even need to ask," Burt snaps. "Blaine, your mother is sitting as a guest at our dining room table. Kindly be polite enough to stop whatever it is you're up to, and come upstairs to join us. Now."

"Sorry," Blaine mutters, when he slides into his chair. He keeps his eyes downcast, not even daring to look at Burt or his mom, because he knows his face is on fire with embarrassment. "We were uh..." he trails off, as Kurt sits next to him.

"Fooling around," he finishes for Blaine, helping himself to mashed potatoes as if nothing were amiss. "Dad's timing is always impeccable."

"Oh!" Angie says in surprise, and she looks almost as embarrassed as her son. She takes the dish wordlessly from Kurt, and he yelps when he gets kicked on both sides from Blaine and his dad.

"What was that for?"

"You can't say stuff like that," Blaine hisses, though everyone can hear him anyway. "Not in front of my mom. It's...no. You just can't."

Kurt rolls his eyes, drowning his dinner in gravy. "News flash Blaine, I think your mom is well aware that we don't sit in bed doing jigsaw puzzles."

"It's not...I know...but right before dinner and..."

"Blaine, sweetie, it's okay," Angie says, coming to his rescue. "Kurt is right. I've been there too, remember?"

"Oh god."

"This is what I always tell them," Burt booms, while Blaine sits wishing the ground would open up. "Been there, done that. Well, not that. Not what they...but you know what I mean. They're always doing this. That. They're always...well, you know."

Blaine groans and tries to hide in Kurt's shoulder. "See what you've started?"

But Kurt just laughs and gives a quick kiss into Blaine's hair. "Don't get so embarrassed."

"It's okay to admit you're in love," Angie offers. "In fact, the more I see you two together, the cuter you both appear."

"It's not that," Blaine says, still utterly mortified. "I don't care who knows I love him, it's just...other stuff. I prefer to keep it private, that's all."

"Blaine," Kurt says with a roll of his eyes. "I happened to mention we were fooling around, that's all. I didn't suggest rampant sex in the middle of Central Park."

"Oh my god! Will you just be quiet?"

Angie laughs, not even stopping to think about the fact that this is the happiest she's been in months. "You know, I think you two are good for each other," she says, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Yeah, he keeps me fit," Kurt says with a wink, while Blaine slides down dramatically in his chair and hides his face in his hands.

"Blaine, I think Kurt's unpredictability is something you secretly love," Angie continues.

"Amen!" Burt cries. "That's what I think too. He likes to moan about it, but he wouldn't love him so much if he wasn't a loose canon."

"I think he helps Blaine come out of his shell, helps him to loosen up a little," Angie offers, and Burt nods emphatically.

"They're talking about us like we're not even here," Blaine moans.

Kurt pats his knee in sympathy. "I know, but it's interesting, isn't it? To get a different perspective?"

"Not really, no."

"I also think, Kurt, dare I say it, that Blaine is a calming influence on you? That he maybe tames you somewhat?"

Angie bites her lip, aware that she still doesn't know Kurt all that well, but he swallows his food and nods. "Won't even try to deny it. I'd hit the self destruct button in a hard way before Blaine came along, and it was only his and dad's faith in me that saved me. He gives me all the security and love that I need. Plus, he's great in..."

"Don't!" Blaine shouts, which makes everyone laugh loudly.

"Yeah, they get along great," Burt says, reaching out to ruffle Kurt's hair. "Except for when they fight."

Kurt gives a frown, heaping all the remaining mashed potatoes onto his plate. "We don't fight."

"We kinda do," Blaine says quietly. "Or bicker, at least."

"We do not!"

"We do," he counters again. "Not like full on blow ups, but we do have quite a few little spats in the course of a day, if you think about it."

"We don't fight! You say stuff, you're wrong, and then I give my opinion, which is right. End of."

"Kurt, shut up. You know we argue. It's no big deal. It's never anything major. It's just us, how we are together. I still love you."

"I hate you," Kurt grouches, and Angie watches on in interest, as Blaine takes Kurt's hand and kisses it, then turns to her with a smile.

"That's his way of saying I'm right."

* * *

><p>Angie is surprised to look up at the clock and see that it's nearly midnight. After dinner they had only moved from the table to load the dishwasher, then they had all settled down again to play cards.<p>

Time had moved quickly and easily, and Angie was totally immersed in being a part of this loving family. She knew she was the outsider, but she also knew that everyone did their best to make her feel welcome. It was a strange personal revelation, to realize that her son being gay no longer bothered her. Sitting here, around the table, watching as he puts an arm around Kurt's shoulder and kisses his cheek, it all seems entirely natural, just two people in love, nothing more and nothing less.

The final round of poker draws to a close, and Kurt yawns and stands, gathering their glasses and heading out to the kitchen. Angie follows, and goes unnoticed, since Blaine has been waiting to talk to Burt about plans for Kurt's thirtieth.

"Kurt?"

"Sheesh!" he says, jumping at the sound of her voice. "Hi."

"Sorry. I just... I just wanted to thank you. Not just for convincing me to visit, but for making Blaine so happy."

"Oh." he finishes loading the glasses into the dishwasher, and turns to face her, leaning against the counter. "I don't know if I..."

"You do, you know you do," she says, and she's happy to see Kurt grinning. "I know your dad gives him a lot too, but his future...well his future is with you, and it's really quite special for me to see him as this happy young man, in a committed relationship so...thank you."

"Well it really is my pleasure," Kurt says, undeniably warmed by her words. "He's just... yeah. He's wonderful."

"I wish Carl could see him," Angie says sadly. "He would be so proud. I mean, he was anyway but..."

"I know."

"Well, I'd best get to bed. Blaine wants me to make pumpkin pie with him in the morning," she says, her eyes filling with tears. "We haven't done that since... I mean, that's a good thing, right?" she asks fearfully. "That he wants to do that again?"

"That is definitely a good thing," Kurt agrees.

"Good. Okay. Yes. Well, goodnight, Kurt."

The hug takes Kurt completely off guard, but he returns it nonetheless, then listens as he hears her saying goodnight to Burt and Blaine.

"Ready for bed, Tiger?"

"Depends," Kurt deadpans, as Blaine walks across the kitchen to take him in his arms. "Is it just us? Because I wouldn't want to embarrass you."

"Be quiet," Blaine laughs. "Yes, it's just us, and right now I'm as happy as can be, and I'd like to share that happiness with you, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Hmm." He pulls Blaine into a long, deep kiss, as the feelings from earlier very quickly resurface. "I don't think I'd mind that at all."


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt sighs and leans back in the water, with Blaine resting against his chest. "Happy Thanksgiving," he murmurs, his eyes closed and hands smoothing over Blaine's shoulders. "I'm thankful for you."

"Same," Blaine says happily, catching hold of his hand and kissing the inside of his wrist. "Very thankful."

"I don't know if I say that enough," Kurt ponders out loud.

"You don't need to. I know."

"Yeah but...I should. I should be more romantic, maybe."

"Because waking me up with butterfly kisses and the promise of a hot bath waiting isn't romantic at all."

"Well it's not really, is it? Not like you, with your flowers and your little love notes."

"Kurt." Blaine turns so his whole body slides against Kurt, and their foreheads rest together. "I love you just as you are," he reassures. "My mom was right. I love your sass, I love your spark. I love that you sometimes order me to take my clothes off the second I walk through the door, but other times you just want to cuddle and watch TV. Romance isn't the grand gestures all the time, it's the little things you do, like folding my pajamas and setting them under the pillow, making me coffee in the morning without asking, meeting me after class. You're perfect, you dumbass. Perfect for me, anyhow."

"Hmm, well thank you, but I still think I should do better."

"I'm not listening to you," Blaine declares, spinning back around. "I don't like it when you doubt yourself. You're totally wonderful in every way, and I know just how much you love me from the way you look at me, and the way you always put me first. I matter to you, and that's all I need to know."

"Are you feeling okay about today?"

"I don't know," Blaine admits. "I really enjoyed last night but...I still need more, you know? I can't just say, 'oh we had a really great night playing cards and everything is fine.' I need to know what made her act like she did. Why did she have an affair in the first place? Did dad do something wrong? Why, when she knew how awful they all were to me, did she tell me to join in and be one of the boys? There must be a reason behind it all, and I need to know."

"You know sometimes, Blaine, the answer really is as simple as that person was being an idiot. There's not always a deep meaning behind everything. There wasn't with me."

"There was though," Blaine argues back, sitting up and turning to face him. "You were insecure, and frightened of being vulnerable."

"But why? Why was I?" Kurt persists. "No one had hurt me so badly that I couldn't love again. It was my head that wouldn't allow me to relax and let go. I had told myself that I was worthless, that I was undeserving of love, and I told myself that it was easier to act like a dick, instead of laying my heart on the line. Maybe your mom had the affair because she felt trapped or whatever, but it was her who did the trapping, not anyone else. Do you see what I'm saying? Am I making any sense?"

"Kind of," Blaine shrugs. "I guess."

"I know you want answers, honey, but I also know that those answers might not be as insightful as you want them to be, and I don't want you to be disappointed when you don't have enough reason to cling to. You, and only you, can decide to forgive your mom when you feel ready. No reason, valid or otherwise, will manage to sway you, that's a decision you need to come to by yourself."

"So you think I should ignore everything that's happened? Carry on as normal?"

"I didn't say that," Kurt tells him, gently taking his hands in his. "I know you want to talk to her some more, and that's fine, but don't spend so long wrapped up in it that you waste all her time here. Last night, when we all relaxed, it was good, right?"

"Yeah."

"So just go with it. If you get a moment to talk, then great, but if not, I wouldn't stress too much."

"Kurt?"

"Mmm?"

"Can I tell you something? Something bad?"

"Blaine, you don't do bad," Kurt laughs. "You're as pure as the driven snow."

"I know I'll never forgive her as long as she's with him."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs, stepping from the bath and handing him a towel. "That's not bad, that's perfectly natural, I would think. But it's also not for you to dictate," he adds with a look. "You realize that, right?"

"Yeah. I know. I just...I don't see her being any part of my family while he's still in the picture."

"You won't ever see him again," Kurt says firmly, frowning as he thinks of Spencer. "I promised you that and I totally meant it."

Blaine lets out a funny little laugh, capturing Kurt in his towel and wrapping it around them both. "I really like it when you get angry," he whispers in his ear. "As long as it's not with me."

"Oh, you're done talking, are you?" Kurt teases, eagerly wrapping his arms around Blaine's waist. "You wanna play now?"

"I want to show you that I'm not as pure as you think I am," Blaine says, letting their towel drop to the floor. "I can be utter, utter filth."

"Blaine Anderson, I demand that you lock that door immediately and bend me over this bathtub," Kurt says quickly. "And if anyone dares to interrupt us, you'll see me angrier than I've ever been."

* * *

><p>Blaine takes Kurt's advice, and he manages to have fun making pumpkin pie with his mom for the first time in years, while on the other side of the kitchen, Kurt and his dad make pecan pie and try not to kill one another in the process.<p>

"Just put it in the damn oven!" Burt cries, throwing his floured hands up in despair. "What are you making it all fancy for?"

"Because look at theirs," Kurt says, nodding his head to where Blaine and Angie are neatly crimping their pie crust. "It looks better than ours."

"So?"

"So they can't win!"

"I wasn't aware it was a competition," a confused Burt replies. He tries to wrestle the pie away from Kurt, but he's having none of it, so he goes over to whine to Blaine instead. "He's being all fancy."

"Mmm," is the only reply he gets, as Blaine artfully cuts some kind of pattern, so he turns to Angie.

"They're so competitive."

"Well...you can't really blame Kurt," Angie reasons kindly. "Our pie is better."

"Hey!" Indignant, Burt huffs back across the kitchen, and starts angrily rolling out the crust again. "Okay Kurt, stand by. We're gonna win this thing."

"Like father like son, huh?" Angie says to Blaine with a smile, and he looks up at her with a grin.

"Totally."

"Funny, because you're so much like Carl as well. I wonder what would have happened if we'd had two? Whether that one would have taken after me?"

"Did you want more?"

"No." Angie stops, reaching out to touch his cheek briefly and leaving a flour handprint in her wake, which she gently rubs away. "You were always enough for me. I liked being able to devote all my time to you. What about you, Burt?" she calls. "Did you want more children?"

"Well, we did, but then Kurt was so...weird, that we decided against it, or rather, I did."

"What?" Kurt shrieks. "I was not weird!"

"You were. You're still weird, in fact. We were busy raising you, and then by the time you got to be two or three, you were wearing pearls and lipstick and rambling on about marrying a prince. I didn't know what to do about that, and then Elizabeth started making noises about wanting more when you got to be about five, and then she got sick, so that was that."

"I was weird?"

"Different, maybe," Burt says, sensing he might have offended his son. "I just...had this urge to protect you, to keep you safe, because I could sense that you were this beautiful, fragile boy who needed shielding from the outside world. Then, when we thought you might benefit from a sibling, your mom couldn't do it. Be thankful, anyway," he says, crushing Kurt in his arms. "That's how we ended up with Blaine."

"Well that's true," Kurt grins.

"I did want brothers," Blaine says quietly. "Then I got them."

"I don't think Spencer's done a bad job," Angie protests weakly. "Raising three boys on his own."

"Don't you?" Burt huffs. "Then we must have very different parenting standards."

"No, I just think that you have very different ideas of what makes a man."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, in Spencer's eyes, being physically strong, good at sports, and not showing any emotion, are all traits that good men should have. With you, it's being able to talk about things, not afraid to show affection. You've taught Kurt and Blaine to love openly and honestly, and they're stronger and happier because of it. To me, they're so much more real men than Spencer's boys could ever be, because they know about respect and love and emotion."

"Oh," Burt says gruffly, finally seizing the pie from Kurt and putting it in the oven. "It's a good thing. I see."

"A very good thing, I think," Angie smiles. "Wouldn't you agree?"

By the time Thanksgiving dinner is finished, Kurt is convinced that Blaine and his mom are as back on track as they can hope to be. Blaine is happy and carefree, Angie is completely entranced by him, and she also gets along well with Kurt and Burt, in fact, she offers to do the cleaning up, but Burt won't have any of it, insisting she relaxes with Blaine while he and Kurt do the work.

"Poor Kurt," Angie says, as Blaine shows her into the den. "I don't think he was too happy."

"Only because he wants to nap under the guise of watching tv," Blaine laughs. "He always falls asleep after eating too much."

"He's getting old," Angie teases. "You know, he's exactly in the middle of us? Eleven years your senior and eleven years my junior."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, Blaine, I'm forty. Most people seem to be my junior nowadays."

Blaine surprises her by sitting next to her on the couch, turning to face her. "I meant him being older than me."

"Oh. Well, no, not really. You've always been very mature. I mean, if you were fourteen and he were twenty five I'd be alarmed, but you're both adults."

"Are you glad you came to visit?"

"Very," Angie confirms, patting his knee. "Are you?"

"Kind of."

"Oh." She stops, taken aback by Blaine's answer, which she had assumed, given how happy he seems, would be an affirmative. "What does that mean?"

"I like this, but it's gonna end, isn't it?"

"I told you I'd visit you in New York for your birthday."

"Yeah but...you're going back to him, and I just can't figure out why."

"I love him, Blaine."

"Why?" he says sadly, his heart sinking at her words. "Why do you love him? How can you love dad, but then love someone like that? I don't get how anyone could love someone who treats them badly."

"Don't you? You still love me, don't you?"

"Yeah, but..."

"Did you ever stop?"

"No, but..."

"So there you go."

"No!" Blaine cries loudly. "It's not the same, and you know it's not."

"Whatever you think, Blaine, about how he treats me, it's not as bad as you're imagining. He's never hit me."

"Makes no difference," Blaine shrugs. "Spencer is a bully, a mean man who thrives on putting other people down. He might not abuse you physically, but god only knows the mental torment you must go through, living with someone like that. I had one year of it and that was enough."

"He is my husband, Blaine," Angie says firmly. "My marriage is my business and no one else's."

"Staying with him won't magically erase the guilt you feel over dad, you know," Blaine snaps.

"No, and burying yourself in Burt's arms doesn't make you a Hummel either," Angie bites back. "I am your mom, Blaine, and you won't speak to me like that."

"You're the woman who gave birth to me," Blaine says angrily, "But nothing more. I have two parents, one named Carl and the other named Burt."

He storms quickly from the den and into the kitchen, where Burt seems to almost be expecting him. "Come on," he says, holding out his arms, and Blaine goes and hides in the comforting embrace that he loves so much, warmed by the feel of Kurt's arms coming around him too.

Blaine mutters something completely incomprehensible, and Burt looks to Kurt, who gives a little kiss into Blaine's hair. "He says he wants Thanksgiving to be over."

"No you don't," Burt tells him, chuckling when he feels Blaine nodding against his chest. "You don't. Now lift your head up and tell me what's going on."

Kurt makes tea while Blaine talks, because he likes to feel useful, and then wonders whether he should take any to Angie or not. He decides against it, and leans against the counter instead, his head resting on his dad's shoulder, as Burt continues to hold Blaine tight.

"You know you both said stupid stuff, right?" Burt asks Blaine, who nods miserably against him. "And you need to apologize."

"I know that, but can I just stay here for a little bit?"

"Sure you can," Burt says, and puts his other arm around Kurt and draws him close too.

He'd never say it to either one of his boys, but he is entirely on Blaine's side in all this. He is a Hummel in his eyes, whether Angie chooses to acknowledge that or not. He knows it's important for Blaine and his mom to have some kind of relationship, and he certainly feels pleased, on the whole, with how these couple of days have gone. It's been nice to see them getting along, and he's come to actually quite like Angie, but Burt Hummel takes family ties very seriously, and he doesn't think he will ever be able to forgive her for the way she so readily abandoned her son in order to pursue her own love life.

Over the years, as a widower with a small child in tow, or just as a single man, Burt has had opportunities to date people, which he has, and also opportunities to take things further and enter into serious relationships with women, which he has not. For a start, he didn't really want to lay his heart on the line like that, not when he knew he would always belong to Elizabeth inside, but mostly, the reason he had steered clear, was Kurt.

Linda, whom he had dated for a good five months, was sweet, funny and smart, but she didn't want children, and when Burt, unable to get a sitter, brought a nine year old Kurt to dinner with them and she'd turned her nose up, that had been the end of that.

Rosalie was shy and quiet, but Burt had really brought her out of her shell, or so everyone said. The trouble was, their time together coincided with Kurt's coming out, and he had needed him more at that time, so Burt had let go.

Mary was great too, until Burt mentioned his son was gay, and then suddenly...not so great, or understanding, and Burt had never dropped anyone so fast.

So for the life of him, Burt cannot figure out why this debacle is still going on, why Angie was putting up the barriers again, and effectively telling Blaine that he wasn't a part of her life in that way.

"Oh."

Burt turns his head at the sound of Angie's voice, to find her standing in the kitchen doorway. "I see."

"You see what?" Burt asks, perhaps a little harshly. "You see me holding my boys? They're upset."

"And I'm not? Blaine called me the woman who gave birth to him, how do you think that made me feel?"

"I know," Burt sighs, acquiescing somewhat, "and I've told him about that. Blaine?"

"I'm sorry," Blaine mumbles. He turns around to face her, but stays close to Burt, one hand on his arm. "You're not just that, really, and I shouldn't have said that. You're more, so much more but... I want this to work," he admits, wiping at his eyes. "I keep telling myself things will never be as they were, but I still can't help but hope. Then you go and say you're going to stay with him, and..."

"I think you're too eager," Kurt interrupts, and he moves to the other side of Blaine, and talks directly to him, closing out everything else. "Baby steps, Blaine. Think how far you've come. Next week, when you're back at college and your mom's at work, you've both got some really great memories to look back on. So much has happened, and so much has changed, that this won't be an overnight fix. Just take things slow and give yourselves time to heal. Sure, there will be rough moments, like now, but overall things are already so much better, don't you think?"

Blaine nods. What he really wants to do, right now, is curl up on his bed with Kurt and cry until he feels better, and for Burt to bring him hot chocolate and cake like he sometimes does. But he's also aware that he's hurt someone who, no matter what, he loves very deeply, and for that he feels bad.

"Kurt's right," he says softly to Angie, who shrugs with tears in her eyes. "He always is, isn't he?"

"Amen," Kurt says quietly, then nudges Blaine toward her and smiles when they hug each other tightly.

"I only have tonight," Angie says sadly. "I really have had a good time, and I know we still need to work on stuff, but can we just...can we just have fun for this evening?"

"Of course we can," Burt says loudly, when Blaine gives a nod. "Boys, go find that trivia set we have."

"No," Kurt moans, "Not trivia. Please!"

"Tough," Burt declares, shoving them both out into the hall. "Go get it, and no sulking when you lose."

He knows that as soon as they get into the den, they'll be in each others arms, so he figures he has a good few minutes to spare. "Well," he says, turning to Angie.

"You think I'm stupid, don't you?" she asks, as she leans against the counter. "For going back to him?"

"Yep." Burt shrugs, then walks over to the fridge, grabbing two beers and handing one to her. "But I also think it's gotta be your decision. If there's one thing I've learned from raising Kurt, it's that if you try and force someone to live their life the way you want, it always backfires."

"I think...I think that's what Spencer might be trying to do to me," Angie admits. "Cutting Blaine out, making cruel jabs about my weight, my hair, my age..."

"Hold up. You're like...slim, and what? Nearly forty?"

"I'm forty now."

"Hardly old," Burt says, astonished. "Why would you want to put your own wife down like that?"

"I don't know," Angie admits. "And this is the part I can't explain to Blaine, because Spencer wasn't always like that. I had an affair with him simply because he made me feel so worthwhile and valued. That isn't to say that Carl didn't, but he was sick, Blaine was busy with school, and my life was just an endless cycle of being a caregiver or a mom. I didn't even feel like a wife anymore, because Carl was so sick and he couldn't...well, he couldn't make me feel like a wife should feel."

"I get ya," Burt says softly, and he puts a sympathetic arm around her shoulders.

"I know it was wrong," she carries on, and she doesn't even try to hide her tears, just lets them fall as she carries on talking. "I know I was the one who messed my perfect life up, it's just that I couldn't see it was perfect at the time. I ruined all the time I had left with Carl, but Spencer made me feel like a million dollars. Now I live with a man who tells me my opinions aren't worthwhile, who expects me to feed him when he demands, pick up after him...you know something? Last night when you gave me a beer? That's the first beer I've had in months, because he never even offers. Once, when I asked for one, he told me drinking beer wasn't becoming in a woman."

"Jesus," Burt says in a low voice. "Angie, I gotta say, this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Actually, I'd kinda like to kill the guy."

"It's not," she agrees sadly. "But I think I need to see if I can make it work, if I can get back the guy that he was."

"I don't think you will," Burt says with a sigh. "Cause I think he's been that guy all along. He doesn't have Blaine to pick on now, so he's turned his attentions to you. I'm sorry, Angie, but the guy is a bully, plain and simple."

* * *

><p>In the silence of the hallway, Kurt gently tugs Blaine back into the den, where he holds him tight and kisses softly under his jaw. "I'm so sorry you had to hear that."<p>

"I'm not going to see her, am I? When she goes back."

"Not for a while, no," Kurt agrees, "I think that she's trying to keep these two halves of her life separate for now. That doesn't mean it's right, but we just have to wait it out, like dad said."

"Kurt? This morning you said you're not romantic."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, you are. You've held me up these last few days, and I don't know what I would have done without your comfort. That's more romantic and loving than any bunch of flowers could be."

"So I never have to buy you flowers again?" Kurt teases lightly. "That's good. I never know what to choose."

"That is absolutely not what it means," Blaine laughs, as Kurt continues to kiss over his neck.

"All gifts are now revoked in favor of comforting words of wisdom."

"I hate you sometimes," Blaine says, and he laughs again as Kurt lies him down on the couch and falls on top of him.

"I know you do," he grins, then finally finds Blaine's lips and gives him a loving, sweet and slow kiss, which, although relatively chaste, still manages to take their breath away and make their heartbeats quicken.

"I'll be okay, you know," Blaine says when they part, his fingers sliding into Kurt's hair. "With you, and dad. I'll be okay."

"I know you will," Kurt whispers, as he holds Blaine close. "And your mom will get there, Blaine, really."

"I hope so."

"Wanna make out a bit before they come in?" Kurt asks with a wicked grin, and Blaine is eager to oblige, never tiring of the feel of Kurt's lips on his.

They are interrupted of course, by Burt's voice booming down the hallway. "Ten second warning, boys! Stop whatever you're up to, cause it's trivia time!"

Kurt breaks the kiss with a growl of displeasure, and reluctantly climbs off Blaine to let him sit up. "You know, all things considered, I'm really looking forward to going back to New York."

"Me too," Blaine says happily. "There's this film noir festival at the Rose, and I thought we could..."

"No, Blaine. You'll be flat on your back with your legs in the air for at least a week, so don't even make any other plans."

"Oh." Blaine looks slightly stunned, before he flushes pink and lets his hand find Kurt's thigh, just as Burt and Angie arrive in the den. "Well...that beats film noir any day."


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt wakes on the morning of his thirtieth birthday to hear the rain slamming against his window. In the cold, gray gloom of a December morning, he feels angry at the entire world, and is not looking forward to the day in the slightest.

He stretches, rolling over to make sure he's not late, and there, sitting on his nightstand, is a cupcake and a note.

_Don't even think about being grumpy today! You're not old, you're still beautiful and I love you. _

_See you soon xxx_

He can't help but smile, but he feels a small pang of regret that he didn't ask Blaine to stay with him last night. Come to think of it, Blaine didn't ask to stay with him either, which leads him to feel annoyed, especially since he had obviously gone to all the trouble of asking Santana to put the cupcake in his room.

He gets out of bed and pulls on his robe, stamping through to the bathroom without even acknowledging Santana in the kitchen. He makes plans. Plans which involve calling Blaine before work to tell him that he should have stayed last night, and that he doesn't want to see or speak to anyone today.

Satisfied that he will spend his entire day making everyone as pissed off as he feels, he finishes in the bathroom, and heads to the kitchen in search of coffee.

"Happy Birthday!"

"Oh!" Kurt is shocked to find not only Santana, but Blaine and his dad sitting at the kitchen table waiting for him. The table is filled with food, and a large pile of gifts are set on the counter alongside a cake and a balloon. "When did you get here?" Kurt asks his dad, who gets out of his seat to hug him tight.

"I flew in last night to surprise you."

"Well you did that alright."

"Happy Birthday."

"Whatever."

Burt lets it slide, having been fully briefed by Blaine about Kurt's anger over turning thirty, and he hands Kurt coffee instead.

"You like your cake?" Santana asks proudly. "Mommy and her baby made it late last night after you'd gone to bed."

"Not your baby," Blaine mutters, but he keeps one eye on Kurt, as he looks at the enormous chocolate cake and then at Blaine.

"You were here last night?"

"Until about two this morning," Blaine says shyly. "It was...we wanted to get it all ready. To surprise you."

"So you were here, yet you didn't stay? You went home and came back again at eight this morning?"

"Seven, actually," Blaine says with a laugh. "So if Santana and I are yawning all day, you'll know why."

"So you'll stay in my apartment with your bestest buddy while I'm asleep in the other room, but you don't stay the night with me?"

"It wouldn't have been a surprise then," Blaine points out. "Besides, you didn't ask me to stay."

"I shouldn't have to!" Kurt cries loudly, slamming his coffee cup down on the counter. "You should know! Ugh, I'm going back to bed."

He storms from the kitchen again, leaving his bewildered boyfriend staring at the space where he was, and wondering what on earth he had done wrong.

"He's such a bastard to you sometimes," Santana says angrily. "I'm gonna go and..."

"No you're not," Burt says as he stands. "I am."

But it is Blaine who stills him with a hand on his arm, and walks into the bedroom, closing the door softly behind him. Kurt lies on the unmade bed, curled up on his side and staring forlornly out the window. He doesn't move when Blaine sits down, and he doesn't respond at all when Blaine's hand rubs over his thigh.

"You need to stop." Blaine says it quietly, yet there is a firmness in his tone that tells Kurt he's not about to back down. "You know I didn't deserve that, and you know you're being unreasonable."

"I don't wanna be thirty," Kurt whispers, and Blaine feels a small pain in his heart when he sees Kurt is crying. "It's like...this is it. Grown up time, and I don't want to be a grown up, Blaine. I'm not ready. You're still a teenager, for goodness sake. What will people say? A thirty year old man, in a relationship with an eighteen year old boy?"

"Since when have you ever cared about what people think?" Blaine asks. He hands Kurt a tissue, who sits up against the pillow and gives a sniff. "This works for us, doesn't it? You're happy?"

"I am," Kurt confirms. "But I just..."

"There are no adults in this world," Blaine tells him, holding his hand up to silence his protest. "Just people trying to make it look like they know what they're doing. What does it matter if you want to..to...to...I don't know, eat peanut butter right from the jar when you're eighty? What does it matter if a college kid prefers to save his money, instead of going out to parties? Or dress nicely instead of lounging around in baggy jeans?"

"I know you're talking about yourself, Blaine."

"Well, maybe, but what I'm saying is, the year on your birth certificate doesn't determine how you must live your life."

"I just don't want everyone celebrating it, you know? Like, oh, Kurt's thirty, let's have a party. I mean, I'll open my gifts."

"Yeah, I'll bet you will."

"And that cake looks good."

"Kurt, this isn't people celebrating that you're thirty, you dumbass. It's the people who love you getting together to celebrate that you were born. I mean, maybe I'm way off the mark here, but I would have thought it was a pretty important day for your dad."

"Oh, shut up."

"Exactly," Blaine grins. "Think back to this time last year. Your relationship with your dad was at an all time low, and we were in a really terrible place. In fact, we had no real warmth between us at all, except the feelings we were trying to hide. I know how drunk you got that day, before lunchtime too, because Santana told me. She wanted to take you out for lunch but you were passed out. Look at your life now, Kurt, how far you've come. Please let us celebrate with you, because we love you and we love seeing you happy."

"I hate you more than ever," Kurt grouches, then falls forward into Blaine's arms and lets himself be held. "I love you so much," he whispers, playing with Blaine's curls and sighing contentedly. "I'm sorry I was mean."

"Don't worry about it. I knew it was coming, and more importantly, I know you didn't mean it, so..."

"Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"I know we say three nights a week, and I know you have to study and stuff, but I'm feeling really low right now, however hard I try. Would you maybe...would you maybe stay with me for a few nights? Just until I feel a little bit stronger."

Blaine squeezes him in his arms before kissing his cheek sweetly. "Of course I will."

Blaine tugs a reluctant and embarrassed Kurt back into the kitchen, but there are no comments made by either Santana or Burt, they all just eat breakfast together as if nothing had happened, and then Santana clears all the plates away, before handing a large package to Kurt.

"Happy Birthday. Appreciate the gift."

"Thank you," he laughs, then unwraps a large throw in a deep navy color with red edging. "Oh wow. This is..." He holds it up to his face, smiling at the feel of it against his skin. "Santana this is gorgeous. Thank you."

"Yeah well, it's big enough for you and lover boy to both fit under," she retorts. "So I don't have to look over when we're watching TV and see those hands wandering."

"Oh hey now!" Blaine objects. "That's not...we... no. We've never done that with you in the room."

"No, but now we can," Kurt says happily, while Blaine tries to hide in the tablecloth. "Thank you," he says to Santana again. "Now, who's next?"

Burt laughs, and sets a large and heavy box down on the table. "Be careful," he warns Kurt as he lifts the lid. "The contents are breakable."

Kurt is confused when, under layers of tissue, he unwraps an entire tea set. The china is an elegant pale blue, with a tiny rose pattern running around the edges of the plates and over the cups. "Cake stand!" he gasps happily, as he lifts it from the box. "Dad, thank you! But uh..."

"Why?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I bought you your first tea set for your fourth birthday. It was all you had been talking about."

"I remember," Kurt smiles. "It was white with pink bunnies on it."

"Yep. You see, back in those days, boys weren't encouraged to have toys like that, you know? So I didn't know what to buy. Your mom said she would take care of it, but I really wanted to do it myself because...well, because I didn't find it easy, raising you, and I wanted to make sure you knew that I loved you, that I cared. So I chose the tea set I liked best, and hoped you wouldn't be disappointed. You weren't," Burt says with a smile, "and we had to play tea parties all damn day. At one point, a handle broke off one of the cups. You cried, but I glued it back on. It was only plastic, and I said to you, I said..."

"You'd buy me a better set when I was thirty," Kurt says quietly.

"You remember that?"

"I do. I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching you fix the cup. You said I might know how to take care of nice things by then."

"Well there ya go then," Burt says gruffly. He is emotional and embarrassed, but he happily accepts the kiss on his cheek and warm hug from Kurt. "And um...we're going out for tea this afternoon, all of us."

"But I have to work," Kurt starts, then looks to Blaine with a grin. "You organized this already, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he admits. "You're not working today. I do have one class though."

"Blaine found this English tea room place in Greenwich village," Burt tells Kurt. "Proper afternoon tea."

"Really?"

"Is that...I didn't think you'd want a party, really," Blaine says nervously.

"I didn't, no," Kurt admits. "And I was kinda worried you'd assume I would."

"I'm glad," Blaine breathes. "I wouldn't know where to start with organizing a party. Can I uh...can I give you my gift now?"

"Not at the breakfast table, Blaine," Santana says quickly. "That's not appropriate at all."

Burt laughs loudly, while Blaine tries to hide again, and Kurt kicks her, but he recovers enough to hand Kurt his gift, and his eyes go wide when he unwraps an elegant cross body briefcase in a dove gray. "Blaine!" he shrieks. "Is this….oh my god it is. It is! It's Hermes! Are you out of your mind?"

"It's uh...it's last season," Blaine admits. "Or maybe the one before. I couldn't afford a..."

But he is cut off by Kurt's mouth on his in a firm kiss. "I love you," he says with a massive grin. "I love this. I've never owned an Hermes bag. Never, and oh my god this is amazing! Thank you."

"You're welcome," Blaine laughs. "Now I really have to get to class so...enjoy your morning, and I'll be back here soon, okay?"

"You can't have cake before you go?" Kurt asks with a little pout, and Blaine shakes his head. "But I wanted you to have cake."

"Later," he says as he stands. "Bye everyone."

"Bye baby. Momma misses you already."

"I will hit you before this day is out," Blaine tells Santana, but he kisses her cheek nonetheless, and does the same to Burt. "Kurt? C'mere a second."

Kurt follows him out into the hallway, out of sight, and he's pleasantly surprised when he is pulled into a deep and passionate kiss. It's all tongue and teeth and hands framing faces, and it's entirely perfect. Kurt knows he lets out an audible whimper when they part, but that means Blaine kisses him again, so it's a win.

"Don't go to class," he says weakly, when Blaine's hand slides down the back of his pajama pants. "Let's leave, right now, and go to your dorm. No one will notice we're missing for a while."

"No, but Brandon will certainly notice us arriving," Blaine laughs. "He doesn't have class until later."

"Damn Brandon and damn his schedule."

"I know, but I really do need to go to class. I was only going to say, about the cake, that I wanna feed that to you later."

"What?"

"It was all I could think about when I was making it," Blaine whispers. "It's the most richly decadent chocolate cake and, my god, I wanna feed it to you, and eat it off your naked body."

"Oh my... Blaine? Is this some kind of sexual awakening you're having?"

"Maybe," he grins, then glances at his watch. "Ugh. Damn. I have to go. I love you, okay? I love you to the moon and back again several hundred times."

He kisses Kurt again, then pulls open the door, and all Kurt can say in response is, "Cake."

* * *

><p>As the day moves on, Kurt realizes that, actually, it's quite wonderful to celebrate the day you were born. That's how he prefers to think of it, anyway, rather than turning thirty. He goes for coffee with his dad, and the rain clears, meaning they can walk their way to the coffee shop in the freezing cold morning, his arm linked through Burt's as they talk easily. After that, they go to meet Blaine after his class, because that's Kurt's favorite thing to do whenever he can. He's even been known to take his lunch break really late in the day, so he can rush across town to arrive breathless, just in time for Blaine's class to finish at three o'clock.<p>

He never tells Blaine he's coming, unless they have a pre-arranged date. He just stands and waits for the sight of his face cracking into a wide grin, as he says goodbye to his friends and rushes into Kurt's embrace. Their time together is extremely brief when Kurt has to return to the office, but Blaine usually accompanies him on his journey back, and sneaks in a few kisses before they part.

Today though, he knows that he gets Blaine by his side for the rest of the day, and really, nothing could be better. It suddenly occurs to him that he once thought he'd get fed up with Blaine's company if they were in a relationship, and it's all he can do not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of his thoughts all that time ago. What was he so scared of? The reverse has proven over and over to be true; he simply can't get enough.

"Hey beautiful," he says with a smile, when Blaine's arms come around him at last. "Good class?"

"Yeah. We're looking at pistons and how they...eh, whatever, kiss me," Blaine grins, and pulls Kurt close.

"Standing right here, buddy," Burt chuckles, when he realizes Blaine hasn't even noticed.

"Oh! Dad. Sorry. Right. Of course you..."

"We went to get coffee," Kurt laughs, kissing his cheek and taking his hand. "Then I figured..."

"I love it when you meet me," Blaine admits. "But I do need to go home to get some stuff if I'm staying for a few days."

"Sure. We can do that."

"Ah, you two do that, I'm going to head back to the hotel and change," Burt says, ruffling Blaine's hair just to annoy him. "I'll meet you at the tea shop place thingy."

"Okay," Blaine says brightly, then glances at Kurt, as they both realize the opportunity they've inadvertently been given. "Wanna run?"

"You betcha."

It's perhaps a brisk, urgent walk, rather than a run, but they're quickly back at Blaine's dorm, breathless and with red cheeks and noses from the cold. They sign Kurt in quickly, both huffing impatiently at the clerk, who diligently checks his ID despite having seen him several times by now.

"For gods sake just...hurry up," Kurt moans, and the clerk looks up and eyes him suspiciously.

"Why?"

"Because...uh..."

"Kurt really needs to borrow a book," Blaine says quickly, before Kurt can give details, then snatches his ID back and they run up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator.

"This is insane," Kurt giggles, as Blaine fumbles for his key.

"I know, but fun, right?"

"Totally," Kurt agrees. "I'm always desperate for you, but stolen moments are even more thrilling."

"This doesn't mean it's not on for tonight, right?" Blaine says, as they walk swiftly down the corridor. "I mean, we can do it now and then again tonight?"

"Hell yes."

"Good." He gives a furtive glance up and down the hallway, but it's silent in the middle of the day, and he pins Kurt to the wall and kisses him fiercely. "Hot," he murmurs, tugging Kurt's scarf open to kiss in the hollow of his throat. "So hot."

He throws open the door to his room and they stumble inside, kissing passionately and hastily unbuttoning their heavy winter coats at the same time.

"Totally still here," a voice says, and Kurt almost falls over when Blaine steps away quickly.

"Brandon! Hi!"

"Hi Blaine. Kurt. Oh, happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks," Kurt mutters, refraining from exploding in a desperate rage.

"So, you got any plans?"

"Well, we did….."

"Oh. Um...sure, I can go," Brandon says, gathering his textbooks and backpack. "I'll head to the library."

"Thanks," Kurt says, but Blaine is quick to intervene.

"No really, that's fine, Brandon. It's um...I just needed to grab some clothes, actually. I'm gonna stay at Kurt's for a few days."

"Oh," he says, settling down again much to Kurt's dismay. "Thats cool. When you coming back?"

"Monday? Maybe? I don't know. Not before, anyway."

"Sweet. Cause I've met this girl and..."

"Yes, Brandon," Blaine laughs. "That's fine."

"So he can get laid but we can't?" Kurt storms, when they leave the dorm again.

"It's not like that, is it?" Blaine laughs. "I'm coming to stay with you. What do you think we're gonna be doing at night?"

"I know but...it's like...predictable. Go to bed, make love, fall asleep."

"Well, maybe we'll just have to make it back to your apartment in record time," Blaine says, glancing at his watch. "We have...an hour….before we have to meet dad."

"Can we run again?"

"Totally."

But Santana sitting in the living room with three girlfriends kind of kills the mood, and they end up trailing despondently to the bedroom, and closing the door behind them. "Every damn time," Kurt moans.

"I know."

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Kurt announces sadly, and he wanders away to the bathroom, leaving Blaine to sit on the bed and check his emails and study program.

They swap when Kurt returns, and Blaine makes sure to take all his clothes into the bathroom with him, so he doesn't have to walk back through the apartment in a robe and risk being seen by one of Santana's friends. After being in New York for four months, he's finally gotten comfortable enough to let Santana see him in his pajamas or robe, but the thought of anyone else doing so disturbs him greatly, so he emerges from the bathroom again in his maroon suit, which he knows Kurt likes.

"Oh my baby..." Santana starts, then quickly corrects herself with a glare from Blaine. "You look good," she says with a smile. "Very..."

"Hot," one of her friends finishes, and he all but squeaks as he runs back into the bedroom.

"Jesus Christ," Kurt exclaims, when he closes the door. "Blaine..."

"Is it okay?" he asks fearfully.

"It's better than okay." Kurt, who is only wearing briefs, walks over to him and straightens his bow tie a touch. "You look divine."

"So do you," Blaine admits, then boldly lets his hand cup Kurt through his briefs. "Oh god Kurt..."

The tension shatters as they kiss heatedly, with Kurt's briefs quickly pushed to the floor. "Yes," Kurt moans weakly, as Blaine moves lower.

"Shh," he laughs, looking up. "You're leaning against the door."

In his wildest dreams, Kurt would never have imagined that Blaine would be the type to give him a hot blow job with just a door between them and an apartment full of people, but he doesn't even freeze when Santana's friends start to leave, chattering loudly as they walk right past the door.

Kurt bites his lip so hard he can taste blood, and he knows he's pulling hard on Blaine's hair, which he's just carefully styled, but he really is past caring, and his head falls back against the door with a thump. "I'm gonna come," he whispers, as Blaine goes faster. "I'm gonna..."

"We need to leave!" Santana yells. "Otherwise we'll be late."

But neither one hear her as Kurt spills into Blaine's mouth and tries his best to keep quiet. "Fuck," he whispers, one arm bracing himself against the wall, the fingers of his other hand massaging Blaine's scalp.

Blaine pulls off, looking up with a smile before giving a kiss to Kurt's thigh. "You need to get dressed."

"What? But you..."

"It's okay," he says with a shrug. "I just..." He stands, and contemplates saying nothing, but then thinks better of it. "Am I predictable? I try not to be."

"What? No." Kurt pulls his underwear on and grabs his pants, then drops them back on the bed as it hits him. "Oh Blaine! No! No, I didn't mean it like that I just...please, please believe me. I wasn't saying we were predictable, or you, I was just...I don't know, annoyed, I guess, because I was horny and wanted to be naked. Oh Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"Okay."

"Really?" Kurt asks worriedly. "I need you to be okay, because I totally didn't mean it that way. You're not predictable. Well, you are, but in the best possible way. I can rely on you, and know that you'll always be there for me...but that's great, right? We're great, me and you, aren't we?"

"I'd kinda like to think so."

"I love that we can go to bed and make love before falling asleep," Kurt says, as he buttons his shirt before taking him in his arms. "I love that you're here with me. Please...I just said that as an offhand remark. I didn't even think."

"Okay. Cause...it's like...I worry about that, you know."

"I know you do, but really, there's no need." He watches carefully as Blaine moves to the mirror and restyles his hair. He knows he's not okay from the slump in his shoulders, and the way in which he doesn't look back at Kurt in the mirror, so Kurt goes to him, sliding his arms over his shoulders and kissing his neck. "Blaine please. I love you. You're dependable, you make me feel safe, but predictable? Sexually? Not at all."

Blaine turns and leans against the dresser, giving a small nod. "How many others were there?" he asks quietly. "Before me?"

Kurt sits heavily on the bed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Blaine, please."

"It won't make any difference," he says quickly, kneeling on the floor and holding Kurt's hand. "I just want you to tell me."

"I can't."

"I won't be mad."

"No, I can't tell you, because I don't know," Kurt admits, his face flooding with color. "More than a hundred? I think so, anyway. I had ten years of promiscuity before I met you, Blaine. I don't know what else to say."

Blaine reaches out, cupping his cheek tenderly. "It makes me sad to think that's all you thought you were worth," he whispers, his eyes shining with tears.

"They were all predictable," Kurt says, reaching up to rest his hand over Blaine's. "Do you get what I'm saying? It was always the same, whatever we did or didn't do, it was always deeply unsatisfactory and not what I needed at all. You...us...together..it's everything I ever dreamed of, in and out of the bedroom."

"I get it," Blaine says, and he leans close and gives his lips a gentle kiss. "And I'm going to spend the rest of my days making sure you know how much you really are worth."

"Ah, you make me feel like a million dollars anyway." Kurt laughs softly, and rests their foreheads together, suddenly wishing he could spend the whole afternoon in Blaine's arms instead.

"Oh well, I won't bother taking you out tonight then."

"You're taking me out?" Kurt asks excitedly. "Where?"

"Um, well..." Blaine breaks off nervously, and gets up off the floor to sit next to Kurt on the bed. "I got us tickets for the ballet."

"The ballet? Really?" Kurt looks astounded and then laughs, making Blaine frown in confusion.

"Why are you laughing? What's...what's funny?"

"You know me better than anyone, I swear," Kurt says, and kisses his cheek. "If you'd given me those tickets a year ago, I would have thrown them back in your face and said no way, even though I would have really wanted to go."

"I wouldn't have given them to you a year ago," Blaine points out. "You were a rude and stubborn ass."

"True." They both laugh, and their moment of worry is forgotten, as Kurt quickly finishes dressing. "What are we seeing?"

"Sleeping Beauty. I mean, I know we know the story, but I've never watched a ballet before so...I figured it'd be best to see something we could understand. I got us a box," he adds proudly, holding Kurt's jacket for him to slide his arms inside.

"You did? I'm impressed. Can I go down on you in the box?"

"No you cannot!" Blaine cries, then shakes his head in despair. "Kurt Hummel, whatever will I do with you?"

Quick as a flash Kurt turns, pulling Blaine close and whispering in his ear. "Anything you want."

* * *

><p>Their afternoon tea is wonderful, and plenty of laughs are had at Burt's expense, as he tries to be graceful and refined, and moans about the size of the sandwiches. From there Santana and Burt depart, with Santana managing to convince Burt that he would like to look at the Christmas displays on fifth avenue. She also adds, not so quietly, to Blaine, that she is sleeping over at a friend's house, so that he and Kurt can get loud.<p>

Of course, Blaine blushes profusely and tries to protest his innocence, but Kurt tugs him away to the subway and onto the ballet.

"That was wonderful!" Kurt says at the end, as they make their way to the exit. "Don't you agree?"

"Amazing."

"So uh...those male dancers...they don't wear any underwear," Kurt says casually, and Blaine bursts out laughing.

"They certainly don't."

"I noticed you seemed particularly entranced by that blond guy, the one who played the prince."

Blaine laughs again and ducks his head. He's slightly embarrassed, but then he knows Kurt had been looking too. "He uh...well...I couldn't help it," he protests. "He had quite a nice ass. Not as nice as yours though."

"It better not be," Kurt replies haughtily, but there's a twinkle in his eye and Blaine knows he is playing.

"Of course not. Until I met you I'd never had the urge to bite someone's backside before."

Kurt laughs and turns to him, paying the busy crowd around them no heed. "You're not gonna bite my ass."

"I am," Blaine says smugly. "And when you least expect it, too."

He takes Kurt's hand as they step outside, a frown immediately creasing Kurt's features. "It's snowing."

"Ooh yay!" Blaine is ecstatic. It must have fallen hard in the time they were inside, because the sidewalks are all covered in a dusting of white, and it's still falling heavily. "C'mon, let's walk home."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Kurt cries. "We'll get a cab. I hate snow."

"Snow is magical," Blaine says happily, leading Kurt down the steps of the theatre.

"Snow in New York is disgusting," Kurt grouches, as Blaine pulls him along the street. "It turns gray and slushy the moment it hits the ground."

"Catch it on your tongue," Blaine encourages, tipping his head back and opening his mouth wide.

"Oh my god you really are a puppy," Kurt shrieks, laughing in spite of himself.

"Come on," Blaine says with a grin. "It's really fun."

"I'm thirty," Kurt moans, but he opens his mouth anyway, and finds himself laughing at how ridiculous they must look, walking through the dark, cold night with their tongues hanging out to catch snowflakes.

Together, their walk home seems so much quicker than the forty five minutes it takes. Yes, they're soaking wet, but they're wrapped up warm and arm in arm, their breath fanning out in little white clouds as they laugh at nothing in particular. Kurt reluctantly lets go of Blaine, as they walk through the small park opposite the apartment building, and he turns to look up at the stars while Blaine ties his shoelace.

"Hey, Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

He turns and is met with a face full of snow, as a cackling Blaine runs as far away as he can, and tries to hide behind the thinnest tree known to man.

"You bastard!" Kurt shrieks, scooping up as much snow as he can. "I can still see you, you fool. You're about three foot wider than that tree."

"Hey!" Blaine objects, stepping out into the open. "Three foot?"

"Hmm, maybe four," Kurt says, then launches the snow in the general direction of Blaine, but fails miserably and falls over instead.

The ensuing snowball fight has them shrieking and screaming around the tiny park, much to the annoyance of cold and wet New Yorkers trying to make their way home, but Blaine and Kurt don't care. Eventually, Kurt makes a bid for freedom and dashes across the road, while Blaine chases after, pelting him with snowballs, before catching him in the doorway to their building, and pinning him against the door.

They are breathless, red cheeked from the cold and exhilaration, their eyes sparkling with excitement. "My birthday boy," Blaine whispers, rubbing his nose against Kurt's. "How I love you."

"You have made this the best birthday ever," Kurt says softly, his arms wrapping around Blaine's waist. "In fact, you've made this entire year the best ever."

"Gonna kiss you now," Blaine says with an impish grin, and Kurt bites his lip for a moment before he gives in and smiles.

"Please do."

Blaine teases, giving Kurt the lightest of kisses before pulling back, making Kurt growl and tug him into a passionate kiss, which has them moaning into one another's mouths. Blaine's hands slide into Kurt's wet hair, displacing the remainder of the snow as they kiss heatedly.

Kurt almost seems to buckle under Blaine's touch, and he's grateful he's against the wall when he feels Blaine's tongue brushing against his lips. He relishes everything. The way Blaine's thumbs rub over his earlobes, the way he can feel just the edge of his teeth as they kiss, the way Blaine breathes in sharply when Kurt kisses back just as eagerly.

And Blaine doesn't stop, even when he breaks the kiss with a gasp, it is only to trail kisses along Kurt's jaw until he can bite softly at his earlobe. "Upstairs, tiger. You're mine."

"Oh my god," Kurt moans weakly, and though he really, really wants to move upstairs, he also needs to kiss him again, and so his mouth, hot and wanting, finds Blaine's again.

"Excuse me," a voice says, as the building door opens. "Sorry. Oh, you two again, hello."

"Brian, right?" Kurt asks, and the man nods. "Good to see you again," he smiles, unable to be embarrassed when he's busy floating on cloud nine.

"You too," Brian smiles, sidestepping them awkwardly. "You know, my husband and I used to kiss fervently in darkened doorways too," he says with a smile. "Takes me back."

He walks away before either Kurt or Blaine can comment, but his nostalgia makes them both smile, as they realize that one day, that will be them. "I wonder where Brian goes so late at night?" Blaine muses, as they climb the stairs. "I often see him when I'm leaving to go back to my dorm."

"Work? I don't know," Kurt says, unlocking the apartment door. "So you want hot chocolate?"

"I want you," Blaine says simply, kicking the door closed behind him and grabbing Kurt around the waist.

A trail of wet clothes marks their path into the living room, and they don't even bother with lights, the hall lamp casting a dim glow as Blaine leads Kurt to the couch and makes him kneel on it.

"What...what are you?..." Kurt starts, but he gasps loudly in pleasure at the feel of Blaine's tongue on him, and he quickly pushes back, seeking more. "Oh fuck yes," he cries, whimpering again when Blaine's hands massage him, stretching him wider. "Oh my god. You're gonna wreck me. Please wreck me, please."

"All in good time," Blaine whispers, and then suddenly his teeth clamp down, making Kurt yelp.

"Jesus!" He stops a moment and looks back over his shoulder, to where a laughing Blaine kneels on the floor looking very pleased with himself. "I hate you. Now get your tongue back where it's supposed to be."

Blaine is more open and unguarded than Kurt has ever seen, taking the initiative and not letting go, and Kurt submits happily, as Blaine keeps him on all fours and pushes inside.

"Hotter than hot chocolate," Blaine helpfully observes, which has Kurt snorting into a cushion. He gets serious when Blaine starts to move though, because he moves faster, deeper and harder than Kurt has known from him before, his body draped over him so he can feel his breath on his neck.

"You...fuck...love...you..." he pants, and Kurt reaches back to rub the back of Blaine's neck.

"You too Blaine, oh _Blaine_."

"Turn around," he commands, pulling out for Kurt to roll over.

He feels vulnerable, with his legs pushed back to his shoulders as Blaine slams into him again and again, but in the best possible way, like there is no more barriers between them. Leaning down, Blaine pauses a moment to give the most gentle of kisses and a bright smile, as if he can feel and sense it too.

He picks up his pace once more, his body flushed and sweaty as he grips Kurt's thighs hard. "Kurt," he moans brokenly, and wraps a hand around him. "Kurt you just..." but he doesn't get to finish, as they reach their climax together, with Blaine pushing as deep as he can for an orgasm that seems never ending. He eventually pulls back with a shudder, when he suddenly notices the cold air on his skin.

Kurt keeps his eyes closed, still breathing hard, but gradually a blissful smile comes over his face, which only gets wider when Blaine tugs him to lie on top of him.

"We totally had sex on your couch," Blaine whispers, with a kiss into his hair. "Santana is going to kill us."

"She never needs to know."

"Oh she'll know. It's that Mexican third eye she has."

"You know that's not actually real, right?"

"Of course," Blaine says, though he doesn't sound entirely convinced. "We should move to bed."

"Hmm, we should," Kurt agrees, but he cuddles tighter into Blaine's arms. "I love you."

"Love you too."

"This is pretty perfect, isn't it?"

Blaine smiles up at the ceiling, running his fingers up and down Kurt's spine. "Just us, like this? Yeah." They are silent and still, with Blaine watching the snow still falling outside, and Kurt with his eyes closed, his head resting contentedly on Blaine's chest. "Oh!" Blaine says, suddenly remembering. "Cake. We didn't have cake."

Kurt gives a sleepy laugh, pulling the throw Santana gave him over their naked bodies. "I'll wake you up with it in the morning."


	8. Chapter 8

In the months that follow, a lot of things change, but Kurt and Blaine's strong and loving relationship continues. Kurt has to work long hours in the rush up to Christmas, but his reward is over a week off work, which he spends back in Ohio with Burt and Blaine.

The New Year sees Blaine turning nineteen, and of course, the anniversary of his dad's passing. He can't fly back to Ohio this time though, but Kurt cooks him dinner that evening, and they spend a long time talking about all the memories he has.

Angie Lane is true to her word and comes to New York the day of Blaine's birthday, which is conveniently a Saturday. Burt flies in too, and along with Santana they all go out for dinner that night.

It is a happy occasion, and Blaine is thankful, but it's the Sunday that he spends just with Kurt and his dad that he likes the best, and of course the night time when he is in Kurt's arms.

Their plan of three nights a week together sometimes holds, and sometimes it doesn't. Blaine learns to be more relaxed about it; especially since Brandon has a new girlfriend, who he likes to invite to sleep over whenever Blaine isn't there.

He likes studying at Kurt's apartment too. Whether Santana and Kurt are home doesn't bother him. He likes the warm and welcoming feel of the place, and being able to spread out at the large table. Quite often he would settle down opposite Santana, who was now studying business management and PR at community college, and many hours would pass in a happy silence, before Kurt would come home from work and they would all have dinner together.

Kurt is happy too. His job is hard work, with long hours and tight deadlines, but it's totally worth all the effort. In many ways, the amount of time he was spending in the office was a good thing, because it gave Blaine the time he needed to study, and meant that the time they had together could be spent on dates, or just relaxing and watching TV.

New York Fashion week in February proves to be their biggest obstacle, but Blaine and Santana realize just from the build up the week before, that total avoidance of Kurt will be the smartest move. Any time Kurt does spend in the apartment that week, Santana spends out of it, and then, on the Sunday morning when it's all over, and Kurt has managed to sleep for ten hours, he wakes up to find Blaine has arrived to cook him breakfast, and he settles down again.

As winter gives way to spring, Kurt finds himself thinking about him and Blaine more and more. He can't deny how eager he is for their future together to start. Their relationship has been going strong for fifteen months by the time April arrives, and on a rare day working from home, when Blaine is in class and Santana is reading on the couch, he makes his move.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure." Santana puts her book down and sits up, surprised when Kurt sits next to her, rather than on the other couch like he usually does.

"It's about Blaine."

"You want him to move in, don't you?"

Kurt ducks his head with a shy smile. "Yeah."

"That's fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I'm gonna move out."

"Oh, Tana, no," Kurt says quickly. "That wasn't what I was asking at all."

"I know," she says with a shrug. "But I feel like I should."

"No! I feel terrible."

"Really Kurt, it's fine," Santana tells him. "There are three girls at college looking for a roommate for their brownstone."

"But..."

"I'll still be here," she says with a smile. "Momma needs to take care of her baby."

"I love how he repeatedly asks you not to call him that, and yet you carry on regardless."

"Pah," she scoffs. "He loves it. He practically purrs when I pet him."

"Blaine's not a cat, he's a puppy," Kurt snaps, but he quickly changes the subject before Santana can quiz him about it. "I'm not kicking you out, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do, but really, you and Blaine...you're there. You're in that place. It's right that you live together and it's right that you live together alone."

"You think we're there?" Kurt asks, seizing on her words. "You think we're ready?"

"Yes, why, don't you?"

"Well, yes, but I'm worried Blaine won't."

"Oh he will, trust me," Santana laughs, kissing his cheek. "Now I'm gonna head to class, and I'll talk to Carla while I'm there about moving in. Ask him, Kurt, he won't say no."

* * *

><p>Kurt achieves very little work all day. Instead, he spends the day planning a little speech in his head, and looking at soft furnishing ideas on Pinterest. He knows Blaine will want to change a few things if he moves in, and that's totally fine, as long as they're changes to Kurt's specifications.<p>

He also spends a long time rearranging his closet, before realizing it's quite an impossible task, and that he should just tell Blaine he has to buy another one for all of his clothes. After that he takes a shower, replies to a few emails, and waits for the intercom to buzz.

Blaine knows something is up the second he walks in the room and Kurt doesn't kiss him, just sits at the kitchen table looking pale.

"What's up?" he asks, sitting down next to him. "Are you sick?"

"We're okay, aren't we? Me and you?"

"Yeah," Blaine says slowly. "Why? What's happened?"

"Are you happy?"

"You know I am, but right now I'm kinda worried about you. You look a little...well, like you're about to faint."

"I love you, Blaine."

"Good. I love you too."

"And I want to be with you forever."

"I know that," Blaine grins, taking ahold of his hand.

"Do you...do you want that too?"

"Oh come on," Blaine laughs. "You know I do! Kurt, why are you doubting all of a sudden? Isn't my word enough for you?"

"No. I mean, yes, yes it is, but I'm not doubting. I um..." He takes a deep breath, feeling inexplicably close to tears, and also more nervous than he has ever known. "I wondered if you'd like to move in. Or get a place together, if you wanted. Somewhere else. Or stay here, it doesn't matter which. Just us, though. You...and me. Us. Living together."

"Yes."

"Just us. Wait. What?" Kurt's eyes go wide, and he clutches Blaine's hands tightly. "What did you just say?"

"Yes," Blaine replies, grinning brightly. "I'd love to move in here. I love this apartment and I love you."

"You...wow. Okay. Just...wow." Kurt surprises himself with a sudden burst of tears, tears which are entirely happy but completely unexpected, and he happily lets Blaine pull him into his arms, holding him tight.

"This is like...the best thing ever," he tells Kurt happily. "We can...wait a minute, just us? No Santana?"

"She uh...she thinks we should live alone. I love her, and I'll begrudgingly admit that she's been an excellent roommate but...well, I'm selfish. I want you all to myself. I didn't ask her to leave," Kurt adds quickly. "She offered."

"Well, I mean, I would've said yes either way, but...yeah," and this time Blaine's grin is even bigger. "Just us. Amazing."

"I was thinking you could move in after vacation?" Kurt asks him.

"Well...the only plan I really had was to go back to Ohio for a couple of weeks to work with dad, then we're road tripping, right?"

"Yes."

"And I have exams first, so it kinda makes sense for me to stay in my dorm for the final few weeks of the semester, even though that kills me to say," Blaine laughs. "So we're in agreement. I'll move in just before the new semester starts."

"Oh my god, Blaine," Kurt says, all wide eyed wonderment as it suddenly hits him. "We're really doing this. We're really gonna live together. We're gonna be domesticated."

"We're going to pay bills, and choose cable companies," Blaine says, completely elated.

"We're going to clean the apartment, and do laundry together."

"Oh my god!" Blaine cries, grabbing Kurt's hands excitedly. "We're gonna go grocery shopping together!"

"We're gonna be naked all the time and have tons of sex!"

Blaine laughs, standing easily with Kurt in his arms and he kisses him hard. "Starting right now."

* * *

><p>Their summer moves quickly. Blaine finishes his first year of college, passing with ninety eight percent, which Kurt is thrilled by and he is mortified about, promising himself he will do better next year. An argument ensues, lasting well into the early hours of the morning, and it is only resolved when Santana climbs into their bed, and refuses to move until they both stop being dumb.<p>

Blaine flies home in the middle of June, and though he misses Kurt immeasurably, he loves going to work each day with Burt, and knowing that he is saving money for when he moves in with Kurt.

For Kurt, work is relatively quiet, meaning that he is able to take a week to work from Ohio, which he does, and then two weeks off entirely, during which time they all hit the road in Bessie once more. They drive to Maine, stopping in various places along the way, before they hit Portland for four days.

It is here that Angie surprises Blaine, having been asked by Burt to join them. Blaine hasn't seen her since his birthday in January, and their phone or email contact has been sparse. As always, it takes a while for them to get back on an even keel, but when they do it works well, and Blaine seems to be happy in her company.

Angie doesn't tell anyone she lied in order to come, that she had told Spencer she had a training course to attend for work, because she knew he wouldn't let her leave otherwise. She knows that even someone as gruff and masculine as Burt, would scoff at the very notion of ever telling a woman what she was or wasn't allowed to do, and she also knows that if she mentions it, they'll be on her case to leave him once more, so she doesn't mention her life in Baltimore at all. She simply spends time with her son and his family, enjoys their company, and then cries for the entire flight home as she laments all her losses once more.

Kurt, Blaine and Burt drive Bessie back to New York, where Burt hands over a small fortune to keep her in a private parking lot for a few days while Blaine officially moves in, and Burt is on hand to help.

There is no doubt or hesitancy on either part, but when Blaine walks into the bedroom to find Kurt has moved a whole shelf of books, and is now carefully unpacking his model airplanes and setting them in place, Blaine knows he is home.

"This is our place," he says quietly, in awe of how it sounds. "This is where we live."

"Blaine and Kurt's place," Kurt grins, turning to take him in his arms. "I have a kind of welcome gift for you actually, if you'd like it?"

"Dad's only fixing the tap in the kitchen," Blaine says worriedly. "It's not..."

"No, a gift," Kurt laughs. "Believe me though, that type of gift is coming your way later."

"Oh." Blaine laughs, embarrassed. "Well in that case, yes, I'd like my gift, but I didn't get you anything."

"You moved in," Kurt points out. "So here. Have a key," he says, dropping one into his palm. It is on a fancy leather key ring holding a solid silver letter B, which Blaine smiles at.

"You should get a K," he says, smoothing his thumb over it. "So we match."

"Uh...well..."

Blaine looks up, letting his hand slide around Kurt's waist. "You did already, didn't you?"

"I did, yeah."

They laugh, and Blaine draws Kurt close, kissing behind his ear. "Thank you, it's beautiful."

"No that's not it, that's not the gift," Kurt says, suddenly remembering. He breaks away and reaches under the bed, handing Blaine a small gift bag. "Here."

It is another model airplane kit, which makes Blaine smile when he realizes Kurt must've gone into a store and bought this, and what an ordeal that would have been for him.

"You're damn right it was," Kurt says, and Blaine realizes he's spoken aloud. "The guy was all like 'what ones does he have?' And I'm all like 'I don't know. Airplanes. War type ones.' But he was meaning which type of kit do you use, so I snuck a photo when you were still in your dorm and had gone to the bathroom. I don't know...is it right? Do you have that one?"

"I don't, no," Blaine says softly, still staring at the box. "It's a Boeing Flying Fortress. I wanted one. It was on my list but then dad..." he trails off, blinks back his tears, and looks up with a smile. "Is this for us to make together?"

"If you promise to wear your glasses," Kurt says with a wink, but Blaine doesn't catch on.

"Oh, I need my glasses, yeah, because the components are so tiny. But you'll make it with me?"

"Well, I didn't buy it for you to make while I watch TV," Kurt sighs. "Of course it's for us to make together. I thought it would be fun. But if you ever, ever, tell anyone I spend my evenings making model airplanes, I'll..."

"You're living with a geek now, Kurt," Blaine teases happily, backing him toward the bed. "Any credibility you had left has been totally and utterly destroyed." He lies Kurt down on the bed, falling on top of him and grinding down lightly, scraping his teeth down his neck.

"I think," Kurt gasps out weakly, "I think I might be totally okay with that."

* * *

><p>They have two weeks before Blaine starts his new semester at NYU. Two weeks during which they barely emerge from the apartment unless absolutely necessary. Kurt does have to go into the office a few times, but he knows that Blaine is at home waiting for him, and this proves to be wholly distracting, so he usually takes off as soon as he can, running back home just to be able to work there instead, while Blaine sits next to him at the table, reading books on some kind of engineering practices that Kurt doesn't even try and understand.<p>

Tina and Mike are their first house guests, coming to stay for a weekend, which Blaine is excited for and Kurt rather reluctant.

"It will be fun. They like you."

"Mike likes me. She doesn't."

"She has a name, and Tina likes you perfectly well, she just found it hard when you were being a bit of an ass."

"A bit of an ass?" Kurt finishes drying the dishes, and hangs the dishtowel on the rail, as Blaine stacks the plates neatly back in the cupboard. "Blaine, I was horrible. I think that's my problem. She still thinks I'm like that, and I don't want anyone to think I'm like that."

"So prove her wrong. I'm telling you, Tina is a good person, she'll soon come to realize that we're happy together."

And she does. They arrive Friday night, and by the time they've shared pizza and a few beers, Tina can clearly see what Mike always tells her, that Blaine and Kurt are meant to be. It's the little things, like the way Kurt lets his fingers brush along Blaine's shoulders when he walks past him sitting on the couch. The way Blaine starts talking enthusiastically about his college work when Mike asks, then obviously worries he's being too nerdy and looks to Kurt, who gives a small wink of encouragement. When Mike also asks Blaine about his mom, Tina notices how Kurt shifts just a little bit closer, and loosely holds his hand, just letting him know he's there.

Tina's biggest fear, that Kurt maybe didn't treat Blaine well, is proven to be entirely unfounded, and she warms to him totally, even more so when he suggests a game of scrabble.

"Cock," he says proudly, laying his tiles down while Blaine chokes on his beer.

"You can't put that!"

"I can. It's a word."

"I know it's a word but….oh, nevermind," Blaine sighs, holding his head in his hands, while Mike laughs and pats his shoulder. "Tina, your turn."

Tina slowly and carefully sets her tiles across the bottom of Kurt's word, looking up with a smug smile. "Sucker."

"I knew I liked you!" Kurt cries happily. "Cock sucker!"

"Seriously?" Mike asks Tina, who shrugs and looks pleased with herself. "You're a guest in another person's house and you turn a game of scrabble into this?"

"Why not? It's a word."

"I give up," Mike moans, and Blaine nods sympathetically. "I really do."

They set out early the next day, ready to explore Manhattan, and it is then that Tina realizes that however sweet and loving Kurt might be toward Blaine, there is still a fiery side to him that you really don't want to uncover.

"Wouldn't it be funny if we bumped into Jackson?" Tina asks brightly, as they walk toward the subway station, and Kurt freezes in his tracks.

"What?"

"Jackson," she says again. "It would be really funny if we were wandering around Manhattan and suddenly there he was."

"Why the hell would you say that?" Kurt snaps, feeling the need to tighten the grip he has around Blaine's waist as they walk.

"No reason, just that now that he's here too, it's a possibility, I guess."

"He's what?"

Kurt's voice is so dark and low, that for a moment, Tina thinks someone else has spoken, but then she realizes it's him, and takes a step backward in alarm. "Uh..." she starts, then gives Mike a worried glance.

"He's studying at Tisch," Mike says quietly. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew."

"No, I did not know," Kurt all but growls, then turns his attentions to Blaine. "Did you?"

"No! No, I really didn't," he says quickly. "I mean, I knew he had applied but..."

"What?!" Kurt's shriek is so loud, that Blaine, and everyone else around them, becomes aware that he's just said something very wrong, and he steps forward, holding his hands out to try and placate him.

"Hey, hey, hear me out."

"This better be good, Blaine," Kurt storms, while Mike drags Tina away to look at a window display. "Damn good."

"I didn't say anything because it's irrelevant." Blaine says quietly and calmly. "What difference does it make if he's here? What can you do about it? We can't move away, I can't quit college and you can't quit your job. You can't tell Jackson he's not allowed to study here either," he adds, before Kurt can say anything.

"He's come here for you," Kurt pouts. "I know he has."

Blaine steps closer still, reaching out and laying his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "Kurt, listen to me. I haven't seen or spoken to Jackson since I graduated. I highly doubt he's decided to come to New York to try and win me over, more like he's come to Tisch because it's such a good performing arts college. Anyway, it makes no difference, does it? I'm yours. I live with you, we're solid and strong, and neither of us are going anywhere."

Kurt stares down at the sidewalk, giving a small shrug. He thinks it all over for a moment, and when he does look up, it is to see Blaine giving him a soft, loving smile. "Fine," Kurt sighs. "But if you ever see him..."

"I'll have a polite conversation with him and then say goodbye," Blaine finishes. "I'm not going to ignore him or be rude just to satisfy your jealousy," he says with a pointed look. "You either trust me or you don't."

"I do."

"Well then."

"Okay," Kurt says, as they catch up to Tina and Mike. "Let's go."

"Ahem."

Kurt turns to look at Blaine, who stares him down, until he rolls his eyes and throws his hands in the air. "Okay fine. Tina, Mike, I'm sorry for snapping at you, and Blaine, I'm sorry for being a jealous grumpy ass."

"Thank you," Blaine says, taking his hand and raising it to his lips. "Apology accepted."

Later that afternoon, as they walk through Central Park, Tina finds herself alone with Blaine while Mike and Kurt walk ahead. She links her arm through his and gives a smile which he returns, and for a moment they are silent, until Mike calls for them to sit while they go and get ice cream.

"So Kurt is...feisty," Tina offers, as they sit on a bench, and Blaine gives a small laugh as he watches them walk away.

"He sure is."

"I didn't mean to cause any trouble earlier."

"Oh, you didn't," Blaine reassures. "It's all good now."

"But he got really annoyed."

"Ha! Kurt's always annoyed about something," Blaine laughs. "The line in the bank, the weather, the fact that he can't understand algebra..."

"Why does he need to understand algebra?"

"He doesn't, but not understanding it still annoys him intently."

"Oh." Tina frowns, but Blaine doesn't look upset at all, on the contrary, he is currently giving a lovesick smile to Kurt, who is in the line for the ice cream truck. He blows a kiss when Kurt notices him, then laughs loudly when he flips him off in return.

"You're okay with this?" Tina asks in confusion. "His temper?"

"Yeah, of course. It's never directed at me, or not very often, anyway. But it's been pointed out to me a few times, that his spark is what I fell in love with, and that's totally true. In many ways, Kurt is like a different person to the one I first met, but that spark and sass, and that temper that flares so quickly and unreasonably...yeah, I wouldn't ever want him to lose that, because it's what makes him Kurt. The difference is that Kurt used to allow it to control him, and it was damaging him and his relationships with others. Now he knows it's part of him, and he knows how to control it...well, a bit better than he did, anyhow."

"I was impressed that he apologized," Tina admits. "And that you stood your ground."

"Santana taught me that," Blaine tells her, watching as Kurt and Mike come toward them. "He needs people to stand up to him, otherwise he'll walk all over them."

"Have this one," Kurt says, handing a cone to Blaine. "It's melting and I don't want ice cream running down my hands."

"No!" Blaine cries with a laugh. "You were eating this one on the way back, I was watching you!"

"Yeah, and I heard what you just said," Kurt grins, trading cones and handing Blaine the nicest one. "I just wanted to see if you'd follow through on it, that's all."

"I hate you," Blaine says matter-of factly, and he kicks Kurt's leg for good measure.

"I know you do, now shut up and eat your ice cream."

"Aw," Tina sighs happily, looking on. "You two are gonna get married and have babies!"

"Not yet we're not," Blaine laughs.

"Once the novelty of having our own place has worn off we will," Kurt smiles, sitting on the bench and linking his arm through Blaine's. "We're not willing to share with small people just yet."

"No, but you will one day and oh!" She sighs again, "You'll be so cute as daddies."

"Thank you Tina," Mike says dryly. "It's supposed to be me you want to be a father."

"I do!" she laughs. "But I love seeing Kurt and Blaine together and happy. It's adorable."

Later that night, when Tina and Mike have returned to Boston, and Kurt and Blaine are lying in bed, Kurt pulls Blaine into his arms and kisses into his hair. "I love you so much, you know that?"

"I have some idea," Blaine smiles. "Given that you tell me so often...not that I'm complaining."

"So Tina was a bit taken aback by my outburst over Jackson, huh?"

"Not taken aback, I think she was just surprised to see you still have a completely unreasonable temper when you want to."

"I apologized."

"You did. She was surprised by that, too."

"And you?"

"Don't start."

"With what?" Kurt cries, though he knows full well.

"With your whole worrying you're not good enough thing," Blaine says, shifting around so he's holding Kurt. "Listen to me, tiger. You, and only you, are the man for me. I don't want anyone else, and I won't be going anywhere for the rest of my days. Don't change who you are. If I come home one day and ask you how your day has been, and you say 'great, no complaints,' then I'll know you've changed and I'll turn right around and walk back out. I fell in love with quick witted, sassy, funny, sharp and feisty Kurt. I fell in love with Kurt who tells me he hates me as a term of endearment, who will never admit to being wrong, and so calls me a bastard instead."

"Don't curse."

"And I fell in love with the Kurt who tells me off for cursing," Blaine laughs. He kisses Kurt's lips, pausing a moment to just hold him tight, before he looks him in the eye. "I mean it, Kurt, don't ever change, because you're perfect."

"You're so sweet," Kurt sighs happily. "You're right, I totally hate you."

"I know," Blaine laughs, before he kisses him again and turns out the light.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey beautiful," Kurt calls when Blaine trudges through the door. "You okay?"

"Ugh." He dumps his bag on a kitchen chair and makes his way over to the stove, wrapping his arms around Kurt from behind and kissing his neck. "Long ass day. My head is swimming. You?"

"I finished early," Kurt confides. "Totally broke the shredder, so I wanted to leave before anyone noticed."

"What?" Blaine laughs, hopping up onto the counter to watch him while he cooks. "How did you break it?"

"I might have kicked it...hard. Several times," Kurt admits. "And I knew if anyone asked and I tried to lie, they'd know immediately that it was me, so I said I needed to work from home."

"And what did you really do?"

"Napped for two hours," he grins. "But anyway, I'll catch up. Did you learn fun stuff today?"

"It was fun, actually," Blaine says with a smile. "But so complex. We were looking at aviation mechanics. Did you know...?"

He keeps up a running monologue while Kurt finishes cooking and serves dinner. He doesn't have the slightest clue what Blaine talking about of course, but he smiles and nods in all the right places, because hearing him so enthralled is something he could listen to all day long. When he's done Kurt kisses him, just because he can, and they carry on eating.

"Oh," he says, suddenly remembering. "I have something to ask you."

Blaine becomes flirtatious, resting his chin in the palm of his hand as he leans on the table. "Do you now?"

"Not that," Kurt laughs, "That's a given."

"Ah, the humdrum life of domesticity," Blaine sighs. "So full of romance."

"Shut up." He gives Blaine a kick under the table, then gets back on track. "So, Jason from work is turning thirty."

"Ugh."

"And he's invited us out this Saturday to a few bars and stuff, maybe a club? Wanna come?"

"Ugh."

"What is your problem with Jason?"

"He's too tall."

"Oh stop," Kurt laughs. "He's perfectly nice to you, and you know it."

"He is," Blaine concedes. "But he's too good looking and tan and...tall. He makes me feel so...I don't know, insignificant, I guess."

Kurt frowns, getting out of his seat and climbing into Blaine's lap. "I'm sure he wouldn't ever mean to make you feel that way."

"I know. And you're right, he is a really nice guy, I just...like, that time at your work Christmas thingy, the three of us were standing there talking, and I just felt like...like if people saw us they'd assume you two were the couple, because you both look like damn models, and then there's me."

"I love you, you know that?" Kurt asks. "You're not worried I'd go off with him, are you?"

"No, I'm not actually," Blaine tells him sincerely. "I'm really not. I don't know. It's just my silly problem I guess, I'll get over it. Of course we can go."

"Really?" Kurt asks excitedly. "You want to?"

"I didn't say that," Blaine says with a grimace. "I said we can go."

"Blaine."

"What?"

"We never go out to bars."

"We do," Blaine points out. "Sometimes."

"We occasionally go to that Irish pub with some of your college friends, or we go to that cocktail bar with Santana and her roommates. I want us to go out and party! It'll be fun, right?"

"You're right," Blaine says with a smile. "Yes, it'll be fun, of course we can go, and I promise to enjoy it."

Kurt kisses him soundly on the mouth, happily placated. "Thank you!"

* * *

><p>But Blaine spends the next four days gripped by worry and fear. He doesn't mind going out to a club with Kurt, they've done it a few times in Lima and they've always had fun, but the New York scene is different, especially the gay scene. Going to an Irish pub with his college friends is one thing, or even for cocktails with Santana, because he and Kurt usually have a couple of drinks and then come home, feeling a little lightheaded and giggly but nothing more. This usually leads to ridiculously fun, slightly drunken sex, and then they sleep until noon the next day, but going out as part of a large group to the gay bars of the East Village and beyond leaves Blaine feeling worried for what's to come.<p>

Kurt is right, Jason is a good guy. He is always warm and friendly to Blaine, and though Blaine had been jealous the first time they had met, he was long since over that, and happy that Jason had no ulterior motives when it came to Kurt. It's just that Jason, and his good looking friends, including Kurt, seemed to form a group of young professionals who looked to be in a whole other world to Blaine. Even though Kurt was by no means rich, he still managed to give off the air of having money to burn through his impeccable fashion sense, which of course, everyone at Marie Claire shared too.

It takes Blaine most of the day to figure out what he should wear, and in the end he's in such a panic that he lets Kurt pick out everything for him, even his underwear. He laughs and he jokes and he goes along with Kurt's happiness, because he doesn't want to spoil this for him. Despite their closeness, and the ease with which they can talk about almost anything, Blaine feels that if he says anything now it will either lead to an almighty fight, ending with Kurt storming out without him, or it will result in Kurt declaring they're not going, and he will curl up with Blaine on the couch instead, and Blaine doesn't want either of those options to happen. He wants Kurt to be happy, to have a good night out, and so he pushes all those fears to the side, dresses in the clothes Kurt has picked for him, and off they go.

"Are you sure I look okay?" Blaine asks fearfully, as they emerge from the subway station. "Will anyone else have a bow tie on?"

"No," Kurt tells him honestly. "They won't. But you know what? If you don't wear one, you'll spend all evening tugging at your collar, because that's what you do when you're nervous or uncomfortable, and I want you to feel secure."

"I feel secure," Blaine protests. "I feel fine."

"You don't," Kurt says, stopping him on the street. "But I hope you will as the evening wears on. And you know what else? You look beautiful. You look like my boyfriend, the man I love with all of my heart, and I am still so proud to be with you."

Blaine ducks his head, and Kurt steps forward, taking him in his arms. "Thank you," he whispers into the warmth of Kurt's neck. "For knowing me."

Kurt holds him just that little bit tighter, kissing at his temple and letting his breath tickle over his ear. "Believe me, it's my absolute pleasure."

To Blaine's utter surprise, he actually enjoys himself immensely as the evening wears on. Jason greets them both with warm hugs, and makes sure to introduce Blaine to anyone he might not know. He and Kurt settle at a table in a cocktail bar with Sarah, Kurt's boss, and her boyfriend, and they're joined by more of Kurt's colleagues as the evening wears on. Blaine knows he's drunk by the end of his fourth cocktail, which someone tells him was called a Singapore Sling. Whatever it was, he liked it, and Kurt seemed to as well, because his cheeks are all pink and he's laughing hysterically at something.

"You okay, puppy?" he asks, possibly too loudly, but Blaine doesn't really care, grinning back and raising his empty glass.

"I'm so good."

"One more before we move to the club?" Kurt asks. "We should probably switch to water then."

"Sure."

By the time the group leaves the bar they are all the worse for wear, talking loudly over one another as they walk down the street to a club, which Blaine decides he will name the club with all the neon lights, because someone told him the name of it but he can't remember. Kurt is as good as his word, and gets them both a bottle of water, and when he hands it to Blaine, for some reason, when their fingers touch, some kind of spark is ignited.

"What?" he shouts over the music to Blaine, who shrugs and gives a sloppy grin.

"Dunno. Just..." He trails off, taking a look around. He's never set foot in a New York gay club before, and if he thought Scandals back in Lima was liberal, it's nothing compared to what's on display here. Realizing he can be as free and easy as he wants with Kurt, he takes his hand in his. "Wanna dance?"

"Yes."

Dancing together is one of their favorite things to do, and although for them, their behaviour is less that chaste, it's still tame in comparison with the other couples on the dance floor. Just the

press of their bodies together is enough to thrill them both, and Kurt pulls Blaine close to talk directly in his ear.

"Tell me what you want to do tonight when we get home."

"Kurt!"

"Come on," he laughs. "Tell me."

"No, cause I'll get all horny."

"So? If you want, I can suck you off in the bathroom to keep you going until later."

"Kurt!" Even in his drunken state Blaine is shocked, but also more than a little turned on. "You can't do that! That's...that's..naughty."

"Hmm, I know," Kurt breathes, tugging Blaine's earlobe between his teeth. "I like being naughty."

"Kurt," Blaine moans, unaware that they have now stopped dancing and he is pressed against the wall, held firm by Kurt, who is gently rubbing his hard on against his thigh.

"Tell me Blaine, tell me your fantasies."

"I know that I'll sound really boring here, but, you. You are my fantasy. Just...knowing I can undress you, touch you...be with you...that's like...it's like all the fantasy I need, because when I think about what I want to do, I just want to do it with you."

He looks Kurt in the eye, who bites his lip and stares back. The music still blares, but it's as if they're in a silent vacuum, just the two of them and no one else.

"Is that really pathetic?" Blaine asks fearfully, and Kurt gives a small shake of his head.

"No," he says quietly. "It's not. It's...it's everything."

He surges forward, kissing Blaine hard, his hands framing his face. Blaine eagerly kisses back, letting his hands quickly slide under Kurt's vest and shirt, seeking out the smooth skin of his back. They stay there, against the wall, making out so hard they can barely catch their breath. Kurt breaks the kiss, but only so he can suck a large, dark hickey onto Blaine's neck, something he is normally quite restrained in, but right now it's something he needs to do.

"I wanna go home," he whines loudly, pressing their erections together. "I want to..."

But he doesn't get to finish. Jason arrives, clapping them both on the shoulders as he staggers slightly. "C'mon, we're going to Scream."

"Scream?" a dazed and confused Blaine asks. "What...why, why would we want to scream?"

"No, it's another club!" Jason laughs, ruffling his already wild hair. "Oh Blaine. You're funny."

"We're gonna head home," Kurt protests, taking a firm hold of Blaine's arm. "We're too drunk to go anywhere else."

"You are not!" Sarah shrieks loudly as she arrives, and she grabs them both by the hands and positions herself between them. "The night is young, boys, and so are you!"

"He is, I'm not," Kurt grouches, as they are dragged from the club.

Blaine knows they're well meaning, and only teasing, but he can't help but feel a little disappointed that he can't escape with Kurt as planned. Still, he supposes they can dance some more and make out a lot, which can only be a good thing...only Kurt doesn't look like he's much in the mood to be making out at all, as they wait in line to get in. In fact, he looks like he is either about to cry or throw up.

"Kurt?" He whispers, ducking around the back of Sarah to stand by his side. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," he mumbles, staring straight ahead. "It's just that I used to come here."

Blaine opens his mouth to say something, but the line moves forward. Sarah grabs them both again and before he knows it, he's flashing his fake ID and being shown inside.

He tries to stay near to Kurt, but one of Kurt's work friends whose name Blaine can't remember grabs him instead, and pulls him toward the bar, while Jason and some guy named Danny press two drinks into his hands at the same time. "Oh," he says with a laugh. "No more, thanks. I don't think..."

He trails off suddenly as a man, who Blaine has never seen before in his life, comes hurtling toward the bar and makes a beeline for Kurt.

"As I live and breathe!" he shrieks loudly, "It's Kurtie! Omg omg omg!"

Blaine rolls his eyes at the man's extravagant gestures and ridiculously camp voice, obviously put on for effect, but he sees red when he hugs Kurt tight and kisses his neck.

"What the...?" Blaine is by Kurt's side immediately, giving the man a firm shove in the chest at the same time as Kurt, who looks completely embarrassed.

"Kurtie! I can't believe it!" The man is saying, seemingly not caring that Blaine looks ready to punch him.

"Who the hell is this idiot?" Blaine storms, as Kurt takes one of the drinks in his hand and downs it.

"Mystique."

"Is that...what? A joke?"

"I'm a queen, sweetheart," Mystique says proudly. "A drag queen."

"I don't care who or what you are, leave my boyfriend the hell alone!"

"Woah! Darling, I'm not after Kurtie! Been there, done that...or rather he's done me. Several times over, isn't that right, Kurtie?"

Blaine looks to Kurt, and his stomach plummets when Kurt gives a small nod. "It's not..." he starts, but Mystique carries on regardless.

"Darling boy," he trills, running a finger along Blaine's jaw, which gets angrily slapped away. "You are adorable. I didn't know Kurtie had a thing for young boys like you. How cute!"

"No," Kurt intervenes quickly. "It's not like that, not at all. Blaine is my boyfriend, we live together it's...it's...serious," he adds, when Mystique shrieks and claps his hands. "It's forever."

"Oh my word, Kurtie, have you been tamed?" the guy shouts. "Hold up, hold up."

And he's gone, tripping across the club, and it's only then that Blaine notices he's wearing high heels and a miniskirt.

"Blaine," Kurt starts, stricken. "Blaine, I..."

"Just leave it," he says stiffly. "It's fine."

Only then Mystique is back, with two other guys who scream loudly and hug Kurt tight. "Oh my god, Kurt, where have you been?" one of them asks, not letting go of him. "It's been too long! And who's this hottie?"

His attentions are drawn to Blaine, who tries to stand as tall as he can, but his confidence is wavering. Once again, he feels massively like the outsider, because he can see how Kurt fits with this group, and he can see how Kurt fits with all his fashionable work colleagues, and Blaine... Blaine feels as if he doesn't fit anywhere at all.

"This is Blaine," Kurt says, with a worried glance in his direction. "My boyfriend."

"Shut the front door! You got a boyfriend? That's where you've been?"

"Yeah," Kurt says, and he gives a small laugh. "For a long time now. Um...Blaine, this is Neil."

"My name is a command," Neil says proudly, and hugs a stiff and unyielding Blaine. "This is Scottie," he says, introducing the other guy who gives a wave. "Oh! Drinks! We all need to have drinks. Come! Come!"

"I don't think..." Kurt starts, but no one listens, and Mystique takes them both by the hands and guides them over to a table.

Neil returns with a bottle of champagne and five glasses, and all the while Blaine says nothing, just sits there feeling out of place and completely ignoring Kurt's worried tugs on his sleeve.

"To you and Blaine!" Neil says happily, handing them all a glass. "I'm happy for you my sweetie," he says, and Blaine is pretty sure he's sincere, and he's also pretty sure he could warm up to the guy, if it wasn't for the fact that he knows why and how Kurt knows him.

"So Blaine, tell me, do you share?" Scottie asks, and Mystique and Neil lean forward intently.

"Do I...?"

"No," Kurt answers for him, very firmly. "We don't. This is exclusive."

"Not even as a group?"

"No," Kurt snarls, and Neil reaches across the small table, placing a hand on Kurt's chest.

"Okay, it's okay. C'mon Kurt, you can't blame Scottie. The hottest fuck we've ever had suddenly reappears and is a taken man!"

"Let us watch then," Scottie asks with a wicked grin. "Go on, Kurt, let us watch you two in action."

"I'm just gonna go," Blaine says weakly, suddenly feeling very sober, but Mystique pulls him back down.

"Stay, stay! Let us tell you some tales about lover boy here."

"No thanks," Blaine says, and he silently curses himself for having a voice which wavers so much with emotion. "I know all I need to."

"No, no, it wasn't bad stuff," Mystique says quickly. "Kurtie is a darling."

But Kurt just stares at the table, not able to bring himself to look at Blaine and see the hurt in his eyes.

"Oh my god yes, he's fabulous," Neil says, moving to sit next to Blaine, and putting an arm around his shoulders. "Kurt, how much did we used to drink?"

"You know," Scottie muses. "I'm sure I've still got a photo somewhere of Kurt doing coke off your ass, Mystique," he laughs. "From that time the four of us hooked up? I know I've definitely still got the video. That keeps me going!"

"Oh Jesus!" Mystique laughs, clapping his hands. "Oh, and what about that time we all stayed after hours, and Kurt fucked Tony on top of the bar? That was hilarious."

"Do you remember when he sucked those two guys off on the dance floor?" Scottie shrieks. "At the same time, too!"

"Going," Blaine chokes out desperately, and he pushes past Neil and rushes across the club.

"Blaine! Blaine, please!"

He turns to find Kurt standing there, crying freely in the middle of the club. "Please," he says again sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Just..." Blaine shakes his head sadly. "Stay," he finishes. "Stay with your friends and enjoy the night, I just need some time to clear my head."

Blaine walks. He doesn't know how long he walks for, or even where he goes, but he walks and he walks and he walks. He knows Kurt and his dad would blow up at him if they knew he was wandering around New York alone in the early hours of the morning, but he doesn't want to go home. Not yet, anyhow. Right now, he's not sure if he ever will.

He eventually navigates his way to the Brownstone Santana shares with her college friends, but then he realizes it's three in the morning. He could call her. He knows she would let him stay there and he knows she would hold him while he cries and listen to all he has to say, but he also knows that he should talk to Kurt before he talks to anyone else, so after standing outside for twenty minutes, he makes his way slowly home.

The second he is inside the building, he finds himself biting back the tears and as he unlocks the apartment door it's all he can do not to let out a loud sob, closing the door quickly behind him and leaning against it hard.

"Kurt," he whispers, then lets his sadness take him over as he sinks to the floor.

"I'm here."

He looks up suddenly to find Kurt standing over him, biting his lip and looking terribly afraid.

"I told you to stay."

"I didn't want to stay." Kurt crouches down beside him, laying a tentative hand on his arm. "Blaine...I love you. I think we need to talk, don't you?"

"I don't know what to say," Blaine admits, taking a deep, shaking breath and wiping at his eyes. "I've been walking and walking and I just...I don't know what to say to you. I don't know."

"C'mere," Kurt offers, holding out his arms, but Blaine scrambles to his feet, hugging himself and backing away.

"No. I don't want...I don't want you to touch me."

"You don't?"

"That's the thing, Kurt, don't you see? You've touched them! All of them! Probably the whole damn club!"

"Blaine..."

"I don't know you!" Blaine cries, throwing his jacket over the back of the couch and kicking off his shoes. "I don't know who you are, and I don't even think I wanna know!"

"Blaine, I'm not like that now, you know..."

"No I don't!" he yells loudly. "No I don't! I thought I had some idea, Kurt, some idea of how you were, but foursomes? Public sex acts? Coke? Fucking coke?!"

"One time!" Kurt yells back.

"Really?"

"Well, twice maybe, but no more."

"Jesus Christ! And that guy has a video of you! Doing what, Kurt, huh? Doing what?"

"It's um..It's..." He doesn't want to answer, but in all the time he's known Blaine, he's never seen him more angry or upset. "The thing," he whispers, completely ashamed. "It's the night we...the four of us. It was...one time."

"It wasn't though, was it?" Blaine shouts, tearing at his hair as he paces the living room. "It wasn't one time, it was lots of times, with lots of guys and...I don't know, a coke fueled foursome was probably tame for you!"

"Blaine, please!"

"You know what? I stood there, in that other club, and I told you that you were my fantasy. Fuck me, you were probably laughing at my naivety! Those guys certainly would! How boring our sex must be for you Kurt!" He laughs wildly, then turns and punches the wall hard, over and over. "How fucking boring and shitty and pathetic our sex life must seem when...when..."

Kurt cuts him off, pushing him away from the wall hard, then fisting the front of his shirt, forcing him to listen. "I am not that person!" he screams, shaking Blaine hard. He lets go, to step backward before his temper can get the better of him, running a hand through his hair as he tries to calm his breathing.

"I am not that guy. That is not Kurt Hummel, Blaine's boyfriend. That is Kurt, a prick of a guy who uses and abuses anyone and anything he can get his hands on. That Kurt started to die the moment he picked you up in Scandals, and he was finally, totally dead and buried the night I declared my love for you. I know you're upset, I understand that and I don't blame you, but god, Blaine, I love you with every bit of my heart. I'm not like that now, Blaine, I don't know how many ways I can tell you that, but that part of my life is over, finished. My life now is with you."

"I know that," Blaine says quietly. He hugs his arms around himself again, and huddles against the wall by the bedroom door. "I know that, I do know that, I do. But some guy...has a video of you doing god only knows what and I...I think we're risque if we have sex in the living room."

"But none of that meant anything," Kurt says, biting back his despairing temper. "None of that was anything like us, Blaine. That's why I won't share, because you mean so much. I could never, ever give myself to anyone the way I do with you, and I'm not talking about when I bottom, I'm talking about each and every time. Even when we kiss I'm giving myself to you, completely and wholeheartedly."

"You know though," Blaine whispers, as his tears start to fall. "You know that's my biggest hang up, the thing I constantly worry about, and now...now I don't know if I'll ever be able to be with you in that way again, without thinking about all you used to do. To hear it like that, all laid out..."

"But it's not...I don't know how many times I can say it. It's not the same, has never been the same. I want to marry you, Blaine. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want to raise a family with you. None of those guys even know my last name, or where I work, where I'm from..."

"But they've touched you! They've seen you how I've seen you," Blaine sobs, as he sinks to the floor. "They...you...you've been intimate," he cries sadly. "You've been intimate with those people in a way that you and I will never be."

"There was no intimacy!" Kurt yells, finally losing his temper. "None! What do you want, Blaine? Huh? You wanna do coke together? To pick up a few more guys for an orgy?"

"Oh don't be disgusting, Kurt! You know that's not what I mean."

"I don't know what you want me to say, or do!" Kurt shouts in despair. "I can't do anything to make this better except reassure you, over and over, that you are the only man I have ever loved, and you are the only man I've ever been intimate with."

"But I'm no good," Blaine sobs desperately, and Kurt falls on the floor next to him, desperate to take him in his arms. Blaine looks a mess, a broken hearted, pitiful mess, and Kurt's own heart aches for him. "I'm no good to you," he repeats, gasping for breath as he cries. "Not only was I inexperienced, I was a virgin, Kurt. No one had ever even kissed me before you...and you...you were making porn videos and...and doing stuff to people in public. You must think you're with a child."

"I think..." Kurt pauses, and dares to reach out to where Blaine sits hugging his knees to his chest. His hand rests over his gently, and he is spurred on when Blaine doesn't move away. "I think I'm with a man who loves me more than I could ever love myself. I think I'm with a man who makes me weak at the knees when he tells me I'm his fantasy. Blaine...no amount of drugs, alcohol or other guys will ever make me feel the way even one kiss from you does. Don't you see that? When I'm with you, I don't need any of that stuff, because you are enough for me. You will always be enough, because you love me."

Blaine sits, staring past Kurt at the opposite wall. A long time passes, and Kurt just watches Blaine for the slightest hint of anything, but he remains as if he were made of stone. "It's like...five in the morning," Kurt says quietly after what seems like an age. "We should get to bed."

"Fine." Blaine's voice is hoarse and sore, but he stays staring at the wall. "I'm going to sleep in the spare room."

"What? Blaine, no. Please, no."

"I want to," he says as he stands. "I can't think anymore, I can't talk anymore...I don't even know which way is up. Let me get some rest and we can talk more tomorrow."

"Please don't punish me," Kurt whispers, and Blaine has to look away when his lip trembles and he begins to cry again. "I am so, so, sorry for all that I was, but I can't help that it happened."

"I know that." Blaine stops, reaching out to touch Kurt's cheek briefly. "But I don't know if I can ever move past this Kurt, I'm sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

_ONE extra chapter...so now you can all stop plaguing me! (Only joking, I love that you all feel so much for this story.) I took pity on you so now you will all love me forever, okay? Good. Glad we cleared that up. Now be patient and wait until Wednesday :)_

* * *

><p>Neither Kurt or Blaine manage more than a couple hours of broken sleep. Both cry, for a very long time, and at one point, Kurt tiptoes across the living room to listen at the door to the guest room, but when he hears Blaine sobbing, instead of opening the door like he wants to, he creeps silently back to bed and cries alone.<p>

By nine thirty, he can stand it no more, and he gets out of bed, deciding that sleep will elude him until this is all figured out. He goes about his normal morning routine, then knocks timidly on the guest room door.

"Blaine?" he asks softly, in a voice which is still raw with emotion. "You awake?"

"Yeah."

He pushes the door open carefully, to find Blaine sitting up in bed staring straight ahead. He looks terrible, with red rimmed eyes, a shadow of coarse dark stubble across his cheeks, and a hollow, empty look in his eyes, as if he's resigned to his fate. What breaks Kurt though, and what makes him bite his lip hard as he tries not to cry, is the sight of his pajamas.

It's been so long since Blaine has worn a pajama top in bed, that Kurt had almost forgotten that he owned quite the collection. Old man PJ's, Kurt always affectionately called them, and sometimes in winter he would still put them on, but more often than not he just wore the pants now, occasionally pulling on an old hoodie of Kurt's if he was cold in the mornings.

But there he is, in pajamas with red and white stripes, so neatly ironed that the creases in the arms still remain, despite Blaine having lain on them. He looks so sensible and smart, such the dapper gentleman, that Kurt almost collapses under the weight of his emotions, because that's exactly the Blaine he fell in love with when they had their first date.

"Coffee," he chokes out, offering Blaine his usual mug. "I uh...made you coffee."

Blaine takes the cup and stares down at it, a sudden realization dawning. He can remember clearly, back when he had first visited New York, going to the coffee house where Kurt worked and getting given a mocha, which he really didn't enjoy. Under Santana's insistence, he had told Kurt he liked medium drip. For a long time after, even when Blaine had moved to the city, Kurt would often try to change his mind, he would encourage him to try new syrups, or to add cream, and each time he came back to his faithful drip, hot, strong, and black, just plain, simple coffee.

He doesn't know when Kurt stopped trying to surprise him with different drinks in the morning, but he realizes it must have been quite some time ago now, as if Kurt had stopped trying to change him, and just accepted the simple nature of his coffee habit. A small thing, maybe, but one which now has Blaine crying silent tears, as he remembers his dad's words from his letter:

"Fall in love with the man who wants to know how you like your coffee in the morning."

"Huh?" Kurt asks with a frown. "What did you say?"

"You know my coffee order," Blaine whispers, as his tears come harder.

"Of course I do."

Kurt moves closer, then tentatively sits on the edge of the bed, reaching out to lay a hand on Blaine's knee, over the duvet. "Please don't cry," he says softly. "Please."

Blaine reaches out and sets the mug on the nightstand, then takes Kurt's one hand in both of his. "I love you," he says, choking on a sob. "I love you, and I should have told you that last night, but I didn't. I love you so much."

"Oh Blaine," and Kurt didn't realize how badly he needed to hear those words until they are spoken, and he falls forward, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck. "I love you too."

Blaine hugs back, much to both their relief, almost crushing Kurt in his arms, but Kurt doesn't care, he just revels in the feeling of Blaine wrapped around him, keeping him close, keeping him safe.

"What?"

"You keep me safe," Kurt murmurs through his tears, as he realizes he spoke out loud. "You keep me safe."

"I don't want to be safe though," Blaine says, and he pulls back a touch, but keeps his arms loosely around Kurt's waist. "I want to be exciting, thrilling, the one who makes your pulse race and your breath quicken."

"You do all that too," Kurt reassures, laying a hand gently on his cheek. "All that and more, but knowing you're there for me...loving me...you make me feel so safe and secure, and that's what I never had, that's what no one could ever give me except you."

"But I can't give you foursomes, or coke, or public sex...Kurt...I think things like that should be private, between two men who love and care for each other, and now I realize we're miles apart on this."

"We're not though!" Kurt cries. "Blaine, we're going around in circles here, and I really don't know what I can say. If I'd met you when I was eighteen, if we'd been in school together, we would've been one of those high school romances that everyone said wouldn't last. Then at the ten year reunion, we would've arrived, hand in hand, and told everyone about the baby we were expecting, and how we'd been married for five years already...but unfortunately, that didn't happen. I can't do anything about the way my life was for all those years, Blaine, I can't. I wish I could erase it all, but it happened and it's a part of me. You've always been so good about that though, so I don't get why you're like this now!"

"You don't get it?" Blaine asks, moving away from Kurt to sit back against the wall. "You don't think I have a right to be upset?"

"I didn't say that, but way back when you came here to visit, you said it didn't matter how many others there had been, because you were the one who was going to keep me. When that guy came up to us in the diner that day, you just told me it didn't matter."

"That is very different to everything I heard last night, Kurt!"

"Tell me then, Blaine, tell me what I'm supposed to do about it, because I haven't got a damn clue and I'm so scared."

He ducks his head immediately, and Blaine knows how hard it is for him to admit that. He likes to be strong, he likes to be in control, and he would like people to think nothing bothers him, but Blaine knows him better than anyone else, and he reaches out for his hand. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared you're going to break up with me," Kurt whispers, then breaks down into huge, heartbreaking sobs, the kind which make his whole body shake as he struggles for breath. "I don't want to lose you, Blaine, I love you so much and I...I...I'm so sorry for all that I was, but please don't leave me, please don't...please...I don't think I could live without you."

"Kurt, I'm not going to break up with you."

Kurt looks up sharply, to find his broken, tearful, and beautiful Blaine, watching him intently. "You're not?"

"No. Never. I couldn't. I love you with every bit of me. I love you to the moon and stars and back again and...oh, come here."

He pulls Kurt into his arms, and all the way onto the bed, lying down and holding him tight while he cries. "I'm sorry," he tells him sincerely, not caring that his pajamas are getting damp from all Kurt's tears and snot. "I'm sorry for making you feel scared, because that was never my intention. It's just me, that's all. Just me and my stupid head."

"I'll never be that way again," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. He pushes himself tighter against Blaine's chest, not wanting to be parted from him. "Never, I swear."

"I know that." Blaine's hands rub soothingly over Kurt's back, as he presses their foreheads together and looks into his eyes. "I do know that, honestly."

And all seems to be tentatively okay, until Kurt leans in to kiss him, and Blaine pulls away. It's just a touch, but the message is clear, and Kurt looks down, heartbroken.

"It's not...just not yet, okay?" Blaine asks, and what option does Kurt have, but to nod in agreement? "I will, but I need time to...to...to not see them, I guess."

"Okay."

"But I love you though, and we will be okay, I swear. This is my issue, and I just need to deal with it in my own time."

"Sure," Kurt says, though he can't help but feel disappointed. "Maybe I'll...I'll get dressed and then we could...I don't know, go out for brunch, maybe?" he asks hopefully. "Some bacon and eggs might help with this hangover."

"I have to study."

"Oh. Well, could you do that later?"

But Blaine stiffens again and shakes his head, letting go of Kurt and climbing out of bed. "Not really, no. It's best if I do it now."

And he heads off to the bathroom, leaving Kurt feeling like everything is actually very far from okay at all.

* * *

><p>What follows must surely rate as the worst few days of Kurt's existence, as he and Blaine walk on eggshells around each other, and Blaine refuses to discuss any of Saturday's events at all. After a Sunday spent in silent study, with just the occasional word of thanks sent Kurt's way for the food he brings, Blaine moves back into their bedroom that night. If Kurt was thrilled to see him there when he comes back from the bathroom, however, it is short lived. Blaine silently holds his arms out for Kurt to cuddle in, which he does, and Blaine gives an audible sigh and holds him tight, dropping his face into the softness of his hair for just a moment.<p>

"Blaine...I..."

"Not now, Kurt. I need to sleep."

Kurt needs to sleep too, but he knows both of them lie there in silent thought for a long time, before they manage to drift off.

The next morning sees Kurt up at six, frantically cooking pancakes before Blaine can emerge from the bedroom, and Kurt has to leave for work. When he does arrive in the kitchen, however, instead of being soft, fluffy and barely awake like usual, Blaine is dressed neatly, his hair tightly gelled. He grabs an apple from the fruit bowl and picks up his book bag. "I'll see you later," he says, not even looking at Kurt, as he heads to the door. "Have a good day."

"Blaine! Hold up, it's not even seven."

"I have class."

"At nine thirty," Kurt says sadly. "I know your schedule. I always leave before you on Monday."

"I need to study."

"You spent the entire day yesterday studying!" Kurt cries. "Blaine please. I made you breakfast..."

"Sorry, I have to go. Love you."

"Yeah... I love you too," Kurt sighs, but the front door has already closed.

When Kurt gets home from work, Blaine is sitting at the kitchen table, earbuds in, as he types on his laptop. He gives a wave and a tight smile, but doesn't stop what he's doing as he normally would, to kiss Kurt hello and hear about his day. In fact, he doesn't ask Kurt anything at all, just does an hour more of studying, before silently cooking dinner and taking Kurt's plate to him on the couch.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Sure," Kurt says, surprised, and thinking that maybe this is Blaine's way to reach out to him. "What do you wanna watch? Moulin Rouge again?"

"I'm tired of that," Blaine snaps, flicking through Netflix. "Too sappy."

"We always watch it," Kurt whispers, hurt. "It's so romantic."

"Here."

"X-Men? Really Blaine? I hate these type of movies."

"Well I don't."

So their evening is spent in silence, both of them staring at a movie they don't enjoy. When the credits roll, Blaine walks away to bed without a word, leaving Kurt to load the dishwasher and turn out the lights, and when he makes it to the bedroom, Blaine is fast asleep.

This becomes their routine for over a week. During the weekend, Kurt goes into the office both days, just so he doesn't have to suffer the excruciating awkwardness at home for a moment longer. Both grow more despondent and desperate as the days go on, and both can feel the relationship slipping out of their grasp.

In the very early hours of the following Monday morning, Kurt slips out of bed and calls his dad, but just as the phone gives one ring, he hangs up, hoping he didn't disturb him after all. It's unfair of him to make Burt listen, he reasons, because he wants to complain, and cry and shout, about the unfair way, he thinks, in which Blaine is treating him, but he also doesn't want his dad to feel like he needs to act on it, and talk to Blaine on his behalf. He shouldn't have to pick sides.

So Kurt sighs, and figures that since it's four thirty, he might as well start work on his winter knitwear piece, rather than trying to sleep again.

Blaine is well aware of how he is treating Kurt, and he hates himself for it, but he just doesn't know how to move forward. They talk- light, inane and boring conversation, which is mostly one of them saying what time they'll be home, or that they're going to the store to buy something they've run out of, and he tells Kurt he loves him every time he leaves the apartment. He also holds him at night, but it's the only bit of physical affection they share, and it's starting to feel more and more awkward. The trouble is, every time Blaine thinks he might be able to do it, he might actually be able to bring his lips to Kurt and break that barrier, he remembers.

Kurt had sex with four guys at once. Kurt had sex with some guy on a bar while others watched. Kurt sucked two guys off at the same time in the middle of a busy dance floor. Kurt did drugs, and God only knows what else, with any number of people, and every time he looks at him, he can see him doing it all, and worse, he can look back on all the times they've been intimate, and turn them into something else entirely. He has convinced himself that he's no good as a lover, that their times together have meant nothing, and that he's never satisfied Kurt from the start.

His college friends know something is up, but how do you even begin to explain without painting Kurt in a really bad light? And he just can't do that to him. Santana knows Kurt's past, but he doesn't feel it would be fair to put that on her either, and then there's his dad.

He could call Burt, he could even fly home, but he doesn't feel it would be fair to any of them to put Burt in that position, to make him listen to his side without hearing Kurt's, to ask for his advice regarding them as a couple, and for Burt to know that what he says could have a bearing on whether they stay together or not.

So the atmosphere continues, and Blaine and Kurt talk to no one, least of all each other.

Blaine has a late class every Wednesday, and Kurt often stays late at work that night too, meaning dinner is usually takeout of some sort which one of them picks up on their way home, but today, neither one has text the other, so Blaine just heads home, figuring he'll make some toast and then head to bed early.

He is surprised when he opens the door, to find Kurt already home, the table set and a bottle of wine opened. Something is in the oven, and it smells divine, and Blaine does manage a smile when Kurt turns around in surprise, wearing his apron and oven mitts. "Oh! I thought you'd be later."

"I um...usually stay to chat after class, but I came right home. What's all this?"

"Dinner. I thought we could...I don't know, spend some time together, I guess."

"Sure."

"Oh. Good. So...well, it's almost ready, if you want to wash up?"

Blaine gives a nod and is gone, and Kurt once again is convinced that this is it, the night things will finally get back on track, because Blaine had seemed pleased. He had smiled, and talked, and Kurt had the feeling he wanted this to be made right.

"This is nice, huh?" Kurt asks over dinner, and Blaine gives possibly the brightest smile he's given in over a week.

"Yeah, good. You need to make this again."

"I meant..." Kurt starts, then shakes his head. "Nevermind. Yeah, I'll make it again."

"So how was your day?"

Kurt tries not to let his surprise show, he just swallows his mouthful and settles back in his chair, reaching for his wine. "Oh, well, it was...good." He pauses, wondering why it's so difficult to talk all of a sudden, when this is a usual part of their routine. "Um...I got a first look at some ideas for our spring shoots."

"Already? It's only October."

"I know, but fashion is all about looking ahead. I'd like to switch departments actually, if a spot ever opens up. I'd like to work on the shoots, you know, planning them, preparing them...but people don't often leave that kind of job."

"Well if they do, you should go for it," Blaine says firmly. "Chase your dreams and all that."

"Oh, I've kind of achieved those already."

"Working in fashion? I know."

"I meant you, actually," Kurt says, watching Blaine closely. "I might not have always realized it, but being with you was always my biggest dream of all, and now that we live together, it's like..."

Blaine looks at the table, fiddling with the wine cork as Kurt talks, but he gives a small shake of his head. "I don't think..."

"Please talk to me," Kurt urges, reaching for his hand. "I can't go on like this."

"You don't have to," Blaine says, playing with his fingers. "I told you, it's my issue and I need to get over it. It's for me to deal with, not you."

"It's not though," Kurt says, already feeling the tears threatening. "Because it's affecting us as a couple, and besides that, I love you and I don't like seeing you upset. Blaine, you won't even look me in the eye, let alone kiss me."

"I hold you at night."

"Big fucking deal!" Kurt flares, angrily getting to his feet. "This is not a relationship!" he shouts, gesturing between them. "This is a couple who supposedly love each other, acting like strangers for ninety nine percent of their day, and I can't do it! You say you need to deal with it, but how long is that gonna take? How many more weeks of this am I gonna have to endure? My past is my past, Blaine, I can't do anything to change it!"

"I know that!" Blaine shouts back. "But I don't know how to move past this, Kurt! I'm trying, really, but it's in my head the whole damn day, always, in here!" he cries desperately, but Kurt is too angry and frustrated to care, grabbing his jacket and wallet, and storming to the door.

"You need to decide then, whether you can move past it or not, and let me know the outcome please."

He slams the door quickly, but it's not quick enough to stop the sound of Blaine's sob from reaching his ears, and he runs out of the building and onto the street.

Blaine hears him return, at almost one in the morning, and he knows he's completely wasted from the loud crashes and muttered cursing that follows his trail around the apartment, but he doesn't come to bed, and Blaine doesn't get up to see if he's okay, he just lies there and sleeps in fits and starts, until it's a reasonable time for him to get up and go to the campus library.

He walks the entire way, not caring that it's raining or that he is crying in public, but when he reaches the library, he can't bring himself to go inside. Kurt is right, he needs to work this out. He needs to talk to someone, to let it all out to someone who will listen and not judge him, because he knows how irrational he's being, he can see how much he's hurting the one he loves the most, but he just can't stop it.

"Blaine?" Angie asks in surprise, when she answers the phone. "Are you okay?"

"Uh..."

"Has something happened?"

"No. Well, yes but...I'm okay. We're all okay but...Kurt and I...we might not be."

"Sweetie, I don't think I understand you. Are you safe?" she asks, worried by the obvious upset in his voice. "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No, no I'm just...wandering around, I guess."

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Um kind of...it's complicated..." Angie's heart sinks to hear him start to cry. She can hear from the noise of the traffic that he's outside, and the thought of him alone and vulnerable on the streets of New York at eight in the morning makes her heart ache. "I'm really awful," Blaine cries, and she can see him as a small child, his bottom lip trembling as he cries. "I'm horrible for even saying this, but I don't think I can forgive Kurt's past. I thought I could, but I don't know if I can and..."

Sitting in her car, Angie looks up at her work building and makes a snap decision. "I'm coming to you," she says, setting the phone on speaker and starting the engine. "Go find somewhere to get coffee and compose yourself, then either go home to wait for me there, or text me somewhere I can meet you."

"No, you don't have to..."

"I do," she says, desperately hoping she can make the drive there and back without Spencer realizing she's been at work too long. "Stay safe, honey, and I'll be with you soon."

Blaine does as she suggested, taking himself to a coffee shop he's never been in before, which is halfway between campus and his apartment, and then he heads home, figuring he won't be any use at all in school today. The apartment is empty, and Kurt's work bag and laptop are gone, so he guesses he must have gone for the day. Still, if he does arrive home and Angie is there, Blaine will just say she decided to come visit.

It's eleven thirty before Angie gets to him, and when she does, and she's actually standing in the apartment, Blaine thinks he possibly made the wrong decision in calling her. If it was Burt, he would have scooped him up in his big strong arms, and crushed him tightly to his chest. Santana would have forced him to lie with his head in her lap, so she could smooth his hair and kiss his cheek from time to time, and even Brandon would have given him a hug, but Angie doesn't seem to know what to do, so she clutches her purse awkwardly, until Blaine springs to life and takes it from her, along with her coat and hangs them in the coat closet.

"Thanks for coming. You didn't need to."

"You were crying," Angie says quietly. "I um...I haven't seen or heard you cry for so long, and I know it's usually Kurt or Burt you turn to."

"I can't with this."

"You want to talk?" Angie offers. "It might help."

"I might cry again though."

"Blaine." Angie becomes firm, taking charge and pushing past him into the kitchen, where she starts to make coffee. "I'm your mom. We might not have the worlds best relationship, but I am here for you, and I do love you. Let me help you, please."

Blaine leans against the counter, watching her as she moves around, gathering cups and unloading the dishwasher, even though he could have done that himself. He doesn't say anything for a while, because he's trying to work out what exactly he wants and needs to say. Certainly he would never tell anyone the exact details of all that had been revealed, because that would never be fair to Kurt, and he wouldn't want his mom to look at Kurt in that way.

"We went out a couple of Saturdays back," he starts, and Angie just carries on being busy, knowing he finds it easier to talk this way. "I didn't want to go, because I kinda...I feel like I don't fit, you know? Like Kurt just knows what to wear and what to say, and they're all his work friends and...anyway, we ended up having a really good time. We got pretty drunk and danced a lot and..." he suddenly remembers, leaning against a wall in a club and telling Kurt he was his fantasy. He was worried he sounded lame, but Kurt had looked more crazed with want than he had ever seen him. Yes they were drunk, but those words must have held meaning for him, surely? The way he kissed Blaine had been..."Yeah," he sighs, "We had a whole lot of fun."

"Good. So?"

"So we went onto another club, and Kurt said he used to go there. I um...I don't know how much you know about Kurt, what dad's told you, but...um...he has quite a past."

"Well, I'd kinda guessed that," Angie says, handing him his drink and gently guiding him into the living room. "From things Kurt has said, I could guess."

"There were these three guys who recognized him, and they were all...ex partners," Blaine gets out. "But um...casual partners, I guess."

"Hook ups?"

"Yeah. It's happened before, some guy in a diner once, and I'm pretty sure there was a guy in this Mexican restaurant, he was looking at Kurt really intently, and Kurt just looked away and didn't say anything, but I knew."

"And you don't like that? That he's had others?"

"That doesn't bother me. I told him once it didn't matter, because I'm going to be the one who keeps him but... I battle these feelings of inadequacy a lot," Blaine admits. "I don't provide for him like I want to, because I don't have much money. I can't buy him the expensive clothes he likes, or take him out fancy places. I feel like when we're dressed to go out, side by side, it looks like some guy talking his younger brother out to play with the big boys. I feel like I never say the right things, or act in the right way. I feel all this, but Kurt always makes it okay. Like, he loves me so much and I can see it, I know that he doesn't see me the way I do at all. He really is proud to be with me. He takes me out with his friends, not because he feels obligated, but because he wants to."

"That's wonderful," Angie says, patting his knee. "That he can make you feel better about yourself."

"But hearing those guys," Blaine carries on. "Talking about things they used to do...it was horrible, mom."

His tears come, as he knew they would, and he wipes angrily at his eyes as he tries to carry on. "It was...I can't...I mean I can't tell you, because that wouldn't be fair to him, but ever since that night I feel like...I feel embarrassed to go anywhere near him. How can I, when he's had this whole other exciting life, which I'm never in a million years going to be able to give him? I can't even kiss him," he admits, his cheeks staining red. "Let alone...anything else. I don't think I'll ever be able to be with him in that way again. How can I...how can he possibly find pleasure in someone as dull and boring and inexperienced as me?"

"Oh Blaine." Angie takes his cup, and hands him a tissue, then holds her arms out. "Come here."

He literally can't remember the last time he cried in his mom's arms, because even when his dad had died, she had only given him brief hugs, but she holds him now as she used to do when he was four, nine, eleven, kissing and soothing and cuddling, while he lets everything go. He knows he is practically glued to her side, but he doesn't care, he hugs her back just as hard, and cries for as long as he needs to, which turns out to be a very long time indeed.

When he eventually composes himself somewhat, when his sobs are more like occasional sniffles, and his tears are gone, he sits back, embarrassed, but Angie doesn't seem bothered by his emotional outburst at all. She just kisses his cheek and smoothes his hair, and Blaine decides it was a good idea to call her after all.

"Blaine, honey, I'm going to be honest here, okay? I don't really have anything to lose," she adds with a wry smile. "I dont think you're being stupid, but I do think you're being unreasonable, and you know that, don't you?"

"I do," Blaine whispers, "yeah."

"That said, I can see why you're being this way, and I get why that situation would make you feel so insecure. Question, since that night, has Kurt said anything to give you reason to think he might not want you anymore, or that you don't satisfy him in some way?"

"No, no he's been...he's been so good, as he always is. He's told me over and over that I'm enough, and that I'm all he wants and needs. He says he wouldn't want me to...ahem...behave how those guys did anyway. They were pretty graphic."

"And that must have been awful for you, but think how Kurt must have felt too. Blaine, when he tells you you're enough, why don't you believe him?"

"Because I don't think that," he admits, "I just keep thinking that at some point in his life, he wanted that lifestyle, and he could want it again."

"Blaine, I might not know Kurt...or you...very well, but I know this. Since you were sixteen, you've known that Kurt is the only man you're ever going to want. I remember you two sitting in a restaurant with me, and telling me you wanted kids."

"Yeah, we do. I do. He's all I've ever wanted."

"So if you can be so sure of that, why can't he be so sure that he's never going to want that lifestyle again?"

"Um..."

"Forget I'm your mom for a minute, and tell me, does he satisfy you in bed?"

"Mom!" Blaine shrieks, rolling on the couch and hiding behind a cushion. "You can't ask me that!"

"Blaine, I'm trying to help you see reason. Come on."

"He..." Blaine pulls back the cushion so only his eyes show, but Angie knows he is on fire with embarrassment. "Yes," he manages weakly. "He does."

"So you can say that, but he can't claim the same about you, without it being false?"

"It's..." he drops the cushion, but still refuses to look at her, staring down at his hands instead. "He's done all this wild stuff and I...I'm more about romance, I guess."

"Which is exactly what anyone would want in a relationship," Angie reassures. "Blaine, sweetie, you have only ever been with Kurt. If you two hadn't met until you were done with college, no doubt you'd have some stories to tell too. Most people have. But when you two did then meet, and settle down, you'd find that the sex was a million times better, even if it wasn't wild and experimental, because it was with someone you love. It becomes less about chasing your own pleasure, and more about wanting to bring pleasure to your partner. It's like...how can I say this? It's like, if you're with a one night stand, you do things that you know will satisfy you. When you're with someone you love, you want them to seek you out, to get to know you. It really is making love, because it's about sharing your bodies together. I'll bet you and Kurt know each other's ticklish spots, or what makes the other one weak. You don't get that with a quick fling."

"Please stop talking," Blaine moans. "This is excruciating."

"No, because this is important. Blaine, I'm not part of your relationship, but I'd guess that for Kurt, the first time you two went to bed together was probably more nerve wracking and held more meaning than anything that he'd done before. Hell, probably your first kiss was worth more than anything else he had ever done. He loves you, Blaine. You two might not be married, but you've still made a very real and honest commitment to each other by living together, and openly saying your future is as a couple. You need to let this go, because otherwise it will eat you up. You say you want marriage and babies, and that you love him with all your heart, but you can't forgive a few dumb moments from his past?"

"No I can, I can forgive that. I just don't know if I can ever...y'know...be intimate like that with him again, without worrying that I'm awful."

"I think you can," Angie says encouragingly. "Because I think you know, deep down, exactly how much pleasure you both get from those times together. Take it slow, but you'll get there, really."

"Can we stop talking about it now?" Blaine asks meekly. "This is seriously the most embarrassing conversation I have ever, ever had."

Angie laughs, drawing Blaine close so his head rests on her shoulder. "Yep. You're Carl Anderson's son alright. He was afraid to tell anyone I was pregnant," she laughs. "He kept saying 'But they'll know we had sex!'"

"Mom!"

"What? I'm not a robot."

"You just like...had it that one time though, right? To get me?"

Angie pulls back to look at him, her sweet, shy and bashful son, and she gives a solemn nod. "Yes, Blaine, of course."

"Good." He stops, giving her a sideways glance and a small smile. "Thank you for coming."

"Anytime." She shrugs, looking down at her hands. "To be honest, I surprised myself, but I'm glad I did."

"It was exactly what I needed. We should make the effort to talk more."

"I know," she sighs, and is elated when Blaine rests his head on her shoulder again. He was always an affectionate little boy, and she's seen that affection with Burt and Kurt, but not with her for years. She lets her hand come up to rub over his cheek briefly, then lets it rest on his leg instead.

"Will we see you over the holidays? Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know," she admits. "It's hard because there's Spencer and the boys, and then there's you... I'd rather be with you," she confesses. "I had such a good time last year."

"Me too. It was a bit rough at times, but we still had fun. I'd like it if we could see you for something though. Christmas?"

"How about New Year?" Angie asks.

"That could work."

"I could fly to Ohio, if Burt doesn't mind, or come here...It falls on a weekend, so I can easily tell Spencer I'm spending it with girlfriends."

Blaine sits up to look at her. "You don't tell him you see me?"

"I can't," she says sadly. "It's just easier... I'm not ashamed of you."

"I know that," Blaine says evenly. "I just find it sad, that's all."

"Yes, well... see what a good man you have in Kurt? Treasure him."

Blaine settles down again, knowing she won't discuss her home life, and knowing that for today at least, he will have to let things lie. "I will," he says, taking her hand in his. "I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

Kurt unlocks the door to the apartment, feeling tired to the depths of his bones. He's praying Blaine isn't home, because he needs to sleep, and he feels unable to do that while he's there and the awkward atmosphere between them prevails. Only Blaine is there, standing in the living room, which is dimly lit with candles. The furniture is pushed back against the walls, and on the floor is a large rug, a picnic of sorts spread out on it, and a bottle of wine with two glasses.

"What's this?"

"Well," Blaine takes a step forward, and it is only then that Kurt notices he's dressed in nice maroon pants, and Kurt's favorite light blue shirt. He also wears a bow tie, naturally, but no shoes or socks, which makes Kurt smile inside. "I can't cook as well as you," Blaine says quietly, and he gestures to the food behind him. "So I figured I'd take you on a picnic, but then I remembered it's October and not exactly warm out, plus it's getting dark, so... .so I went with an indoor picnic. I hope that's okay."

"It's um...yeah," Kurt says, but he refuses to get his hopes up and wonder what all this means, he just kicks off his shoes and throws his jacket on the couch. "It's good."

"My mom came today," Blaine says softly.

"Huh? She did?"

"Yeah. I uh... I called her, and um she...offered to come up."

"Why did you call her?"

"Because this thing between us is eating me alive, and I needed to...talk at someone, I guess. I didn't think that was fair to dad, so I called her."

"Great," Kurt says flatly. "So now she knows what a floozy her son has for a boyfriend."

"No, it's not like that at all. She doesn't know anything, only that you have a bit of a checkered history, but no details of what was said that night. I wouldn't ever sell you out like that."

"Hmm. Well, thank you, I guess," Kurt shrugs, and then he doesn't know what to say, because it's so awkward and uncomfortable that he just wants to turn tail and run.

"I'm sorry," Blaine is suddenly saying, taking another step closer and reaching for his hand. "I really am so incredibly sorry for the way I reacted, and the way I couldn't deal with any of it."

Kurt shrugs, looking down at their joined hands. "S'okay."

"No it's not, because you wanna know something I remembered? Way back, when I first met you, I remember thinking how sad it was that you didn't respect yourself, and all I wanted was for you to find someone who made you see how wonderful you are, even if that someone didn't turn out to be me. I mean, I wanted it to be me, obviously, but I just wanted you to know how brilliantly special you are, and just how much you're worth. Not only have I realized that is exactly how you make me feel, but I also realize that by freezing you out over something that happened way before we met, I'm basically saying that I don't respect the person you've become. And I do, really. I do respect you, and I love you and I cherish being with you every day of my life. You make me feel beautiful, Kurt, inside and out. My fantasy is you, because you make me feel so alive and so loved and safe... and you said I make you feel safe too, well this past week I haven't done that at all, I've made you feel worthless and ashamed, and I am really, truly sorry for that."

Kurt doesn't realize he's crying, until he blinks and two tears fall, but he gives a small nod and continues to stare down at their hands, until Blaine gently lifts his chin with one finger so they're eye to eye.

"What we have is always gonna be a million times better than anything you or I could ever have with anyone else," Blaine tells Kurt sincerely. "Even if it all ended right now, I'd never ever forget the way that you loved me, and the way you have given yourself so completely to this relationship. I don't know why or how I thought meaningless flings could ever compare, or that you would ever want that over what we have, but I know you, and I know that even though we are very different to one another, we both want this relationship more than anything else in our lives, right?"

"So right," Kurt whispers, blinking again. "So, _so_ right."

"As for...other stuff, well, in quite possibly the most hellish conversation I have ever had to endure with my mom, she made me realize what I guess I've known all along, that sex is a million times better when it's with someone you love. I'm never going to experience a one night stand with a virtual stranger, and I'd never want to in order to compare, but when you tell me it's so much better with me, I believe you, because I know how your eyes shine, and I know that you kiss above my hip every time to make me laugh. I know that you really do relax and give yourself to me, to being with me, and I also know that for each of our firsts, you were just as nervous, if not more so, than me. Also, something I thought of this afternoon while I was out getting all this food, and something I should have realized from the start; you're a big mouth. If you weren't satisfied, you'd tell me about it."

"Ha!" Kurt laughs, and Blaine notices that his tears have stopped and his eyes are shining again. "Well there is that, I guess." He lets Blaine slide his hands to his waist, pulling him close.

"I love you, Kurt."

"I love you too, and thank you," he says, his arms draping over his shoulders to play with his curls. "For all you said. It was like...exactly the apology I needed to hear, and then some. But I need you to kiss me, please. I've been missing you so much."

Blaine leans close, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face against Kurt's cheek, breathing him in. When he speaks, his voice is low, soft with love and longing. "I might not be able to stop."

Kurt doesn't reply, just turns his head to let their lips graze together. Both sigh, and Blaine opens his eyes almost in surprise, as if he and Kurt had never kissed before, and then he surges forward, closing the small gap between them as his hands come up, one to slide into Kurt's hair, the other to splay across his back and draw him close.

He hears Kurt breathe in sharply through his nose, and then his small, soft growl of pleasure. Suddenly hungry with a desire he worried he would never feel again, Blaine dares to run his tongue along Kurt's lip, thrilled when he kisses back just as desperately, and sinks to his knees, bringing Blaine with him.

He doesn't stop there either, lying back on the soft blanket spread out on the floor, opening his legs for Blaine to slot between. "Why?" Blaine gasps, as their kiss breaks and he stares down at him. "Why did I ever stop kissing you? What was I thinking?"

Kurt bites one swollen, perfectly pink lip, and reaches up, his hand coming to the back of Blaine's neck. "Eh, you're a bit of an idiot sometimes."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Welcome," Kurt grins. "Now shut up and kiss me again."

Blaine eagerly claims his mouth again, kissing him hungrily, spurred on by the feel of Kurt growing hard against his thigh. His tongue pushes further into Kurt's mouth, seeking him out, demanding more, and then he remembers.

"Food!" he says, breaking away and panting hard. "Food. We should...food. Eat."

"We should." And really, Kurt does agree only...oh, then Blaine's hand distractedly arrives under his shirt, his strong smooth palm settling on his side, and Kurt suddenly forgets all about sustenance. "Or you could undress me? If you wanted to?"

"I could...I could do that," Blaine says with a shy grin. "Yeah. If that...yeah." He stops short of saying 'if that's okay with you,' because he can blatantly see that it is, and he leans in, kissing Kurt's lips softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt whispers, lying back down again and smiling, as Blaine lies next to him and starts on his buttons. "Are you okay?"

"I'm like...yeah." Blaine breaks off, giving a breathy laugh, as he studies Kurt in the candlelight. "Yeah, I'm more than okay. Thankful, that you're so forgiving."

"Meh, you never stopped loving me, you just needed to deal with some stuff, and that's okay. God knows you've had to wait me out on a few things before."

"I'm just...gonna kiss you again," Blaine says, but instead of heading for his lips, Blaine pushes Kurt's shirt open, and kisses a trail down his chest, coming to rest with his hands on his belt buckle.

"Maybe, when I'm undressed, I could turn my attentions to you?" Kurt asks flirtatiously, letting his finger trail along Blaine's jaw.

"Um...maybe..."

Kurt worries he's gone too far, and pushes himself up onto his elbows to look down at him. "No?"

"It's not that. It's um...I might be wearing your underwear."

"What?" Kurt cries, laughing in disbelief. He can see Blaine blushing in the dim light, as he kneels between his legs and looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. "Why the hell would you be wearing my underwear?"

"I um...I wanted to be close to you."

"Well you can't get much closer than that," Kurt laughs, but Blaine looks up with a silly grin.

"I think we're about to."

"Goofball," Kurt laughs, then leans up and kisses him tenderly. "I wanna see."

"What?"

"Stand up for me, and take your pants off. I wanna see you in my underwear. But you'd better not have stretched them."

Blaine stands and looks down at him, his hands paused on his fly. "Are you saying my ass is fat?"

"I'm saying your ass is glorious," Kurt teases, settling back on his elbows. "Now show me."

Rather than feeling nervous and on display, Blaine just feels hopelessly turned on by the loving way in which Kurt is looking at him. He quickly takes his bow tie and shirt off, then lowers his pants. He hadn't thought much of it this morning, when he pulled on a pair of Kurt's tight black boxer briefs, just that they were Kurt's, and he wanted to wear them for some inexplicable reason. He only chose a tight pair because that's the kind Kurt wears most often, but the way Kurt bites at his lower lip and his eyes rake over Blaine's body, makes him rather glad he did.

"Oh my god that's hot," Kurt whispers, and Blaine stays standing, looking down at him as his erection twitches in anticipation. "So hot."

"It wasn't supposed to be hot," Blaine tells him honestly. "It was supposed to be just me...and the underwear."

"You don't even know how hot you are," Kurt continues, his voice low and heavy with want. "And that just makes you hotter."

"Oh god," Blaine whispers, becoming more and more desperate. "Kurt..."

"Yeah?" Kurt gets to his knees, pulling his open shirt off and letting it fall behind him. "Is that okay? You like me telling you you're hot? Hot and beautiful, Blaine. So beautiful."

"I..." Blaine starts, but he forgets words entirely when Kurt comes closer, his hands grabbing the backs of his thighs, as he kneels on the floor and looks up at him. "Oh..."

"You want me to touch you, Blaine?"

"Yes," Blaine breathes, feeling like his legs could give out at any moment. "Yes." He cries out, when Kurt's hand runs over the front of the briefs, squeezing lightly. "Oh god Kurt, your hand...your... hand."

Eyes closed, head thrown back, Blaine looks so desperate for more, that Kurt has to bite back a loud moan. "Look at you," he whispers. "I love you, Blaine. This is so good, huh?"

"Yes," Blaine whimpers, gasping when Kurt dips one finger under the waistband.

"Look at how hard you're breathing," he whispers in awe, as Blaine's hands slide into his hair. "Can I suck you? Please? Will you come on my face?"

"Oh fuck!" Blaine cries loudly, when Kurt lowers the underwear and at last his aching cock is free. "Yes, but you should be warned that..." He breaks off when Kurt runs his tongue the entire length of him before sucking lightly on the head. "Close," he gasps. "Sorry...so close."

"Don't be sorry," Kurt says tenderly, nuzzling his face against his groin. "I want you to come. I want to feel it, hot and dripping on my face."

Blaine makes some kind of noise, possibly an attempt at Kurt's name, then grips his shoulders hard when Kurt takes him in his mouth again, deeper this time, his hands still tightly gripping his thighs.

Kurt pulls back and looks up. Blaine looks utterly wrecked, and all it takes is one jerk of his hand for Blaine to shoot hard all over his cheeks and lips, gasping his way through it, until he gives one big shudder and is still. "Fuck," he says quietly, still panting for breath. "Just...Jesus fuck."

"Sailor Blaine returns," Kurt laughs softly, and Blaine nearly dies all over again when he opens his eyes to see Kurt licking his lips, traces of white still on his chin. He kneels, running his finger through it and offering it to Kurt, who sucks it hungrily into his mouth before drawing Blaine into a hard kiss.

"Wait there," Blaine whispers against his lips, then scurries into the bedroom and returns with lube and a rather happy grin.

"What's that for?"

"Well." He settles back on the rug, pulling Kurt down to lie in his arms. "I thought maybe I could tease you a bit, until I'm ready to ride you."

"Oh my god, yes," Kurt says quickly, hurriedly unbuckling his pants and pulling them and his underwear off together.

"Okay. Uh..sit there," Blaine decides, not really having a clue how to proceed. "And close your eyes. Oh, and open your mouth."

Kurt does as he's told, which surprises Blaine, and he smiles when a strawberry is rubbed along his lower lip, before biting down hard. "S'good," he says through a mouthful of fruit, and Blaine leans in to kiss his lips.

"Uh-uh," Kurt says, pushing at his shoulder. He keeps his eyes closed but shakes his head. "That's not strawberries."

"I know but..."

"There's a whole bowlful over there, I saw them. Now gimme."

"Kurt," Blaine sighs, giving in and grabbing the bowl. "It's supposed to be romantic."

"Forget romance, I want food."

"Fine." Blaine laughs, and Kurt opens his eyes, happy that they are back at ease with one another.

"You love me."

"Mmm-hmm." Blaine pops another strawberry into his mouth, before taking one for himself. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Hey!"

"Wine?"

"Yeah, why not?"

* * *

><p>"Have we really been just lying here naked for five hours?" Kurt asks in disbelief.<p>

"Well not quite. You came home at six, my guess is by the time we had finished...y'know, or I had finished, it was maybe seven? And now it's eleven thirty, so...four and a half."

Kurt gives a quiet laugh, his head resting over Blaine's heart, as they lie on their backs and stare up at the ceiling.

"I was ready a while back, by the way," Blaine adds, and Kurt laughs again.

"I know, but then wine, and food...lovely food."

"That bread was nice."

"Too nice," Kurt agrees. "We need to buy that again. I still want to, by the way, in case you were wondering."

"Still want to buy bread?"

"Still want to have you ride me."

"Oh." Blaine shifts out from under Kurt, until he's hovering over him, propped on one elbow. "Bring it."

Kurt giggles, drawing Blaine down into a kiss, which is really just them laughing into one another's mouths, a combination of the shared bottle of wine and just the heady delight of being with one another again.

"This is why it's so much better, isn't it?" Blaine asks, moving to kiss along Kurt's jaw. "Because we can laugh and be silly and it's fun."

"That's part of it, yeah," Kurt agrees, and he flips them, holding Blaine's arms above his head. "Because this," he whispers, running his tongue along Blaine's hipbone, which makes him squirm and laugh, "Is wonderful, because before you, I'd never cared enough to find those places on anyone else. Because when things don't work out, when we haven't got the right angle or whatever, we can both laugh about it and it doesn't matter. I don't need to try and cover up any mistakes, because we make them as a team anyway, and yeah...we can be silly about it all, or serious or down and dirty, and each and every time is more perfect and wonderful than the time before."

He kisses a trail back up Blaine's chest, reaching up to lock their fingers together. "That, and you're my very best friend."

"I am?" Blaine asks, elated.

"Of course."

"It's good that you're mine too then, isn't it?"

"It really is," Kurt teases, his face gone soft with love and affection, as he settles on top of Blaine and kisses him deeply. "I love you so much."

"Hmm." Blaine smoothes his hands over Kurt's naked back, moving lower until he can squeeze the soft flesh of his ass. "You too."

"Do that again," Kurt murmurs, his eyes fluttering closed as he grinds down against Blaine.

"This?" he asks, squeezing, and Kurt nods, burying his head into the crook of Blaine's neck to kiss there.

Their arousal grows as they grind together, and press light kisses over each others bodies, until Kurt rolls onto his back and pulls Blaine on top of him. "Let me taste you," Blaine murmurs, already traveling lower, and Kurt gasps in pleasure at the first touch of his lips there, working over him, making him wet before taking him deep in his throat.

"Oh shit!" Kurt cries. He can already feel it, that familiar tight coil of heat building inside of him, but he bites it back down, not wanting it to be over. Blaine knows him so well, and that is yet another reason, Kurt realizes, but he can't formulate words right now, especially not when he looks down to see Blaine looking up at him, with a devilish gleam in his eyes, as he pulls off and runs his tongue into Kurt's slit to taste him. "Fuck it Blaine! You..I'm..." he pushes him away weakly, happy when he comes up to kiss his lips, giving a small laugh.

"What?" Blaine asks innocently.

"You know what. It was nearly all over when you did that."

"I know you like it."

"I do," Kurt confirms. "But I need more right now."

Blaine reaches for the lube but pauses, sitting astride Kurt and looking down at him. "I'm gonna do it to myself, and you can watch."

Kurt says nothing, just folds his arms behind his head to watch and see. Blaine gives a small nod, as if confirming to himself that he really can do this, and uncaps the lube, and that is when Kurt pushes himself up onto his elbows, taking the tube from him before sitting up properly with Blaine's legs wrapped around his waist. "No you're not," he says sweetly.

"What? Why?"

"Because you don't need to prove anything, Blaine. You've never done that before, and if you wanna put on a show for me sometime, then I'm never gonna complain, but right now? This is about me and you reconnecting, and I can tell that you're not really comfortable with the idea."

"I..." Blaine pauses, then gives a small shake of his head. "No, I'm not."

"I, however, am very comfortable with the thought of giving you pleasure with my fingers," Kurt says with a smile, as his hand trails backward, "and I think you are too."

"I do...oh, I do like that, yeah," Blaine gasps. "A lot."

He teases Blaine with his thumb, pressing and pushing until it slips gently inside, and then he uses his fingers, stretching, reaching, until he hits the spot and Blaine writhes on his hand, moaning loudly. "Your noises drive me crazy," Kurt admits, nipping at his neck. "To see you like this...fuck, Blaine, do you know how horny it makes me? Knowing I'm the only one who gets to ever see you like that?"

Blaine kisses him then pulls back, gently nudging Kurt until he's lying down. "Hmm," he says, as starts to sink down onto Kurt's cock. "About as horny as it makes me knowing that there will never be another for either of us."

Kurt's grin is dazzling, so happy and full of love, that Blaine just has to lean down and kiss him, slowly undulating on top of him until he can stand it no longer, and has to sit upright for Kurt to grip his thighs. They are sweaty, gasping for breath, and desperate to hit their orgasm together. Totally perfect, Blaine thinks to himself.

"Hell yes," Kurt gasps, lifting his hips off the floor, as Blaine rides him harder.

Blaine doesn't even realize he's spoken aloud, he just rests his hands over Kurt's, and continues to ride Kurt's cock like he was born for that purpose.

"I've gotta let go," Kurt cries, arching his back in pleasure. "Please come on me, Blaine, please!"

It's easy for Blaine to obey when Kurt's hand wraps around him and rapidly brings him to orgasm, and the second Kurt feels the evidence on his stomach he all but explodes, riding up with a loud yell as he releases over and over inside of Blaine, who stays upright for as long as he can before collapsing over Kurt's chest.

"Oh my..."

"God," Kurt finishes for him. "Holy shit that was hot."

A good half hour passes, maybe longer, but eventually Blaine moves, when Kurt has long since withdrawn, and he rolls onto his side, curling his naked body around a sated and satisfied Kurt. "Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Um...this might sound really silly, but are we good?"

"I'd say so," Kurt answers with a laugh, and he turns in Blaine's arms to face him. "Are you worried?"

"No. I just...I guess I thought we were going to end up talking this out for hours, but we didn't."

"Well, we can if you want, but for me? All I needed to hear was everything that you said, and like I told you, I missed you. I needed to be held in your arms. I needed to touch you, to kiss you...I want you to be good though, I need you to feel okay with it all."

"I do," Blaine says with a nod. "I really do. I mean, I was upset, and I know I freaked out on you, but I always knew one thing, and that was that I never wanted us to end. Breaking up with you was never an option. I think that's why I found it so hard. I love you endlessly."

"I know you do."

"I am so incredibly sorry, for hurting you. That was totally wrong."

"You know what? It's human nature to hurt others from time to time, whether it's intentional or not. That doesn't matter, it's how we work past it that counts, and I think..." he pauses, kissing the tip of Blaine's nose and cupping his cheek. "I think we've gotten over it just fine."


	12. Chapter 12

Blaine is excited. Not only are he and Kurt right back on track, but after a wonderful Thanksgiving back home with Burt, he and Kurt are now preparing to host Christmas in their apartment for the very first time. Not only that, but they're hosting New Years too, when Angie will be coming to stay with them.

Their tree is already in, an ordeal which left Kurt screeching about the walls getting scratched, Blaine getting hit in the eye with a branch, and then an emergency trip to the hardware store for a bigger tree stand, but by the end of it, they were laughing and happy, and their larger than anticipated tree took over a good portion of the living room and was decorated beautifully.

That had been yesterday, and Kurt had gone off to work this morning instructing Blaine that he was not, under any circumstances, to continue decorating the place without him. That was fine while Blaine was in class, and for the first hour of his being home, but it was nearly seven now and Kurt still wasn't back, and knowing Kurt, he would insist on eating when he returned, even though tinsel and twinkle lights should clearly take precedence.

"Hey."

His voice is so quiet that Blaine only turns around because he thinks he's mistaken, but no, Kurt is there, shaking rain from his hair and unbuttoning his jacket.

"Hey tiger." Blaine saunters over to him, taking his coat and kissing his lips. "Okay, so I know you're gonna be hungry, but I was too impatient to cook, so it's kinda just...well, not kind of, it is, club sandwiches. But good club sandwiches," he rambles happily, hanging Kurt's coat on the laundry rack near the fire to dry. "And chips, which I totally didn't eat handfuls of as I was setting them out. No way." He laughs again, and takes Kurt's boots and bag, apparently not noticing that Kurt still stands there, motionless and seemingly stuck just inside the front door.

"So, beautiful," Blaine says brightly, as he offers his hand. "Let's eat."

"I need to talk to you."

It is then that Blaine stops, disturbed by the flat monotone of his voice, and he tugs Kurt into the kitchen and sits him down in a chair. "What's wrong? Did I do something?"

"What? No! Oh, Blaine, no. Really. You are just as wonderful as ever. It's um...work."

"Bad day?"

"No, no, good day, actually. I got called into Sarah's office and I was worried, y'know? But actually, it was just so she could tell me she's really happy with my work, and to introduce me to Kate."

"Oh, okay," Blaine says, confused. "Well that's good. Who's Kate?"

"She works in Runway."

"What's that? Like another magazine?"

"Another department," Kurt says with an indulgent smile. "Dealing with runway fashion, organizing shoots, attending shows, that sort of thing."

"Um...don't you work in fashion now?"

"I work in fashion news."

"And running is different?"

"Runway," Kurt corrects, unable to resist kissing the back of Blaine's hand. He loves that Blaine shows an interest in his work, even though he hasn't got the first clue. "It's more high end. The stuff you see in the stores is the stuff I write about, like I might write a piece about affordable shoes, or party fashion on a budget. There's like...no budget in high end fashion. It's the outrageous stuff you see on the catwalks, which then gets adapted for the stores. It's..."

"Oh!" Blaine cries as he remembers. "That's what you want to do! The fashion shoot stuff."

"Yeah I do," Kurt smiles. "Runway really interests me, and it would appear that I interest them. They want me to transfer, starting in the New Year."

"Really? That's fantastic!" Blaine cries, and Kurt can see how happy he genuinely is for him, as he leans across and kisses him soundly on the mouth. "You are awesome. Oh my god, you're like...the best. You're going to be this posh fashion journalist and..."

"Blaine, hold up, because I don't think I can take it," Kurt says sadly. "I want to, but they want me to go to London for fashion week and I'm not...I don't think...I can."

"Huh? Are you insane? A week in London? Clothes?"

"It would be three weeks," Kurt clarifies, "in February."

"And?"

"What do you mean, and?" Kurt cries. "And you wouldn't be able to come, Blaine! I'd be working, and you'd have class."

"So?"

"So that's not fair to you, is it? Neither of us have ever been to England, and then I'd have been there and you wouldn't, and..."

"Kurt." Blaine cuts him off firmly, taking his hands in his. "Listen. This is an amazing opportunity. Not just the trip, but the whole transfer. You should be so proud of all you've achieved, Kurt, because they're coming and asking you to transfer, you're not even having to apply for this. Okay, so I won't be in London with you, but given how fashion week goes here in New York, that's probably just as well."

He smiles when Kurt gives a self deprecating laugh, and he moves from his chair to straddle him, leaning down and kissing his lips. "I love you, Kurt. I will miss you insanely, but it's three weeks. We can do this, and you will do this. It's important that you do. Hell, if they're gonna pay, I'd take them up on all offers of travel. If you get a chance to see the world, Kurt, don't turn it down. One day, you and I will do it all. Paris, Rome, London, Tokyo...we have our entire lives to take trips places...and a honeymoon too," he adds with a grin. "Now turn that frown upside down, tiger, and eat your damn sandwich, because you and I have got some decorating to do."

"I am happy, I guess, I just...I'm going to miss you, and..."

"And I'll miss you, but there will be masses of welcome home kisses and cuddles, and endless sex," he says, joining in with Kurt's laughter, "Seriously though Kurt, I am so proud of you. So incredibly proud."

"It feels a little surreal, you know? That good stuff could happen to someone like me. Look at this," he says, gesturing to the tree with its lights twinkling, and the fire glowing in the hearth. "I'm about to host Christmas with my boyfriend. Dad's coming to stay for ten whole days, your mom's coming, we're holding a New Year's party, I'm getting promoted...when did I get this lucky?" He sighs contentedly when Blaine kisses gently along his jaw, and he lets his eyes close in pleasure. "I know the answer, of course," he murmurs happily. "When I met you...and keep doing that please," he gasps, when Blaine sucks on his pulse point. "That...that's good."

"But you said we could decorate," Blaine laughs, pulling back with a pout. "Let's make a deal. Tonight we eat club sandwiches and decorate the apartment, and then tomorrow I'll take you out somewhere super fancy for a date- my way of congratulating you for being so wonderfully awesome at your job."

Kurt flushes pink with pleasure, unable to stop grinning at Blaine's words. "Yeah, I'd like that. See? Kurt Hummel gets lucky again."

* * *

><p>Two weeks later and a knock on the apartment door has Blaine tripping over his own feet in an effort to reach the door first, while Kurt deftly dives off the couch, leaps over Blaine who is sprawled on the floor, and pulls the door open to reveal Burt, standing there with a large suitcase and a whole stack of gifts. It is Blaine who flings himself into his arms first, with Kurt crushing in on top of him as Burt's arms come around them both.<p>

"My boys!" he booms loudly, kissing both of them in turn. "Ah my boys."

"How did you get up here without ringing the bell?" Kurt asks into Blaine's neck.

"Some nice fella let me in, said he knows who you two are, because you're always making out in the doorway."

"Brian," Kurt and Blaine chorus in unison, then they start laughing, as they think of all the times they fail to make it upstairs and Brian has to sidestep past them.

"Really?" Burt raises an eyebrow as he hauls his suitcase inside. "You two live together now, can't you be a little more restrained?"

"Nope," Kurt beams, carrying a stack of gifts to set under the tree. "Look at him. Could you resist?"

"Not even gonna answer ya," Burt says, shaking his head. "So. You two behaving yourselves? You good for money?"

"Daaad, I'm thirty one years old," Kurt whines, sounding anything but. "And Blaine is nearly twenty. We know how to look after ourselves. Wanna know what we do when you're not here?"

"Honestly?" Burt asks, as he settles on the couch. "No, I absolutely do not."

"Well we don't do that," Kurt snaps, while Blaine tries to hide in the Christmas tree. "Not all the time anyway. We're humdrum and boring and it suits us just fine. Blaine studies, I work, we pay our bills, clean the apartment, go grocery shopping...seriously dad, we know how to do this."

"I know that, I just...it's a little weird for me, that's all, to think that you don't need me anymore."

"Oh I wouldn't say that," Kurt says, and he settles on the couch next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. Blaine emerges from the tree, happy to join in on the other side, and the three of them sit there happy and content.

"I wonder where Brian goes all the time?" Blaine wonders aloud.

"I told you, I think he works nights," Kurt replies.

"Yeah, but he's always coming and going at different times."

"So are we," Kurt points out. "So are lots of people, probably, it's just that we notice Brian because we know who he is."

"True."

"Anyway," Kurt stands, leaning down to kiss Blaine's cheek and then his dad's, and loving that he is able to do that. "I'm going to start making dinner."

"So," Burt says, as soon as he and Blaine are alone. "You two all okay now?"

"What do you mean, now?"

"You had a...I don't know, a moment of sorts, I guess."

"We did, yeah," Blaine says slowly. "But it's all good now. How do you know about that anyway?"

"Your mom mentioned she came to visit."

"My mom?" Blaine sits upright in alarm. "You talk to my mom?"

"Yeah, why not? Not all the time," Burt adds, sensing that Blaine is upset. "But occasionally. She just said you'd called her all upset, and she'd come to visit. She was pleased, y'know? That you'd called her."

"It's not...I wanted to call you, but I didn't think it was fair," Blaine explains. "To put you in the middle like that."

"Kid, I don't care, really. If you call me, I'll try and help you out where I can, but equally, if you call your mom to talk about something, I think that's great too, you know? That's a big step in the right direction. Was she helpful?"

"Yeah, she was," Blaine muses, as he thinks back. "But as usual I haven't heard from her since then, other than her text to say she will come for New Years. Clearly you have," he adds with a pointed look.

"Oh come on," Burt laughs. "Don't look at me like that."

"If you ever...with my mom...I'll disown both of you."

"Oh Jesus Blaine! I wouldn't! No...Blaine, son, you are seriously mistaken if you think I have any intentions like that about Angie, because I really don't. I just want you and her to get along, and I want her to feel welcomed by us, you know? Like she can be a part of our family if she wants to. The Hummels can be a formidable force, even though there's only three of us, and I don't want her to always feel like the outsider, so when she calls to ask me about you, I welcome that call, okay? Nothing more, I can assure you."

"She calls you to ask about me? Why doesn't she call me? Does everyone think I'm a child?"

"No! It's not like that. She's called me twice since Portland, and that was back in July. Once was to ask if you really were as happy as you sounded when she had spoken to you, and I reassured her that was the case, and then once a week or so back, because she wanted to make sure you and Kurt were all good. That's when she mentioned there had been a falling out."

"Well we've fallen back in," Blaine snaps angrily. "And if she'd bothered to call me, she would have known that."

Burt sighs, leaning forward to pat his back. "I've upset you. I'm sorry."

"You haven't upset me." Blaine pauses, running a hand through his hair. "It's just...I don't know. Yeah, I called her, I was upset and I didn't know who to turn to. She was great, you know? Like really great, and I was glad I called her, but then...nothing. And it hurts to know that she can call you, but she can't call me."

"I think there's a lot she wants to say to you, but doesn't know how," Burt says gently. "I also think that she would like to check on your welfare more often, but feels like that would be unwelcome, so she calls me."

"Either that or jerk won't let her call."

"Possibly," Burt concedes. "But maybe, and this is a radical thought I know, but maybe you could call her a little more often? During the day, when she's at work, or on the weekends, maybe."

"I do call her."

"Blaine."

"Sometimes."

"When she arrives next week, I want you to do something for me," Burt starts, and Blaine groans and holds his head in his hands. "I want you to be the one to go to her, and not wait for her to awkwardly come to you. Go give her the hug you want to, but are too stubborn to give."

"Am not stubborn."

"Blaine," Burt says firmly. "Do you want everyone to think you're a child? Because you're acting like one right now. Do as your dad says, please."

"And your boyfriend!" comes a voice from the kitchen, and Blaine gives in and laughs.

"Fine. For you two, I will."

And he does, when Angie arrives the day before New Years Eve. He pulls open the door and hugs her right away, and although she is clearly taken off guard, she laughs and hugs back tightly, even kissing his cheek, and Blaine thinks maybe his dad did have a point after all, because things are definitely easier right from the start.

There is nearly a stand up fight between all of them over who will take the couch, with Kurt loudly protesting that he is not giving up his bed for anyone, while Blaine declares they will. Still, it is Burt who wins out in the end, insisting that Angie has the guest room, and he will take the couch for the remainder of his stay.

While Blaine and Kurt are undeniably happy to have Angie and Burt visiting them, it does prove to be quite crowded, and by the time dinner is finished, Kurt is reaching his boiling point.

"You," he hisses at Blaine, as they clear the plates from the table. "Kitchen. Now."

Blaine follows, only to have his plates taken from his hands and dumped on the counter, before Kurt is in his arms. "Oh god," he whispers, while Blaine holds him tight. "This is driving me insane."

"What is?" Blaine asks, wholly distracted by the feel of Kurt's waist beneath his hands.

"You are, or rather, not being able to do anything with you."

"You want sex now?" Blaine asks in alarm. "Can't you wait until bedtime? We can be super quiet."

"Ooh, well that's progress, since you usually refuse when anyone's on the couch," Kurt teases. "But actually, I just meant not being able to kiss you properly, or hold you like I want to. I guess living together we've gotten used to being able to show a certain level of affection."

"I still kiss you," Blaine protests. "And I can't really hold you when we're eating or sitting at the table to play cards."

"I know, but when we're alone we do little things, like you walk past and kiss my neck, or I might kiss your tummy when we're watching TV, we can't do that with them here, and it's been steadily getting to me since dad arrived a week ago. Now it's reached its peak."

Blaine giggles like a kid, and Kurt smacks his backside in response. "Kiss me?" he asks, and Blaine needs no further invitation, cupping Kurt's cheek and leaning in.

"You're beautiful and I love you," he whispers, before closing the gap, letting his lips graze over Kurt's. He understands what Kurt means, as his touch becomes firmer and the kiss deepens. Having been distracted with Christmas, and now the arrival of his mom, Blaine hadn't really had time to miss the feel of Kurt's lips on his until now. They had still been making out in bed at night, but now, as Blaine lets his hands wander down to the back of Kurt's pants, he realizes they actually haven't had sex since Christmas eve, and yes, Kurt is totally right, their playful affection which is part of their everyday life, has been forgotten in favor of keeping their parents entertained.

He just about manages to stifle his moan when he feels Kurt's tongue brush against his, but he needs more, and without breaking the kiss, he lifts Kurt easily to sit him on the counter, slotting between his legs for his hands to massage over his thighs.

"Did you guys need any...oh!" Angie stops in her tracks, mortified at having walked in on her son and his boyfriend making out heavily. Spinning on her heel, she leaves immediately, and Blaine sighs and bows his head onto Kurt's chest.

"Wait for it," he says quietly.

"Any second now," Kurt murmurs into his hair.

Sure enough, Burt arrives, takes one look at their positions, and throws his hands up in the air. "Really?"

"Yes really," Kurt snaps. "I'm allowed to kiss him if I want to!"

"I know that, but we're sitting in there waiting for you two to load that dishwasher and come play poker. Blaine, your mom got quite the shock."

"We're not kids!" Blaine cries, loud enough that he knows Angie will hear too. "This is our house. We've been totally restrained for over a week now."

"Well, we're only here for three more nights, sunshine," Burt laughs. "You'll get your privacy back then."

"I know." Blaine meekly ducks his head with a small nod, as Kurt hops from the counter. "I'm sorry. We'll get these loaded and be right out."

"Sucks," Kurt mutters, as Burt leaves the room, but Blaine tugs on his hand, a finger to his lips as he glances out into the living room, then ushers Kurt silently to the front door.

"What are you...?" Kurt whispers in disbelief, as Blaine closes the front door softly behind them, but he shakes his head and takes Kurt's hand once more.

"Not here."

He runs with Kurt along the hall to the elevator, patiently standing still until it opens into the lobby, where he tugs him outside into the cold night.

"Blaine! It's freezing out here!" Kurt cries. "What..." But he doesn't get to finish, because Blaine kisses him hard. Standing there, in their usual make out spot, blocking the doorway, Kurt stumbles back against the wall, and just gives himself over to Blaine with pleasure.

Blaine tries, several times, to pull back and say something to Kurt, but each time he does, he sees Kurt standing there, his breath puffing out in front of him, his eyes shining in the dark, his cheeks rosy, and he just needs to kiss him again and again.

"Evening, you two," Brian says cheerfully. "Just coming by there..." He sidesteps them deftly, well used to arriving home and seeing them in that spot. "It's cold out, mind you, and you don't have jackets. Don't stay out too long."

Blaine stops kissing Kurt just then, turning to him and offering a dazzling grin. "Hey Brian. How are you?"

"Oh, good, good, you know," he says politely, as he enters the building. Kurt gives Blaine a shy grin, and they step inside after him. "Oh, coming in?"

"Yeah, we uh...we snuck out. We have family visiting, and..."

"Yes, you do remind me of my husband and I," Brian laughs. "We used to sneak off whenever we could. Most of our extended family just thought we were roommates anyhow, we didn't dare tell them."

"You're usually going out at this time," Kurt remarks, as they wait for the

elevator. "Not coming home."

"Ah, well, early tonight."

"Work?" Blaine asks, because suddenly, he really needs to know where Brian goes.

"Work? Oh, no," Brian smiles. "I work as a computer engineer from home. No, I um...I go to kiss my husband goodnight."

Both Blaine and Kurt stop dead, not really knowing what to say to that, and Blaine puts an arm around Kurt's shoulders, drawing him near, both sensing one another's need to be close.

"He uh...he has Alzheimers," Brian clarifies, as they step into the elevator. "I cared for him at home for a long time, but then...well, he became too sick to stay at home. He was uh...he would escape in the middle of the day and get lost, or do dangerous things, and it became impossible for me to cope with him, so... well," he stops, taking a deep sigh, as the elevator doors open to the third floor, and Kurt and Blaine step out with him, not even noticing they're in the wrong place. "Well," Brian carries on, "We sold our beautiful house, I bought this place, and Loic moved into a nursing home for people with dementia. He's older than me, and not technically my husband, since marriage wasn't legal, but... well, he's seventy five, and I'm almost sixty, and we've been together for forty years now."

"Loic," Kurt muses. "French?"

"Yes," Brian smiles. "We met on the banks of the Seine. He was a painter. It was all terribly romantic. I didn't even know I was gay until I met him. We embarked on a torrid and passionate three month affair, then I had to come back to the US to finish my studies. Six weeks later there was a knock on my front door, and there he was. We didn't look back."

"Blaine is totally crying," Kurt smiles, without even looking at his boyfriend.

"Hey! It's romantic!" Blaine protests, as he wipes at his eyes, and Brian laughs. "I'm sorry though," Blaine tells him sincerely. "That he's...that you both have to go through that."

"Oh it's nasty, I won't deny it," Brian sighs. "Sometimes, when I get there, he'll know who I am. I try and visit at the same times every day, in the morning for an hour, then I go after lunch and read to him, or take him out if he's up to it, then I go back each evening to kiss him goodnight. Sometimes he knows me," he says with a smile. "Sometimes he can remember me as the twenty year old boy I was, and he gets confused, unable to work out why I look so old, not realizing he's no spring chicken himself," he laughs. "But other times he doesn't recognize me at all. Unfortunately, that's becoming more common. I love him though, you know?" Brian asks sadly. "I love him so much and he's my everything. My soulmate. I would never give up on him."

"Um...if we can ever be of any help," Kurt offers. "Even if you just want some coffee, our apartment is..." He stops, turning around on the spot. "Oh. Not here, evidently. Next floor down. Two D."

"The biggest help you two can be, is to carry on exactly as you are," Brian says, resting a hand on Kurt's arm. "I come home and see you two huddled in the doorway together, and it warms my heart to see a young couple so caught up in their romance."

"Oh, he's young, I'm not," Kurt laughs. "Nineteen and thirty one. He's nearly twenty though!" he feels the need to add, but Brian laughs loudly and pats Kurt's arm again.

"Thirty one? That is stupidly young," he says, still laughing. "Now you boys better run back to your family, who probably think you're up to no good in the laundry room."

"Um, we're having a party," Blaine says quickly. He doesn't even look at Kurt, because he knows he's thinking the same. "Tomorrow. I say party, more a small gathering of people. Us, our dad, my mom, a few friends...would you like to join us?"

"Oh, well, I was going to see the New Year in with Loic, because I worry this will be his last one, so..."

"Come by first," Kurt suggests. "have a drink with us, and then go see Loic?"

"I could do that," Brian realizes. "Yes. Yes, I will. Thank you, both of you."

He looks...sadly elated, is the phrase Blaine comes up with, as they take the stairs down to their floor.

"Huh?"

"Brian," Blaine says to Kurt. "Sadly elated. Like he was happy we had asked, but sad that he has to go to these things alone."

"Yeah." Kurt stops outside their apartment door, to take Blaine in his arms and hold him tight. "I love you, puppy. I hope you know that."

Blaine bows his head onto Kurt's shoulder, reluctant to let go, but knowing that their moment will have to end soon. "I do, Tiger. I love you too."

* * *

><p>They get teased endlessly, of course, by Burt and Angie, who knew they had snuck out after waiting five minutes and then invading the kitchen, but neither one of them cares. They play poker, and although they are placed adjacent to each other at the square table, Kurt keeps one hand on Blaine's thigh for the whole evening, letting him know he's there, though the feel of Blaine's leg under his hand brings just as much comfort to him.<p>

They lie in bed late that night, facing each other, their hands joined between them. "You okay?" Blaine asks quietly, mindful of Burt on the couch just on the other side of the wall.

"Yeah," Kurt sighs, then he studies Blaine for a long time, trying to take in every feature, every little line, trying to remember the way his bottom lip seems to glisten in the dark, the way his fingernails are cut perfectly square, and his hands feel strong yet smooth in his own. His beautiful eyelashes, the way they fan down over his cheeks as he blinks, then lift to reveal those wondrous eyes, which Kurt likes to stare into as he's doing now. Will he always remember? When he's old and gray, will he know what it felt like to lie opposite the man he loved for so many years?

For Blaine, as he studies Kurt in return, a sudden realization of exactly what forever means washes over him, and he blinks and studies some more. The way he loves Kurt now, the way every day he falls for him more and more, the way he desires his body in a physical manner, craves his touch and to be able to touch him in return...one day that will give way to a deep rooted companionship, which is already beginning to blossom in their relationship now.

One day, they'll raise a family. They'll hold a child that is uniquely theirs. Maybe more than one, who knows? They'll attend play dates, and parent teacher meetings, graduations, and then they'll wave their babies off to college, and marvel that they're not babies anymore. And when all of that is done, when the dust has settled, and the babies have babies of their own, Kurt and Blaine will be there, together, forever.

"I'm always gonna take care of you, you know," Blaine whispers, hoarse with emotion. "If anything ever...like...or you got sick I'd...you know, I'd look after you, I'd never stop loving you."

Kurt moves closer, pressing his face into Blaine's neck and shifting his arms to his shoulders. "I know. I don't even have to ask, or wonder, because I know."

"Same. I know you'll always look after me."

"It's like...I can see it now," Kurt murmurs, wrapping a leg around Blaine's waist, in an effort to be closer still. "Exactly what forever means."

"And?"

Kurt lifts his head and finds Blaine's lips, in a soft kiss full of promise. "And there's nobody else I would want to share that with."


	13. Chapter 13

Brian arrives the next night, and is introduced to Santana and her roommates, along with the rest of the guests; a few of Blaine's friends from college and some of Kurt's coworkers. He gravitates toward Burt and Angie though, and Kurt and Blaine have already filled them in on his situation, meaning they can all talk easily.

Kurt hears his dad attempting to explain the complex family set up, while Angie is distracted with Santana, but Brian just looks amused and a little perplexed, so Kurt laughs and leaves them to it. He finds Blaine in the kitchen, nursing a beer which is long since warm, and he takes it from him, setting it on the counter so he can hold him properly.

"Hiding?"

"Maybe," Blaine concedes with a nod. "Not from anyone in particular, really, just...thinking, I guess."

"Still hung up on the Loic and Brian thing?"

"Yeah, I mean...it's just really sad, isn't it? And I just keep thinking that one day, that will be us. One of us will die before the other."

"Oh Blaine, sweetheart, no,"

"I know, I know."

"You can't think that way, you just can't, because it will eat you alive. You know, this could all end tomorrow, for a multitude of reasons, but you have to live in the moment."

"And the future?" He looks up, so sad, so in need of reassurance, and so utterly beautiful that Kurt's breath catches in his throat.

"Yes," he breathes, smiling softly. "Plan for it, all of it, and we will live it as best we can."

They fall into a kiss, one which takes Blaine's breath away with the sheer beauty of Kurt's lips, the way in which they move so lovingly over his own, and the way in which his hands frame Blaine's face, holding him tenderly.

There's a moment, after the kiss breaks, where they hold their positions and just look into one another's eyes, completely mesmerised and overwhelmed with love for each other.

"Wanna sneak off and get laid?" Blaine whispers, and that breaks it, and Kurt laughs loudly.

"I'd love to, but I also know that between dad, your mom, and Santana, we'd be busted pretty damn quick. You can kiss me again though," he adds flirtatiously, gently backing Blaine into the counter. "And maybe...y'know, grope my ass a little bit."

Lots of kisses are Kurt's favorite, but kissing Blaine while he's laughing has to be up there among the best, even if he does have to bite at his lower lip in an effort to get him to stop smiling. He relishes the way in which Blaine's teeth keep appearing every so often, because he's unable to keep the grin from his face, but when he boldly slides his hands right down the back of Kurt's pants and squeezes, both pull in a sharp breath before things turn serious.

"Um...sorry," comes Brian's voice, and they break apart, albeit unwillingly. "Sorry," he repeats again. "I just wanted to let you know I'm going now, to visit Loic."

"Oh right, right," Kurt says, a little flustered, as he fixes his clothing. "Um...we were..."

"Doing what you always do," Brian laughs. "I had no idea you had other haunts, I just thought you only made out in the doorway outside."

"No, we don't," Blaine says, totally missing the joke. "We make out quite a bit at home."

"Right," Brian says with a poker face, while Kurt tries to hide his smile. "I see. Well, thank you both for your hospitality, it's been...really nice, actually, to have some company."

"The offer still stands for coffee," Kurt reminds him, as he walks him to the door. "And we'll try not to make out for like, ten minutes or something."

"Ha! Thank you. Well, Happy New Year to you and Blaine," Brian says, shaking his hand. "I will no doubt see you soon."

"Thank you, and to you and Loic," Kurt says, then wonders if he should have said that at all, but Brian smiles and says a polite goodbye, heading off into the night to spend time with his loved one, who won't remember his presence at all.

"Come on," Kurt says, returning to the kitchen and offering his hand to Blaine. "Let's go be sociable."

Blaine looks contemplative again, but he still manages to give Kurt a bright smile, and lets himself be tugged into the living room. "Will you kiss me at midnight?" he asks quietly, and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"No, moron, I'm gonna kiss Brandon instead," Kurt says affectionately.

"Fine by me," Blaine teases. "I never liked you anyway. It's all just for show."

Kurt laughs, and they go their separate ways; he to talk with a group of work friends, and Blaine to Santana's side, and Kurt knows he's still feeling emotional because he lets her play with his hair in front of everyone, and when she kisses his cheek he slides a little further down on the couch to rest his head on her shoulder.

"He always did do that," Angie remarks to Burt, as they look on. "He's very affectionate."

"He's close to her," Burt says. "I think they both need that support."

"When I visited that time, when he was upset, he did that then," Angie tells him. "It was the first time he'd wanted that affection from me for so many years. I nearly cried."

Burt doesn't tell her that it's habit for Blaine to sit that way with him, or that he also stretches an arm across Burt's stomach as if he needs to hold him in place, when in reality, Burt wouldn't want to move anyway. He just nods and watches Blaine, sitting there with Santana, and letting her conversation with her friends wash over him. Call it a parents intuition, but he can sense Blaine is deep in unhappy thought about something, and he excuses himself politely, and when Blaine catches his eye, he nods his head toward the bedroom and Blaine follows.

"What's up?"

"Nothing," Blaine replies, but he sits down on Kurt's side of the bed, rubbing his hand over the pillow, as Burt closes the door, blocking out the sound of their guests.

"Uh-Huh. So really, what's up?"

"You know when Elizabeth was sick?"

Burt sighs and leans against the dresser, looking down at him. "I remember it well. Too damn well. Why?"

"Did it ever occur to you not to care for her? Did you ever just wanna walk away?"

"Lots of times," Burt admits, and Blaine looks up in surprise.

"God, Blaine, I was so scared. I knew what was coming, and I tried so hard to make every moment matter, but there were times when I just wanted to get in the car and drive, and never look back."

"Why?"

"Well, I think as humans we can be quite selfish. I remember feeling almost angry that she was going to go and I'd be left with a child, and a mortgage, a business to run...all of that. Then there was the care. It was endless. It started with little things, you know? She couldn't get her shoes on. Well that's no trouble, is it? To bend down and help someone with that, that's fine. Then she couldn't manage to walk Kurt to the bus, so I had to ask a neighbor to do it, and I felt embarrassed, like we couldn't care for our kid properly. Then she couldn't do anything at all for him really, or any chores, and it all fell on me. The cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, bathing Kurt, reading to him, you know, I had to try and fit it all in after work, and then, when he was in bed, it wasn't over. I couldn't sit down and watch TV. Elizabeth needed help bathing, eating...hell, I even resented it the day I had to stop work to care for her full time. Caring for someone like that, Blaine, whether they're physically sick, or mentally unwell like that Brian's husband, it's the toughest thing you can do."

"So why did you do it then? Why didn't you leave?"

"I love her," Burt shrugs, and Blaine notices he doesn't use the past tense. "I stood in a church and I promised her, her parents, and God, that I would love, care for, and protect her, until death parted us, and I did just that. At the end of the day, however tough it was on me, it was a million times harder on her, and God knows I would have traded places with her in an instant if I could have."

"I'd care for Kurt, if it came to it."

"I know you would, sunshine," Burt says, as he sits down beside him. "Are you gonna tell me what all this is about?"

Blaine sighs, resting his head on Burt's shoulder. "It's like...listening to Brian telling us about Loic, it was kind of...I don't know, an epiphany I guess, for me and Kurt. Like we could finally understand what for better or worse could actually mean, and we both know we want to have that with each other, and no one else, you know?"

"I know, but that's a good thing, surely?"

"Yes, yeah, a really good thing," Blaine says, smiling as he thinks about it. "Definitely. But then I got to thinking...if you marry someone, if you love someone enough to make those promises, why would you break them, especially when they were sick?"

"Oh Blaine, this is about your mom again, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Blaine, my boy, I don't have an answer for that I'm afraid. I only know what I told you; caring for someone like that is incredibly tough, whether it's for six months or six years. Some people can buckle down and get on with it, others can't. I'm not saying, and I never will say, that what your mom did was right, or acceptable, but I do know that looking after your dad like that must have been incredibly hard."

"But you did it," Blaine points out. "And after, too, you cared for Kurt and raised him all by yourself. Brian goes three times a day to visit Loic, sure and steadfastly. He doesn't duck out or go chasing other guys."

"No he doesn't, as far as we know," Burt agrees. "But you know what? There are those that would call him out for putting Loic in a nursing home, and not keeping him at home."

"That's not fair."

"No it isn't, I agree, because actually, that must have been one of the toughest decisions he's ever had to make, and maybe his visiting three times a day is his way of easing his guilt in some way, I don't know."

"I just wanna know why," Blaine whispers quietly, as Burt wraps his arms around him,and holds him tight.

"Then ask her. You're in a good place with her right now, I think enough anger has subsided for you two to have this conversation, don't you?"

"I hope so."

"All you can do is try."

"What if it pushes her away again?"

"Then Kurt and I will still be here."

"Thank you," Blaine says, hugging him back. "Love you."

"Love you too. Now come on, it's not long til midnight. Go spend some time with your friends, and seek Kurt out when that ball drops."

Blaine is brighter, happier, and altogether more sociable when he returns to the party, but when it's only five minutes until midnight, he seeks Kurt out; his beautiful boyfriend who is looking for him also, and he tugs him into the corner of the living room so they're as tucked away as they can be between the arm of the couch and the window.

"So," he grins, resting his forehead against Kurt's.

Kurt smiles back flirtatiously, letting his fingers slide into his hair as he presses close. "So."

"It's been quite an amazing year for us," Blaine points out.

"It has."

"Look out there." Blaine spins Kurt in his arms so he holds him from behind as they both look outside at the bright lights of Manhattan. "Not just New York, but the whole world out there. Waiting for us to discover it, together."

"You know what?" Kurt turns back, kissing Blaine's lips lightly. "I just know that this year is gonna be the best one yet."

The ball drops, and Kurt and Blaine kiss, entirely oblivious to anyone else celebrating around them. This moment and their future belongs entirely to them. It's a kiss which holds promise, hope, and for Kurt, a new revelation.

"I love you, Blaine Anderson," he whispers when they part. "You're mine forever, and for that I am so very, very grateful."

"Hmm." Blaine grins, entirely elated as he nuzzles in just above Kurt's collar. "Is it bedtime yet, tiger? I really wanna spend hours making love to you."

"We can and we will, but we can hardly kick everyone out at five minutes after midnight," Kurt laughs. "Let's make a deal. We'll be sociable until one, then wind it up, okay?"

"One?" Blaine whines. "What kind of deal is that?"

"The kind that will guarantee you an amazing orgasm if you comply," Kurt teases, and Blaine laughs and backs away, holding his hands up.

"Okay, okay, watch me circulate the room," he cries, then makes Kurt laugh harder when he more or less sprints back to Santana's side and stays there.

"You okay there buddy?" Burt asks, as he leans against the wall with his son.

"Yeah."

Burt watches Kurt, as he watches Blaine with a smile so completely serene on his face, that Burt immediately starts to wonder.

"You look like a man who's contemplating marriage, Kurt," he observes, but even he wasn't prepared for the speed with which Kurt snaps his head around, his eyes large.

"What? What are you...?" He trails off, glancing around him, before pushing his dad into the bedroom, closing the door and leaning against it. "How do you know?" he hisses, while Burt just looks confused. "Who's been saying that?"

"Woah!" Burt cries, holding his hands up. "Easy there, son. No one said anything, I was just making an observation, that's all, because you were watching Blaine, and I was watching you, thinking how in love you look, and...why?" Burt asks, his eyes narrowing. "Are you contemplating marriage?"

"Uh..." Kurt comes away from the door, pulling his dad to sit on the bed next to him. "Kind of. In a way. Yeah. I'm um...I'm going to ask Blaine to marry me."

Kurt has never heard his dad actually squeal before, and he's certainly never seen him clap his hands frantically like an over excited cheerleader, but he does both now, then takes his hands in a death grip. "When?"

"I don't know, okay? I'm thinking through this all out loud, because I only decided like...ten minutes ago. After London, definitely. Maybe in the spring? Summer, possibly when we're on the road with Bessie but...oh, I don't know. I only know that Blaine deserves the best proposal in the most perfect moment, and I need to work out exactly what that would be. I also wanna save up and buy him the best ring so….yeah." He stops as it hits him. He's going to propose to Blaine. He's pretty sure he won't refuse, but even so, Kurt Hummel is about to lay his heart on the line in the biggest gesture he will ever make in his entire life.

"Holy shit, dad," he whispers, his eyes wide. "I'm gonna propose!"

"Yeah you are!" Burt cries, then crushes Kurt against his chest in the biggest hug he can. "My boy! My boys! Oh...oh..."

"Are you crying?" a very muffled Kurt asks, and Burt pulls back, wiping at his eyes.

"Yeah, little bit," he admits with a smile.

"You don't think he's too young?"

"Blaine? No! Well, he's twenty, nearly. I guess that's young to some, but then you're thirty one so... and you know? You two are there, you're in that place. I see it."

"You do?" Kurt asks, overwhelmed. "Oh dad that...that's everything," he admits. "I want...oh, should I have asked your permission? Because I want you to be on board with this."

"You don't need my permission, but you have it anyway," Burt says, kissing his forehead. "Kurt, I am incredibly proud of the man you've become, and to know that you want to make that level of commitment, to someone as truly wonderful as Blaine, means everything to me. So ask him, and for god's sake, promise to call me right away when it happens."

"Yeah," Kurt sniffs, wiping at his happy tears. "Yeah I will. It won't be yet though, okay? I'm trusting you with this."

"Have I ever let you down?"

Kurt pulls back again, and looks Burt in the eye. "No," he says sincerely. "No you haven't. I love you, dad."

"I love you too my boy, and I'm happy for you both, I really am."

* * *

><p>Kurt is true to his word, mainly because he feels as if he might burst if he doesn't get Blaine in his arms soon, and once one o'clock arrives, he starts to draw the evening to a close. Even so, it's after three thirty by the time all remnants of the party have been cleared away, and bidding Angie and Burt goodnight, Kurt finally closes the door to their bedroom.<p>

"Ugh," Blaine huffs, falling face forward onto the bed. "So tired."

"Stay there then," Kurt purrs, lying on top of him and kissing the back of his neck. "Let me undress you."

"I know exactly what that means," Blaine says, his eyes closed as a smile comes over his face. "Go for it, I'm all yours."

"You mean that?" Kurt asks, as he reaches around to the buttons on Blaine's shirt. "You're all mine?"

"Absolutely. Sexually or otherwise. All yours, forever."

"Mmm." Kurt slides the shirt from his shoulders, kissing a trail down his spine. "You don't know how happy that makes me."

Blaine says nothing, just smiles against the pillow and sighs contentedly at the feel of Kurt's hands roaming over his back. He makes quick work of Blaine's belt, tugging his pants and underwear off and onto the floor, and he can't help but kiss the soles of Blaine's bare feet, laughing when he wriggles uncontrollably. Kneeling on the bed between Blaine's legs, Kurt returns to massaging once more, rubbing firmly over his strong thighs, and then up to his back side, enjoying the way Blaine's breath catches and he gives a gasp.

He murmurs his appreciation when he feels Kurt's face pressing against him, his lips giving gentle kisses all over, before his tongue runs along his crack. "You're so beautiful," Kurt whispers, then kisses into the two dimples at the base of his spine. "So, so beautiful."

They are slow, unhurried, despite the lateness of the hour, and Blaine never moves his position at all, just lets Kurt work him open with his tongue, stopping every so often to move up, pressing his nakedness against him, as he leans around to kiss Blaine's lips, letting him taste.

Finally, when he's ready, and almost shaking with the force of his longing, Kurt plants his knees firmly on the bed on either side of Blaine's thighs, and pushes inside. He wraps one arm around his waist, lifting him slightly but not much, meaning he can press his torso tight to Blaine's back.

"Oh god Kurt, I love you," Blaine murmurs, his face still resting on the pillow, his eyes closed. "You always give me just what I need."

"I need it too," Kurt whispers into his neck. "I need you, Blaine. Just you, always."

His thrusts are long, driving and deep, bringing them closer and closer to the edge, until Kurt comes hard, pushing tight against Blaine and gasping for breath. "You," he says quietly, nuzzling against Blaine's soft skin. "Tell me what you want me to do for you."

"I'm so close," Blaine gasps, and Kurt notices he's still rubbing himself against the bed in desperation. "Suck me?"

So he does, turning Blaine over and wrapping his lips around him, but it's only seconds before Blaine releases with a soft moan of satisfaction, his hands fisting Kurt's hair as he swallows around him. Both spent, Blaine pulls back the covers wearily, getting under and holding his arms out to Kurt, who curls against his side.

"It's five in the damn morning," he murmurs, his head resting on Blaine's chest. "We are such rebels."

But Blaine doesn't reply, sound asleep already, and Kurt looks up, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you, Blaine. Sleep well."

* * *

><p>Blaine is first up the next morning, a man on a mission, as he creeps into the kitchen and makes coffee without disturbing Burt on the couch. With two mugs in his hand, he knocks gently on the guest room door, relieved when his mom calls to come in.<p>

"Hey, I made you coffee," he says shyly, and she sits up in bed, flipping on the bedside lamp.

"Oh, uh, thank you. You uh...you want to sit?"

"Sure," Blaine smiles, though he sits on the chair by the bed, not quite comfortable or familiar enough to sit on the covers next to her.

Angie notices, of course, but she says nothing. There was a time, even when Blaine was fourteen, fifteen and changing into a man, that he would have climbed in her bed every morning and cuddled her. In fact, for a while, when Carl was really sick, he would even sleep next to her. Now he sits there, holding his coffee mug in his hands, and staring at his own feet as if unsure how to proceed. Angie knows it has to be up to her to keep this relative and tentative ease that they seem to have right now, and to build on it as well. She's lost him once and he's come back to her far more than she ever thought he would, even more than she deserved, she knows, and she will do all she can to keep healing those wounds.

"So the party was great," she says brightly. "I liked meeting all your friends."

"Yeah it was good."

"Just the right amount of people," she carries on, trying to fill the silence. "Not too many. Oh, and Brian is lovely, isn't he? I feel so sad for him, with his husband..."

"Yeah, uh..." Blaine starts but then stops, not really sure of how to say what it is he's trying to say. "Dad says it's tough, caring for someone like that."

"I imagine it's heartbreaking," she says sadly. "I know that watching Carl fade away was...so tough. But at least he had his mind, you know? Poor Brian is grieving for the loss of his husband long before he's passed."

"But I guess he carries on caring for him because he loves him so much, huh?"

"Of course."

"Did you love dad?"

Angie frowns, sitting that little bit straighter. "Of course I did, Blaine. You know I did, I..."

"Then how? And why?"

"Blaine..."

"He knew, you know. I don't know if you were aware of that or not, but he knew what you were up to."

Blaine is surprised to see Angie's eyes fill with tears, and for a moment he feels a pang of remorse, but then he remembers how Brian's story had made him feel, the overwhelming urge he had suddenly known to love and protect Kurt for his whole life through, and he's angry at her once more.

"I thought he did," Angie says quietly. "We never discussed it, but I had a feeling."

"I guess what I don't get is how, if you really loved him, how you could actually do that to someone who was that sick."

"Yeah, I get that, I do, because I don't know the answer to it myself. I can tell you some stuff, if you'd like, which might not be easy to hear, but ultimately, at the end of it all, there's still no excuse for my behavior. I had an affair while my husband lay dying. What else can I say? Nothing will justify that, or make it any better."

"Tell me though," Blaine pleads, his eyes shimmering with tears. "Because I need some kind of background to it all. I'm trying, as hard as I can, to just accept you into my life in whatever capacity that is, but every so often I hear stuff that makes me question, and I can't come up with any answers."

"Okay. Well...Carl and I met when I was still in High School, as you know. Everyone always said how right we were for each other. He was in college, and when I graduated and he was working, it seemed only natural that I would go to college at home, because...well, because everyone was already talking about us getting married, even though Carl didn't propose until I was twenty one. To be honest, if I had gone out of State, I doubt we would have stayed together. We loved each other deeply though, Blaine, and I really want you to know that. It's just that we kind of rolled along in our relationship without ever questioning. My parents, his, they all assumed we'd get married right after college, so we did. Then it was assumed a baby would come along, so you did... we both should have questioned more. I remember Carl telling me he had always wanted to travel around Europe. You were about three. Of course, by that time there were mortgages to be paid, and bills, and you, and...too much to just be able to take off for Europe like we could have when we were young."

"So it was me," Blaine says morosely. "I ruined it."

"No! No." Angie is quick to placate him, moving to sit on the edge of the bed so she can reach for his hands. "Sweetie, you made it all so much better. Gosh, we loved you...still do love you, so much. So, so much. My life was wonderfully full and rich and...I wanted for nothing, but then suddenly I hit thirty and it was...wow. I was a mom to an eight year old boy. A lot of my friends kids were younger, and they were on their second or third child and...you and Carl were so close. That's when I should have done something. That's maybe when Carl should have noticed too, I don't know. But I was bored in my job, you were busy with school, and if you weren't then you were playing football with Carl, or chess, or...something. You just didn't need me like you had, and that was natural, of course, you were eight, nine, ten, then moving to middle school, then high school, and I just felt so alone, so worthless, and like I was nothing except Mrs. Anderson, or Blaine's mom. I can't blame anyone, because you and Carl worshipped me, and this was what we had always wanted, but we should have...I don't know. Done silly things, like had date night twice a month, taken vacations to places we'd never been, picked up a joint hobby...but we didn't. We just rolled along until Carl got sick, and then it all came crashing down. Suddenly I was needed, but in the worst possible way, and yes, it was incredibly tough and draining, and I found myself wishing for my old life back again. I don't know what possessed me to have an affair with Spencer, Blaine. I can say it was a physical need, I mean, I was thirty seven when it started and...well. I can say it was emotional, all talk at home was of Carl's sickness and his treatment, or about how well you were doing at school. I can say it was a desperate need to escape and not acknowledge that I was about to lose my best friend, and that I was about to be left with a son whom I suspected was too frightened to tell me he was gay...but none of those reasons excuse what I did. Not one."

Blaine is silent and still for a long time, and Angie starts to worry that he might just up and walk out of the bedroom, but suddenly he takes a deep breath and looks her in the eye. "You're right," he says, his voice sounding almost too loud in the room. "It doesn't excuse it, any of it, but it happened. You have to live with that, and you know how awful it was. I do know, though, that you loved dad, and he loved you, and I know you gave me a wonderful childhood. So this is where it ends."

"Where what ends?" Angie asks tentatively. "I don't know what you mean."

"My concern, my inability to let go, any discussion of it...it all ends now, today. I remember Kurt telling me that it was important I have some kind of relationship with you, and he's right. I love you, and I want you to be my mom, and a grandma to my kids. I want you in my life, and I just want to let go of that time in our lives, okay?"

"Blaine, are you...?"

"Sure? Yes. I'd also like you to leave Spencer, because I don't know how someone like you could be married to someone as amazing as dad was, and then a jerk like him, but I can't tell you how to live your life, any more than you can tell me how to live mine, so for now, I'll be content with this," he says, gesturing between them. "You coming to visit, us keeping in touch, just...being mother and son, I guess. My family has been Burt and Kurt since I was sixteen, but I'd like you to feel like you can be a part of that too."

"I do...I am...I..." Angie breaks off, unable to hide her grateful sobs, and she cries harder still when Blaine kneels on the floor and puts his arms around her. "I love you, Blaine, and I am so, so sorry for it all."

"It's okay," Blaine hears himself saying, unable to really believe it's him. "It's okay, it's in the past."

"You are so wonderful, and Kurt...Burt...the way they welcomed me, and..."

"Well, they can see that you're pretty damn awesome, I think," Blaine says shyly, and he kisses her cheek softly before sitting on the bed next to her.

"Well so are they," she sniffs happily. "And I'm happy for you. I love seeing you so happy."

"Actually, I kinda need you to do something for me," Blaine admits quietly, and suddenly he's painfully shy again, looking down at his hands and folding them in his lap. "For Kurt and I, really."

"Anything."

"Okay, well, you know dad left me some money, and I paid my tuition...but Burt paid all my rent in the dorms, and he still gives Kurt and I money each month, because he's dumb and won't listen when we tell him not to."

"And you wonder why Kurt is stubborn?"

"Yeah," he laughs. "Anyway. With the money I had left from dad, and money I've saved from working at the garage and stuff...I have quite a bit saved. Kurt and I want to open a joint checking account, so..."

"Oh! That is so..." Angie stops under Blaine's withering glare, and resolves to squeal internally over what she deems to be the cutest piece of news.

"Finished?"

"Yes, sorry."

"So we're going to have this account, and Kurt doesn't know how much money I have saved. I don't want him to know, either. I want you to open an account for me, in your name, so that I can pay into it when I want, and Kurt will never know."

"What is this? A contingency plan? A secret wedding fund? A ring buying account?"

"None of that. It's uh..." He trails off, looking anywhere but at his mom, but eventually he braves it. "It's a baby fund."

"A what now?"

"When Kurt and I decide that we're ready for kids, which is not yet, by the way," he adds hastily. "It's going to cost us, whichever route we take. I don't want us to decide we're ready, and then have to wait five years because it's going to cost us fifteen thousand dollars for one try at IVF. I don't want to see the disappointment on Kurt's face. I want to be able to say 'oh, you know what? I actually have ten thousand of that saved already.' I want to see his face then, because I want to spend my whole life making him happy."

"So...you're saving money now, to surprise Kurt, who will be your husband by then, in years from now, when you decide you want to have babies?"

"Uh...well...yes," Blaine says. "When you say it like that it sounds kinda silly, but...I have three thousand already," he says proudly. "And even if I don't have it all, I'll have some, right? And...yeah. It's silly, isn't it?"

"Blaine?" Angie lifts his chin gently, her eyes shining with proud tears as she takes in the sweet, shy, and earnest young man in front of her. "It's the most romantic gesture I've ever heard of. Thank you for trusting me with this. I promise you I will open the account this week, and I'll let you know all the details."

"Thank you. Don't tell Burt though, okay? Because he gets really excited and..."

"I won't breathe a word, I promise. Oh! My baby is going to have babies!"

"One day, mom," he laughs. "Not yet. Years away."

"I know that, but even so. You are so thoughtful, you know that? So caring and considerate and the way you love Kurt is just...wonderful. Yes, this is going to be a good year, I can feel it."

She is elated when Blaine rests his head on her shoulder, but she doesn't say anything of course, just rests her own head on top, and sighs contentedly as she takes ahold of her son's hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Blaine and Kurt continue in their loving haze, because why wouldn't they, when their love is as strong as it is? Kurt is more convinced than ever that proposing to Blaine is the right thing to do, and he surreptitiously measures his finger while he's asleep using a piece of string, and vows to choose the best ring that he can afford.

Of course, because they're Kurt and Blaine, they still bicker and argue almost daily, but it's rarely in anger, and if it is, then one knows how to diffuse the other quickly. More often than not though, it is quiet, calm and steady Blaine, who is needed to calm fiery, feisty and hot headed Kurt, but neither would have the other any different than how they are.

Before either of them know it, it's the day before Kurt's departure to London, and Blaine arrives home from class in the afternoon, takes one look at the suitcase standing in the hallway, and marches right on through to the bedroom, where he falls face first on the bed, still in his shoes.

"Oh, hey now," Kurt calls, following him into the room and pulling his shoes off. "Don't be like that."

"Ugh."

"Blaine."

"Ugh."

"C'mon," he coaxes, placing his shoes neatly in the corner of the room, before he sits on the bed, rubbing a soothing hand over his back. "It's our last night together for three weeks."

"Ugh."

"Blaine," Kurt says again, and this time there is a warning tone to his voice. "Don't do this."

"Don't do what?" he asks, turning his head to the side to look at Kurt, who frowns. "I'm allowed to be sad."

"Sure, but don't be a baby about it. You know I'm going, so let's just make the most of..."

"Don't be a baby?" Blaine cries, sitting up. "You're going to London for three weeks and three days, Kurt. I'm entitled to miss you and to be upset that you're going."

"I know, I know," he soothes, as he thinks to himself that for tonight at least, he'll have to pander to Blaine's petulance and hold his tongue. "Come here. Let me kiss you. You walked right on in here without even saying hello."

"Practicing for when you're not here," Blaine grumbles, but he shuffles forward on the bed and takes the slow kiss Kurt offers.

"Better?" Kurt asks, but Blaine just shrugs and wrinkles his nose.

"Gonna miss you."

"I know," Kurt sighs, pressing himself into Blaine's side, resting his head in the crook of his neck. "And I'm gonna miss you too."

"Not like I'm gonna miss you."

"What? Don't be silly. Of course I will!"

"No you won't," Blaine pouts. "You'll be too busy having fun and doing...fashionable things. Studying models, probably. Drinking champagne and what is it? Networking. Yeah, that's it."

"Blaine, shut up," Kurt snaps. "First of all, we've had this discussion before. We're gay men with a pulse. We're allowed to look, we choose not to touch and that's a hell of a big deal. Second of all, this is a work trip, Blaine, not some fanciful vacation abroad. It's fashion week. Do you need a reminder of how stressful that is? And third, and most damn importantly, I will miss you! Every hour of every day, and I will be waiting to get home to you. Don't belittle my feelings just because you're pissed. Be pissed by all means, but understand that I'm just as sad about me going as you are. Yeah, it's great experience and it'll be amazing, but I'll still be wishing you were there with me. Don't make me feel like I can't call you and say I'm having a good time."

"I didn't!" Blaine cries, as Kurt climbs off the bed. "I didn't, I wasn't, I... I was merely pointing out that you won't miss me as much as I'll miss you, because you'll be in London doing exciting stuff, and I'll just be...well, I'll just be here, won't I? Alone. Going to my classes, studying...the usual."

"Why does it have to be a competition?" Kurt cries despairingly. He's aware his voice is raised, but he's annoyed, and he pushes out into the living room where Blaine follows him.

"It's not a competition, I'm just saying that I'm the one left to do the same old stuff, that's all, so you can't say you're going to miss me like I'll miss you, because that's not true!"

"That's just...ugh!" Throwing his hands up, Kurt shakes his head, grabbing his keys from the coffee table and his coat from the hall closet.

"Don't walk out!" Blaine cries, as Kurt pulls on shoes. "Don't sit there saying it's our last night together and making a big deal about it, and then walk out! That's not fair."

"No, Blaine, you're not being fair here, not me. Just...I just need some time to cool off, okay? You're being an ass, but I don't want us to end up fighting and me leaving for London on a bad note. Just..." Shaking his head again, Kurt goes, closing the door behind him and leaving Blaine to await his return.

Out on the street, Kurt sighs, cursing the heavy rain that falls. He really doesn't want to go out in this, but he needs to clear his head, if only for five minutes.

"Hey Kurt."

He turns to find Brian in the doorway behind him, grimacing at the rain, before he opens a large black umbrella and steps out.

"Oh, hi Brian. Yeah, umbrella. Wish I'd thought of that."

"Well I'm sure you can run upstairs and get one," Brian chuckles.

"Yeah, no. I just...needed to get out for a moment."

"Oh?"

"Blaine's being..." he stops himself short, amazed that he of all people is holding back from venting his anger, but somehow, calling Blaine a jerk to someone else just seems like a really low thing to do. "God, I am so completely in love with him," he whispers in awe, and Brian smiles.

"I've noticed. So what happened? Did you two have a fight?"

"I guess," Kurt shrugs. "A little bit. I don't know."

"You two don't strike me as a couple that argue much," Brian says, and Kurt snorts.

"We argue all the time, or bicker fondly, maybe. We rarely have full on fights though. We spent the first eighteen months of knowing each other fighting the entire time, so we try and avoid that now. But I'm not an easy person to live with, and he's too easy to live with, you know? Like he's so laid back, he might as well be dead."

"Ha!" Brian takes another look at the weather, then turns back to Kurt. "I'm walking to Loic, to read to him. You wanna walk a little way with me?"

"Sure."

Kurt feels more content as they walk along together under the umbrella. He likes Brian. He likes the friendship that is developing, and he likes that Brian never seems to judge, because he's been there, lived it, and he understands.

"You two sound like Loic and I," Brian remarks, as they walk along. "Gosh, he was always so hot headed. You know what used to get to me though? People would say they didn't know how I could live with someone as fiery as him, but I also know that I wasn't easy either. But, y'know, we wanted to be together, and so it worked."

"Yeah, it works," Kurt confirms. "I love living with him. And mostly it's silly things, you know? Like I'll be getting really frustrated about work, and he'll be lying on the couch watching the damn Disney Channel, and he'll tell me to chill out...and that's all it takes," Kurt laughs. "But then, if he didn't watch the Disney Channel, he wouldn't be my Blaine, and I'd be upset."

"Yeah, I get that," Brian says sadly.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry."

"No, no, don't be," Brian says with a shake of his head. "Just embrace all that he is. What does he study, anyway? Not that I know him well, but I can imagine Blaine taking something like...I don't know, history, or American Literature."

"Ha! No. Well, here's the thing. Blaine is smart, like stupidly, ridiculously smart," Kurt says proudly. "He's studying physics and mechanical engineering, and he's hoping to work for NASA as a spacecraft engineer."

"And he watches the Disney Channel?"

"And he watches the Disney Channel," Kurt confirms, then laughs. "He needs an outlet, I guess."

"That's quite incredible though, that he wants to work for NASA."

"Yep." Kurt seems to swell with pride as he talks, and it makes Brian smile inside to see and hear him talk about Blaine that way.

"And you? When do you go to London to take the Brits by storm?"

"Tomorrow, actually," Kurt admits. "Though I don't think I'll be taking them by storm, more like hoping and praying I don't make a total ass of myself."

"You know, that confidence and pride you have when you talk about Blaine and his school work? You should use that when talking about yourself, young man."

"Hmm, well, I still don't think I'm all that great, I guess," Kurt mumbles, and Brian switches the umbrella to his other hand and rests an arm around his shoulders.

"Somehow, I don't think Blaine would be with you if you weren't quite spectacular. He looks at you as though you hung the moon and the stars just for him. You're smart, funny, and clearly very good at your job, or they wouldn't be asking you to go, would they?"

"I don't know if I want to go," Kurt admits. "Blaine seems to think I'm gonna be living it up and that...that causes issues between us, because of how I was before...back when we first met. I was...not nice."

"Blaine is probably hurting because he knows how much he's going to miss you," Brian tells him honestly. "And so he's saying things he doesn't really mean. Be honest, you know he knows how hard you work, and you were both joking with me the other week about how you turn into a bear during fashion week. He knows you'll be working, attending shows and writing for nearly the whole time you're there."

"He said I won't miss him as much as he'll miss me."

"Oh he'll miss you tremendously," Brian agrees. "But that doesn't mean you won't miss him also."

"The thing is, I worry he's right, because I am excited, you know? What if I do have a good time, in spite of all the hard work? What if I love every second?"

"I should hope you will, otherwise you've got the wrong job," Brian chuckles. "Listen, Kurt, Blaine wants you to have a good time. He would hate it if you went there and spent every second feeling miserable. Enjoying getting to experience London Fashion Week doesn't make your love for Blaine any less valid. What if he gets sent away for work in the future? You'd want to see him enjoying himself, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Even though you couldn't join him. Blaine's just sad, that's all, because he'll be lonely without you, which is perfectly natural, but he will also survive, and you'll come back in next to no time."

"We're dumb to be fighting over this, huh?"

"Dumb? No. Loic and I once spent a week in total silence because he gave one of my sweaters to goodwill without asking me. I didn't even wear it, it had been hanging in the closet for months."

Kurt laughs, and then notices they've stopped walking, and are now standing outside Cedar Oak retirement home. "This is where Loic lives?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I've just talked at you for the entire walk here."

"Kurt, it was nice to have some company, really. Now you go to your man, and I'll go to mine. Here," he says, offering his umbrella.

"Oh, no, I couldn't. You'll get wet walking home, and..."

"I'll get a cab," Brian says with a smile. "Just take it, and go home to be with Blaine for the evening. Don't waste tonight."

"I won't," Kurt promises. "And Brian? While I'm away, can you..."

"I'll look out for him," Brian smiles. "Of course I will."

* * *

><p>Blaine looks up the second he hears Kurt's key in the lock. He offers a wavering, hesitant smile when Kurt closes the door quietly and walks toward him, one which Kurt returns with more certainty.<p>

"Sad puppy," Kurt notes, taking in Blaine's red rimmed, mournful eyes as he looks up at him. He gives a small nod, and continues to keep his eyes trained on Kurt as he kneels in front of the couch between Blaine's legs.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "You're right, it's not a competition, and I do know you'll miss me, of course I know that. I just..."

"I know," Kurt says simply, and he holds his arms open for Blaine to fall into his embrace. "It's okay. We were both being dumb, but let's just forget about it now."

"But I was mean."

"Eh, whatever. I don't want to go to London feeling pissed at you, and I can't bear the thought of you sitting on the couch like this for three weeks. I'll call though," he reassures, rubbing a hand over his back. "And I'll bring you back a ton of gifts. Not just the freebies from the runway shows either."

This makes Blaine laugh, and he pulls back, giving a little sniff and a sad smile. "Will you skype with me?"

"Every day."

"Oh, you don't have to do it every day," Blaine tells him quickly. "I don't want you to feel obligated, or..."

"Blaine. Nothing I do is out of obligation to anyone. That's just not how I work, and you should know that by now. I'll skype you every day because I love you, and I want to see your beautiful face. I'm not doing it because I feel like I should. I mean yes, there's the obligation I feel not to hurt you, but that's more because I don't _want_ to hurt you, than feeling like I shouldn't. Do you know what I mean? All this," he says, waving his hand around, "is my choice. I paid for you to fly to New York just over two years ago, not to please dad, or because I felt like I should give in to you, but because I knew I'd never find any peace until I'd told you the way I felt. I love you Blaine, that's why I'm here, that's why I stay, and that's why, whether you like it or not, I'll skype you every day."

Blaine doesn't protest, just beams, and tugs Kurt up off his knees and into his lap, where he can look up and seek out his lips, his teeth, his tongue. "Tell me what you want to do then," Blaine says, when their kiss breaks with a gasp. "Tonight is all yours. We can go to the movies, out to dinner? We're still in time to get tickets for a show if you want to?"

"Actually," Kurt says, ducking his head down onto Blaine's shoulder. "I'd kinda just like a normal night in. We can cook together, play cards...have an early night, maybe?"

"Yeah, we can do that," Blaine agrees. "I'm pretty tired, so..."

"I hate you," Kurt says, and his laugh turns into a soft moan of pleasure when one of Blaine's hands finds its way under his t-shirt to the smooth skin of his back, while his lips trail down his neck. "I totally hate you, but if you wouldn't mind stripping me naked and taking me right here and now, I'd really appreciate it."

* * *

><p>The next morning arrives all too quickly, and Blaine is grateful that a car is coming to take Kurt to the airport, meaning he doesn't have to say his goodbye in public. They eat breakfast in almost complete silence, with occasional sad glances across the table at one another, until Kurt pushes his pancakes to the side and climbs into Blaine's lap instead.<p>

"Listen. This sucks," he says, letting his fingers curl into his hair. "But way back when, when you lived with dad and I was here, we did the long distance thing, didn't we? We can do this."

"Oh I know," Blaine says, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and hugging him close. "I know we can do it, I just know that, like you said, it sucks. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I'm sad, but I'm also happy that you're going."

"Well thanks."

"No, hear me out. I'm happy because you deserve this, and I want you to own it. I...I love you, I've loved you for years, but...oh Kurt, I just keep falling more and more in love with you all the time. New Years was just...I don't know, one of those moments when it suddenly became clear exactly how much you mean to me, you know?"

"Yes," he breathes softly. "I know."

"And I look at you now, about to fly to London to report on fashion week, and I think yeah, I'll miss you, but this is just amazing for you. And then I think to myself, you know what? This will be us one day in the future, too. You'll be this amazing fashion journalist, the one whose column everyone wants to read...and you'll come home to me. Not anyone else, just me, and that...that thrills me immensely."

Kurt studies Blaine as he speaks, his eyes dancing with happiness and shining with love. His arms are comforting and secure around Kurt's waist, and he realizes that he's never felt more at home than he does in this mans arms. "Blaine?"

Blaine looks up, waiting expectantly. "Yeah?"

"Will you..."

He stops.

Not here, not now.

When he asks, he wants it to be when they can celebrate properly, when they can make squealing phone calls of delight to friends and family, and when they can spend all day kissing if they so choose. "Will you pass me the rest of my pancakes, please?"

"Pig."

"Yep," Kurt grins, as Blaine offers him a fork. "You know it."

* * *

><p>Life without Kurt is strange. Blaine spends the entirety of the first day in bed, watching crappy tv, and stuffing his face with all of the six cupcakes Kurt had made him as a farewell gift. It's good to get a skype call that evening from a completely over exuberant Kurt, because it lets him know that he's arrived safely, and it's rather wonderful to see his face shining with excitement. He shows Blaine around his hotel room, and babbles about how it's nearly one in the morning in England, but he's not tired at all.<p>

Yes, it's completely lovely, until Kurt has to go, and then Blaine finds his way to the bottom of a tub of ice cream, and he might, just might, have not even bothered changing his pajama top when he spills some.

By nine that evening, Burt, who has been waiting all day to check on Blaine's welfare, gives in and calls. He knows Blaine is not okay, of course, even though he protests that he is, but he also knows that his call does make him feel at least a little bit brighter.

"So, you wanna fly home next weekend?" Burt asks, and he can practically hear Blaine's eyes roll on the other end of the line.

"I can look after myself you know."

"I know that."

"Did Kurt put you up to this?"

"Like hell," Burt laughs, and he's telling the truth. He'd known all along that Blaine would feel a little ungrounded when Kurt went to London, and he also knows that what Blaine really wants to do is fly home, and sleep in what he still calls 'his room'. He also knows that Blaine, at twenty, and in a serious, committed relationship, won't admit to needing his dad for fear of losing face.

"I was thinking we need some father son bonding time," Burt rambles, aware of Blaine listening very intently. "I know we both love Kurt beyond all measure, but it hasn't been just you and I for a long time, has it?"

"It hasn't been just you and him, either," Blaine points out.

"Yeah well, maybe one weekend you could take off and see Sam, and I'll visit him then."

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"Yep."

They both laugh, and Blaine is suddenly conscious that he's curled on his side, clutching the phone tight to his ear. He always misses Burt, but he's feeling it more than ever right now.

"Come home," Burt says quietly, and Blaine nods, blinking back tears.

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>It's better, being at home with Burt. That's not to say Blaine doesn't still miss Kurt immensely, but just knowing he has three whole days to tinker with cars and spend time with his old man makes Blaine come skipping through arrivals to throw himself into his dad's arms, and let himself get picked up and hugged tightly.<p>

"Ah, that's better," Burt mumbles, still squeezing the life out of Blaine. "So much better."

It suddenly occurs to Blaine how much Burt must miss them both, how his life must be like Blaine's is now, only all the time. He links his arm through his as they walk to the car, and Blaine wonders if maybe that's what grown up life is all about; missing people.

His own dad, Burt...now Kurt...maybe it's just a never ending cycle of wishing you were with someone, and then trying to treasure the moments that you do get together.

"I wish me and Kurt lived here all the time," he declares, as Burt holds Bessie's door open for him and puts the keys in his hand.

"No you don't."

"I do. Then we could see you every day."

"Yeah, and then you could both work dead end jobs, and you could sacrifice your college education and brilliant future, just to look at my ugly mug day after day."

"I miss you though."

"And I miss you too. Both of you. But you know what? I get to watch you two chasing your dreams, making them happen, and that's worth more than anything at all."

"Well that's true," Blaine realizes, as he swings his beloved car out onto the highway. "Like I miss Kurt, but I love hearing about all he's doing, and how he's learning so much, and meeting important fashion people."

"Exactly," Burt says with a nod. "Now let's get home and see if he's ready to Skype with us."

* * *

><p>"Are you sure you're okay?" Blaine asks, and Kurt sighs in frustration.<p>

"Yes!"

"You don't look it," Blaine points out. "You look like you're about to go off on me."

"I will if you don't stop being so damn confrontational!"

"I'm not! I'm just... well, I don't know. All week we've skyped just fine, and now today it's weird. Why is it weird?"

"Oh I don't know, Blaine, maybe because we're five hours ahead of you, and it's nearly two in the morning here? I've been working for thirteen hours straight, and then I get in and just want to go to bed, but I have to skype with you!"

"Hey!" Blaine is hurt, and Kurt regrets the words the moment they're out of his mouth.

"No, wait, I didn't..."

"No one's making you!"

"I know, I know. It's just...there you are, tucked up in your pajamas, and I'll bet dad made you hot chocolate, and I wanna be there too, you know? I wanna climb into bed with you at nine, and just lie in your arms and..." he wipes angrily at his stray tears, as Blaine moves closer to the screen. "I didn't mean to make it sound like I have to skype you. I want to, I do. It's like...the best part of my day. I just... I miss you, and then seeing you there with dad, and I'm not, and..."

"I know," Blaine says sadly. "I love you Kurt, and I know this is tough. I also know how hard you're working, but...well, hey, we've done a week already, huh?"

"I guess."

"Turn that frown upside down," he sings brightly, and Kurt looks up, pointing a warning finger at the screen.

"Don't."

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."

"I hate you," Kurt grouches, but his eyes are shining again, and Blaine grins.

"I know you do, now gimme a kiss."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"C'mon," he coaxes, leaning in and pouting at the screen. "Kiss your puppy."

And five thousand miles away, alone, tired, and tearful, Kurt finds himself laughing, and leaning close to kiss his computer screen.


	15. Chapter 15

Kurt shifts around on the bed, until he's lying on his stomach and can pull the laptop closer to him. "So," he says, resting his chin on his palm. "Tell me about your day."

"Uh-uh," Blaine laughs, shaking his head. "My day was just boring, same as every other day. I wanna hear more about yours. You met Helena Christensen and Kate Moss!" he cries, while Kurt squeals with delight. "That's like...even I know who they are! And they loved you, of course."

"They did not," Kurt chuckles, though he's actually thrilled to hear Blaine's excitement. "Kate Moss just said she liked my tie, that was all."

"I bought you that tie," Blaine says smugly.

"I know you did."

Blaine is supposed to be studying, but when the skype call had come he accepted immediately, and Kurt's excited face had lit up the entire screen, screaming about how he had met his fashion icons, and life was amazing. Blaine, sitting at the kitchen table all alone, had found himself falling more and more in love with Kurt once again, eager to listen to his happiness, and forgetting entirely about his plans to study. "I like that tie too. It's useful to pull you into a kiss."

"Hmm." Kurt grins, extremely happy and elated as he gazes at the screen. "Soon."

"Monday."

"We've done okay, haven't we?" Kurt asks, and he laughs again when Blaine wrinkles his nose, knowing what's to come.

"We have," Blaine agrees. "Apart from the two times you told me to fuck off and leave you to sleep."

"Don't curse."

"Well you did!"

"Well...I..." Kurt flounders around for an answer, but in the end all he can mange is a sheepish, "Sorry."

"Don't be. I love you in spite of your temper. Or maybe because of it, I don't know which."

"Hmm, well your mom still maintains that you love my spunk."

Blaine smirks, and carries the laptop over to the couch, where he lies down with it on his stomach. "Well...yeah. I do."

"Haha."

"You started it."

"Do I have a horny boyfriend?" Kurt asks flirtatiously, and Blaine throws his head back with a groan.

"What do you think? You've been gone for three weeks."

"How many times have you gotten yourself off while I've been gone?"

Blaine reddens, but doesn't shy away from the answer, looking Kurt right in the eye. "Once with you, once without you."

"Only once without me? I don't know whether to be impressed or worried," he admits with a laugh.

"Yeah, well..." Blaine stops and ducks his head, unwittingly making Kurt want him even more. "It kinda made me miss you more, so I..."

"Are you horny right now, Blaine?"

"I am, but I'd rather wait," he admits. "Because I'm seeing you in two days, so...if it was longer maybe, but I'd rather wait so I can...I don't know, embarrass myself by coming the second you touch me, probably."

"Well I'm pretty sure I might explode if you just look in my general direction so..."

Blaine laughs, still embarrassed, but finding this conversation far more erotic than he should. "That's...um...a hot thought," he says, and his voice holds a little hint of desperation, which has Kurt starting to take notice.

"What is?"

"Um, you. Me. Making you...yeah. Just um...I'm just thinking about when you do and….it's so hot. Like, you make these noises, and then I watch the way your whole body moves and..."

"Oh Jesus."

"I know."

"I'm so hard now," Kurt admits. "Can we?"

"I want to," Blaine admits. "But I want you to be here, and it's two days to wait, that's all. But I really want to. But I won't."

"Why?" Kurt cries. "Do you enjoy torture?"

"Well now, that's an avenue we haven't explored before," Blaine says primly, and Kurt dissolves into laughter, the heat inside of him cooling a little.

"You bastard."

"I think we should discuss the use of torture in our sex life."

"You're using it right now, by denying me the opportunity to watch you jerk off," Kurt says, and he pokes his tongue out for good measure. "Damn, Blaine, I can't wait to hold you in my arms."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and what's that all about, huh? You know, I'm horny, I'm absolutely desperate, and yeah, lots of sex is gonna be involved in our reunion, but above anything, I just can't wait to hold you. That's all I want, to feel you in my arms, to have your head resting in my neck, to feel you nuzzling against me."

"You love me."

"I do."

"And I love you."

"Two days," Kurt reminds him, his whole face lighting up with a massive grin.

"I'll be there, at the airport. Seven, right?"

"Yeah, listen, I know we said we'd skype everyday, but tomorrow is kinda..."

"That's okay," Blaine says immediately.

"But..."

"Really, it's okay. You don't know how much it means that every single day, even when you've worked fourteen, fifteen hours, you've still found time to skype with me. That's...everything, actually, because I don't think I would have gotten through it otherwise. So one day is fine. We can text, anyway, and I'll see you at JFK in less than forty eight hours."

"Oh my god," Kurt gasps, as the reality hits him. He's coming home to Blaine. London has been all he could have hoped for and more; an amazing experience in a beautiful city. Hard work, definitely, and tough, but so much fun. Even so, to know he's coming home to the love of his life...well, there's nothing to compare to that feeling at all. "I love you, Blaine."

"I love you too," Blaine says, blowing a kiss at the screen. "Stay safe."

* * *

><p>Waking up Sunday, the first thing Blaine does is call his mom. Since New Year, he has tried his hardest to keep up the contact, and though things are still sporadic from her end, their relationship is much improved. Angie kept her word, and opened up an online savings account in her name, and gave Blaine all the details he needed to be able to check the balance and pay into it whenever he wanted. The fact that Blaine had put this trust in her was huge to Angie, and in return, the level of honesty and openness she had shown Blaine in providing details to the account, had also been a big step for both of them.<p>

He often calls early on Sundays, and Angie has taken to forcing herself out of bed under the guise of cooking breakfast, for a family she no longer thinks of as hers, so that when her phone does ring, she can speak with relative ease while everyone sleeps upstairs.

"Hey sweetie, so today's the day, huh?"

"Hey mom. No, not today, tomorrow. Cleaning today."

"Cleaning? Blaine, your apartment is always immaculate."

"Well...I need to make it look even better," he laughs. "So anyway, I paid into the account."

"Again? Blaine, make sure you have enough to live on."

"I do," he reassures. "But some girl in my physics elective asked me to tutor her, and she paid me for that, so I put it away, since it was extra money that I wasn't expecting."

"That's a good idea, honey," Angie says, smiling as she hears the pride in his voice. "Hey, you should do more tutoring, maybe. Advertise a bit."

"I might," he muses. "I enjoyed it, but Kayla kinda got the wrong impression, I think."

"Oh?"

"I tutored her for a test we took Friday, then yesterday, after I'd finished skyping with Kurt, she called me and asked me out."

Angie tries very hard not to laugh at the hushed, embarrassed tone to Blaine's voice, but she can picture him so clearly, his face red and his chest swelling with indignation, that she gives in and giggles.

"It's not funny!"

"Oh Blaine! It is funny. What did you say?"

"What do you think I said, yes? I said I was gay, and living with my boyfriend."

"Blaine, were you kind? Did you let her down gently?"

"Yes I did," he snaps. "But that's kinda put me off the whole tutoring thing, I think."

"Well maybe tutor just guys."

"How's that gonna help?"

"Um..well, okay, so tell me how much you have now."

"Nearly five."

"Thousand?! Blaine, that's wonderful. How many kids are you planning on having?"

"I don't know," he laughs. "I'm guessing we'll start with one and see if we like it."

"You will," Angie grins. "Anyway, you might not start with one if you choose surrogacy. You might start with three of four."

"Oh god, I hope not. I don't even know what to do with a baby. I just think they're really cute."

"They are," Angie agrees, "and having a baby in your life makes you look at everything with a different perspective. It's wonderful."

"Mom."

"What?" she asks innocently.

"You know what. Don't go all dreamy on me. I told you, this is a long time off. I wanna be married, and I want us to have good careers and our own house before we even think about babies."

"I know, I know."

Blaine hears the bang of a door, being opened or closed he doesn't know, but he does know this signals the end of their conversation.

"I uh..."

"I know," Blaine sighs. "I'll talk with you soon."

"I'm sorry," Angie whispers frantically, hoping Spencer won't arrive in the kitchen just yet. "I love you, sweetie."

"Yeah," Blaine says, his voice heavy with sadness. "I love you too."

* * *

><p>Santana arrives at lunchtime. Uninvited, of course. She still likes to appear and eat all their food before going on her way. Not that Blaine minds. Kurt tends to yell about it, but then Kurt isn't there, so Santana has made it her business to drop in whenever she can, under the guise of being hungry, but in reality she likes to check on her baby and reassure herself that he's coping okay on his own.<p>

"I'm cleaning," he says, when he opens the door. "So if you're eating, then eat at the kitchen table and don't make crumbs."

"Why are you cleaning? This place is always pristine. Two gay men live here."

"Kurt's coming home tomorrow," he explains, as if Santana doesn't already know. "And I want it to look nice."

"Well I haven't come to eat your food, anyway. I've come to take you out."

"Huh?"

"I'm taking you out for lunch."

"Wait a minute," Blaine says warily. "Am I paying? Because if so, then there's food here, we don't have to go out, and..."

"I'm paying," she says, kissing his cheek on her way to the hall closet. "Now, here." She tosses him a jacket, then hands him a pair of shoes which he immediately swaps for a different pair.

"I really should wash the floors..."

"Shut up, Blaine. We haven't had a date in forever."

"I took you to the movies on Thursday."

"Yeah, see? That was ages ago. Let's go."

Despite his protests, Blaine loves spending time with Santana. Somehow they seem to have slipped into big sister, little brother roles, and as neither has any siblings of their own, that suits them both perfectly well. Over lunch, he confides in her about his worries for his mom, and how much he wishes she would leave Spencer and move away, but Santana repeatedly tells him he can't force the issue.

"Do you think he hits her?" she asks.

"No. I think we have a good enough relationship now, that she would tell me if that happened, but I think he's unkind to her, like mentally, and his jerk sons join in, just like they used to with me."

"That's what happened," Santana realizes, as she pours them both more water. "Guys like that always keep someone around that makes them feel better about themselves, someone they can belittle and put down. She's taken your place."

"But that's so wrong!"

"I know it is, but really, all you can do is sit and wait. The more you push her to leave him, the more determined she will become to stay, because she will want to prove to you and herself that she really didn't make this huge mistake. Do you know how hard it must be on her? To have to admit how terribly wrong she was about it all? She's getting there, Blaine, and I'm pretty sure that she will one day decide she can't do this anymore, but until that day, you just have to sit tight."

"But what if that day doesn't come?" Blaine counters. "What if he does hit her? What if she tries to leave and he won't let her, because his control over her has become too strong? What if she spends her whole life thinking she can't leave because she has nowhere to go?"

"I don't think that's what she thinks, and I think she's stronger than you give her credit for," Santana says firmly. "That's not to say he wouldn't try and get her back if she left, of course, and that would be the time that you and Kurt would need to be there, to remind her of how her life used to be, and all that she can have away from him. That'll be what makes her mind up, you know. You."

"Me? But you just told me not to pressure her."

"No, you shouldn't. You just need to carry on exactly as you are now; calling her, telling her little bits of your everyday life, as well as bigger stuff... think back. When she first married him, she tried to pretend everything was a-okay. Then gradually, that changed into convincing herself that you were the problem, which then slowly morphed into her admitting she did know how things were, but she didn't know what to do about it. Now she calls you, sneaks away for visits, hell, she came running when you and Kurt had that major fight. She really is getting there, Blaine, and one day soon she will wake up and realize that she wants this everyday. She wants to be able to call you freely, and visit at will. Trust me, it'll be you that sways her, just by being you."

Blaine ducks his head, fiddling with his fork as he speaks quietly. "I'm not really anything to be swayed by."

"Are you kidding?" Santana booms. "You're fucking glorious, you idiot. You're sweet, kind, caring, funny...and you're all pretty too, which helps. Blaine, you're amazing. Burt, me, your mom, and most of all, Kurt, all love you and want to be a part of your life, because you're you. Hell, you tamed Kurt Hummel, boy, that alone must put you up there with...I don't know, Obama, probably, and Harry Potter."

Blaine can't help but smile, and he looks up and takes her hand. "Thank you. I hope you're right. About mom, I mean."

"I'm always right."

"I love you."

"Aw, baby boy! Momma loves you too."

"Don't," he warns, but he does smile and kiss the back of her hand. "I really should get home and wash my floors."

* * *

><p>"So, I won't call you," Santana says, when Blaine walks her home. "Because you'll be riding Kurt well into the middle of next week, but if I haven't heard from you by Friday, I will be arriving on your doorstep, okay?"<p>

"Okay."

"Now don't forget to eat."

"We just had lunch!"

"I mean tonight," Santana laughs, rolling her eyes. "I know you. You'll start reading some god awful book about the combustion engine or something, and next thing you'll wake up tomorrow morning still on the couch, and holding the book."

"Okay," he groans. "I'll eat, I promise."

"Good. Okay, go wash your perfectly clean floors, and enjoy your epic reunion with Kurt."

"Thank you," Blaine grins, and then he's off down the street with a spring in his step, because his boyfriend arrives home tomorrow.

He washes his floors, and feels much better for having done so, then settles down on the couch to read up on aerospace engineering. With his earbuds in, he doesn't hear the key in the lock, just the loud slam of the door, and he whirls around on the couch in a panic.

Kurt stands there, suitcase by his side and bag at his feet. He looks immaculate, and not at all like he has just stepped off a plane after a seven hour flight. His blue jeans are stupidly tight, his white and blue shirt tucked in, with a pale blue cravat at his neck. His jacket is new, navy blue with some kind of floral print that should look awful, but on him looks divine. Still, Blaine doesn't care about any of that, just Kurt's beautiful face, smiling at him.

"What are you...?" he starts, getting to his feet and taking out his earbuds. "You...you're...I... but...tomorrow..."

"I've always been coming home today," Kurt grins. "I just wanted to see that look on your face," he says, pointing at Blaine. "It was worth it."

"You're home," Blaine whispers, breaking out into a huge grin.

"I'm home."

"YES!" Blaine yells, then jumps over the back of the couch and slams into Kurt, picking him up and hugging him tight. "You're...oh Kurt..." Their lips find each other, claiming one another over and over again, until Blaine breaks away with a gasp. "You're home," he says again, nuzzling his face into his cheek, and making Kurt growl softly in pleasure. "My tiger. How I love you."

"I love you too, now kiss me again," Kurt tells him, so he does.

Kurt sinks into the kiss, which is slow, sensuous, and soft to start. He relishes the feel of Blaine's lips on his, moving gently, and the tip of his tongue running into Kurt's mouth.

As he frames Kurt's face with his hands, Blaine notices his shirt being untucked, the feel of Kurt's hands seeking out his skin, splaying firmly on his back, before he starts to rub small circles there. "Beautiful," Blaine murmurs, his lips still ghosting over Kurt's. "You are so beautiful."

"More," Kurt quietly demands, and this time Blaine kisses harder, pulling him tight against him and taking control, his hands moving slightly to Kurt's hair, where he tugs hard, loving the way Kurt growls again in his throat. Breaking apart, Blaine trails his lips along Kurt's jaw and down his neck, his fingers making light work of the cravat and pulling it free. He nips, scrapes, and bites at the soft flesh there, as Kurt throws his head back, tangling his fingers through Blaine's curls.

"Oh yes," he cries, at the feel of Blaine marking him. "Blaine..."

"Yeah?"

"Don't stop."

Blaine moves back up, kissing his lips quickly. "But you..."

"Need you."

"Oh fu...gosh," he moans, then crushes Kurt against his chest, pulling him into a fierce and desperate kiss.

Kurt seems to strip Blaine's sweater from his chest in record time, and not content with just smoothing his hands over his skin, he kisses all over as he slowly moves lower, until he can follow that trail of dark hair down, unfastening his pants and pulling them down, leaving Blaine in just a pair of light gray briefs, with a small damp spot appearing on the fabric. Kurt mouths over his hardness, but Blaine tugs him upright again, needing to touch and taste Kurt for himself.

He still can't quite believe that just five minutes after Kurt walking through the front door, he now has him pinned against it, his hand finding its way into those sinfully tight jeans, to cup him and squeeze lightly, before pushing them to the floor so he can grind against him. He could finish them both off now, he knows, just by keeping this up, but he also wants and needs more, and so does Kurt, if the rather loud, "I need to feel you inside me" is anything to go by.

"Wait there," Blaine whispers, kissing him one more time before running into the bedroom and returning with lube.

He is back in seconds, his arms encircling Kurt's waist from behind, as he gently kisses his shoulder. He lowers both of their underwear, and just spends a moment pressed against him, taking in the feel of skin on skin contact after so long. Kurt reaches up, one hand winding around the back of Blaine's neck, the other locking over Blaine's hand, which slowly moves lower, teasing gently over Kurt's skin, until he huffs his frustration and wraps it around his cock, making Blaine laugh against his neck.

"Fuck me, boy," Kurt growls, and this spurs Blaine into action.

He pours lube into one hand, then throws the bottle down at his feet. A firm hand on Kurt's back guides him until he's leaning forward, his hands firmly planted on the back of the front door, feet splayed. He knows he's loud from the first feel of Blaine's fingers, but when he's stretched and ready, and when Blaine takes him by the hips and drives in hard, he gives up even attempting to quiet his mouth or hold his cursing, and really lets go.

"Fucking yes! Come on Blaine, gimme what I need! Fuck me, oh, fuck me!"

Outside, on his way to say goodnight to Loic, Brian comes merrily down the stairs to give a knock on Blaine's door, as he's taken to doing every evening, just to say hello. He stops three steps from the bottom, at the unmistakable sound of Kurt's voice, raises an eyebrow, then quickly scurries down the other two flights, laughing to himself, and deciding he might as well tell Loic all about it, given that he won't remember any of it the next day anyway.

"Oh god, oh Kurt," Blaine pants. He's not sure he can go much harder, or for much longer, but he's determined to make this last as long as he can. Sweat pours down his forehead, neck and chest, but he grips Kurt's hips even harder, and picks up his pace once more. "Fuck. Just...fuck."

"So good!" Kurt cries, lifting his head momentarily. One look back over his shoulder at his boyfriend has him nearly losing it altogether, because Blaine looks more wildly possessed with lust than he's ever seen him in all their time together. His bottom lip is swollen, tugged between his teeth. His hair is...well, huge, and in complete disarray, the muscles in his arms move deliciously as he holds Kurt, and his sweaty chest heaves with desire. He's looking down, watching himself entering Kurt over and over, but suddenly he becomes aware of Kurt looking at him, and lifts his head, smiling in a manner that is so at odds with this wild animal currently pounding his boyfriend against the front door, that Kurt has to take a moment.

"I love you," Blaine gasps, and then he's back to it, leaning forward and driving deeper, as he reaches around with one hand to work over Kurt's cock, who drops his own head to watch.

"Oh fucking fuck, Blaine, gonna come. Gonna come so damn hard..."

"I washed the floor," is all Blaine can manage, before Kurt clenches hard around him and spills, splashing down onto the sparkling clean hardwood below, but somehow Blaine fails to care when his own orgasm hits at the feel of Kurt's, and he falls forward onto his back to empty inside of him. "Oh god, oh god, oh...oh..."

They are silent apart from heavy, labored breathing, and the occasional soft kiss that Blaine gives to Kurt's back and shoulders, and then he seems to come to a little bit more. "I fucked you against the front door," he says weakly, and Kurt sniggers beneath him. "I was supposed to say welcome home, let me take your coat, make you some tea, but I didn't. I just fucked you against the front door."

Kurt laughs louder still, and straightens up as Blaine does, spinning around in his arms until they're nose to nose. "I love you so damn much," he whispers against his lips. "Marry me."

"I'm so sorry," Blaine continues, completely horrified, and not listening at all to what Kurt has just said. "That was so...out of line. So wrong. I'm really sorry. I didn't even take you to bed, I just..."

"You just gave us both exactly what we wanted and needed," Kurt points out, deciding that now might not be the best moment to reissue his spur of the moment proposal. "It was epic and amazing, and _now_ I'm home...and later, we can do it all again."

"Against the door?"

"Anywhere you choose."

"You're really home," Blaine grins, as if he's only just realized. "You came back to me, my beautiful fashionista boyfriend. You're in my arms."

"Exactly where I belong," Kurt smiles, before kissing his beautiful, prim, proper, and utterly debauched boyfriend, just because he can.

"You make me wild," Blaine admits, kissing into his favorite spot just under Kurt's ear. "That's what you do to me, you make me want to rip your clothes off the second you're through that door, tea be damned."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"Hmm." Blaine grins against his skin, making Kurt tingle all over at the very feel of it. "I don't think it is, actually."

"You know, I could use a shower," Kurt says flirtatiously, with a bite to Blaine's shoulder. "Care to join me?"

"Um..."

Kurt sees Blaine's eyes flick over his shoulder, and bending down, he quickly snatches up his underwear and wipes up his mess. "Don't you even think about washing that floor," he snaps, turning and steering him toward the bathroom, leaving everything else exactly where it had landed.

"Okay," Blaine laughs, holding his hands up. "But don't you think you should call dad, let him know you're home?"

"No, he's expecting me home tomorrow too. Everyone is. This is your surprise and yours only. I think we should take a shower, order pizza, and eat it in bed until we're ready for round two," Kurt declares, and Blaine spins suddenly, scooping Kurt into his arms, and kissing him soundly on the mouth when he shrieks.

"Only if this time, I can ride you."

Kurt throws his head back and laughs loudly, hugging Blaine tight around the neck. "Well then, my darling boyfriend, you have yourself a deal."


	16. Chapter 16

Fair warning: This is angsty. Some of you might prefer to pick it up when chapter 18 is posted. The angst is NOT between Kurt and Blaine.

If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bunker ;)

* * *

><p>For two weeks, life is utterly sublime. Kurt and Blaine both leave the apartment only when entirely necessary, and together, if at all possible, but then they dash back to its sanctity once more, and most importantly, to each other's arms.<p>

"We should go out," Blaine muses, late one night. They lie on the couch, under a blanket, and Kurt lies mostly on top of Blaine's naked body, loving the feel of his hands smoothing down over the top of his butt, before moving back up, then somehow finding their way back down there again.

"Now? It's nearly midnight. Plus, I'm still full of your come."

Blaine laughs and kisses just above Kurt's temple. "Not now," he reassures. "Just...you know, tomorrow maybe. A date. I haven't taken you out since you arrived home."

"I haven't wanted to go out," Kurt points out. "Just in. You. A lot."

"Which is always entirely welcome, but real life must hit eventually, and I've got finals coming up, you want to push for this promotion..."

"Your finals are the first week in May."

"I know."

"It's March seventh."

"Exactly. And I'm just pointing out that things will get busy for us. I mean, I love this," he says, with a light squeeze to Kurt's butt, "but I also love our dates, and I don't want to end up trying to squeeze a really stressful and quick date in somewhere, when I've got the opportunity to take you out now. So tomorrow?"

"I'd like that," Kurt smiles, kissing his chest, and he really would. He loves that Blaine wants, and still feels the need, to take him out on dates. He will never tell him where they're going either, except maybe to say if they'll be eating or to dress up or not, but mostly he just tells him he'll pick him up at a set time, which means he will be ready first and pacing restlessly around the living room, until Kurt opens the bedroom door, then Blaine will kiss him politely on the cheek and escort him out the door.

They flirt outrageously on their dates too, no matter who's done the organizing. It's as if being out in public like that takes them back to those first few months of hedonistic discovery, the knowledge that at the end of the night, there would be kisses and whispered declarations, only this time it's without all the angst, mind games, and torment that both were going through at that time, and that makes it all so much better.

"I'll pick you up at six."

"I can do that," Kurt grins, and he knows this will mean dinner and a show somewhere, though with Blaine, this could mean the full on glitz and glamour of Broadway, or a small community theatre production of Macbeth out in Brooklyn. Either way, Kurt knows he will love every second.

It turns out to be an early dinner at a small little French bistro in Greenwich that they haven't visited before, and then Blaine walks Kurt three blocks over to watch Casablanca at an old fifties revival theatre. Blaine looks rather like a young Humphrey Bogart himself, actually, Kurt thinks, as he escorts him to his seat, and as the film starts, and the gray light flickers onto his beautiful, strong profile, Kurt sorely regrets not having brought the engagement ring with him. It's been burning a hole in his sock drawer since he returned from London, as he waited for that all important perfect moment, and he realizes tonight could have been it.

Well, maybe tomorrow can be it instead, he reasons as they watch the film together. Or the next night, maybe? A million and one plans formulate in Kurt's head during the course of the film, and he discards all of them, until it suddenly hits him. Last night, Blaine had happened to mention that he had still never been to Coney Island. Well, today was Wednesday. That would give Kurt two days to organise everything he needed to surprise his boy on Saturday with a trip out there, ending with a romantic proposal. Yes. That was what he was going to do.

"Saturday," he blurts loudly, the second the credits roll, and Blaine turns to look at him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"Saturday. You have a date," he orders. "Don't make any other plans."

"Oh." Blaine grins, then stands and holds Kurt's jacket out for him to slide into. "Okay."

"I'll pick you up at nine," he declares, then suddenly feels as if he might burst into inexplicable tears right there and then, so he pushes his way out of the theatre and onto the street, where he takes in great lungfuls of air.

"At night?" Blaine calls, as he catches up to him.

"In the morning."

"But it's..." he makes to whine a little, that it's Saturday and they usually cook a lazy breakfast together, before going back to bed for a couple of hours, but then he notices that Kurt is pale, clammy, and breathing funny. "Hey, you okay? You look sick. Are you sick? We should..."

"No, no, I'm fine," Kurt says, shaking his head to clear it a little. "Really. C'mon. Let's go home."

They walk along in silence for a little while, and though Kurt's arm is linked companionably through Blaine's, he still can't help but feel like something is amiss. "Did I...was that date not...not any good?"

"What?" Kurt frowns, and carries on walking. "Don't be dumb. It was lovely."

"Then why are you being...?"

"I'm not being anything," Kurt snaps. "Now are we walking the whole way, or getting a cab or what?"

"Um, well, we can walk, it's not too far, but..."

"Right."

"Kurt..."

"Shut up, Blaine."

Hurt, Blaine drops his arm and walks on alone, not really in the mood for caring if Kurt is following. He tries to replay events to see what went wrong, and where, but all he can come up with is that Kurt had bizarrely, and very loudly, asked him out at the end of the film, then turned tail and fled, and he can't for the life of him figure out why.

Stubborn, hopelessly unable to deal with heightened emotion, and always one to use anger to express any meaning he can, Kurt's mood actually only lasts a block before he grabs Blaine by the wrist and pulls him to a stop. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. I got overwhelmed and...well, I shouldn't have been mean to you, and I'm sorry, so there's that. I'm sorry. It's just..." he pauses, and rakes a hand through his immaculate hair, so Blaine knows how difficult he's finding all of this to say.

"The depth of my love for you scares me. Not just how I feel now, but how I will keep on feeling, keep on falling. I just fall heavier and harder for you every single day, and I don't know why it scares me, because it shouldn't, because you're you, and you've got me, and I'm safe. You're all I've ever wanted, and I don't want anyone else, and yet...it still terrifies me. It scares me that so much of me is wrapped up in so much of you. Not just our physical, actual life together, but all of it, body, heart, soul...that's so stupid, right? That it should scare me?"

Blaine gives a little shrug, his hands coming to rest on Kurt's waist. "That depends. If it scares you and means you want to run from it all, then yeah, that's pretty dumb, to want to let it all go."

"No!" Kurt cries desperately. "It's the opposite, Blaine, totally the opposite. I don't want to run from it, I want to keep it, and hold onto it for the rest of my life, and that's what scares me!"

"Well then, I'd say that's perfectly natural," Blaine laughs. "Sometimes, I walk along the street, and then I stop and think, 'holy crap, look at me. I'm twenty years old and settled down with the love of my life' and then I get home, and there you are, and I think I couldn't love you more if I tried...only then I wake up in the morning, and you're taking up the entire bed, looking like a drooling starfish with crazy bed hair, and I think, actually? I love you even more, if that were possible. And that just keeps happening, over and over."

"You keep falling in love with me?" Kurt whispers, completely in awe.

"No, you keep taking up the whole bed," Blaine teases, then turns serious once more. "Yes, I keep falling more in love with you. Every second of every day, and I will never stop. And I think it's probably...I don't know, a good thing, maybe? That we're both a little scared by it all, because I think it makes it real, and I think it just proves how precious this is to both of us."

"You're pretty remarkable, you know that?" Kurt asks, his fingers tangling in Blaine's hair.

"Well, I think we're pretty remarkable together, actually," Blaine smiles, kissing the tip of Kurt's nose. "But if you'd like to take me home and demonstrate..."

"That's exactly what I was planning," Kurt laughs, then leans in close and kisses his lips tenderly. "I love you, puppy. Please let me take you out on a special date on Saturday, and I'm sorry for asking the way I did before."

"I love you too, tiger, and I accept your apology. I'll be ready and waiting at nine in the morning on Saturday," Blaine whispers, then takes Kurt's hand in his and leads his date home.

* * *

><p>"Fucking, fucking, fuck!" Kurt yells the next day, storming home from work and kicking the apartment door closed behind him.<p>

"And a very good evening to you too, Kurt," Blaine calls from the kitchen, rolling his eyes affectionately. Sure enough, after a lot of door banging and muttered cursing, Kurt appears, grateful beyond belief to see an open beer ready and waiting for him on the counter, and dinner nearly done.

"I hate life, I hate my job, I hate everything and I'm not any good at anything," Kurt moans, and Blaine folds him into his arms without another word, kissing into his hair.

"You're pretty good at being my boyfriend."

"No I'm not, I treat you like shit most of the time."

"You do not!" Blaine laughs. "I'm not totally spineless, I wouldn't still be here if you did. Now what's wrong?"

"Ugh." Breaking away from Blaine, he sits at the kitchen table, and yet again he can feel tears pricking at his eyes, as they have been for the whole journey home. He grinds his fists into his eyes, takes a gulp of his beer, and sets it down, fiddling with the label. "So London went well, and you know I love working in runway."

"Yeah."

"Well they want me to give this presentation about it on Monday."

"Okay."

"No! Not okay!" Kurt cries. "For a start, I don't do presentations, things like that put the fear of God into me. Second, it's has to be my five picks from fashion week, anything I like, but they want what Kate described as, the 'unique Kurt Hummel perspective', not the stuff all the blogs and other magazines are talking about already. They want the stuff that might have escaped unnoticed, the embellishments on a blouse that could be big for the next spring lines, the one pair of shoes that nobody picked up on, the...oh fuck, I don't even know what else. I have to pick these five things, and if they like it, the stuff I come up with, then I'm going to be promoted to senior runway writer."

"What?" Blaine yells. "You only moved to runway two months ago! Kurt! That is amazing!"

"Apparently I have something, though fuck knows what anyone sees in me..."

"Get up," Blaine demands, and he pulls Kurt from his chair and lifts him up in the air, kissing him firmly, before setting him onto the counter. "I love you so much, you silly man. Don't come home stressing about a presentation, come home elated because they want to give you this chance!"

"But it's so much work, Blaine!"

"And we'll nail it," Blaine says firmly. "We can take a rain check on Saturday, and..."

"Oh no," Kurt barks, hopping down from the counter and giving him a firm shove in the chest. "I don't care if you lose both legs in a freak skiing accident, or if I get flattened by a bus, our date on Saturday is happening. End of story."

"Okay!" Blaine laughs, holding his hands up. "So then tonight we'll plan an outline. Go through all the pictures you took to see if you've overlooked anything, decide what five things you're going to present on. I'm home all day tomorrow, so I can get all my studying done then, which leaves me all of Friday night and all day Sunday to help you. I'll do whatever you want me to."

"Will you make my presentation look all pretty, and the photos all fit nice?" Kurt pouts.

"Of course I will."

"Will you make me tea and coffee, and just roll your eyes when I yell at you?"

"Naturally."

"And will you walk me to work on Monday morning?"

"Just try and stop me," Blaine whispers, kissing behind Kurt's ear. "And Monday night? We'll be going out to that Mexican place you like, to drink copious amounts of Sangria and eat fajitas."

Kurt falls into his embrace, gladly accepting the strong, supporting hug. "Thank you," he whispers over his shoulder. "See? This is why I love you so much."

* * *

><p>Kurt certainly goes to work feeling brighter on Friday morning. For a start, despite not getting to bed until three, he had, with Blaine's help, decided on his five fashion week picks to present on. His nerves were also eased somewhat over his imminent proposal the next day; the pressures of a major work promotion would do that, he guesses. He resolves to spend as little time as possible doing his actual work today, and as much time as he can daydreaming about proposing to Blaine tomorrow, and the look on his face when he does so.<p>

It is just after lunch, when Kate walks by his desk and calls over her shoulder. "Did you get anywhere with that presentation last night?"

"Oh, um, yes," he calls nervously, rapidly coming back into the room, and leaving all dreams of kneeling on the cold sand and looking into Blaine's eyes behind. "I uh, got my choices figured out. I think you'll like them."

"Good," she smiles. "Bring them to me this afternoon, I have a spare twenty minutes at three. I'll take a look and give you any feedback I can. I need you to nail this one, kid."

Kurt smiles brightly, knowing she is only being kind in her offer of assistance, but the second her office door is closed, he holds his head in his hands. "Fuuuuuck."

"What's up?" Fran, his colleague, asks from next to him. "She wants you to have this job, Kurt, we all do."

"I know, and that's sweet, but I didn't bring my memory stick with me, or my laptop, I just...I was so tired, and I didn't think I'd need it today, so... ugh, so now I'm gonna have to go home and get them."

"Oh honey. Does Blaine have class? Could you ask him to bring them in?"

"Oh!" Kurt suddenly remembers. "No he doesn't! He's home all day. He could bring them in, yes. Thank you Fran, you're a star!" and picking up the phone, he dials.

* * *

><p>Blaine always likes to study, he genuinely enjoys it, but he's struggling today, due to lack of sleep last night. By lunchtime, he needs some air and a change of scenery, so he takes a walk to the bakery at the end of the block, and wanders slowly back through the small park opposite his building.<p>

Refreshed, he manages to get another hour of studying done, before the apartment intercom makes him jump with its loud buzz. "Hello?"

"Uh...delivery for Blaine Anderson?" a muffled voice asks, and Blaine beams.

"Sure, come on up."

He's suddenly stupidly excited for the delivery, because he guesses it will be flowers from Kurt, and that doesn't happen often. That's not to say Kurt isn't romantic, but it's usually Blaine who brings flowers, or buys little gifts, whereas Kurt is more stealthy, hiding notes in his textbooks for him to find in class, writing messages on the steamy mirror, or sending him explicit photos, which shocked Blaine at first, but now just give him an intense thrill. So when the knock comes at the apartment door, he pulls it open expecting to see a florist, but what he actually gets, is Spencer, the guy he has managed to avoid for the past two years, and his son Simon, looming large behind him.

"What the...?" Blaine starts, but then Spencer's hand is at his throat, driving him all the way back into the apartment, and slamming him into the living room wall, while Simon kicks the door closed behind them.

Blaine is trapped, alone with his tormentors, with no way of getting any help.

"Where is she?" Spencer growls in his face, but Blaine can't answer, the grip Spencer has on his throat is too tight, and all he can do is try to gasp for breath. "I said where the fuck is she, you snivelling little shit!"

More gasping, as Blaine just about manages to balance on his toes, his eyes bulging in fear. It's too much, happening too fast, and he can't reconcile the fact that Simon is now tearing through his home, trashing it, while Spencer slams him hard into the wall. "Speak to me you fucking faggot! Where is she, huh? You thought you could win her over? You think it's fun to tell her to leave home? This your idea of revenge?"

"I..." Blaine gasps, reaching up and pulling at his fingers to try and get some more air. "I don't know...what...you..."

"Oh you know," Spencer snarls, and his fist connects squarely with Blaine's cheekbone. From the ear splitting crack and sharp burst of pain, Blaine screams, his legs buckling beneath him, as it becomes all about protecting himself as best he can. All he can think, as another blow is landed to his stomach, is of Kurt. His beautiful Kurt, who will come home hours later to find him like this.

"You fucking know!" Spencer is screaming, as Blaine curls on the floor and tries to get out of harms way, but there is no escape. After all this time, Spencer has the opportunity he has been waiting for, and all the years of bitterness and anger he has built towards Blaine, is now flying forth in a tirade of abuse, punches and kicks.

"She's not here," Simon suddenly declares, and Spencer pauses, his hand fisting the back of Blaine's sweater, the other fist poised to punch at his head.

"What?"

"She's not here," Simon shrugs. "I've been through the whole place, but there's no way she's here."

"So where is she then?" Spencer asks Blaine, who is now sobbing uncontrollably.

"I don't know! I don't know, I swear! Just leave me alone, please! Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't..."

"Look at you," Spencer sneers. "Begging. Is that what you do, huh? Is that how you beg him for his dick in your ass?"

"Please, please," Simon mocks in a high pitched voice. "Oh please give it to me, because I'm not man enough to give it to anyone else."

Blaine doesn't care that he looks or sounds pathetic, he doesn't care that he is openly crying, or that he feels sixteen again, he only cares that they go, that they leave him alone. "Please," he cries. "Just leave. I'll never tell anyone I swear, I just..."

"And Hummel gives it, of course," Spencer laughs, as he towers over him. "Because he's too much of a fag to ever be able to stick it to a woman."

"Don't talk about him like that!" Blaine screams, suddenly losing it. He'll take it all, whatever they want to dish out, but he won't take their lewd insults about Kurt.

"Oh?"

"Kurt is more of a man than you two will ever be!" Blaine yells, staggering to his feet and wiping blood from his mouth. "He loves, he cares, and he's not afraid to let anyone see it. He doesn't need to kick the shit out of people just to try and prove his worth. Look at you!" he cries, gesturing around the shattered apartment. "This is all you've got! You turn up here, trashing my stuff, hitting me, all because you want to find mom. Why? Because she's finally gotten some sense? Well good! You don't like it? You think this threatens your masculinity? And Kurt and I, living quietly here in New York, somehow makes you feel like less of a man? Who's the dick with the issues, Spencer? Cause it's sure as hell not any of us."

Blaine draws up short, as he suddenly realizes what he's done. Spencer is red with anger, and Simon is the same. The first punch comes, followed by the second and the third, and then so many that Blaine loses count, falling to the floor, for Simon's foot to kick hard into his shoulder, making him scream in untold agony.

* * *

><p>"You had better have a damn good reason for not answering my calls," Kurt mutters angrily, as he runs up the stairs to his apartment. He is more than a little annoyed, having gotten no answer from Blaine at all, even on the cab ride over, so he had to let the cab go, and come inside to grab his laptop himself. He knows Blaine is entitled to a life, but equally, he knows he's about to unleash the full force of his fury upon him, just for not picking up his phone.<p>

Only, when he throws open the apartment door in a towering rage, Kurt stops dead. He is just in time to see Simon kick Blaine hard in the groin, and stamp down too, making Blaine scream louder and higher than Kurt would have ever thought possible. There is a split second, where time seems to freeze, as Kurt realizes exactly who these two people are, and that Blaine is lying badly beaten at their feet, and then his anger takes hold.

Spurred on by a fury he never in his wildest dreams imagined he could posses, Kurt gives a roar of anger as he launches himself at Simon first, punching, biting, hitting, kicking any part of him he can reach, before he feels Spencer starting to land blows to his back and shoulders.

Whirling around, as quick as a flash, Kurt fists the front of a clearly startled Spencer's shirt. "You bastard" is all he hisses, quietly, venomously, before he lands his first punch, which cracks across Spencer's jaw and causes him to cry out. "I'm gonna fucking kill you," Kurt suddenly roars. "I swear. For all you've done to him, I'm gonna kill you," and his second punch lands even harder.

Kurt has never broken someone's nose before, but he knows he's done it big time from the enormous crack and massive spray of blood that splatters across the living room wall. It is at this point that Brian, on his way down the stairs, sees the apartment door wide open, and decides to take a look in.

Carnage greets him; Blaine curled more or less comatose on the floor of a trashed apartment as a wild, possessed Kurt takes on two grown men with ease. He doesn't stop hitting, every ounce of anger and hatred that has built over the years toward these men comes forth, as Brian rushes in.

"Kurt! Woah! Kurt, Kurt!" Catching him around the waist, Brian hauls him away, just enough for Spencer and Simon to run, and they do, tearing out of the apartment, while Brian holds a flailing Kurt tightly in his arms. "Kurt! Come on. Stop. Stop. You nearly killed them. What's going on? Were you robbed? I'm calling the cops. I'm..."

"My Blaine," Kurt says suddenly, falling to the floor and cradling Blaine's head in his hands. "Oh Blaine, my darling, Blaine..."

"Blaine? Blaine? Can you hear us?" Brian asks, and Blaine squints up through his rapidly swelling eye.

"S'okay. I'm okay."

"Blaine, did they break in? I need to call the cops and get you to a hospital," Brian is saying, but Kurt is by his side, tenderly brushing his hair off his forehead, as his tears splash down onto his cheeks.

"No, no, they were...that's Blaine's..." Kurt chokes off, unable and unwilling to say the word stepfather, when he's never been anything remotely like that at all. "It's the guy Angie is married to, and his son," Kurt finishes quietly.

"Um...okay. Oh...crap. This is bad. This is really bad. Okay, we need to...look, Kurt? We need to get Blaine to a hospital. Do you think you can get him downstairs? I'll go get my car and meet you out front."

Kurt nods, looking down at Blaine, who seems to be drifting in and out. "But Loic..."

"Really Kurt? Really? You think he'll even notice if I don't show?" Brian snaps, but he places a firm, reassuring hand on Kurt's shoulder, before getting to his feet. "Meet me out front. Move him carefully."

In a complete daze, Kurt acts on autopilot as soon as Brian is gone, grabbing his bag and keys, and pulling Blaine's old running shoes onto his feet. "Blaine? Sweetie? We need to get you to the hospital. You're uh...you're in need of a few bandaids there." He tries for joking, but it comes out as a muffled sob when he sees Blaine try to smile. "You'll be okay," he says, trying to convince himself. "You'll be just fine. Can you uh...can we just...?"

Gently and tenderly, Kurt gets Blaine to his feet, though he is still doubled over with stabbing pain in his groin, and his shoulder feels excruciating. "My...you know...he...he hurt me," Blaine whispers sadly. "They got me, Kurt, they got me."

"I know," Kurt whispers, trying to hide his tears, as he helps his boyfriend stagger toward the door. "I know. But they can't get you now, Blaine. I'm here. I'll always be here. I love you, okay? Now let's get you fixed."

* * *

><p>Kurt sits down heavily on the shiny plastic chair, and he finds himself grateful yet again for Brian, who puts an arm around his shoulders and hands him a bottle of water.<p>

"The doctor still with him?"

"Yeah," Kurt sighs. "Just gotta wait, I suppose."

"So those guys forced their way in, or what?"

"No, Blaine let them in, thinking it was a delivery. I don't even know how they found him, but they did."

"But why, though? I mean, are they seeking revenge on him, or what? What will his mom say?"

"Ha." Kurt's short, sharp laugh, is full of bitterness and pain, as he thinks back to all that time Blaine spent living with them, putting up with endless bullying and taunts, while Angie turned a blind eye. "Well, she'll probably tell him boys will be boys, but we'll see what the cops think about that."

"You're going to call them?"

"Of course I am!" Kurt exclaims in surprise. "Did you not see the state of Blaine when we arrived here? They launched a planned attack on him, and those bastards will pay for it, I'll see to it."

"I get all that," Brian says quietly, trying to soothe this angry young man beside him. "But I also get that their blood is splattered all over your living room wall, and when they do catch up to them, one of them will have a broken nose at least, if not a broken jaw as well, and the other will be badly beaten and bruised. From what you've told me about them already, Kurt, it sounds as though you might be better to just put all this to bed and concentrate on helping Blaine to heal."

Kurt thinks. If Spencer chooses, he could turn around and bring charges against Kurt. He'll lose his job for sure, and he'll have a record of course, meaning most other jobs of note would be out of his reach too. This would mean a return to his barista days to support them both while Blaine finishes college, and in the future, it will mean his children will have a father with a record for assault and battery.

"I'm not leaving it," he says firmly, ignoring Brian shaking his head in despair. "When I first met Blaine, he was this timid, frightened little sixteen year old. He lived through hell from Spencer and those jerks, and I have tried, over and over, to leave it be. I've welcomed Angie into our home, listened to her talk about them, and I've done my absolute best to bite my tongue, but not anymore. What they did was disgusting, and how do you think I felt, huh? Coming home to find them beating him up like that? No, I'm sorry, but consequences be damned. I'm going to the cops, and I'm not going to rest until they're charged."

"Okay," Brian sighs. "Just...promise me you'll talk this through with Blaine before you call anyone, please?"

"Why?"

"Because he's your partner, and he deserves your respect," Brian says bluntly. "I'm aware I don't know you very well, but you're a hot headed young man, Kurt. Blaine will be deeply emotionally scarred by this, and you will need to respect his wishes and not let anger cloud your judgement. Don't make him feel like you're taking charge and railroading him into things, let him feel as if you reach these decisions together, as a couple, and let him feel as if you're working through this side by side, even if you're leading the way."

"Well whatever, we either go to the cops, or I let my dad handle things, and I'm pretty sure I know which one Blaine would prefer."

"Have you told Burt?"

"No." Kurt sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "I was waiting for the doctors to finish with him but...it's like nearly nine already," he says in awe. "How did that happen? If I call him now he'll rush to the airport in a panic, and arrive here at some ungodly hour."

"So call him tomorrow," Brian says kindly. "First thing. Stay here tonight with Blaine, and then you'll be able to call your dad with a much clearer picture, and he can fly out when he's ready."

"Yeah, I guess," Kurt sighs. He doesn't feel easy about it, his instinct is always to run to his dad, and he knows Blaine will be needing to see him, but Brian is right. The morning would be better than calling now, and either having Burt fly in to New York in the early hours, or spending a sleepless night at home worrying.

A nurse arrives, telling Kurt that Blaine has been moved to a room on the seventh floor, and he can go up when he's ready, and then Brian stands, pulling Kurt into a tight hug. "I'll cry," Kurt whispers into his shoulder.

"Oh stop. I might have thirty years on you, but I'd still like to think we're friends. After all you've been through, a hug is the very least I can offer."

So Kurt hugs back, and lets a few tears escape, but not all of them. If he breaks now, he doesn't think he'll ever get it back together, and he needs to be strong for Blaine. "Thank you for everything," he whispers to Brian. "For bringing us here, for staying with me...just thank you."

"Not at all. Listen, if you want to give me a key, I'll grab you some clothes and things and bring them back. It's no trouble."

Kurt nods, pressing his keys into Brian's hand, before heading upstairs to find his love.

Lying in a hospital bed looking pale and small, Kurt has to try his hardest not to gasp and break down completely when he first sees Blaine. He's cleaned up, obviously, but he has a swollen black eye on his right hand side, and that arm is in a sling resting on his chest too. He's attached to a drip of what Kurt assumes is painkillers, and he looks to be asleep, though when he hears the door, he tries to open his eyes and smile.

"S'all wobbly," he croaks, his voice hoarse as Kurt pulls up a chair. "S'all funny an wobbly."

"Yeah, you're on drugs," Kurt says, managing a small laugh. He leans down and takes Blaine's hand, kissing the back of it and pressing it against his cheek. "I love you, Blaine. I'm so..."

But he is cut off from saying more, by the arrival of a kind looking doctor, who picks up Blaine's chart and reads it, before smiling at Kurt. "Okay, so your man has a broken collarbone," he tells Kurt matter-of-factly. "Which is why it's in the sling. It'll take about six weeks to heal, and it'll be fairly painful for a couple of weeks, but it's still better than a fractured shoulder, which is what we thought he had. What else? Well, bruising, mainly, particularly to his ribs and face, but uh the most...severe bruising, is to his groin."

"He said something about that," Kurt murmurs. "When I arrived, it was just in time to see him getting kicked and stamped there. His uh...stepbrother of sorts, I guess. He's injured him there before."

"One of those jerks who feels threatened because your man here is gay, huh?" the doctor asks, and Kurt nods.

"Yes, well, there's a lot I could say about people like that, but hopefully the cops will do that for me. Anyway, with regard to Blaine...his injury there is quite severe. He will be in a lot of pain for quite a while. I'll be back to talk to both of you about it tomorrow, but for now I think you should try and rest."

"I'm okay to stay?"

"Of course. There's a cot in the corner there, and make sure you use it, and don't just sit here all night. Blaine is quite heavily sedated, so though he might wake and have a little conversation, he won't make much sense. He's probably dreaming of unicorns and pink elephants or something," the doctor says with a laugh. "I'll be back tomorrow."

So Kurt sits, ignoring the doctors advice, and waits for Blaine to wake or stir in any way at all, but he doesn't. Brian arrives with a bag of clothes and toiletries, and Kurt uses the bathroom quickly, changing into yoga pants and a t-shirt of Blaine's, which comforts him somewhat, and then he returns to his hand holding once more, gazing at Blaine's profile as he sleeps. It's the early hours when he cracks one eye open, the other being too swollen, and manages to clearly look over at Kurt.

"Hey tiger."

"Oh! Hey, hey," Kurt smiles. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good," Blaine admits. "Can't feel nothing."

"Anything."

"That."

"Well, that's good. The doctor said they're giving you the good stuff right now. Do you uh...do you remember what happened?"

"Spencer."

"Yeah."

"And you were my hero."

"Hardly," Kurt says sadly. "I didn't really manage to do anything."

"You fighted for me. My knight in...in...in a shiny suit thing, with a hat."

"You're funny when you're high," Kurt says, smiling, but then he bows his head and starts to cry.

"Hey..." Blaine reaches out with his left hand, running it into Kurt's hair to soothe him as best he can. "Kurt...don't cry. I'm still here, still love you. Love you more, really, because you saved me. I thought no one would come."

"I'm so sorry," Kurt gasps, wiping at his eyes. "Blaine, I'm so sorry. I let you down so badly, and I..."

"Let me down?" Blaine asks in confusion. "Where? When?"

"I promised you that you would never have to see them again. I told you, after that time we went for dinner, I said you would never have to go through that."

"Kurt...how were you supposed to know that? How...I don't..." Blaine becomes confused, his brain scrambling for the right words. He knows what it is he wants to say, he just doesn't know how to go about saying it. "Get up here. Come on the bed."

"Can I? I don't know which...where to go, I don't..."

"Neither do I," Blaine admits, looking in confusion at his one arm in a sling, and the other attached to the drip. "Just...here. Pull back the covers and get in."

Carefully, Kurt climbs in next to Blaine, curling on his side. Blaine's left arm curls around his shoulders, and Kurt immediately feels better, like he belongs, and like together, they will be okay.

"Gimme kiss," Blaine says quietly, gazing adoringly at Kurt, who gently grazes their lips together. "You did not let me down," Blaine repeats softly, yet firmly. "You could never let me down, except for that time you bought the wrong smoked cheese. I was disappointed then."

"Oh shut up," Kurt says, laughing through his tears. "I hate you."

"I know." Blaine grins smugly, happy to have Kurt looking at least a little happier. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Well, it's after two in the morning," Kurt says, grazing his fingers lightly over his good cheek. "It'd be kinda rude if you kicked me out now."

"That makes me happy."

"Good. And tomorrow we'll talk to the doctors a bit more, and the cops."

"No we won't."

"Excuse me?"

"Kurt, you broke a man's face. Like, literally broke it. Across our living room wall. Spencer is evil. One look in from the cops, and he'll be filing charges against you. Just leave it."

"But..."

"But nothing. I let a lot of things slide with you, because you're a moody petulant bastard when you want to be, but I won't be swayed on this. We won't be reporting any of this, because there is no way I'm going to watch you get sent down and have a criminal record, just because you defended me."

"But I want to..."

"I will kick you out, Kurt," Blaine says angrily, and Kurt can tell he really means it. "And not just out of here, but out of my life too, if you dare take this any further."

"But what can I do then? I feel helpless and I..."

"Find my mom," Blaine says, suddenly remembering. "That's why they came for me, because they thought mom was with me. She's left him. I forgot that. She's gone, and I don't know where, but they assumed she had come to me."

"This is a huge, fucked up mess," Kurt moans.

"I know. But I need to know she's safe. Please Kurt, promise me that in the morning, you'll try calling her. Don't tell her about this, not yet, anyway, but just tell her you were calling to say hi or something."

Kurt thinks Blaine is a lunatic, if he really believes that Angie won't think it's strange that Kurt is calling her to say hi, but he gives a nod and kisses his cheek, before settling down with his head tentatively resting on Blaine's chest. "This okay?"

"Perfect," Blaine murmurs, already sleepy again. "Just perfect."


	17. Chapter 17

Burt Hummel pours coffee, settles down at the kitchen table, opens his newspaper, and waits. Sure enough, he soon hears footsteps and he looks up, offering as genuine a smile as he can, as he pushes a second cup across the table. "Here."

"Thanks."

"Sleep well?"

"Okay, I guess." Angie shrugs, tucking her hair behind her ears before sipping at her coffee. "I woke up at four and couldn't get back to sleep. Too much to think about."

"Yeah, well...you ready to talk?"

"I'm not going back."

"Good, if you mean it, that is."

"I do," Angie says firmly, and Burt notices that same quiet determination that he sees in Blaine when he's fixed on something.

"So why'd you leave?"

"I told you, he did something terrible."

"But you won't tell me what," Burt points out. "And since you seem to be living here..."

"I'm not living here!" Angie cries. "I just didn't know where else to go. I'll leave, if that's what you want."

"That's not what I want," Burt says exasperatedly. "What I want is for you to tell me what he's done, what was that final straw? Cause me and Blaine, and God knows Kurt too, we've been telling you to leave that jerk since forever, but you haven't listened, then suddenly you're on my doorstep. You say he didn't hit you, but..."

"He didn't," Angie says, with a shake of her head. "He's just...he's done something awful."

"Cheated on you?"

"No."

"Stolen from you?"

"Kind of."

"Kind of? What does that mean?" Burt asks in confusion.

"It means he..." Angie stops suddenly, and looks Burt right in the eye. "What the hell have I done?"

"Huh?"

"To my son," she whispers, and Burt sees the moment the veil is finally, completely lifted. "Oh my god, Burt, what did I ever put him through? And why? For what? I've ruined everything with him for four years of utter misery. I put him through hell and I turned a blind eye to it all. And Carl..." she takes a huge gasp of air, before her tears hit and she breaks down completely. "Oh my god, Carl, Carl, I ruined his life, Burt. He died! He died thinking I didn't love him, and he died knowing I was cheating on him, oh...oh...Blaine, Carl...what am I? What kind of evil, hateful person am I?"

"Okay, easy there, come on," Burt says gruffly, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. "Come on, let it all out. Have a good cry and then we'll talk."

"I've lost it all!" Angie wails, as Burt holds her tight in his arms.

"No you haven't. You've still got all of us, because we all knew this day would come. Now come on, you've got a home here with me for as long as you need one," he says, shoving all thoughts of an enraged Kurt to the back of his mind. He knows Blaine will be upset too, but he'll be damned if he's going to throw her out now.

It had been a bit of a shock when the doorbell sounded last night, not least because no one ever really came to his house after dark. To see Angie standing there, her car parked haphazardly across the driveway, had been an even bigger surprise. "I've left him," was all she had said, before Burt had nodded, pulled the door open, and let her in.

She had packed her bags early that morning and left home before anyone was awake, she told Burt over a large glass of whiskey. She had driven aimlessly for a while around Baltimore, and had even toyed with the idea of heading to New York, but she figured that it wouldn't be fair to bring all this onto Blaine, and before she had really thought it through, she was heading toward Ohio, and the one person other than Blaine she knew she could trust.

She hadn't really spoken much last night, just said over and over that she couldn't and wouldn't go back, while Burt carried her bags inside and got her settled in the guest room, and then she had promptly taken a shower and gone to bed at around midnight, while Burt stayed sitting in the den until the early hours, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.

"I have to tell Blaine," Angie sniffs, rubbing at her eyes. "I need to tell him first, then I can talk to you."

"Okay, I respect that," Burt shrugs, then sighs as the house phone starts to ring. "Look, let me get that, and then I'll make us some breakfast. I'm good at French toast, thanks to Kurt."

When he returns, he is white, and looks like he is about to collapse any second. He leans heavily on the counter, breathing hard, and Angie rushes to his side. "Burt? What happened?"

"That's what he did?" Burt asks through gritted teeth. "That's what made you leave him? And you didn't think to tell me?"

"What? What are you...? Who called?"

"He beat my son!" Burt roars, storming away from her. "He beat my son and now he's lying in a hospital bed!"

"What?" It's Angie's turn to feel all her strength ebbing away, as she sits heavily in a chair. "Spencer? He beat Kurt?"

"Blaine!" Burt yells. "Spencer and Simon beat Blaine, and now he's in the hospital! You didn't think to tell me that's why you left? You didn't think I'd want to know?"

"What? You think I know?! Are you insane? How would I...why...why would I come here if I knew he'd done that? What...Blaine? Is he okay?"

"Clearly he's not okay, because he's in the hospital!" Burt screams. "He's in the hospital because you married that fucking asshole, and now I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna hunt him down for this, and I'm gonna kill him."

"Burt," Angie cries, as her panicked tears begin. "Burt, really, I didn't know. My son...he's my son too," she says firmly. "And I need to see him."

"Okay," Burt grumbles, his immediate temper calming somewhat. "Okay, you didn't know, I can see that. Sorry. Look, I'm going to New York. Now. I need to see my boys."

"Can I come?"

"If you really must," Burt snaps, before stamping down the hallway. "Get dressed and pack a bag. I leave in ten."

It is a completely silent ride to the airport. Angie wants to know more, such as why and how Spencer found Blaine, and how badly injured he is, but she doesn't dare speak. The hard set of Burt's jaw as he speeds down the highway tells her all she needs to know, and she can see exactly where Kurt gets his temper from.

Burt feels like he's going to throw up at any second. He doesn't have a clue when the next flight is, he only knows that he needs to be on it, and he will be at any cost, even if that means leaving Angie to wait for the next one. He knows he is being unreasonably cold, and he does accept that whatever the reason for Angie leaving, she really didn't know Spencer had gone after Blaine. Still, the fact remains that if she hadn't been so stupid, back when Blaine was just fifteen, if she hadn't had her head turned by this evil monster, none of this would have happened.

Kurt had found him, he said. He had forgotten his laptop, so he came rushing home unexpectedly in the middle of the day, and Burt thanks god that he did. Blaine was on the floor, and they were laying into him. Kurt hadn't divulged what else had happened, but when Burt had mentioned the police, there had been a stiff and uncomfortable silence, which led him to believe that maybe Kurt had retaliated in some way.

Well, good.

A broken collarbone and severe bruising was apparently what Blaine was now dealing with, but he knows Kurt, and he knows he's trying to make it sound less serious than it actually is, so that Burt won't worry, but he is. He's worried, he's scared, and he needs to hold both of his sons in his arms, and then he needs to seek revenge.

Burt parks quickly, and they rush into the terminal, where he doesn't even hesitate in handing over his credit card to pay nearly fifteen hundred dollars for two last minute flights to JFK. "Burt," Angie whispers. "That's...let me pay, please."

"Just be quiet," he barks, and snatches their boarding passes. "Let's go."

The wait for the flight is the worst part. They only have carry-on luggage, meaning they're checked in and ready to fly right away, and then trapped waiting, pacing aimlessly up and down, while Burt tries to call Kurt again but gets no reply.

"He might be sleeping," Angie offers.

"I highly doubt that. He's probably tending to his boyfriend like he's been doing since yesterday."

"Did he say uh...what injuries, or..."

"Broken collarbone. Bruising."

"Oh. Well. That's not..."

Burt stops dead and stares accusingly. "That's not what? That's not too bad? Is that what you were going to say? Huh?"

"No, I was just meaning...it could have been worse," Angie says weakly, then shuts up again. Now is not the time to try and look on the bright side. Clearly for Burt, that time might be quite a way off.

"Yeah, coulda been worse," Burt says loudly, throwing his hands up in despair. "They coulda killed him, after all. How lucky Kurt came home and intervened. Dunno what they're all complaining about really. It's nothing, is it? Y'know, when you let someone into your apartment, expecting it to be a delivery guy, and then you're savagely beaten. Yeah. Cause that won't scar you for life at all, especially not when you've spent three years trying to get over the bastard that ruined your whole life. Nah, it won't shatter all your confidence at all. No way."

"Sorry," Angie whispers, and Burt feels a small pang of regret when he sees her openly crying. "I just...find myself grateful that he's perhaps not as bad as I feared, that's all."

Burt gives a grunt of acknowledgment, and then sits in silence until their flight is finally called. He's grateful they had to sit separately, otherwise he thinks one of them at least wouldn't make it off the flight, but the second it touches down, they are hurrying out through the terminal to find a cab.

Mercifully, for late on a Saturday morning, the traffic isn't too heavy, and they make good time getting into the city, with Burt slowly typing a text to Kurt informing him that they are on their way.

"Did you want me to type that?" Angie asks, and Burt gives her a withering glare.

"No."

"Okay."

"I'm done now."

"I hope they didn't hurt his pretty face," Angie murmurs, then stiffens when she sees Burt turning red with anger.

"Really? Really? Do you think that's foremost in anyone's mind right now? Jesus, even Kurt isn't as shallow as you."

"Shallow?" Angie yells, too loudly for the confines of their cab. "Shallow? No, Burt, fucking terrified, that's what I am. Terrified, and feeling out of place, and like I don't belong, like I have no right to be here or to even try and comfort my son, when super Burt, the greatest dad in the whole wide world, is coming to the rescue. We'll get there, and I will be totally ignored. Nothing about my son's welfare will be discussed with me, and I will have no say in what happens from here on in, because as everyone loves to keep reminding me, I fucked up, meaning he's your son now, and he belongs to you and Kurt. You three are the Hummel's, as if I could ever forget, and I'm just some poor relation who gets invited to spend holidays, because you all take pity on me. Don't worry Burt, I won't forget my role, I've had quite a lot of practice at playing my part."

"I'm sorry," Burt says awkwardly, once they're on the sidewalk outside the hospital. "Really. You're right, he's your son, I just... I have quite a protective nature, and when I met Blaine, he was...he was broken," he tells her, and Angie looks down at the sidewalk and nods. "He was this broken little boy, and I wasn't even looking to take anyone in, find a son, or whatever, I just thought the kid looked like he could use a break, that's all. Well, I'd like to think I went some way toward fixing him a little bit at least."

"You did, you have," Angie says earnestly, placing a hand on his arm.

"Well you see, it makes no difference to me that I didn't hold him when he was seconds old, or that I didn't watch him take his first steps, cause I held him when he was at his lowest, and I came to love him just as I love Kurt. I don't say all that to take away that he's yours, just to try and say that...well, I'm upset. I'm upset that I wasn't there for him this time, and that now he's all broken again, and I don't know if I'll be able to fix him."

"We all can," Angie whispers, her eyes filled with tears. "And don't apologize for being protective, there's really no need. You wanna know something?"

"Sure."

"You've held me at my lowest too, and Kurt, and you've helped to fix all of us. You're a very special man, Burt Hummel, and it's okay to admit to being scared. It's not much, but I really don't know where I'd be without you, and I can't thank you enough. I'm sorry that I keep saying dumb things, it's just...I don't know what else to say, because I'm scared too."

"Hmm. Well, I guess we better go inside," he says gruffly, but he does give her a hug, and keeps his arm around her shoulders as they walk. "Go find our son."

"That's weird, isn't it? Our son, when..."

"Very, now let's not say any more about it."

Burt marches into the hospital and up to the seventh floor, where he booms his arrival at a startled nurse, who scurries down the corridor leading the way to Blaine's room. "I'll just see if he's..." she says quietly, and gives a knock to the door, before poking her head inside. "Your dad is here," she tells Blaine, who is propped up with the aid of a lot of pillows, as Kurt tries to convince him to eat. "Do you want me to show him in?"

"I didn't know he was coming," a shocked Blaine whispers, and though he really doesn't know why, he suddenly feels afraid, as if Burt might be angry at him in some way. "You didn't say," he tells Kurt, who sets the pudding down on his table.

"Well, I called him this morning. He has to know, Blaine."

"I know, but I..."

"Okay. Take a few minutes," Kurt says, rising and kissing his forehead. "I'll go talk to him."

The sight of Burt standing there waiting is enough to send Kurt stumbling toward him, into his arms, where he finally feels it's okay to let himself go limp and for the tears to come. "Dad," is all he whispers, while Burt just holds him tightly as only Burt can do.

"It's okay, sunshine, it's okay."

"It's not," Kurt sobs. "It's not. He's sixteen again, dad. He's scared of every noise, every movement, I'm frightened I'm gonna say or do the wrong thing and upset him, and he's all bashed up and..." He stops dead, suddenly noticing Angie standing quietly by. "What the hell is she doing here?" he snaps, pushing out of his dad's embrace. "I've been calling you!"

"Kurt, I..." Angie starts, but she is quite unprepared for the full force of Kurt's anger.

"Blaine's been out of his damn mind! Spencer showed up looking for you, you realize that? That's why all of this shit happened," he yells in her face, and Burt quickly positions himself between them both.

"Easy son, Angie didn't know. She came to me last night. We had no idea that..."

"But she didn't answer my calls! Blaine asked me to find you, he needed to know you were okay, and now I find out you've been hiding at dad's while my boyfriend took the wrap for you going missing?"

"Kurt really, I didn't know that all this would happen, I had to leave, I had to..."

"Oh save it for someone who cares," Kurt snaps. "I've had it with you. This is all your fault, Angie, every last bit of it."

"Come on, Kurt," Burt tries, but he's marching swiftly back to Blaine's room, and closes the door behind himself without a word.

"Are you mad at me?" a timid Blaine asks, as Kurt leans against the door and draws in a sharp breath.

"What? No. Never. Uh...so, I found your mom."

"You did?"

"Yeah," Kurt mumbles, silently cursing Blaine for looking so elated. "She's outside."

"My mom?"

"Yeah."

"She came for me?"

Again, Blaine looks so delighted to hear of Angie's presence that Kurt can feel the familiar stab of resentment in his gut as he moves away from the door to sit by him. "Came or was brought. It appears she left Spencer and went right to dad, so when I called him, it followed that she would come with him."

"Oh."

"I know."

The unspoken hangs in the air between them, but Kurt decides to broach it first. "I feel pissed off, you know?"

"You've been crying," Blaine notes, reaching out to caress his cheek.

"Yeah but that...well that's more because of you."

"Sorry."

"No, no, don't ever be sorry," Kurt says quickly. "I just...I don't know. I should be glad she got out, right? Only I'm not, because I'm angry that they came for you. How did they find you? How did they know where we lived? Why did she escape and you have to go through all this?"

"Kurt it's..." Blaine breaks off, as he struggles to sit up, the pain in his groin tearing through him. "It's better that it was me, really."

"It's not! How can you say that? How is it better?"

"Because who would want to get a call saying their mom had been killed, huh? That's what it would have been. They wouldn't have stopped. They only stopped with me because you nearly killed them first, you ninja warrior, you."

"Shut up," Kurt says, but he bows his head onto Blaine's tummy, and lets him play with his hair. "I never knew I had that kind of strength."

"Fuelled by anger and adrenaline," Blaine murmurs, moving his hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Listen tiger, I love you so much, but please don't be angry at my mom for this, or dad for that matter. Just be glad that she did leave, and that she felt comfortable enough to go to him, because if she had come to us, it could have been a whole different story."

"Don't be right," Kurt mutters, climbing onto the bed to rest next to him. "I can't stand it."

"I know, but I'm always right," Blaine grins. "I'm so glad we have each other," he whispers, turning serious. "Forever."

"Me too. And you are right, there's no point in blaming anyone, we just need to work on getting you better. Not just on the outside, but in here too," he says, resting a hand over Blaine's heart. "How are you feeling now?"

"A little better, still sore though. My junk is killing me," he admits shyly. "Like it's super painful down there."

"Does it hurt when you pee?"

"Kuuuurt."

"Don't."

"A bit," he admits. "But mostly it just hurts all the time. When I go to the bathroom, it's not really much more painful, just...well, sore, and it's kinda hard to make it come out, you know?"

"We can ask the doctor when he comes back."

"I get embarrassed."

"I don't care. We're asking."

"Do you think they'll let me go home?" Blaine asks hopefully. "We have a date on Saturday, don't forget."

"Oh honey, it's Saturday today," Kurt says sadly. "But don't worry, we'll take a rain check."

"But you said nothing was stopping us."

"I know, but...well, it doesn't matter for now." Kurt manages to smile, but inside he's falling apart. He was supposed to be proposing to Blaine today, not sitting in a hospital panicking about whether he can go to the bathroom properly. "I'm...you know what? I'm gonna go apologize to your mom," he says, hoping Blaine can't see his tears. "I'll send dad in, if that's okay?"

"Sure."

There is a moment, when Burt enters the room, when neither one knows what to say. It's been a long time since they've been through hard times together, and mostly nowadays their reunions are happy, fun filled occasions, with lots of laughs.

Not this time, though.

This time Burt gives a short, crisp nod, which is really just a cover up for not crying, and reads over Blaine's chart on the end of the bed, even though he has no clue what any of it means. When he finally feels like he can trust his voice, he looks up again to see Blaine staring back at him with wide eyes.

"Broken collar bone, huh?"

"Yes."

"I had that. Fell off my bike when I was twelve. Hurt like hell. You have to be careful with it."

"I will."

"Uh-huh. And how're you feeling otherwise?"

"Okay," Blaine lies, though he knows Burt will see right through the pretense. "Yeah. I mean my eye is a little sore but...okay."

"It looks hideous," Burt tells him bluntly. "You know, your mom was worried they'd go for your face."

"Well, they did."

"And elsewhere, I understand."

"Why do you always know everything?" Blaine whines, turning beet red.

"I'm your dad, it's my job," Burt declares, then finally settles himself on the bed next to him and gives a kiss into his hair. "Kurt's worried about ya."

"Kurt treats me like I'm five," Blaine says, but it's not accusatory, more a statement of fact. "It's all gone weird and I don't like it."

"He's just trying to look out for you, Blaine, we all are."

"I know that but..." he stops, thinking back. Of all the things he can remember, two moments stand out the most. Simon and Spencer's faces, as they stood over him, and the massive crack from Kurt's punch. "He would have killed them if it wasn't for Brian."

"Ah, so he did throw a punch," Burt wonders aloud. "And that's why you don't want the cops involved."

"Throw a punch? No, if he'd done that I'd be less hesitant to speak to the police. No, he smashed Spencer's face across a wall, dad. You think this is bad?" he asks, gesturing to himself. "They will have needed urgent and significant hospital treatment. Simon was practically bleeding from every orifice, and I wouldn't be surprised if we find Spencer's teeth in the living room rug."

"He really went for it?"

"Big time."

"That's my boy," Burt says proudly. "My Kurt."

"Yeah, and I just curled up on the floor and hoped I would die quickly."

"Oh hey now, don't you start with that."

"I'm not strong," Blaine whispers sadly. "I just caved when they came in. It was so quick and all this emotion and this pain, and...and all I could do was beg them to stop." He breaks off, wiping at a few stray tears. "That's what's made it all weird. Kurt was this hero, like you see in the movies, you know? And I just collapsed under the pressure. Weak, pathetic, like I always was around them. Like I had stopped being, and like I thought I'd never be again, but I was," he says, crying harder. "I went back to exactly how I used to be. I'm twenty! I'm supposed to be a man. I live with my boyfriend who's in his thirties and...and...I act like I'm a kid."

"Enough," Burt says firmly. "Blaine, Kurt and I have said before, you're the strongest person we know. All you've put up with, the way you've bounced back time and time again. You have such a big heart, you're such a forgiving person. That isn't weak. It takes strength to forgive all you went through with your mom. As for those idiots, well, I daresay Kurt would have cowered too, if he'd been caught unawares like you were. So you begged, so what? You've got a life worth begging for, my boy. You're anything but weak. You love Kurt with every bit of you, and god knows you've given him more comfort and security than he's ever felt since he was a kid. No weak man could take on Kurt Hummel," he jokes. "But seriously. You've been strong for him, helped him through his darkest times, and waited patiently while he figured himself out. Now let him be strong for you. Lean on him, it's what partners do; uphold one another, support each other, and take that comfort for themselves when they need it. You two will get through all this together, as long as you don't let your pride get in the way."

"Sometimes I do want to be a little kid again though," Blaine admits softly. "Like I'm tired of being an adult, and I just want to hide under the covers, and let everyone else handle the responsibility."

"Oh Blaine, I'm nearly sixty two and I still feel like that," Burt tells him, settling an arm gently around his shoulders.

"Like with the cops. Kurt wants to get them involved, but I say no. I can't. I know that wasn't how I was raised, but I can't run the risk of Kurt getting charged with something, I just can't."

"Well kid, I agree with ya," Burt sighs, feeling helpless and unable to comfort his confused young son. He can see the hell he is trapped in, but he can't figure it all out for him, and he hates that. "I think we all have to agree, that even though it sucks, and it really, really does, we don't report any of this to the police. They didn't break and enter, you let them in, and the only bit of it all that has any other witnesses, is Brian coming in just as Kurt launched his attack. It's their word against yours, and given that their injuries were worse, they can try and spin it that you and Kurt launched an unprovoked attack or whatever. I would hate for all of us, especially you two, to go through the pain of a trial, only for Kurt to be convicted and not them. So no police."

"But my mom..."

"Don't worry about your mom. She's gonna live with me for a while."

"Ew."

"Not like that. Just until she can get back on her feet. I'd like her where I can keep an eye on her, and you'll only worry if she decides to live here. You've got enough going on."

"So she left him then."

"She did. And I think she's pretty determined she won't be going back. Especially not now."

"Why did she leave?"

"I don't know," Burt admits. "She says she wants to tell you that before she tells anyone else."

"Oh. Can I see her then?"

"Sure, I'll send her in. Maybe I'll force Kurt to come get coffee with me."

"Good idea." Blaine reaches out with his good arm, catching hold of Burt's hand. "I love you."

"Yeah." Burt nods, not trusting his voice. He wants to scoop Blaine up and take him away from all this, Kurt too. Far away, until none of them ever have to worry again. "I love you too," he whispers, leaning down to kiss his cheek. "Always."


	18. Chapter 18

Angie Lane enters Blaine's room quietly, having been forewarned about his appearance from both Kurt and Burt. She manages to keep her face from displaying any upset, and instead gives him a bright smile. "Hey sweetie! How are you?"

"How do you think I am?"

"Um well...yes. Not good. Oh..." She shakes her head, determined not to cry, and sits instead in the chair next to his bed. She takes his hand, but Blaine notices how different it all is to when Burt was in here not five minutes prior, wedged on the bed next to him, and holding him close. "I'm so sorry that this happened."

"I am too, but hey, if you left him, and you mean you've left him for good, then I'll take whatever."

"I'm not going back," Angie confirms. "But even so, you should never have had to go through this."

"It is what it is, I guess."

"But you're all..."

"I'm fine," Blaine says stiffly, not wanting her to know about the excruciating pain in his groin. "My collar bone will heal and the bruises will fade."

He doesn't add what they're both thinking, which is that the external injuries are the least of his worries. It will take far longer for the emotional scars to heal, and they'll never fade away completely for as long as he lives.

"I should have told you I was leaving, maybe, I don't know. It was a decision I reached in the early hours of the morning, and somehow it didn't seem like the right time to tell you. I just got in the car and drove."

"To dad."

"Yes, though I wasn't planning on that. I actually figured I'd come to you."

"I'm glad you didn't."

"Oh."

"Only because I wouldn't have wanted him to find you," Blaine clarifies. "The way they were..." He breaks off, shaking his head. "I'm glad they didn't know where you were."

"Burt says I can stay with him until I'm back on my feet. I wondered how you feel about that?"

"Whatever," he mutters sullenly. He wants to say more, like he's not entirely happy, and it's just another way in which things have gotten weird, but he also trusts Burt implicitly, and if he says it's only as friends then he believes him. "He's offering you a home, just like he did with me. You should take it."

"I need to tell you why I left."

"You don't have to."

"I do, because it involves you."

"Let me guess, Spencer's secretly gay and has been making pornographic images of me?"

"Uh...no." Angie is shocked, but she has to laugh at Blaine's audacity and sass. "That's not...uh...no."

"Kurt?"

"Spencer is not gay," she says with a smile. "Though I wonder about Simon. Anyway. That aside, he did something terrible."

"Cheated on you?"

"He found your account."

Blaine suddenly takes notice, everything in him lurching in the most unpleasant of ways, as he realizes what's coming. "My savings account? But..."

"He emptied it," Angie interrupts quietly. "He searched through all my stuff until he found the login and password, and he cleaned it out."

"Seven thousand dollars," Blaine whispers, as his eyes fill with tears. "He stole my baby's money?"

"I'll repay it, Blaine, I swear. As soon as I'm set with a job and a place of my own, I'll keep saving until I have all of it back again and then some."

"No, no," Blaine says, patting her hand distractedly. "You won't. It's not your fault."

"It is," Angie cries, and then breaks down completely. "It is. All of it. Everything you've gone through is all my fault, and I hate myself for it."

"Just..." What can he say? Blaine sits there, searching for the right words. He genuinely doesn't think that Spencer stealing the money is her fault in any way. She did exactly what Blaine asked her to do in opening the account and paying into it, and he's no fool. He knows Spencer, and he knows he would have been constantly monitoring her every move, especially since she had gotten closer to her son recently. He would have had his suspicions about where she went on New Years, the phone calls she kept taking early in the morning...all of it. Nothing of Angie's would have been private, sacred, or hers, none of it. Maybe Blaine should have thought that through, but he had wanted to show his trust and faith in her, and he knew what it had meant to her to be able to open that account for him, to be trusted with his future in that way.

No, it wasn't her fault that she was married to a mercenary monster, but the rest of it? Actually marrying him in the first place? Making Blaine live with endless torment and bullying in his own home? Watching as he moved in with a neighbor just so he could feel safe and wanted? Turning a blind eye to everything, just so she could convince herself that her life was a happy one? Yes. All her fault, every last bit of it.

Blaine can't harbor regret and bitterness though, because he has the gift of Kurt and another father in his life, and no matter what, he will be eternally grateful for both of those treasures. He is also glad that his mom is coming back to him, even if it can never be as it was before. He can't and won't live his life dragged down by the enormity and severity of her actions. He has chosen to ignore that part of his life completely, to the point that there is a jump in his memories. He's kept a few moments, precious time with his dad as he was dying, the first time meeting Burt, his and Kurt's first kiss, and so on, but he has largely chosen to ignore the fact that he even existed from the ages of fifteen to eighteen, because if he stops and thinks about it, Blaine thinks he may not survive.

"Just leave it," he hears himself saying. "I told you that was all over, and I don't want to dwell on it. The fact that he would clean all that money out? Well that just proves the type of guy he is. You won't pay it back though. This was not your fault and you won't blame yourself for it. The only way you can make all this better, is by becoming the bigger and better person here. Don't let the bastard grind you down, mom, please."

"But..."

"Please."

"How can you be so forgiving?"

"Oh I don't think I'll ever forgive him," Blaine says calmly. "But he hasn't taken Kurt. As long as I have him, then I'll be okay. I can get a job, maybe, and save that way. Whatever, we'll have our happy ever after, with or without that money. That's not important."

"Blaine...you...I don't deserve you, I just don't."

"Like I said, leave it be."

"Will you tell Kurt?"

"I don't know," Blaine sighs. "I guess I'll have to, and dad. They'll wonder why I'm getting a job when I haven't before."

"Even more reason for Kurt to hate me."

"Kurt doesn't hate you," Blaine snaps angrily, annoyed at the accusation. "Far from it. In fact, he's been instrumental in keeping this relationship going, so you should thank him, if anything."

"Okay, sorry."

"Don't piss me off."

"No."

"I don't get angry very often, but right now I'm coming close to it with all that's going on, so please don't say stuff that's going to tip me over the edge."

"I'm sorry," Angie says sincerely. "Look, I don't know what Burt's plans are. I guess we'll stay a few days here at least, but I was thinking..."

She is interrupted by the arrival of the doctor, who gives Blaine a cheery wave and reads over his chart. Whatever it was Angie was going to say is forgotten, as she watches the doctor and then speaks. "How's my boy doing?"

"Oh, Mrs Anderson?"

"Um, well...yes," she says with a small smile, deciding that she will change her name back as soon as she can. "Yes."

"Well, I actually need to talk to Blaine about his injuries, and I also need to examine him."

"But how is he doing?"

"He's doing okay," the doctor says kindly. "But like I said, I need to talk with Blaine."

"Why? Is something wrong?"

"Mrs Anderson, why don't you step outside and wait to talk to your son after I've finished?" the doctor suggests, then looks directly at Blaine. "Is your partner here? You might like him to listen in."

Grateful to have a doctor who really understands, Blaine smiles. "He went to get coffee with dad. He'll...oh," he grins even brighter when Kurt suddenly enters the room. "He's here."

"I'm here," Kurt says, and the way he smiles at Blaine makes his heart lurch with happiness.

"Good, good." The doctor politely escorts Angie to the door, gives a nod to Burt, and then promptly closes it in their faces, before turning to the couple. "Sorry. I remember when I was twenty. Parents still think you're a child, but I'm guessing since you two live together, this is a serious relationship?"

"Yes," they chorus in time with each other, and Kurt settles in the chair next to Blaine and holds his hand.

"Okay. Blaine, tell me how you're feeling."

"Not too bad."

"Blaine," Kurt hisses. "Tell him."

"A bit sore," Blaine offers weakly.

"Where exactly?"

"There," Blaine whispers, looking down at his groin.

"There is extensive bruising," the doctor notes, as he pulls all the blinds in the room. "Can I take a look?"

"If you must."

Kurt knows it's serious when Blaine can't hold back his cry as the doctor gently touches the top of his groin. He grips Kurt's hand tightly and turns white, but still he can't hold back the tears of pain which roll unhappily down his cheeks. Kurt leans over slightly to look when Blaine's eyes are screwed shut, and it's all he can do not to cry as well. All of Blaine's groin, and the tops of his thighs, are red or livid purple with bruising. Not only that, but it is all swollen too, making Blaine's body look horribly disfigured.

"You didn't tell me it was that bad," Kurt says sadly, stroking Blaine's hair back from his forehead. "You must be in agony."

"I don't want to look," Blaine admits. "I just know it feels awful all the time, and when I move I get a stabbing pain."

Eventually, the doctor straightens up and moves the lamp away, then turns to face them. "I'd like to get an ultrasound of the area," he says gently. "I have a feeling we might be dealing with a testicular fracture, and if that's the case, you may need surgery."

Blaine sits motionless, while Kurt clears his throat in surprise. "What? How can you break your balls? Really? That's a thing?"

"Not the actual testicle, but the lining, and yes, it's a thing," the doctor smiles. "It's not ruptured, and I don't think it's too bad, but there is extensive bruising and trauma, and I'm almost positive that a large cause of the pain, aside from that, is due to internal damage to the testicles."

"He broke me," Blaine whispers sadly, and ignoring the doctor in the room, Kurt climbs onto the bed and takes him in his arms.

"No one broke you. You're still my Blaine."

"It will heal," the doctor says benignly. "I know it's incredibly painful, but it will get better. It will be a while before you can resume any kind of sexual activity though."

"I can't even think about that right now," Blaine admits, but Kurt just holds him tighter.

"One other thing," the doctor tells them. "I don't know if this has ever been something you've talked about, but with any kind of injury to the testicular area, there is a very great risk that it could render you infertile. Now I know not all gay men wish to have children biologically, but even so, we will arrange a fertility test for you in around four months time, just to check. That way, you know where you are, at least."

"I can't have kids?"

Blaine sits numb, as everything around him seems to spiral out of control. He had taken it as a given that he and Kurt would have at least one biological child each, even though their plans were by no means set in stone. It was what he had been saving for after all. Babies with Kurt was the thing he was most excited for about their future together, and now...not only were all his savings gone, but all hope and possibility for him to biologically produce a child, too.

"I didn't say that," the doctor tells him calmly. "But as I said, there is a risk."

"How much?"

"I can't give you a percentage, Blaine. I'd say given the extent of your injuries, that the kick and subsequent stamp to that area was an impact roughly on a par with getting a baseball to the groin when you're not wearing a cup."

Blaine gives a tight nod, swallows everything down, and draws back his shoulders. "So, when can I go home?"

Kurt pulls back, giving him a certain look, which Blaine chooses to ignore. "Blaine?"

"Not now, Kurt. Doc?"

"We'll see," the doctor smiles. "Tuesday, maybe. If you do need an op it will only be small."

"Fine."

"In the meantime, I'll send someone to take care of your pain relief. There's no need for you to be suffering unnecessarily."

"It's fine."

"It's not fine," Kurt says, knowing Blaine will be pissed that he's speaking for him, but not caring anyway. "He's in a lot of pain, and he said it's hard to pee."

"It will be for a while," the doctor informs them, as he scribbles something down on Blaine's chart. "Just take all the pain relief we can offer, okay?"

"I don't want to be all dazed and confused," Blaine says. "I want to be at home, on a date with my boyfriend or...or studying. You know, I have tests coming up, and..."

"And all of that can wait," the doctor interrupts. "Just concentrate on getting better and the rest will follow."

Blaine huffs, wriggling out of Kurt's embrace and lying down on the bed. "Fine. I'm tired now."

"Then I shall leave you be," the doctor says, knowing full well Blaine is trying to deal with the news. "I'll be back later."

The door closes, and Kurt leans down, kissing Blaine's cheek. "You wanna talk?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Fine."

He slides off the bed and walks over to the door, gripping the handle. "I'll take dad and Angie home and get them settled. I'll be back later."

Blaine hears the soft click of the door closing behind him, but he doesn't turn his head. He doesn't say what he wants to say, because he's not even sure how he would go about saying it anyway. He only knows that right now he feels as if everything is shattered. As if he's suddenly been moved to some kind of parallel universe, where everything is the same but different, and he doesn't like it one bit.

He doesn't cry, just stares at the opposite wall, and tries to comprehend it all. At some point he does drift off, only waking again when his door opens and Burt and Kurt enter the room.

"If he's told you..." he starts, but Burt shakes his head and comes to sit in the chair next to him, while Kurt sits on the end of the bed.

"No one said anything. Not him, not the doc, not the nurse."

"What nurse?"

"The one who hooked you up to that," Burt says with a nod. Blaine looks up and sees his left arm is now connected to a third bottle of medication.

"Is that why my head feels all funny?"

Burt gives a nod. "Possibly. Or maybe you're upset about something and would feel better if you talked it through."

"Nothing to talk through," Blaine says with a shrug.

Kurt sighs, rolling his eyes. "Blaine, please."

"Fine. I might need surgery and I probably can't have kids."

"What? Why?"

"Because Simon thinks it's funny, or smart, to always try and hurt me there. He's done it before, and this time he kicked me then stamped on me, that's why."

"Blaine, son, I'm..." Burt starts, but Blaine is quick to cut him off.

"It is what it is. Not much I can do about it. They'll test me in four months."

"You know," Burt tries. "There's more than one way to have a baby. I mean, Kurt...or you could adopt. It's not..."

"It's not what? Everything? Only it is, to me. Kurt and I...we hadn't really talked too much about it, we just knew we wanted it to happen." Blaine looks at Burt as he talks, grateful that Kurt is on the other side, because he thinks it will be easier this way. "I've been saving money. Kurt didn't know, but my mom opened an account for me. I'm one of those stupid romantic saps, and I have these visions of us, in the future together, and one of them was Kurt coming to me and saying he wanted a baby. And you know, if we wanted IVF, even if we wanted to adopt, it'd cost money, you know? Gay couples, well it's not an easy process, but in my head, in this stupid, pathetic vision I had, I could say to Kurt, 'here, I've been saving for this. I have the money ready, let's do it', because I know he's not the most patient of people, and he wouldn't want to be waiting two years while we saved every dime we could. I had seven thousand dollars," he says quietly, as his eyes fill with tears. He doesn't look at Kurt though, just at Burt, who covers his hand with his own. "Seven thousand and...well, Spencer took it. He found out about the account, I don't know if he realized it was mine, or if he didn't want mom to have her own money, but...he took it. All of it. So now I have nothing, you see? No money to offer Kurt to make our dream come true, no stupid picture in my head of his face lighting up with joy when I tell him it can happen right away, and not even any way of...helping in the process, as it were. They've taken it all from me, everything."

A silence fills the room. Blaine looks down at the blanket covering him, while Burt doesn't even try and blink back his tears. His heart is breaking for both of his sons right now, and Kurt, poor Kurt just stays motionless, with an endless cascade of tears.

"You have me," he whispers. "He can't take me away from you."

"Same," Burt chokes out. "We'll always be here."

"Kurt?"

"Yes?" He looks up, grateful to see Blaine reaching his left arm out to him, and he walks around the bed until he can lie next to him once more, ducking under the line going into the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry for earlier. I do want to talk about it, I know we have to, I just...I'm trying to work it all out in my head, to understand that what I had hoped for isn't going to happen, and I'm not finding that very easy. I do love you though, and I hope that even if I can't have kids, you'll still..."

"Don't even finish that sentence!" Kurt cries, then covers Blaine's mouth with his own, not caring that Burt is right there. "I love you too, you fool, and I'm not in this just to get a baby, am I? I mean yes, I want a family with you in some way, but I'm not broody or longing for it to happen. I just...I just want you in my life. Forever. I am in awe that you would save money for something as special as that, that you could be so organized and think so far ahead, that you love me enough to want to surprise me in ten years time. We'll do this. We'll save money together, and then one day, when we're ready, we'll have a child, in whatever way we choose. It doesn't matter if biologically it's yours, mine or someone else's, what matters is that it will be our baby to love and cherish, and that we'll raise a family together, okay? You and me, together."

Blaine nods, not trusting his voice, so he leans in and kisses just behind Kurt's ear instead, letting his breath tickle there. "Can I tell you I hate you?"

Kurt nods, laughing through his tears. "You absolutely can. I hate you too. With a passion."

"You two will be okay," Burt declares, standing and kissing both of them on the forehead.

"Wait a minute," Kurt says. "Where are you going?"

"Your boy's waiting to kiss you," Burt says, with a nod in Blaine's direction, who looks suitably embarrassed. "I ain't sticking around for that. I'm gonna go see where Angie's got to with those coffees."

"Are you...?" Kurt starts, when the door closes, but Blaine's hand moves to the back of his neck, as he slides down the pillows, pulling Kurt with him.

"Shh."

"But..."

"Let me."

He brings his lips to Kurt's, softly at first, and then with slightly more pressure when he feels Kurt's hand coming up to caress his jaw. "I love you, Kurt," he breathes, before going back in for more.

It's awkward, with Blaine's injured arm across his chest, and his bruising meaning he can't turn fully onto his side, and neither can Kurt roll on top of him like he usually would, but they're kissing. They're kissing with a deep rooted passion and love for one another, and Kurt practically melts in Blaine's embrace when he feels his tongue against his own, whimpering shamelessly into his mouth and moving his hand into Blaine's hair.

"Oh my god," he gasps, pulling back to catch his breath. He laughs in disbelief. "We can't. We have to stop, cause I know what making out does to you, and...well..."

"Feels good though, doesn't it?"

Kurt looks at Blaine, his good eye is shining and sparkling, and he's smiling, properly smiling, for the first time since coming to the hospital.

"Fuck yes. Kiss me again," Kurt demands, and Blaine laughs darkly.

"You said..."

"Meh, I'm an idiot," Kurt grins. "Just kiss me already."

Blaine obliges, this time even bolder than before, kissing with an intense desire which leaves Kurt's head spinning when they eventually part. "Okay, someone's getting too eager," Kurt smiles, and Blaine's head falls back on the pillow with a thump. "Seriously," Kurt laughs, when he closes his eyes and pouts. "Imagine the pain if you start to get turned on."

"I'm already turned on," Blaine protests.

"Then we're definitely stopping."

"Ugh. Fine."

Kurt does make it better though, with a trail of kisses down the unmarked side of his face and neck, before placing one to the hollow of his throat. "By the way, we owe Brian dinner. At least."

"For bringing us here? Sure."

"Not just that. He came back last night with clothes for me, and when I took dad and Angie back earlier, I had warned them about the state of the apartment; only when I unlocked the door, it's perfect. Nothing is out of place, and the living room walls have all been painted too."

"What?" Blaine asks, his eyes wide. "But it was...trashed. It was awful. And the blood..."

"Exactly. Brian wasn't home, probably with Loic, but it's my guess he must have stayed up most of the night to do it. The paint was totally dry."

"We have good people in our lives," Blaine muses. "We're lucky."

"Yeah, we really are. Oh, and before I forget, Santana is in Jersey for her Aunt's birthday, but she said to tell you that momma loves her baby, and she will be here tomorrow to sing you a lullaby."

"Oh god."

"I wish I was joking."

"She's unreal," Blaine laughs, then leans back in to kiss at Kurt's lips. "Kiss me again, my beautiful boyfriend."

"Blaine!"

"I'm sure the doctor prescribed kisses from Kurt as the best medicine of all."

"He did not!"

"I'm really pretty."

"Shut up."

"And totally adorable," Blaine grins, knowing Kurt will break at any second.

"You're an idiot."

"I'm your puppy."

"I hate you."

"You love me."

"Ah, fuck it," Kurt laughs, and he hovers over Blaine as best he can, his lips lingering tantalisingly close, just before he closes the gap. "I do."


	19. Chapter 19

Blaine does need surgery, but to everyone's relief it is a simple operation, and by Wednesday he is allowed to go home. If Burt Hummel had been able to pick him up and put him in a stroller, he would have, if the way he escorts him slowly down the corridor is anything to go by.

"Gently now, careful," he says, every time Blaine takes a step, holding tightly to Kurt's arm.

"I'm not gonna break! I know how to walk."

"I know, but I don't want you to cause any damage...you know..."

"I won't," Blaine says quietly, turning red. He doesn't tell Burt that he is tightly contained in a jock strap, which he is to wear morning and night for six weeks. He only told Kurt because they share the laundry, and he knew he would wonder about his abrupt change in underwear habit.

The pain is slightly better now anyway; the doctor said this was because all the bruising was out now, and all it had to do was heal. His arm aches if he moves suddenly, but generally it's bearable. The only thing he hasn't done is look in a mirror. He had trusted Kurt to dress him and fix his hair, though he was looking forward to getting home where he could finally take a good look at his face.

"You okay there?" Burt asks, when they reach the elevators.

"I'm fine," Blaine says with a bright smile. "Happy to be going home."

He looks it too, greeting Brian warmly when they get downstairs, and thanking him for coming to drive them home. He hasn't spoken again of the news the doctor imparted, or about the fact that all his savings had been cruelly stolen.

Santana had visited, and when Kurt had arrived it was to see Blaine sitting up in bed laughing at something she had said. His happy mood had stayed too; when Brian had come to visit, and then Angie and Burt, all anyone had gotten was happy and upbeat Blaine in his hospital bed, who glossed over his pain, saying the doctors were giving him good stuff, and that he'd be fit and well in no time.

Angie had tried a few times to talk with him about the money, but he kept using the same line, which was that he was just pleased she had left him, and that was good enough. Burt had tried to talk with him about his injury, but again, all Blaine would say was that it was fine, he and Kurt had talked things through, and there was really no need to worry.

For someone who wanted to be home so badly, he is oddly detached when Kurt opens the door to the apartment, sitting as best he can on the couch, and not really looking around at all, just staring ahead at the spot on the wall which last time he had looked, had been covered with a huge spray of blood.

"Blaine, sweetie!" Angie coos, coming out of the kitchen. "I'm so glad you're home. Now, your freezer is full, I've cleaned everywhere, and I've made muffins and cookies too."

"Yep. She's been busy," Kurt mutters tightly as he sits next to him on the couch, and Blaine has to hide his smile. He knows just how much it will have pained Kurt to have Angie bustling around the apartment these last few days, and he also knows that whenever bad things happen it's his mom's automatic reaction to do anything she can to try and feel useful. He thinks Burt might really enjoy having her as a house guest.

"Anyone for tea? Angie asks brightly. "Coffee? Brian, you'll stay, won't you?"

"Oh, well, only if that's okay," Brian says, glancing at Blaine. "You must be tired, and..."

"It's fine," Blaine smiles. "Stay, have coffee with us, please."

After an hour Brian politely excuses himself, but even though Angie and Burt are moving to a hotel today, she insists on staying and making lunch for everyone, and Burt seems reluctant to move from right by Blaine's side. Instead he keeps himself busy drawing up a schedule for his medication.

"Now Kurt, don't lose this," he says, as he hands it over. "It's very important that Blaine gets his pain meds at the right time, and for goodness sake, don't mix them up. Double check the labels each time."

"Sure," Kurt says with a nod, and again, Blaine knows how much it's killing him not to launch into a tirade about how he is capable of dishing out a few pills every four hours.

"Blaine, did you want a bath?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did you want to take a bath?" Burt repeats.

"I'm good."

"The warm water might help, and I don't want Kurt trying to get you in and out on his own."

"You know what? I think I'll manage," Blaine says politely, then glances at the clock on the wall. "You should get going, probably. I'm sure you can check in now."

"Yeah, okay. We'll be back in an hour or so."

"Back?" Blaine asks in surprise. "You don't need to come back, really."

"We need to see you're okay," Angie chimes in. "And to make sure you both eat."

"We'll eat," Blaine says quietly, yet with a firmness to his voice that tells Kurt neither parent will be returning. "I need to sleep, and Kurt needs to make some calls to work, then we can eat before I sleep some more. Really, go enjoy the city or something. Kurt can call you later to give you an update if you want, and then you can come over tomorrow."

"But..."

"Blaine's right," Kurt declares, and he rises from his seat, gathers all the empty mugs, and then makes a great show of fetching pillows and blankets and helping Blaine to lie down on the couch. "He needs to rest."

"If you're sure," Burt shrugs, and though he's clearly not happy about it, and neither is Angie, they really have no choice when Kurt helps them with their bags, and hails a cab for them, sending them off with a bright wave.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he murmurs, when he can finally close the apartment door. Walking into the living room, he notes that Blaine is sitting upright once more, watching him.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Come here."

Kurt obliges, happy to settle back on the couch with Blaine's arm around him, and happier still with the warm kiss that is placed into his hair.

"How are you?"

"What?"

"How are you?" Blaine repeats. "All anyone keeps asking is how I'm doing, but we both went through this, and for you it's probably worse, having to keep looking at me and running around everywhere...you haven't stopped, and I just wanted to know how you are."

"I wouldn't say it's worse for me," Kurt says quietly. "Just...I don't know really. I guess I'm like you."

"How do you mean?"

"Pretending everything is okay, that I'm fine. When really, all I wanna do is cry."

"Same," Blaine admits, and when he looks at Kurt again, his eyes are swimming with tears. "I feel like crap," he tells him honestly. "I hurt all over, I have to wear this stupid dumb jock strap, I have to wait four months to know the outcome, I've lost all my money, and you know what? I'm totally grateful and happy that you're here and all that, but I feel like everything else is shitty."

"Yes," Kurt sighs, giving in and letting his tears fall. "All of that. I'm scared too," he whispers, and it doesn't matter that he's crying, or that Blaine is too. He didn't realize until now just how much he needed to be with Blaine like this, to have the opportunity for them both to talk openly and honestly. "I'm scared the police will come," he carries on, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Or worse, that they'll come back; for me or you. I'm worried about you, what we'll do if you're infertile. I mean, we'll get past it and still have a family I know, but the psychological effects... I'm scared of you being scared, of not wanting to tell me that you don't want to be left alone, or of you suffering bad dreams and keeping them to yourself. I need you to tell me."

"I will," Blaine nods. "I really will."

"I'm pissed off too," Kurt cries, on a roll now, and showing no signs of stopping. "Like you, I feel like it's all shitty. I'm pissed off that they did this to you, and that they're gonna get away with it. If there was any possible way that we could..."

"No."

Blaine is so sure and firm that Kurt knows he isn't going to change his mind, so he shuts up and gives a nod. "I know. I just...your money," he says with a sob. "Do you know that is the most romantic thing I have ever heard? You, saving like that. It's...you have so much faith in us to be able to make it, that you were saving for something that could be ten years down the line, and those bastards stole it. They stole all your money, and..."

"I still have that faith though, don't you?"

"I do," Kurt agrees. "Probably now more than ever. I don't think, or hope. I know we'll make it. I know we will."

"If you don't accidentally overdose me with the wrong drugs."

"Don't get me started on that," Kurt snaps, while Blaine laughs through his tears. "I love dad to death, and you know, I'm fond of your mom too, but my god, they think I'm twelve."

"Well if you're twelve, that makes me one," Blaine points out. "You can understand their concern."

"Ha! Well, yes. Seriously though, they don't trust me to take care of you."

"Oh I think they do, it's just that they want to do it too, and it's a little insufferable."

"Extremely. Tell me how you are anyway," he says, nuzzling in under Blaine's neck. "God I've missed you."

"You've been at the hospital the whole time."

"I know but I've missed this, you know? Us being us?"

"I know what you mean, and I feel the same," Blaine agrees. "In fact, all of what you said I agree with, that's how I feel. Scared, worried, pissed off. Angry, even. I'm as annoyed as you are that we can't go to the police, because I'd love to drag their asses through court, but you know what? As gross and shocking as it was, there was something rather satisfactory about you smashing Spencer's face in like that. I felt like one of those gangster molls, you know?"

"Oh stop it," Kurt laughs, before blowing his nose.

"I mean it! If I'd been in a better state myself, I'd probably have taken you right there and then."

"You would not. You would have panicked like hell and started cleaning the walls," Kurt grins, resting their foreheads together.

"You have a point."

Kurt gives a sad smile, and gently brushes a tear from Blaine's cheek. "Is it weird that I feel better? Even if we are sitting here crying?"

"Who cares if it's weird? I feel better too. I like this, being home, being with you."

"Same. Hey, you wanna have a movie marathon in bed? Pizza and beer?"

"Hmm, yes, but no beer," Blaine says regretfully. "Too many pills."

"That could be really fun."

"It really wouldn't," Blaine laughs. "You'd be the one clearing up my puke."

"True. Pizza and cherry coke then," Kurt says, helping Blaine to his feet. "And lots and lots of making out. Oh. Only if that's...if it's not gonna...I mean,"

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up," Blaine says, taking Kurt by the hand and leading him to the bedroom. "Making out is definitely on my list. There'd be a whole lot more too, if I could."

"Soon."

"Six weeks," Blaine whines. "Six long weeks of waking up next to you, going to sleep beside you, watching you take a shower..."

"Hey! Stalker."

Blaine stops him, pinning him against the bedroom door. "When those six weeks are up, we're not making any other plans for at least a month," he declares, before claiming his mouth in a deep kiss, which is exactly what they've both been longing for.

* * *

><p>The next week is tough, and the pair come to rely on one another and their long chats that run late into the night, where they discuss their feelings, voice their fears, and vent about the oppressive presence of their parents.<p>

Burt seems reluctant to leave New York at all, but after a week he announces that he has to return to Ohio, and says he will be taking Angie with him.

It's all Blaine can do not to turn around and give Kurt a fist bump right there and then. It's not that he doesn't love them, because he does, so much, it's just that they're determined to keep him wrapped in bubble wrap until the end of time, it seems.

His mom had practically fainted when he said he'd like to take a walk outside, as if this was a completely alien suggestion. She had actually been close to calling the doctor, and asking if this was wise, before Kurt manhandled him into a pair of shoes, threw a jacket over his shoulders, and loudly proclaimed that he was stepping out with Blaine for some air.

As it was, they were only gone for fifteen minutes before Blaine got tired from the stabbing pain in his groin, so they limped back home, stopping to make out a little in the doorway, of course.

The next day she had found him in the kitchen, and tried to give him fifty dollars to start off his savings again, but he was having none of it, and she gave up when he told her he'd stop speaking to her if she tried to give him money that he knew she didn't have.

In fact, the kitchen seems to be the place for people to trap Blaine when they want to talk to him, because the next day it is Burt who trails him in there, and with his frame blocking the doorway, there's no hope of escape.

"So, you and Kurt..."

"Uh-Huh."

"Are you being safe?"

"Excuse me?"

"With your injury," Burt mumbles, and it's obvious that he's finding this awkward, and yet he still feels like it must be said. "It can't be comfortable, and I just...I don't want you making problems for yourself just because you're too eager."

"Oh my god, you're asking if we're having sex," Blaine moans, mortified.

"Well..."

"Please don't. FYI? No we are not, and we won't be for quite some time."

"Oh that's good," Burt nods, the relief evident in his voice. "Good, yes. Sorry then...for the question. I just wanted to check."

"Well you've checked," Blaine snaps, then looks at his dad standing there in the kitchen, looking awkward and embarrassed, and his heart gives a lurch. He's only asking out of concern, Blaine reminds himself, and it's quite apparent that he wouldn't say anything unless he thought it totally necessary. It's also painfully obvious that Burt is walking on eggshells, worried about doing or saying something to upset him, and Blaine decides to open up a little more.

"I wanted to ask you something actually," he says, and Burt looks up almost hopefully.

"Oh?"

"But you cannot breathe a word. This is me trusting you with my whole life."

"Of course."

"Has Kurt ever said anything to you about marriage?"

Burt's eyes go wide and he frantically scans the kitchen as if it might hold the answer. "Uh..."

"As in...when? I mean, I know we both say we want to get married, but I just wondered if he'd ever mentioned when he thought that might be."

"Uh...he...he wants to marry you, yes."

"I know that but..." Blaine pauses, and tugs Burt closer so he can whisper. "I've been thinking more and more about asking him, you know? Only I don't want to ask him, and then I'm expecting to get married when I graduate, but he wants to do it right away. I mean, what if he doesn't want a long engagement? What if he does want a long engagement and then I'm ready to walk down the aisle after six months? What if he wants a big elaborate wedding that I just can't afford? Should I wait and save up some money for that first? Or should I just ask, you know, get it out there?"

"Uh..."

"And if I do ask, do I have your permission?"

"Oh you two definitely have my permission," Burt says heartedly, happy that there's a question he can answer. "And trust me, I have saved for Kurt's wedding since he was three. There's enough money for when you do decide to get hitched."

"It's gonna be expensive. Kurt won't settle for anything cheap."

"I know that. What are you, new?"

Blaine laughs, and Burt ruffles his hair, feeling so much better about things between them already. "Look sunshine, you want my advice? I'd wait on it for a while. Let all this blow over, let both of you properly heal, and then revisit the idea," he says, hoping and praying that's the right answer. He hasn't even thought to check in with Kurt about his plans regarding his own proposal.

"Yeah, you might be right," Blaine muses. "Hmm. Think about it again in the summer, maybe."

"Exactly. There's no rush," Burt reassures him. "I know you love him, and you wanna show him you're grateful for all his support, but there's a million and one ways you can do that without having to propose. You know it's something you both want to happen."

Blaine grins, and hugs Burt tight. "Thank you," he whispers happily, before Kurt's yell comes from the living room, telling them to grab him a soda while they're in there.

* * *

><p>It's the night before they leave that Angie and Burt spring it on them. Later, Kurt would tell Blaine that they both should have seen it coming, but they didn't, and so it's quite the shock.<p>

"Blaine?" Angie asks after dinner, when she has finally stopped cleaning the already clean kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"Um Burt and I were wondering..."

"Actually, this was her idea," Burt chimes in.

"Yes, but you agree, don't you?"

"I do, but I don't think they will."

"We talked about this," Angie says in a low voice, even though Blaine and Kurt can hear perfectly well. "You said to ask."

"I said to ask, but I also said not to get upset when they say no."

"If you're dating, or want to date, the answer is no," Blaine snaps, but Burt reaches out and gives a smack to the back of his head.

"Hey! I've told you, there's none of that."

"He's too old for me anyway," Angie smiles smugly. "And too grumpy."

"Oh. Well then what is it?"

"We would like you to come back to Ohio with us, and live at home until finals start."

Kurt says nothing, which is unusual, and instead it is Blaine who sits up as sharply as he can. "What? Are you insane? No!"

"Hear me out..."

"No!" Blaine shrieks. "I will not hear you out! I live with Kurt, mom."

"I know that, but he has to work. If you were in Lima, then Burt and I could..."

"Could what? Could annoy me all day long? Could ask me six hundred times a day if I'm in pain? Could jump everytime I so much as moved a muscle?"

"Hey!" Burt objects, loudly and firmly. "Now you hear me out, young man. I told Angie you'd say no, because you're an adult and you have your own life with Kurt. I get that, but she's only trying to look out for her kid, and you can't blame her for that. How many times do you hear me telling Kurt he's still my baby, huh? Now you'll apologize, please, I won't have you speaking to your mom like that."

And Blaine, big, twenty year old, adult Blaine, is clearly never too old for being reprimanded by Burt, because he hangs his head and mutters a sullen "sorry" to Angie, which makes Burt have to hide his smile. "I just...I appreciate all you've done, really, we both do, but I'm not leaving Kurt here while I fly home with you, I'm just not. That'd be what...five weeks apart? Plus, it might be spring break right now, but I need to get back to class next week, I can't just go missing."

"I could talk to your professors," Angie says quietly. "You're so smart. I'm sure they'd..."

"Mom." Blaine tries as hard as he can to remain calm, even sliding along the couch to be closer to her. "I don't think you're listening to all that I'm saying. Dad's right, I'm an adult. If I need time away from class, then I'll talk to my professors. I don't need you to do it for me. I'm not coming home," he says firmly. "I'll come back for a weekend, maybe, with Kurt, but...we both need each other right now. It wouldn't be fair for me to leave Kurt here. I know you want me to heal, but Kurt needs to heal too. We can help each other do that, but we can't if I'm in Lima."

* * *

><p>"Did I do the right thing?" he asks Kurt fearfully later that night. He's in bed already, wearing pajamas, because Kurt has barred him from sleeping with a bare chest on the grounds of it making him too horny.<p>

"Yes," Kurt answers, muffled as he rummages in the drawer for a t-shirt. "I think..." he pauses, pulling the t-shirt over his head and flipping out the main light. "I think you know that anyway."

"I do, but you were very quiet throughout it all."

"Because sometimes you need to fight your own battles," Kurt says evenly, then he leans over Blaine and turns out the lamp. "And I don't want anyone thinking you're not going back because I said something to convince you."

"Do we really have to sleep like this?"

"Four weeks and three days left."

"Ugh."

"Shut up, you love pajamas."

"I do, but I miss your hands on my chest."

"Hmm, well, it's for my own sanity," Kurt laughs, though he still cuddles in, his head resting in the crook of Blaine's neck. "I was proud that you stood your ground tonight," he tells him, before giving a yawn. "I love you."

"Love you too," Blaine murmurs, already on the verge of sleep.

It doesn't last for long though, as he wakes up in the early hours with a jolt, hissing in pain as he sits upright and shakes Kurt awake.

"Kurt, Kurt, wake up. Kurt!"

"Huh?" Kurt sits, rubbing at his eyes, which sting from being forced open. "Huh? What? What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

"You missed your promotion."

"What?"

"Your promotion," Blaine repeats. "At work. I just realized. You were supposed to give that presentation like...over a week ago."

"Oh. Well...yeah."

"Kurt!" Blaine cries sadly. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Um...well, you had your surgery that day, so I wanted to be there when you came out of it."

Blaine reaches out in the darkness, his thumb rubbing gently over Kurt's cheek. "But your job."

"Blaine, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you and I are good, and that we're together. I'd be a barista again, as long as it meant you were still mine."

"That's not fair," Blaine sighs. "You've given so much to me, all this time...you've been amazing, and I've given you nothing in return. Now I realize you've missed out on achieving your dream, just because...because some bastards beat me up."

"Listen to me," Kurt urges, "before I pass out again. "You have given me so much, Blaine. For eighteen months, I was unbearable to you. You not only waited for me and kept faith that I'd come around, but you also supported me, and encouraged me to change and become a better person. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be anywhere near Marie Claire to begin with, I'd still be working in the coffee house, or waiting tables, trying to keep afloat. I have a job that I love, I'm clearing my debts, I live with the love of my life, and I'm in a much better place in every single aspect of my life thanks to you and your belief in me. So I missed one promotion, so what? There will be others, but there will never be another you."

Blaine wrinkles his nose. "That's cheesy."

"I don't care."

"I feel sad."

"Please don't," Kurt says, holding his hand tightly. "I haven't said anything, because it's fine, really."

"We missed our date too."

"Ah well, to be honest, I'm more upset about that than anything," Kurt sighs. "But as soon as you're able, we'll go out, I promise."

"Dinner and the theatre," Blaine smiles. "On me."

"Uh-uh," Kurt grins, leaning forward and kissing his cheek. "That date was mine, and I intend to follow through with the plan I originally had, which is to take you out for the day, so shut up with your dinner and theatre plans, Mr. Anderson."

He settles down again, happy when Blaine slides down next to him, and rests his head on his shoulder.

"Actually, maybe don't shut up about those plans altogether, because I really like being taken out, especially if it's to the theatre." Kurt then says, having thought over his words. "I really like Broadway," he hints. "Just...you know...let me get my date in first, then we can do yours."

Blaine laughs, looking up at Kurt's profile. "Don't ever change," he says softly. "You're completely crazy, yet totally perfect, and I promise to take you to the theatre as soon as I can."

"Broadway?"

"Where else?"

"The best seats in the house?"

"Naturally."

"And can we have dinner at that Thai place we went to on your Birthday? I liked that, and it was really expensive."

"Oh Kurt," Blaine sighs, before he laughs again. "Of course we can."


	20. Chapter 20

Blaine returns to class, only telling Brandon, his former roommate, and two others, about what had happened. There are questions of course, not least because bruising still remains on his face, but Blaine tells everyone he collided with a door. Whether they buy it or not is none of his concern.

It's difficult, not having the use of his right arm, but that is healing, and for now he records his classes instead of taking notes, and his professors are fine with that.

His groin is more or less fine after three weeks, it just aches if he walks too far or for too long. Even so, one day after class he takes himself to the offices of Marie Claire, and asks to meet with Kate Walsh, head of runway.

He knows Kurt isn't there, he's across town working on a shoot in an old warehouse, which was 'stupidly freezing for april' according to the text he had gotten, and so he had decided to take his chance. He's shown in right away when he says why he's there, and Kate gives him a warm welcome and invites him to take a seat.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Um...yes, thank you," he says politely, realizing that she knows. Of course she knows. Kurt took nearly two weeks off from work. "Thank you for being gracious with Kurt's absence," he adds, and Kate smiles at this overly polite young man.

"It was nothing. Kurt means a lot to me, and it's important that he could spend time with you when you needed him. I'm just happy to see you're back on your feet. Kurt said you needed surgery?"

"M-minor surgery," he coughs, turning scarlet. "It was minor."

"I see."

"So uh...my timing was unfortunate," Blaine continues, looking fraught with nerves. "Because Kurt missed out on giving his pitch, and...and the promotion."

"He did, yes, but I wasn't expecting him to show after all of that happened. I mean, it was right after, wasn't it? You were still in the hospital."

"Yeah. Yes. You see, um...Kurt...well he really wanted a shot at that promotion. I feel bad that he missed out."

"Oh? That's strange, because he hasn't said a single word about it, other than to apologize for missing it, and I told him not to worry."

"See, here's the thing, Ms Walsh..."

"Kate, please."

"Kate, then. Kurt is...well, I don't know what he's like here, but at home, and among our family and friends, he's kinda renowned for being outspoken, blunt, demanding..."

"Nice."

"But he's completely perfect," Blaine breathes, and it's all Kate can do not to sigh with happiness at the way his face lights up. "He's this...I don't know, this grand master of sass, but you know what else? He also has zero confidence in his abilities as a writer, a fashion journalist...a boyfriend."

"What?" Kate asks in surprise. "That's crazy! I mean totally insane. Kurt is not only good, he's gifted, Blaine, and I've told him that. I mean, I don't know him as a boyfriend, but he's good to you, right?"

"Yes, completely, but he just has this confidence thing, where no matter how many times people reassure him, it makes no difference until he's figured it out for himself. That's why I'm here. He's never going to come to you and ask for another shot at that promotion, because he's too worried you'll say no. That would destroy any confidence he does have, so he'd rather not hear it. I know you will have hired someone else for that spot by now, but I was just hoping that maybe you could consider him for anything in the future? And maybe let Kurt know that? Just so he doesn't feel like all hope is lost. I mean, he keeps saying it's fine, but he's so taken up with this," he says, gesturing to himself, "That he's not thinking about it. I think he's blocking it out, because he's upset he missed out, he just won't say anything about it."

"I didn't hire anyone else," Kate says, getting right to the point. "I wanted Kurt for the job, I just needed to prove to my boss that he has the unique ideas and take on fashion that we need here at runway."

"Oh. But I thought..."

"I was waiting for him to come to me," Kate carries on. "I now realize that's not going to happen. I was assuming he was no longer interested for whatever reason, and I figured I'd just have to advertise."

"You didn't advertise to begin with?"

"No, I just asked Kurt to pitch," she says with a small smile, then reaches for her phone. "Does Kurt have any plans for tonight?"

"Uh...no," Blaine stutters, deciding their chess match can wait. "He doesn't."

"Good. Can I take your boyfriend out to dinner?"

"Uh..." But he doesn't get to answer.

"Kurt!" Kate cries, when the call connects. "Listen, I need you to meet me at that Japanese restaurant on seventh. Not now, tonight at eight. Bring Blaine."

Kurt is obviously shrieking some kind of response, because she laughs, gives Blaine the thumbs up, then turns back to her phone. "Never mind why, just do it. I'll see you there."

Setting her phone back on the desk, she turns to Blaine with a warm smile. "Looks like we have a date. See you at eight."

* * *

><p>Blaine doesn't dare tell Kurt that he's been to see Kate; for a start, he knows what his reaction would be, and the way Kurt comes storming through the front door is enough to make his mind up there and then. Kurt keeps up a continuous monologue of entirely unreasonable rage, which actually makes Blaine insanely happy, because he knows Kurt is back to his normal self.<p>

He rages about the weather, that it's raining, meaning they will have to get a cab to the restaurant. He moans endlessly about the fact that it's past six when he gets home, so he hasn't got long to get ready, and when he finds out that his favourite suit is at the cleaners, Blaine thinks he might actually start throwing things, so he quietly moves the very expensive vase, which was his anniversary present to Kurt, and sets it on a high shelf.

Eventually he storms off to take a shower, and Blaine dresses quietly, hoping that the plaid navy and red suit he has picked out isn't too much, and that it will match with Kurt's choice.

"And why you?" Kurt asks, suddenly appearing with a towel around his waist, picking up where he left off. "Why are you invited?"

"I don't know," Blaine says softly. "Is it a problem? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"No." Kurt, with his back to Blaine, rummages in the drawer for underwear and socks, before turning around. "Far from it," he says, an appreciative grin coming onto his face. "God, you look beautiful."

"Is it...is it okay?" Blaine asks nervously. "Because I kinda feel sick with fear when we're meeting people from your work, like I'm never fashionable enough."

"You're Blaine, and that's enough for me," Kurt says, coming close to kiss his cheek. "Why didn't you ask for any help though?" he asks, a small frown forming on his face. "Your arm must hurt."

"It does, but you were kind of on a roll, so I thought it best not to say anything," he tells him honestly. "Could you do my bow-tie though? And my hair?"

"Absolutely." He leans in again, kissing Blaine's lips this time, and sighing contentedly when Blaine's hands, his right one free of the sling for the moment, settle on his waist.

Blaine surges deeper into the kiss, running his hands over Kurt's back, and ignoring the stabbing pain in his shoulder as he moves. "Kurt," he gasps, as the kiss breaks. He quickly moves his lips to Kurt's neck, to kiss a trail down to his shoulder, as his hands move to dip slightly below the towel, skimming the gentle swell of Kurt's ass. One tug. One small tug at the towel, and his boyfriend would be entirely naked, hard and ready for him. "Oh Kurt."

"Blaine," Kurt whimpers softly, his hands tangling into his hair. He was aiming for strong and commanding, but that's very hard to do when your erection is being gently rubbed through a towel, and you know that Blaine is ready to sink to his knees. "No," he eventually manages, as sweetly and kindly as possible. He steps back, and has to steady Blaine as he stumbles. "We can't."

"Please," Blaine begs shamelessly. "Please let me touch you."

"No," Kurt says again, but he smiles softly and caresses his cheek. "We can't. I'm not risking anything."

"We don't have to," Blaine tries, while Kurt shakes his head and laughs. "This can be all about you. You don't have to touch me at all."

"Blaine, it's not about me touching you, you know that. It's about you getting hard for long periods of time, the doctor said that."

"Okay," Blaine says brightly. "So suck me off real quick. I'm about ready to explode. I'll be super fast."

Kurt laughs again, pulling a black shirt from the closet and putting it on. "Sweetie, I know."

"Oh thanks!"

"No, I mean, I know how desperate you are, because I'm the same, but we have two weeks and three days left to wait. I don't want you to get me off when I can't reciprocate, because that wouldn't be fair. We'll wait this out together."

"I'm gonna sulk."

"I don't care," Kurt says with a smug grin, as he finishes dressing. "Now come here and I'll fix your hair."

"Your suit," Blaine says, his jaw dropping open as Kurt stands behind him, looking into the mirror.

"Hmm."

"What the hell?"

"Do you like it?"

Kurt's suit is navy, like Blaine's, but instead of a quiet, fine plaid pattern like Blaine's, it has enormous flowers all over it, in a mismatch of pinks, reds and whites.

"It's Gucci," Kurt adds proudly. "It was my splurge when I was in London. I just didn't get around to showing you because...well, because there were lots of splurges."

Blaine still stares into the mirror, as if trying to understand what in the world Kurt is wearing. "It's the most hideous thing I have ever seen," he tells him bluntly. "Why do you look so good in it? Why? How do you do that? It's vile, and yet on you it looks like a masterpiece. Goddamn Kurt, you look stunning."

"Well I'm glad you finished that statement," Kurt laughs, raking some product through Blaine's hair and coming around front to style it. "It's not that hideous."

"It is." Blaine reaches up with his good hand, drawing Kurt- whose hands are stuck in his hair- close, and into a long, drawn out kiss. "I mean it though, you leave me breathless."

"You're still not getting any action," Kurt laughs, though he knows that Blaine was giving a genuine compliment, and he's thrilled. "Now let's get a cab."

Maybe it's the weather, which means that there are no cabs to be found, but whatever the reason, by the time one does arrive, they are cutting it close to get to the restaurant by eight, and Kurt's bad mood has returned worse than ever.

"I don't get what this is for," he grumbles, as the cab pulls into the traffic. "What have I done?"

"It won't be anything bad," Blaine reassures. "Otherwise she wouldn't be asking you to dinner. She would call you into the office."

"Are others going? I mean, she didn't say," Kurt rambles, ignoring Blaine completely. "Oh my god, what if she's sending me overseas again? Well I won't go," he decides, with a firm nod. "I'm just gonna say that I can't right now, and if she doesn't like it well, then..."

"Just wait and see, Kurt."

"Oh my god I've got it," he says suddenly, turning to Blaine with his eyes wide. "I know what this is about, and I know why you're invited."

"You do?"

"She wants you to model. Fucking hell, that's it."

"Kurt," Blaine laughs. "You work for a women's magazine."

"You know Oliver, in accounting? Well, you don't, but still, Kate got his wife to model for them when she was pregnant. That came with a dinner too."

"She's a woman," Blaine points out.

"Makes no difference. We're about to do a feature; "Seven runway looks to try on your man." Fuck. I don't believe this!"

"Kurt, that is not why she's asked you to dinner, trust me."

"It is, I know it is! Makes total sense that you'd get to model for them and not me. I mean, look at you."

"Okay, you know what?" Blaine snaps. "Stop. I've had enough now. You have not been invited to dinner for me to model for Marie Claire. Anyway, even if I were ever asked, I wouldn't do it, and to think they would ask me over you is just insane. Now shut up and quit being grumpy. I get that you're nervous but don't take it out on me."

Kurt sits stunned into submission, though he should know the drill by now. Blaine always lets Kurt's temper run until he becomes unreasonable or offensive, and then he shuts him down with one short reprimand. Maybe it would be better if he didn't have these tempers to begin with, but however you look at it, their relationship works, so why change what is now a well practiced habit?

"Sorry," Kurt grouches, as the cab pulls up outside.

"No worries," Blaine says lightly, paying the driver and taking Kurt's hand to get out of the car. "And look, we're five minutes early."

"I love you," Kurt says, briefly pressing his face against Blaine's cheek. "And I'm really scared."

"I know and I know," Blaine smiles. "I love you too, now let's just see what happens."

They are shown to a table where Kate is already waiting for them, and she greets them warmly. Blaine is happy that the table is round. A silly thing, he knows, but he had been internally panicking over where they both should sit if it was rectangular. Truth be told, he's probably just as nervous as Kurt. He's hopeful that it won't be anything bad, given all that had transpired in their discussion this afternoon, but he's not entirely sure what Kate does want to say, and he's worried about what Kurt's reaction to it all will be.

"So, Blaine came to see me this afternoon," Kate says, as soon as they've ordered.

"He...what now?" Kurt asks, positively glaring across at Blaine.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't tell him," Kate says to Blaine with a smile, and he just gives a small shrug in response. "He told me you're a feisty one."

Kurt smiles tightly, and when he speaks it's through gritted teeth. "Did he? Fantastic."

"He also said you were upset about missing out on the promotion."

"It's fine," Kurt says, offering as bright a smile as he can muster. "I'm sure whoever you hired will be great for the job, and I won't give them any trouble, if that's what you're worried about." He gives another glare in Blaine's direction- who seems to be completely ignoring him- and takes a sip of his water. "All fine," he says quietly, and folds his hands neatly in his lap.

"I wondered if you'd still like to give your presentation." It's a statement, not a question, and though Kurt really feels like saying no, what can you do when your boss is basically demanding it?

"Sure," he says, his voice far more high pitched than usual. "I still have it all prepared. I could do it tomorrow."

"Great."

They are interrupted by the arrival of the food, and Kurt has to force down every bite, the anger and rage inside of him boiling to the point where it makes swallowing very difficult.

"Oh," Kate says casually, once they're halfway through their meal. "I just remembered. You can't do the presentation tomorrow, you'll be too busy. Do it Monday instead, that will give you more time to get settled."

"S-settled?" Kurt asks nervously. "W-what, why would I need to settle?"

"In your new office," Kate clarifies, hiding her smile. "Senior writers get their own."

"Excuse me?"

"Blaine told me you were upset about missing out on the promotion," Kate explains gently, reaching across to still his shaking hand. "But I didn't know, because you didn't say anything."

"Because I was supposed to give the pitch," Kurt says quietly. "And I couldn't because...and you'd been so good about me taking time off. I didn't want to ask and then hear that you'd hired someone else."

"I didn't hire anyone else, because I wanted you to have the job."

"Oh."

"And I still do."

"Oh."

Blaine moves his chair closer to Kurt, so he can rest his hand on his thigh under the table, and Kurt reaches down, finding his fingers and gripping them tightly.

"Do you want it?"

"Yes," Kurt breathes, unable to believe this is happening to him. "Please. I mean thank you. Yes."

"I would still like to hear the presentation on Monday though," Kate warns. "Because I need my bosses to know how awesome you are. If you're worried about anything, we can go through it together either tomorrow or Friday."

"Sure," Kurt says, biting his bottom lip. "This is it? I'm really the senior runway writer?"

"You really are, but let me say something before we celebrate."

Kurt nods, not trusting his voice, thinking it will give way to hysterical tears.

"Kurt, you need to have faith in yourself. The only reason you're sitting here is because Blaine knows you well enough to get that you were hiding your true emotions about this. I need you to fight in your corner, because in this industry? No one is going to do that for you. I don't know where you want to end up in life, but Blaine can't be running to the board of directors at GQ magazine asking them to make you senior editor, or setting up and running your own magazine for you while you sit in the shadows, worrying about putting yourself out there. Blaine tells me you're..what was it? Oh, a grand master of sass. So show me! I see bits of it, maybe, when you make some witty remark, and I go away thinking to myself 'Oh he's smart', but I want and need to see that side of you too. Call me out on stuff, call others out on stuff; especially now that you'll be a senior writer. Don't be afraid to suggest new things, step outside of that box. I said to Blaine earlier, you have incredible talent, Kurt. Please don't be afraid to use it. I'm not out to get you, I'm out to build you up, to make you the best fashion journalist you can be, so that when you move on from me, I can sit back smugly and think I played a part in all that."

"I will," Kurt says, finally allowing a smile to light up his face. "I promise I will, or I'll try, at least. And thank you, really, for the opportunity. I just...my own office?" he asks joyfully. "Really?"

"Yes," Kate laughs. "And a salary of forty two and a half thousand to go with it, if you want to take it."

"F-f-forty...Yes!" Kurt cries happily, then looks at Kate, who is shaking her head slowly. "Uh...I mean, call it an even forty five and you've got yourself a deal," he says, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. What if that's not what she wanted to hear?

"Deal," she grins, reaching across to shake his hand. "I must warn you though, you can expect a bigger workload, longer hours...but I try to be fair. I'm happy for you to work from home when you can, and of course, the job brings enhanced benefits and a great pension."

Kurt just sits and nods while Kate talks, unable to really take it all in, but he hears one word very clearly.

"Champagne?"

"I think I need an entire bottle of brandy," Kurt says, finally exhaling. "But yes, champagne would be good."

"Blaine?"

Kurt turns at the sound of his boyfriend's name. He had been sitting there so quietly, his hand placed comfortingly on Kurt's thigh, that he had almost forgotten about him. When he looks at him, it is to see Blaine gazing at him, full of pride, admiration, and most of all, love.

"I'm not old enough," Blaine says regretfully, but Kate just laughs and calls a waiter over.

"Champagne and three glasses please," she asks. "We have some celebrating to do."

* * *

><p>It is late by the time they bid Kate farewell, and once she is safely in a cab, Kurt links his arm through Blaine's and they head off down the street, not heading anywhere in particular, but just needing to be alone for a while rather than in the confines of a cab.<p>

"Go on," Blaine says eventually. "I know you're dying to talk over every minute detail of the evening, so shoot."

"Okay," Kurt says brightly, bouncing excitedly as he walks. "Well, first of all, this."

Stopping Blaine on the street, he slides one hand into his hair, pulling him into a deep, passionate kiss. Blaine stumbles slightly, before he gladly accepts Kurt's lips on his, kissing back eagerly.

They've never made out like this in public, not unless it's in a darkened club or bar, but Kurt is kissing Blaine for all he's worth, as if he can never get enough, and Blaine...well, Blaine doesn't care that they're on the street, with busy New Yorkers hurrying around them. He fails to notice the whoop of appreciation from a group of guys as they walk past, or three giggling girls, who laugh even louder when Kurt pins Blaine up against the shutters of a store, to kiss him even more.

Blaine only notices the feel of Kurt's lips moving over his, the touch of his fingers curling warmly around his neck, and best of all, the hardness of Kurt's erection pushing against him.

"Thank you," Kurt whispers when they part, totally breathless, and with swollen lips and sparkling eyes. "I love you so much. What you did was just...well, it's landed me the best job of my entire life, so..."

"I thought you were gonna freak out on me," Blaine admits, then pulls Kurt close again. "I prefer the kisses."

"I think that if we'd been left alone at the start of the evening, I'd probably have spit in your eye," Kurt admits. He laughs as he thinks back over his whirlwind of emotions during the course of the evening. "I'm glad Kate did all the talking. I guess I listened, whereas if you had tried to explain, I would have really let you have it."

"I actually didn't know she was going to give you the promotion," Blaine says honestly. "But I'm glad she did. You really deserve this, Kurt, and if I could play some small part in it, then I'm glad, because I was so upset when I realized you'd missed out on it because of me."

"One thing though," Kurt says, as they start to walk along slowly again. "When I said I was fine, I kinda meant it. I mean, I was upset to think I'd missed out, but I would never, in a million years, have gone to the presentation instead of being with you, and I hope you know that."

"Yeah I do, because I know I'd be the same. I guess we're just in love," Blaine sighs dramatically.

"I think I can live with that," Kurt says. He laughs and slides an arm around Blaine's waist. "Wanna go home and make out?"

"No. I wanna go home and have sex," Blaine pouts.

"Blaine!"

"What? I'm desperate. Just...distract me, before I lose my mind."

"Okay." Kurt thinks. "I got it. So I guess this weekend will be pretty packed, but how about next weekend, we go on that date I've been promising for so long?"

Blaine smiles broadly. "Sounds good."

And they walk on, with Kurt plotting and planning, and Blaine not realizing that pretty soon, Kurt will be asking him to become his husband.


	21. Chapter 21

"I totally love Coney Island!" Blaine says happily, and Kurt laughs and swings their hands between them as they walk.

"I can't believe you've never had a corn dog."

"Well I have now."

"I know, but seriously? You've gone twenty years on this planet and never had a corn dog?"

"Because they always looked... I don't know. Not good."

"Oh but they are good, Blaine," Kurt teases. "Soooo good."

Laughing, Blaine tackles Kurt around his waist until he can kiss just below his jaw. "A bit like you," he whispers quickly, then pulls back and looks around him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just...get worried."

"They're not gonna be here."

"I know that," Blaine says lightly, but he's quiet for a moment after.

"Let's take a walk on the beach," Kurt suggests. "Then we can get dinner."

"If you can keep it down after that thunderbolt ride," Blaine teases.

"Hey! That was a very vigorous roller coaster! They should warn people about stuff like that."

"You could see it going around!" Blaine says with a laugh as they walk. "You knew what it was like."

"I didn't know it was that bad, and I didn't know that you'd howl with laughter all the way around, while I clung tightly to you and prayed that we'd make it off there alive."

"I loved it."

"You shouldn't have gone on it, not with your collarbone like that."

"No sling now," Blaine points out, and he swings his arms high above his head for emphasis, but Kurt sees the flash of pain and pulls them down again.

"One day," he says sternly. "You've had it out of that sling for one day. Now behave yourself."

They settle down as they walk along the beach, gradually leaving the crowds of the funfair behind, until it is almost completely quiet except for the sound of the waves.

Kurt is ready. The engagement ring is safely stowed in his pocket, and he's got his speech prepared. There's one man walking toward them with a dog on a leash, and a woman with a small child coming from the other way. Guiding Blaine to a large log resting on the sand, they sit together while Kurt waits for them to pass.

"I love you."

"Hmm." Blaine smiles, and rests his head on Kurt's shoulder. "I love you too. I love this date. It's been amazing."

"It's not over yet. There's still dinner."

"True."

"Blaine," he says, when dog man has passed and there's only the child and her mom left to go. "I've been thinking a lot about..."

"Daddy!"

The small girl suddenly heads straight toward Blaine, her arms outstretched, dark hair flowing in the wind.

"Daddy, daddy!"

She's very young, around eighteen months or so, and her mom runs behind her, scooping her up right in front of Blaine and Kurt. "Oh my gosh I am so sorry," she pants, her cheeks rosy. "She is a nightmare! She calls every dark haired man we see daddy and it's so embarrassing."

"Daddy!"

"No he's not," the mom laughs, while Blaine and Kurt smile politely. "So sorry."

"It's fine," Blaine says, though Kurt knows it's very far from fine at all.

"Real daddy is taking our son to the bathroom," the woman feels the need to explain, and then she turns to Kurt. "Just so you know? Your friend here is not the father of my child. I've never seen him before in my life."

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!"

"Madison, no! There's no way on earth this man could ever be your daddy, now stop! I'm just gonna leave," she says, her face glowing with embarrassment. "I am really so sorry."

"No worries," Blaine says brightly, and he even manages to wave to the little girl as well.

His shoulders slump when they're gone though, and Kurt reaches out, lacing their fingers together. "Blaine..."

"It's okay." He straightens up, and tries to pretend that his eyes aren't really swimming with tears. "You were saying something about dinner?"

Kurt thinks. He can't ask him like this. They had the perfect moment, and now that lay in tatters. As gutted as he is though, Blaine needs him right now, and so he pushes all thoughts of a proposal out of his mind, and stands, offering his hand.

"Yeah. I was thinking. How about we get the subway back to Manhattan and pick up Chinese food before we head home? We could watch Moulin Rouge? We haven't seen it for at least a week."

Blaine sighs and hugs Kurt tight. "Thank you," he says quietly, and Kurt nods and takes his hand.

Blaine is quiet that evening. After they've eaten, he settles with his head on the arm of the couch, his feet curled into Kurt's lap, who rubs them gently. He doesn't sing a note during Moulin Rouge, so Kurt doesn't either, and eventually he sighs and moves to spoon behind him on the couch, where Blaine gratefully accepts his arms around his waist.

He doesn't think Kurt has seen his tears, but his hand coming up to brush them away tells him otherwise, as does the soft kiss to his cheek.

"It's stupid, isn't it?" he says, when Kurt pauses the DVD. "I mean we've already talked about this, and whatever happens, it's not like I'm never gonna have a kid call me daddy. It's just...when she said there's no way I could be her father, it kinda...hurt."

"I get that, and I'm so sad for you. I wish there was something I could do to make this better."

Blaine stares into the distance for a while, letting a few tears fall, and then turns in Kurt's arms, coming to rest so they're almost nose to nose. "There is one thing you could do."

"Yeah?"

"Make love to me? I know we're supposed to wait another week," he rushes on, before Kurt can protest, "But I really miss being with you like that. I miss the closeness it brings, connecting with you in that way. I just...miss you. The touch of your hands, the feel of your body pressed against mine, the contours of your skin. I miss seeing you smiling in that blissed out haze, I just..."

He's cut off by Kurt's lips on his. Sweet, gentle, and utterly loving, he carefully guides Blaine until he's sitting, and then he tugs him to his feet and into the bedroom.

"You have to tell me," Kurt says, as he flips a lamp on. "If it hurts, feels uncomfortable...anything. Please."

"I will," Blaine promises, though somehow Kurt thinks there's no way in hell he's going to admit defeat.

"Oh, and Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

Kurt walks toward him, pulling his sweater over his head and letting it drop to the floor. "I've missed you too."

They undress each other slowly and silently, taking time to cherish each and every moment as much as they can. When they're shirtless, Blaine pulls Kurt close and holds him tightly against his chest. "Oh god," he murmurs, burying his head into Kurt's neck, his mouth moving over his skin. "Oh _god_."

Both feel positively giddy, just at the feel of their bare chests together. They've denied themselves any of this, knowing that if they decided to sleep at night as they usually do, it would only be a matter of time before they broke, so they've stayed away. Even when Kurt would help Blaine in the shower or bath, he averted his eyes and kept things chaste, however much it pained them both.

"I might be..." Kurt says, breaking off with a gasp when Blaine sucks a hickey onto his neck, just where it meets his shoulder. "I might be the first guy to come in his pants from hugging his boyfriend."

"Actually you might be the second." Blaine laughs, then moves his hands to Kurt's belt. "Let's just try and get a little further, shall we?"

Blaine still moves torturously slow, as if testing both himself and Kurt, taking his time to kiss down Kurt's chest, until he kneels on the floor and looks up, his fingers poised on Kurt's zipper.

"What?"

Blaine smiles. "You're beautiful."

Kurt reaches out, running a hand through Blaine's hair, which is already wild, then he gasps as Blaine lowers his pants and underwear in one shot. He smoothes his hands over his thighs, before he buries his face into Kurt's groin, breathing him in. "So beautiful," he whispers again.

Turning, his lips find the base of Kurt's erection and kiss there. There is a gasp from above, and then strong hands sliding into his hair, digging into his scalp. Blaine carries on, kissing up the length of his cock, which is already aching for release, until he reaches the head, where he lets his tongue taste, dipping into his slit and moaning happily.

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ," Kurt cries loudly. Blaine engulfs him, unable to get enough, to taste enough, to feel enough. He takes Kurt deeper and deeper, his hands coming up to grip his ass cheeks tightly, kneading them, spreading Kurt wide so his fingers can tease over his entrance.

"Stop it, Blaine, I'll come!" Kurt groans, and he nearly feels like crying with desperation when Blaine pulls off and looks up.

"Sorry. I just..." He catches his breath, swallows, and tries again. "You taste so good."

"And it feels so good," Kurt says with a smile, as Blaine gets to his feet. "But..."

"I know."

Blaine reaches for the buttons of his fly, but Kurt's hand stops him. "Let me."

He doesn't know why he trembles in Kurt's arms once he's naked, all Blaine knows is he feels entirely vulnerable, and yet at the same time totally safe, because he knows Kurt has him, will take care of him, and will never let him go.

"You okay?"

Blaine nods, not trusting his voice, but Kurt seems to understand him anyway. "Here," he says, pulling back the covers. "Let's get under for a moment and just hold each other."

It's better under the covers, in Kurt's arms and with his leg draped heavy over his thigh, and Blaine finds his voice once more. "I don't know why I'm nervous," he says quietly.

"I am too," Kurt admits, reaching out to gently hold his face in his hands. "And no, I don't know why. Just let me make you feel good. I want to help you relax."

Blaine wonders if one day he will tire of the feeling of Kurt's lips on his, but he doesn't think that will ever happen. The way they seem to move so perfectly together, as Kurt's hands smooth over his body, just makes him feel alive. As if nothing else matters except being together in this way. Kurt knows him better than anyone, and is the only person to ever know him like this, to share this open, raw intimacy with him, and Blaine soon relaxes under his touch, drawing his knees up for Kurt to smooth one slick finger over his entrance, before slipping inside.

"That feels so good," Blaine whispers as he exhales.

"You okay?"

"Yeah." He smiles, pulling Kurt into a long kiss. "I'm more than okay."

Kurt moves down, kissing just above Blaine's hip, and he laughs when he squirms beneath him. "All good," he teases, then runs his tongue around the head of his cock, just as he slides another finger inside.

He doesn't take Blaine too deep; still anxious that he might harm him in some way, but Blaine seems more than satisfied, his breath coming harsh and ragged, as Kurt stretches him wide open, and seeks for the one spot that he knows will blow his mind.

"Fuck!"

Kurt knows he's there when Blaine rises off the bed and shouts loudly in pleasure. Kurt keeps up his rhythm, until he can feel Blaine's knees start to shake where they're resting against his shoulders, and then he pulls back, spooning behind him.

"This way?" Blaine asks, and Kurt gives a quick kiss to his shoulder before reaching for the lube.

"I don't want to hurt you by pressing on top of you," Kurt explains. "Besides, I can hold you better like this."

Blaine doesn't argue, in fact, he's more than happy when Kurt wraps an arm around his middle before pushing inside. He comes to rest, pushed tightly against Blaine's back, and they both take a moment to just appreciate being together.

"Love you," Kurt murmurs, and Blaine brings his hand to his lips, kissing his palm.

"I love you too."

"This is perfect," Kurt says, as he begins to move.

And it is.

It's all soft sighs and gentle moans, and little whimpers that get swallowed when Blaine manages to turn and kiss Kurt on the mouth.

"Oh Jesus," Kurt pants. "Blaine just...be mine, please, be mine."

"I am," Blaine reassures, as Kurt pushes deeper and faster. "I am yours, always."

In the end, Kurt bites into Blaine's shoulder to shut himself up, because proposing marriage when on the brink of a mind-blowing orgasm that's been building for six weeks, well, that's never going to be a good idea.

"There!" Blaine cries loudly. "Ah shit, yes, Kurt, right there. Take me, come on, touch me, please."

Kurt obliges. He knows it will all be over very quickly, but he also knows neither one of them can hold on, and sure enough, Blaine comes after just three strokes of his hand, with a loud cry of pleasure.

Kurt manages two more thrusts, until he drives as deep as he can and his orgasm hits. He feels as if he's exploding from the inside out, and Blaine is still coming around him, spurting onto his hand and down onto the sheets with gasp after gasp, until he shudders and then is still.

"Fuck," Kurt mutters, letting his head drop forward into the crook of Blaine's neck. "I knew I loved you for a reason." Blaine gives a sleepy laugh, wincing when Kurt pulls out. "You okay?" he asks with concern. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, I just wanted you to stay in there forever, that's all."

"That'd be nice," Kurt agrees, and he leans over Blaine to wipe up his mess. "But awkward when we needed groceries or whatever."

"True."

Blaine rolls onto his back, holding out an arm for Kurt to cuddle in, which he does. "Love you, tiger."

"I love you too. Making love with you is pretty awesome, you know that?"

"Hmm."

"You going to sleep on me there?"

"No," Blaine says, his voice heavy. "Just enjoying this."

"Good. Because I want to say something."

"Go ahead."

"Okay, so our date today was kinda set up for a reason," Kurt says. He looks at Blaine's chest as he talks, playing with the hair there rather than looking at him directly. "I've been thinking a lot recently, about us, our relationship. The fact is, you make me incredibly happy. I didn't think I could do this, you know? Us. I didn't think I could make it a thing, but you make it easy to be with you, because you're just such an amazing person. I think we're good together, you and I, don't you?"

"Totally."

"And I see how much you love me. I mean, I don't doubt it now. I did in the beginning, maybe, like I couldn't work out why you would want to be with me, but now I just..._know_. I know that you do, and I know that I do. So since New Years, I've been planning for us to have some kind of amazing day together, only things keep happening, and then today I thought it had all gone wrong, only it hadn't, and now it's perfect, and I um...well..."

Kurt pauses for breath and looks up. "Blaine? Are you asleep?"

There is no answer. Blaine is out like a light, his face peaceful and rested, and Kurt can't help but laugh and kiss his cheek. "Yeah," he mutters, turning over and flipping out the light, before curling back into Blaine's arms. "I totally hate you, love of my life."

* * *

><p>For a while, Kurt pushes all thoughts of a proposal to the back of his mind, and resolves to try again at the end of summer. He knows Blaine is making plans to go back to Ohio for a couple of weeks to work with his dad, and then they all have another road trip in Bessie planned. Blaine will also get the results of his fertility test, plus he has finals, so Kurt figures he'll plan another epic date in August or September. Oddly enough, although he's desperate to propose, he doesn't feel an overwhelming urge to get engaged. He knows Blaine isn't going anywhere, and he knows they are both comfortable and secure in their relationship. He also knows that their marriage won't be imminent, so he's happy to wait and plan the most perfect moment to ask him, because the thing he's most excited for, is seeing Blaine's face when he says those words. Despite Kurt being a lot more open with his affections, he still thinks Blaine won't ever expect him to propose.<p>

A funny thing happens to Blaine during his finals. Well, maybe not so funny, given that it's Blaine and not Kurt, but he goes exceptionally quiet. He's always quiet in comparison to Kurt, but the stress and aggravation of second year finals that Kurt was expecting, just doesn't come, and instead he gets met with a wall of silence.

"Did it go okay?" Kurt asks anxiously, after his first exam, as Blaine flops on the couch and picks up the remote.

"Yeah."

"Good. Did you answer everything?"

Blaine frowns. "Of course."

"Was it tough? Or easy? Did you finish in the time limit? I always used to still be scribbling like mad when the time was up."

"It was fine."

"What do you have tomorrow?"

"More."

"Yeah, but... are you mad at me?"

"No, of course not." Blaine holds his arms open, and Kurt goes to him, settling on top of him and gladly accepting the kisses that Blaine drops over his face. "I could never be mad at you."

"Blaine Anderson that is a complete lie," Kurt laughs, and Blaine laughs with him, but then resumes his tv watching again.

He's not rude, he's not snappy, he's not anything at all, he's just very distant, and in the end, Kurt calls his dad about it.

"I'm worried about him!"

"Of course you are, that and you wanted a chance to complain," Burt laughs. "Listen kid,"

"I'm thirty one."

"Listen kid, Blaine isn't like you. He doesn't yell and scream and shout about anything really, does he? You two? You're well suited, but you're miles apart on this kind of stuff. If he's gone quiet, it's only because he's focused on his studying. You know how much he beat himself up over that ninety eight last year. He'll be wanting to improve on that. I don't think he's deliberately shutting you out, more like he just can't see you right now, because his head is full of mechanics and physics."

"He's in some kind of dream," Kurt agrees. "I wish he'd just come home and say it went well, or badly, or something, but he doesn't."

"He's in the zone."

"Two weeks of the zone? Dad, I can't."

"Kurt, you can, and you will."

"I'm gonna make him talk to me."

"You are not! Just leave him be. If he's not being problematic, and you two aren't fighting, then why ruffle his feathers? Think of fashion week, Kurt, or weeks, seeing as they have about ten a year. Poor Blaine lives in fear for his life, and yet he never tried to get you to change."

Kurt can't help but laugh, and Burt grins at home in his den. "Now that's nice to hear. If I'd said that two years ago you'd have lynched me."

"Yeah well, if you were here I'd give you a slap."

"I miss you, buddy, and Blaine. It's been too long."

"I know," Kurt sighs. "Just let us get finals done. We'll come home then."

"That'll be good. Tell Blaine I love him."

"And me?"

"I always love you, my baby boy."

"Oh god," Kurt moans. "Shut up, please."

"Go." Burt laughs, as Kurt huffs. "Annoy the child prodigy."

"He is not a child!"

"He is to me. You both are, and always will be."

* * *

><p>"Finished!"<p>

Kurt jumps about a foot when the apartment door slams back on its hinges, and Blaine stands there, a huge grin on his face.

"I'm done! All my finals are out of the way! Well, until the next round."

Laughing, Kurt goes to him, hugging him hard. "I am so proud of you."

"Here." Blaine picks up a huge bouquet of flowers, holding them out proudly. "For you."

Kurt takes them, kissing his cheek before sniffing the blooms. "What for?"

"For putting up with me. I know I haven't been easy to live with."

"Blaine, you've been fine. Quiet, but fine."

"Well." He gives a small shrug, embarrassed. "I've been kinda shutting you out. I didn't mean to, I just...studying. It gets in the way."

"I know, and really it's okay," Kurt reassures. He sets the flowers on the counter and turns, taking him in his arms properly. "I still love you, and I knew you'd come back to me."

"I love you too. Ugh, I feel so relieved."

"I'll bet. Why don't you grab us both a beer while I start dinner?"

"You know what? Let's go out," Blaine suggests. "There's a new diner opened a couple of blocks over. I feel like stuffing my face with a burger and fries."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt whines. "You know I don't eat that stuff."

"Mmmhmm," Blaine agrees, knowing full well Kurt will eat far more than he will. "I'm sure they have salad."

"Well, I'll go for you then," he says, a small smile playing on his face. "But can we go now? I'm starving."

"Sure."

* * *

><p>"A couple of blocks, you said," Kurt complains, as he stomps along. "A couple. This is fifteen, Blaine. Fifteen blocks."<p>

"We're here now," Blaine says calmly.

"Fifteen blocks."

"Be quiet and get inside," Blaine says, rolling his eyes.

They find a booth, and Blaine takes his time to browse the menu, while Kurt is quick to order a bacon double cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake.

"They have salad," Blaine teases, once he's ordered and the waitress has gone.

"Do they?" Kurt asks airily. "I didn't see that."

"I can change your order to a caesar salad if you'd rather?"

"Hmm, probably best not to make a fuss," Kurt says, then breaks out into a huge grin and reaches across for Blaine's hand. "Fifteen fucking blocks."

"Shut up." Blaine laughs, playing with his fingers. "So I called dad when I got out of the exam."

"And?"

"My mom wants to come on our road trip."

"Well, I kinda figured she would. Are you not happy?"

"Not really. I don't want her there."

"Blaine."

"It's family time."

"She is your family," Kurt points out. "Our family. She's part of it."

"You know, I still haven't talked with her about all that happened. Not properly, anyway. I mean, has she heard from Spencer? Is she filing for divorce? She doesn't tell me anything, just asks me stuff."

"Probably because she doesn't want you worrying about her."

Blaine makes a face. "Even so, you'd think she would want me to know more about it, or something, but she hasn't said a word."

"She has dad, don't forget," Kurt reminds him. "She probably talks to him about stuff."

"That's the other thing. Is she gonna continue living with him? Because if I'm going back for two weeks, well, it'll be weird."

"I don't know, you'd have to ask one of them." Kurt shrugs, smiling at the waitress when she brings their shakes. "She has a job now, I'm guessing she will be saving to get an apartment somewhere. Her and dad seem to have a kind of sibling relationship, which is nice, but there's not many adults who want to live together in that way. She's young, she might still meet..."

"Do not even go there."

"No, okay," Kurt says, surprised by the sudden flash of anger in Blaine's eyes. "Well anyway, let her come on the trip. It'll be fun."

"She's not driving."

"Of course not."

"And if I get stressed out over it all, then it'll be up to you to make me feel better."

"I'm good at that."

Blaine grins, flushing pink with pleasure. "I know you are."

Their meal is easier after that, and Kurt eats not only all of his own food, but a good portion of Blaine's too, plus the majority of the apple pie they order to share.

"I'm stuffed," he groans, when they step out of the diner. It is dusk, the warmth of early summer still lingering, even though it's nearly nine. Blaine takes his hand in his and kisses the back of it.

"Let's walk."

"Fifteen blocks, Blaine," Kurt reminds him. "We'll get a cab."

"Come on," Blaine coaxes him. "It's a beautiful evening."

Kurt looks up at the sky and frowns. "It looks like it's going to rain."

"It does not." Blaine laughs, and tugs on his hand to start walking. "Now quit complaining and get moving."

They are about halfway home when Kurt is proved right, and with a massive roll of thunder, the skies open. The rain doesn't so much fall, as pour down in a heavy deluge, soaking them through to the skin in seconds.

"Oh my God!" Kurt screams, not quite believing what is happening. "Just...oh my God!"

"Holy fuck that's a lot of rain," Blaine says in awe. It seems to bounce off the sidewalk in huge, giant droplets, and he can feel them trickling down his neck and beneath the collar of his shirt.

"Don't curse," Kurt reprimands. "Just run."

"There's no point in running," Blaine says with a laugh. "We're wet enough already." But at the first flash of lightning he pulls Kurt into a jog and they run through the streets of Manhattan, now near deserted, laughing loudly until they arrive breathless on the corner of their block.

"You know," Kurt pants, unable to keep the breathless laughter from his voice. "Our first kiss was in rain like this."

"It was." Blaine smiles.

"It was incredible."

"I assume you're referring to the kiss in my driveway, rather than the one in the garage? Cause that was more of an angry attempt to bruise my lips."

Kurt ducks his head with a shy smile, as the rain pours down his face. "Yeah, I'd rather forget about that one."

"Me too." Blaine stops, lifting Kurt's chin gently. "You looked just like this," he murmurs, so softly that Kurt has to strain to hear him over the rain. "Your hair was all flat, rain dripping off your nose, but your eyes were shining, and you looked so beautiful, Kurt. So beautiful."

"I remember the feel of your hair running through my fingers," Kurt says, as his hands move to rake through his soaking wet curls. "It's been one of my favorite sensations ever since. And I was trying to apologize to you, but I just..."

It's as if time has moved backwards, as Kurt finds himself unable to speak. He claims Blaine's mouth in a passionate kiss, and Blaine's hands move up just as they did four years ago, to fist at his shirt and pull him close.

Kurt presses closer, not even noticing the rain anymore, as he runs his tongue along Blaine's lips and moans softly in his throat. Blaine's hands move to his back, quickly untucking his shirt and finding their way to his skin.

Kurt feels as if he could kiss Blaine forever, and even when it breaks, he goes back in for more, over and over, until gradually it slows to gentle kisses dropped on slightly parted lips, and then their foreheads rest together.

"Wow," Blaine whispers, and then a massive grin appears on his face. "Just wow. We should uh...we should get inside."

Kurt takes his hand and nods, and together they start walking again, their building only a few doors away.

"I'm gonna marry you one day," he tells Blaine, nudging their shoulders together.

"Says who?"

"Says me," Kurt grins.

"And what if I say no?"

"You won't say no."

"I might," Blaine says with a shrug. "Anyway, what if I ask you first?"

"You won't do that either."

"Oh yeah?" Blaine teases. "And how do you know that?"

"Because I'm asking you now."

"What?" Blaine laughs, then stops suddenly. "Huh? Seriously, what?"

He suddenly becomes aware that they have stopped right outside their building, the rain still hammering down around them. Kurt takes both his hands in his, looks him right in the eye, and then gets down on one knee.

"Blaine...I have been wanting to ask you for so long. I've been waiting and waiting for the most perfect moment, only now I realize that pretty much every moment I'm with you is completely perfect. I know I'm rambling, but I need you to know; you're it for me. You have given me so much, taught me so much, and sometimes I have to just stop and take stock of it all, because I can't believe that I've found such happiness with such an amazing man as you. You are truly wonderful, inside and out. The way you love me, the way you love dad...you say you're so thankful for us, but trust me Blaine, you make it so damn easy for us to love you.

I am honored to be your boyfriend, and I don't care if that sounds cheesy or silly, because I am. I am so ridiculously proud to be with you, to look at you and know that I can make you smile, that we share moments that no one else will ever have, and to know that you have chosen to love me with all your heart."

Kurt pauses, his tears mixing with the raindrops on his face, as he looks up to see Blaine crying too.

"I'll never know what I've done to deserve you," he carries on. "I only know that I never want this to end, and I'd be honored if you'd let me spend the rest of my life making you happy. So, Blaine Anderson, my best friend, my one true love, will you marry me?"

Blaine blinks like a startled rabbit, before he kneels opposite Kurt and takes his face in his hands. "Yes," he says simply, and then seals their engagement with a kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

Brian looks outside at the weather and grimaces. He could get a cab to the retirement home, but given how heavy the storm is, he doesn't really think he stands much chance of getting one, so pulling open the front door of the building, he opens up his umbrella and steps out.

Kurt and Blaine are not huddled in the doorway under the canopy as they often are, so Brian assumes they're staying home this evening...until he trips over Blaine's foot, and then he notices them.

Kneeling on the sidewalk in the pouring rain, eating each other's faces, as Loic would say. Blaine doesn't even flinch, and they also don't pull apart as they usually do.

"Sorry boys," Brian calls above the noise of the rumbling storm. "Didn't see you there. I wasn't really expecting you to be kneeling on the sidewalk."

He gets no answer, and carries on his way, looking back at the corner to find them still kissing.

In fact, he's probably several blocks down by the time they do actually pull apart, breathless and soaking wet, though they couldn't care less.

"Yes?" Kurt asks, still holding Blaine's face in his hands.

"Yes." Blaine laughs, and unable to resist, he gives another kiss to his lips. "Absolutely yes. Why would it ever be a no?"

"Well, I kinda assumed you'd agree, but you never know."

"You surprised me," Blaine says, then bites his lip, before leaning close to kiss under Kurt's jaw. "I asked dad's permission the day I came home from the hospital."

"Really?" Kurt laughs. "Cause I asked him at New Years."

"He knew?"

"Of course he knew! He knew before I did. It was...Oh!" Kurt suddenly remembers something. "Come with me," he urges, tugging Blaine to his feet. "Oh, but keep kissing me, cause I'm not ready to stop just yet."

They stagger inside, kissing heatedly, until Kurt breaks away and grins. "You're my fiancé!"

"That is...yeah, that is like the best thing ever," Blaine says, pressing the button for the elevator. "Man, we're really wet."

"It's raining."

"Yeah." Blaine gives a shudder as the elevator arrives, and he quickly tugs Kurt inside.

"Cold?"

"Yeah, but you're hot," Blaine murmurs, immediately kissing along Kurt's jaw again, until he gets to his earlobe. "My fiancé."

"Stop it." Kurt laughs, but it turns into a whimper when Blaine unbuttons the top button of his shirt, and bites at his neck. "There are cameras in here."

"I don't care."

Kurt lets his head fall back against the wall with a thud, as images of Blaine taking him right there and then form in his head. "Hmm. Are you gonna get wild tonight?"

"Very."

"Fuck, yes."

The elevator opens, and they step out, then Blaine tugs on Kurt's hand as they head to their apartment. "Not like, really wild. Just like...Blaine wild," he says, panicking, in case Kurt is expecting some kind of bondage session.

"Wild Blaine is amazing," Kurt says happily, then pulls him inside, kicking the door closed behind them.

Blaine is on him right away, filled with a deep longing to make love to this man who had just laid his heart on the line in the best possible way, but Kurt steps back, kissing his lips lightly. "Wait here," he says, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room. "I'll be like...five seconds.

Sure enough, he is back quickly, not even caring that they're still wet and cold and dripping all over the floor. He gets down on one knee again, and takes Blaine's left hand in his. "On New Years Eve, when we had our party, that moment, when we kissed at midnight, it just felt so _right_. So completely and utterly perfect, and I knew, right there and then, that I was going to propose to you. I knew you'd never expect me to do it, because you know how I fear rejection, or looking like a fool, or laying my heart on the line...or anything involving emotion, really, but...well, I'm rambling."

"You always do."

"True." He stops a moment to compose himself, before he starts crying again. "Okay. So...like I said, I knew. And when I went to London, I didn't just buy that hideous suit and those amazing boots. I also bought you that nerdy book about the mechanics of the London Underground, and bow ties, and a shirt and...this."

Kurt holds out a small box, which he opens to reveal a platinum band set with a small diamond. It isn't ostentatious, it's simple, elegant, beautiful and understated, just like Blaine himself, which is exactly why Kurt had picked it. For all its simplicity, it was also incredibly valuable, again just like Blaine, whose eyes have gone wide as he looks down at it.

"You went to London in February."

"I know. Like I said, I've been waiting for the right time and..."

"It's beautiful. And this is the right time, isn't it?" Blaine asks quietly. "I mean, I have nothing to compare it to, but I'd say that for us, this all feels right, doesn't it?"

"It'd feel better if you let me just get the damn ring on your finger."

Blaine laughs and holds out his hand. "Go for it. I'm warning you though, lots of kisses are coming your way. Loads."

Kurt takes the ring from the box, and holds it at the tip of Blaine's finger. "I hope it fits. It better. I measured your finger with string when you were sleeping and..."

"Kurt! Rambling."

"Yes! Sorry." He laughs, and then slides the ring into place. It fits perfectly, and for a moment they are both silent and still, looking down at Blaine's hand held in Kurt's. Then Kurt looks up, and Blaine bends down, his hands framing Kurt's face as he pulls him into a fierce kiss.

Their position is hard to balance, and gradually Blaine moves until he's kneeling, then gently pushes Kurt back onto the rug so he can fall on top of him. "Let's get you out of those wet clothes," he murmurs, his tongue tracing a pattern down the side of Kurt's neck. "And I think we should take a shower to warm up."

"Blaine, you need to be careful. We've only had sex twice since and..."

"And now I'm ready to make it three," he whispers hotly, his fingers making light work of Kurt's buttons.

He spreads Kurt's shirt open, and he's powerless to resist, arching his back with a loud cry when Blaine sucks a hickey just under his nipple. At the same time, Blaine keeps one hand running over his cock, swelling rapidly in the front of his pants, until he becomes desperate to get them open, but Blaine is teasing, kissing over his chest, dipping his tongue into his belly button, before nipping at his side, just above his waistband.

"Blaine, please!"

"What?"

"Touch me!" Kurt cries loudly.

"I am."

"No, I mean my cock. Please. I wanna feel your hand around my cock."

"I love hearing you talk like that," Blaine admits, and he moves to lie along Kurt's side, his breath tickling his ear. "It turns me on even more."

"There's more where that came from." Kurt grins, happy that Blaine is up for a bit of fun. "Do you want me to tell you what I want you to do to me?"

"Yes."

"Well." Kurt pauses, his voice light and teasing, and there's a twinkle in his eye which tells Blaine he won't regret this. "First of all, I wanna strip you, cause my fiancé is in too many wet clothes." He sits up and Kurt carries on, peeling Blaine's jacket and shirt from him as he speaks. "You are so hot."

He cuts Blaine off with a kiss, before he can declare himself not beautiful, or nothing to write home about, as he usually does, and then suddenly he's flat on his back for Kurt to move lower, kissing just above his hip, and laughing when Blaine's knee jerks up into his stomach.

"Every time."

"It tickles!"

"Can I?" Kurt asks, his hand pausing at the top of Blaine's fly. "Can I suck you?"

"Oh god yes," Blaine whimpers, because really, it's been too, too long since he was taken deep into the heat of Kurt's mouth.

"You always taste so good," Kurt murmurs, then licks the length of him, flicking his tongue over the head.

Totally naked, Blaine shivers as Kurt engulfs him, the feeling one of which he will never tire. It doesn't matter that they're lying on a wet rug in the living room, or that they're cold, or that the storm still rages outside. What matters is that Kurt's mouth is around him, his tongue moving up and down the length of his cock, as he bobs his head up and down. Blaine runs his fingers into Kurt's hair, and then opens his eyes. The sight of that platinum band on his left hand sends him wild, and he thrusts up, seeking more from Kurt, who just moans and takes all he has to offer.

"Oh god Kurt, your mouth, your tongue. Engaged."

"Huh?" Kurt pulls off quickly with a gasp, panting for breath, his cheeks red.

"What?"

"You were like, praising my blow job prowess, and then just blurted out 'Engaged.' It was kinda random."

"Oh." Blaine smiles, when he notices Kurt laughing quietly. "Sometimes my..."

"Inside voice comes out, yeah, I know. Engaged. Cute though." Kurt grins, and then leans down and kisses the base of his erection. "Your cock is beautiful." He notices Blaine twitch in anticipation, and kisses there again. "I wanna feel it inside me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I want you to take me, Blaine."

"Oh god," he moans, running his hands desperately through his own hair. "Get up here. C'mon. Let me kiss you."

"With pleasure."

Kurt knows his words have really got Blaine going, because his kisses are sloppy and he fumbles to get Kurt's pants off quickly. "You're not wearing underwear," he gasps happily, when Kurt's cock springs free. "Fuck. Talk to me some more. Tell me... tell me how you want me to take you."

"I want you to rim me," Kurt whispers, groaning happily when he feels Blaine wrap his hand around his cock. "I want your tongue in me, eating me, opening me up for your cock to just slip inside."

"Fuck."

"Yeah, lots of fucking," Kurt breathes, his hand snaking down to wrap around Blaine so he can match him stroke for stroke. "I want to sit in your lap and ride you. I want to feel you deep inside me Blaine, tearing me open, making me yours."

"Oh god..._Kurt." _

"I want you to fuck me hard, Blaine. Bite me, mark me...fuck...take me Blaine, oh fuck. Fuck..."

"Yes." Blaine shifts closer, their knuckles knocking together, as they jerk one another, desperately close to the edge.

"Your cock, in me."

"Holy shit."

"I want you to eat your come from my ass," Kurt gasps, and then comes hard all over their hands and Blaine's cock.

He wastes no time, moving down to lick over the head of Blaine's cock. "Come on my face," he commands, and Blaine does just that, gasping and shuddering until he feels completely spent, digging his fingers into Kurt's shoulder.

He falls onto his back, and Kurt hovers over him, looking very pleased with himself, his lips still glistening a pearly white. "I love you, fiancé"

Blaine makes some kind of noise and grins, his eyes partially closed. He pulls Kurt down into a lazy, slow kiss, and then just holds him in his arms.

"I can't quite believe everything that's happened in like, the last hour. Really."

"I know." A giggle bubbles up inside of Kurt, and he does nothing to stop it, just laughs helplessly, pleased when Blaine joins in. "I proposed to you in the middle of a thunderstorm."

"To be honest, I'm just grateful you didn't murder me for suggesting we walk."

"Fifteen..."

"Blocks, I know, but it's a walk you'll always remember," Blaine points out. "Plus everything that's happened since. Who knew? When we woke up this morning, who knew that this was how today would unfold?"

"I certainly didn't," Kurt says, as he thinks about it. "And I sure as hell didn't think that when we did get engaged, we'd celebrate by frantically jerking each other off on a pile of soaking wet clothes."

Blaine laughs. "Aw, Kurt, dad is gonna cry so hard when we tell him."

"That I talk dirty to you while we give each other hand jobs? I'd rather not mention it."

"Very funny."

"Did you want to call him?"

Blaine furrows his brow and thinks. "Um..."

"Or do you want to celebrate tonight, just us, and call him in the morning?"

"Yeah," Blaine says happily. "Do you think that's okay? It's just...I want to just be with you right now. We can take a bath and then...y'know, you kinda made some promises back there and..."

"All in good time, puppy."

"As long as dad is the first to know."

"He will be," Kurt reassures, then shivers and moves closer. "Yeah, a hot bath sounds pretty good right now."

* * *

><p>"I'm always the little spoon," Blaine moans, when he walks into the bathroom and finds Kurt already settled under the water.<p>

"You _are _little. Small yet perfectly formed." He grins, and watches as Blaine takes off his underwear, already feeling the stirring of arousal again. "Anyway, I proposed, so shut up and take what you're offered."

"You proposing does not give you the right to get your own way," Blaine grumbles affectionately, as he climbs in the bath.

"No, but being Kurt Hummel does."

Blaine laughs and settles back against his chest, his head resting on his shoulder. "That'll be pretty cool, won't it? When we're Kurt and Blaine Hummel."

"Oh. You want that? You want my name?"

"You don't want me to have your name?"

"It's not that. I just thought with your dad and everything, that you'd want to hang onto that. I mean, if you want to hyphenate, or keep your own...I'm good."

Blaine thinks, but not for long. His mind has been made up for years already. "Nope. I want to be a Hummel. I want our kids to be Hummel's. I did kinda think that we might like to add Anderson into their names in some way, but we don't have to. I'll always have him in my heart anyway."

"We can do that," Kurt agrees. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"Okay. Well, I'm not telling your mom. You can."

"Fine," Blaine says, knowing full well he'll back out and ask Burt to do it instead.

"But we don't have to rush to get married anyway," Kurt says, leaning down to kiss at Blaine's neck. "I mean, you'll probably want to graduate and stuff first, so..."

"I'm going to get a job."

"Huh?"

"After summer, when the new semester starts, I'm going to get a job and start saving again. Whether it's for babies, or a house, or a wedding doesn't matter."

"But it's your third year," Kurt points out. "It's gonna be intense."

"I'll manage. You know, you work long hours, and there's times when it's just me here, watching netflix or whatever. I might as well work."

"As long as you're not doing it because you feel like you should, because it doesn't matter, you know that? The money doesn't matter."

"I know, but I want to."

Kurt shrugs. "Okay."

"You're funny."

"Why?"

"That's two things I've just told you that I want to do, and there's no resistance. Usually you'd argue with me for days."

"Blaine, you could tell me you want to become a Leprechaun right now, and I'd let you. I'm so freakin happy."

"I love happy Kurt."

"I'm um...I'm sorry about earlier though, on the rug. I was planning that we'd make love really slowly and sweetly, and instead it was..."

"Amazing. We're allowed to celebrate however we choose," Blaine declares. "Anyway. I told you I wanted to get wild."

"Hmm."

"That's not exactly wild, I know," he says quietly, but Kurt digs him in the shoulder.

"Shut up! That was hot. You are hot."

"We should go out tomorrow, to celebrate. We could ask Santana and her roommates, my friends, yours...an impromptu engagement party for an impromptu engagement."

"Yeah? You want to do that? Have a couple of drinks?"

"No." Blaine sits up, turning around to face him. "I want us to get stupidly drunk and dance the night away. We can hit a few clubs and..."

"Oh Blaine, no. Please."

"It'll be fun."

Kurt shakes his head, looking nervous. "Blaine, we haven't been to a club since that time at Scream, and..."

"And we're so much stronger now than we were then."

"But what if we see anyone I used to know?"

"That was so long ago, and if we do, then we proudly tell them we're engaged, and then we hit the dancefloor together. Come on, please? We have to break that barrier at some point, right?"

"Blaine, you don't need to prove anything to me," Kurt says softly. "I love you just as you are, and if your idea of being wild doesn't match with other people's, then who cares? To be honest, if I came home to find you dressed in bondage gear and holding a whip, I'd probably run away, because that's not the Blaine I want at all."

"I know that, I do," Blaine reassures. "It's more like, right now, I feel as if we could conquer the entire world together, and I want to celebrate that with you and our friends. I used to love going out dancing with you, and we had that really bad experience, which I don't want to be our last memory of clubbing in New York."

"Okay," Kurt says warily. "If you're sure, but if you're upset or not enjoying it or whatever, you have to tell me, or I'll never give you a blow job ever again."

"Deal." Blaine settles down again, feeling smug. "Oh, and Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna be a Leprechaun."

* * *

><p>Kurt finishes turning out the lights, and walks into the bedroom, groaning when he sees Blaine lying in the middle of the bed with his eyes closed. "Don't fall asleep on me, please!"<p>

"I'm not."

"Good." He turns away, looking in the mirror to rub moisturiser on his face.

"I'm ready."

"Huh?"

"Hop on, tiger."

Kurt turns around and gasps. Blaine lies there, the covers pooled at his ankles. One hand rests behind his head, the other is slowly stroking his hard on, as he watches a naked Kurt stand up with a smile. "Oh my god!"

"I mean it. You said you wanted to ride me."

"I also said I wanted you to rim me," Kurt points out, as he crawls across the bed to drape himself over Blaine.

"Bring it."

He spins around, and Blaine wastes no time in pulling him back tight against his face, his tongue pushing insistently at his entrance.

"Oh fuck that's...yeah," Kurt moans, then takes Blaine's cock in his mouth. He hums appreciatively at the feel of Blaine's tongue working inside of him, the little sparks of pleasure it brings that shoot through him, making every nerve in his body tingle, and when Blaine pulls in a gasp of breath, the brief second of cold air on his wet skin feels divine. He teases and teases Blaine, sucking hard then soft, fast then slow. He runs his tongue into his slit, then all the way down his length, before coming back up and sucking lightly on the head, and trying not to smile at the sight of Blaine's thighs starting to quiver.

When Blaine slides two fingers in alongside his tongue, Kurt tenses momentarily, then relaxes around him once more. It's been a long time, but he is more than ready for Blaine to be inside him again, and eventually he has to still his hand and turn around to face him. "Please," he says, already broken from the force of his longing. "Please just take me."

"Yes." Blaine moans soft and low in his throat, as Kurt sinks slowly down around him, until he comes to rest, his hands placed firmly on Blaine's chest.

"We're totally engaged," he says, when Blaine rubs his hands up his thighs and he notices the ring. "That's hot."

"And you say I'm random," Blaine murmurs, and then he sits, using one arm to brace them both on the bed, the other to wrap tight around Kurt's waist. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Kurt whispers, then draws him into a long kiss, which doesn't even break when Blaine starts to move, riding up into him over and over again.

"Oh god, Kurt, feels so good," Blaine moans, and Kurt captures his lips again before moving to suck a hickey high on his neck. "Feeling you around me...fuck..."

"Come on Blaine," Kurt gasps, throwing his head back for Blaine's teeth to scrape over his throat. "Take me. Harder. Go on."

"Kurt. Yes."

"Fuck me, Blaine."

"Kurt." Blaine gasps, then figures that now is as good a time as any to experiment with being wild. "Gonna fuck you so hard."

"Yes."

"Want you to feel me tomorrow, Kurt. Fuck...want you to beg me for more."

He thrusts harder and deeper, tearing into Kurt, who bows his head onto his shoulder and whimpers in pleasure. "Fuck me so hard."

"Yeah. You love feeling my cock inside you, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"Want me to come in you? Want to feel my tongue there?"

"You know...fuck, fuck!"

Kurt is desperate for release, but not yet, not now. He somehow manages to hold off for Blaine to come first, crying out loudly as he does so. He falls back weakly on the bed, and then seems to gather himself, directing Kurt to turn around again, so he can lick eagerly at his hole, wide open and glistening.

Kurt reaches for his cock, but Blaine is there already, and he comes quickly, clenching around Blaine's tongue and pushing back hard against his face. "Oh God, Blaine," he moans, panting hard. "Blaine."

"Can't breathe."

Kurt laughs at the muffled sound of Blaine's voice, and rolls off him, wiping at his chest with tissues before resting his head there.

"Fiancé."

One word from Blaine, which has Kurt curling even tighter against him, his cheeks flushed pink with pleasure at being engaged, as well as from their exertions. "Sounds good, doesn't it?"

"Very. Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you, for asking me. You've made me the happiest person in the entire world, I hope you know that."

"I'm right there with you," Kurt assures, kissing his chest again. "And trust me, asking you to marry me was my absolute pleasure."


	23. Chapter 23

Blaine can feel the pressure of the man's foot pressing down on his chest, but he can't see his face. He's trying to shout, but he can't breathe, and every time he manages to make a sound the foot just presses down harder. He knows what the man wants. He wants his family. He wants to take what is his, and he won't let him. With one almighty push he rises up, gasping for breath, as the man topples backward and out of sight.

"Hey!" Kurt sits, rubbing small circles on Blaine's back, who is clutching his knees and rocking back and forth. "Hey, Blaine, sweetie? You okay?"

"Huh?" He turns to look at Kurt, as if only suddenly waking up. His eyes are wide and fearful in the gloom, and Kurt can see that his hair is damp, curling against his sweaty forehead.

"You were yelling."

"Oh. Yeah. I uh..." he rubs at his eyes, then looks around. "I had a bad dream, I guess."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Sorry for waking you."

"Don't worry about me." Kurt smiles, and gives his cheek a kiss, then holds his left hand for them both to see the ring.

"What time is it?"

"Just after five."

"On a Saturday? Ugh. Seriously, I'm sorry for waking you up like that."

"Blaine, it's fine. You want some coffee?"

"Actually, I might just get some water and try to sleep some more."

"Okay."

But sleep proves elusive to them both. Kurt lies on his front, and tries really, really hard not to yell at Blaine, who rolls this way and that, and can't seem to settle at all. He asks several times if he's okay, and he insists he's fine. In the end, Kurt figures that he'll talk when he's ready, if he wants to talk at all.

The truth is, Blaine is not fine, but he's not about to ruin their first day as an engaged couple by telling Kurt that. The voice he had heard in his dream had been Spencer's, and he's annoyed at himself for letting him into his subconscious. He vows to block it out and not focus on the dream at all, only right now, when he's supposed to be sleeping, it seems to be all he can think about.

"Do you want to call dad?" Kurt asks eventually, and Blaine seizes the chance for a distraction.

"Can we? Isn't it a little early?"

"It's six now. Besides, he'll forgive us once he knows why we're calling."

"Yeah!" Blaine grabs his phone and starts to dial, setting it on speaker.

"What's wrong?" Burt booms, as soon as he picks up. "Whatever it is, I'm coming now."

"No, hold up," Blaine says, then gives Kurt a nod.

"We're engaged!" they both yell, then dissolve into fits of laughter.

"Huh? What? What did you...?"

"We're engaged," they repeat, and then start talking over each other.

"I proposed! And-"

"Kurt asked me to marry him! It was so-"

"It was in the middle of this thunderstorm and I didn't plan it like that but-"

"Romantic. Just amazing."

"It just happened. It was perfect, dad, perfect."

"It was totally perfect," Blaine sighs. "I said yes."

"He said yes."

"Well I figured that!" Burt cries happily. "Oh boys! My boys! You're gonna get married! Married! My boys! Oh!"

Kurt rolls his eyes at Blaine, but he smiles affectionately. "Dad? Are you crying?"

"Of course I'm crying!" Burt exclaims. "And I'll bet you did when you asked him, so don't even start."

"He cried loads," Blaine says smugly. "And so did I."

"Well that's a given, with you," Burt laughs.

"You'll have two Hummel boys," Kurt says, squeezing Blaine's hand excitedly.

"I already do."

"No, my name," Blaine says as calmly as he can. "I'm going to take Kurt's. Yours. I'll be a Hummel."

There is a loud crash, which could possibly be Burt falling out of bed, or sitting up too fast and banging his head on the lamp, but he recovers quickly. "Say what now?"

"Is that okay? I'd like to, and Kurt is happy, but if you..."

"You'll be a Hummel!" Burt cries happily. "Blaine! My son, if that's what you want I would be honored. Totally, completely and utterly honored. Oh boys I am so...so happy. Just so happy. This is...wonderful. Just amazing. I...oh, please come home so I can hug you."

Kurt laughs. "Sure."

"Yes?"

"I could take Friday off, actually. We could fly down Thursday night?"

Both Blaine and Burt suddenly become over excited children, screeching happily, and Blaine actually claps his hands together. "Yes! Yes, let's do that!"

"Okay, okay!" Kurt laughs again. "If you make the coffee I'll consider it."

"On it!" Blaine cries, and he rolls out of bed onto the floor, and then runs to the kitchen.

"Kurt," Burt sighs, when Blaine has gone. "Can you believe it?"

"Not really." He stops, grinning as he takes the phone off speaker and holds it to his ear. "I mean I can, because it happened, but I keep looking at him and wondering why he would ever want to marry me, how I got so lucky."

"You two are meant to be," Burt says firmly. "And you love him just as much as he loves you."

"True."

"Are you both doing okay?"

"Right now? Yes, but Blaine had a nightmare which woke both of us up. He was really yelling."

"Huh. Has he had them before? Since Spencer?"

"Nope. Well, if he has, it didn't wake me. He seems to be over it now that we've called you."

"I'll wake Angie in a minute, Blaine can tell her the happy news."

"Is she okay?"

"I think so, actually. We went to Baltimore on Tuesday, picked up the rest of her stuff."

"You didn't say."

"No, well, I didn't want Blaine to know."

"We could have come and met you."

"Blaine had finals, and anyway, I don't want either of you anywhere where he could see you or get to you. Blaine would never survive, and you'd be serving a life sentence for murder."

"True."

"We got in and out while the house was empty anyway," Burt tells him. "So for now she has all her stuff in storage and is looking at apartments."

"In Lima?"

"Yeah, I mean, she's working here now, and...I don't know. We like spending time together, you know?"

"As in?"

"As in friendship, Kurt. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?"

"No, it's not," Kurt protests. "Really. That's good. I'm glad you have each other. As friends."

"There is no romance and there never will be," Burt snaps, and Kurt knows when to shut up.

"No. Good. Sorry."

Luckily Blaine returns, and after arrangements are made for their visit, Burt booms down the hallway for Angie to come to the phone.

"Blaine? Are you okay?"

"Hi mom, yeah uh...actually we were calling to tell you, that um...Kurt and I got engaged."

"What? Blaine, that's wonderful! Congratulations to both of you."

Her reaction is quieter than Burt's, but it's still warm, and Blaine feels happy to hear the pride in her voice.

"Have you set a date?"

"Oh, no. We're just kinda...enjoying the moment, acting like lovesick fools," he admits with a laugh. "When the novelty has worn off a bit, we might think about it some more."

"Okay."

"We're coming home on Thursday," he suddenly remembers. "For the weekend. Well actually, I'll probably stay for a while when Kurt comes back for work."

"It'll be nice to have some time with you," Angie says with a smile. "Before I move out."

"You're moving?"

"I'm looking at apartments."

"I see." Blaine can't help but feel happy, having been concerned that she would end up living with his dad on a permanent basis. "Well, yeah, it'll be fun."

"I'm getting good at cards though," she warns Blaine, who laughs.

"Sure, whatever. You still won't win."

"Wait and see, Blaine," she teases. "Wait and see."

* * *

><p>In the end, the whole of Kurt and Blaine's day is spent telling people their news, either over the phone or face to face. Brian politely turns down their offer of a night out, but insists on taking them for lunch to celebrate, and he also presses a hundred dollars into Kurt's hand to buy champagne on him.<p>

"No, really..."

"Kurt. Take it. Please. I want you to. Now go, get ready for your party."

They are both overwhelmed, when they arrive at the downtown cocktail bar Santana suggested, to find nearly all of their New York friends from work and college, plus Mike and Tina, who Santana had tracked down on Facebook.

"Oh my God!" Blaine cries, hugging Mike tight. "You came all this way!"

"You're kinda worth it," Mike tells him, then pulls Kurt into a hug as well. "And so are you."

"Well thank you." Kurt grins, happy to see so many people he loves, all taking over one bar to celebrate with them. "This is just amazing."

"Momma has a drink for her baby!" Santana calls, as she pushes her way through the crowd to Blaine. "Here you go, cutie pie. Kurt, I got you one too."

"I escaped a pet name," he tells Tina and Mike smugly. "I also escaped that," he says, watching as she tries to fix Blaine's hair for him. "Thank God."

Both Kurt and Blaine get very drunk very quickly, which is really no surprise, given how many people are ready to buy them drinks. By the time Kate, Kurt's boss, arrives at their table with a bottle of champagne, the whole room is spinning for both of them, and all filters are off.

"So," Kate says, smiling at Blaine, whom she totally adores. "What's it like, being engaged to New York's hottest runway writer?"

"Great." Blaine gives a sloppy grin, and rests his hand on Kurt's thigh. "We had loads of sex last night."

"Oh! Gosh. Well that's...that's very nice," Kate says, hiding her smirk. "I'm happy for you."

"Naked sex."

"Good."

"Loads."

"Yes. Lovely. So. I'd better..." and she dashes away, to tell Oliver from accounting that Kurt and his drunken fiance are hilarious.

"I've never seen them this drunk," Brandon tells Mike and Tina. "I mean, they'll usually have a couple, but wow, they're completely wasted."

"I think it was well needed after their recent stresses," Mike observes, watching as Kurt leans across and starts sucking on Blaine's neck. "Plus they're celebrating."

"I think they did that last night too," Tina laughs. "Did you see the hickey Blaine has?"

"We should totally go to a club," Kurt says, as he staggers into Santana's arms. Delighted to see him so happy and affectionate, she hugs him tightly and kisses his cheek.

"Little cupcake can do whatever he wants."

"Fuck off."

"Oh."

"Tana?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you."

"I know you do." She quickly orders everyone to drink up, and the large group heads out into the night.

Some of Blaine's friends drift off- the nerdiest ones, as Kurt calls them- but Blaine is too drunk and too in love with Kurt to care. "Down here," he says, pulling him into an alleyway, where he pins him up against the wall. "Tiger tiger burning bright," he giggles, because in his drunken state, Kurt's eyes seem to shine. "Gonna just kiss you a little bit, okay?"

"No, not okay!" Tina screeches, hauling them both back out onto the street. "We are not about to lose you, it's your engagement party after all, now come on."

Kurt clings to Blaine's hand when they enter the club. He knows every gay haunt the city has to offer, and the chances are, that someone somewhere will recognize him, and even though Blaine says it doesn't matter, he's still worried.

"Oh holy shit!" he cries in despair, because it's happened far sooner that he thought.

"What?"

"We haven't even got a drink yet. C'mon Blaine, we're going home."

"Who? What?" Blaine staggers around in a circle, but he can't see anything other than their group, but then Santana suddenly notices where Kurt is looking, and even in the dim lights and with her dark skin, Blaine notices she turns pale.

"Kurt, we'll go," she says, taking him by the arm. "It's okay, really, we'll just go."

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" Blaine yells, and Kurt and Santana push him into a corner, where they can't be overheard.

"Um...by the bar..." Kurt says, swallowing nervously. "Jeremy."

"What?" Blaine pushes Kurt to one side. There, by the bar and nursing a beer, sits a man with neat gray hair. He is slightly overweight, middle aged spread, as Kurt would call it, and he's dressed far younger than he can get away with. He clearly hasn't noticed them, but he does seem to be on the lookout for someone or something, because Blaine can see him eyeing up Matty and Nico from his Astrophysics class, and Blaine knows full well he'll have no luck there.

"Let's go say hi."

"What? Blaine, are you out of your mind?" Kurt screeches, while Santana reels backward in surprise. "I haven't seen him for so long! I can't. No. I just can't. We'll go."

"No we won't. I like it here, and I want to dance with you. You're right. You haven't seen him in so long, and you've got the upper hand here, haven't you? You're not caught off guard like last time, the ball's in your..."

"Court," Santana finishes for him.

"Court. Yes, thank you. Besides, we're really drink. It'll be fun."

"Drunk."

"That, yes, thank you, love of my life."

"I said that," Santana tells him. "Not Kurt."

"And you're the love of my life," Blaine declares, giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He turns unsteadily, grabbing Kurt's hand, and steering him toward the bar.

Jeremy looks up in surprise, and does a double take. "Kurt?" he asks, his face lighting up. "Kurt!" He stands, and makes to hug him, but then thinks better of it and offers his hand instead, which is all sorts of awkward, as Kurt has to let go of Blaine to shake it, and then doesn't seem to know what to say or do. He suddenly feels very sober and very shaken, because memories he had worked so hard to erase are now coming flooding back, and he just wants to run.

"Hi," he says quietly. "How are you?"

"Good," Jeremy says, though no one is convinced. "Yeah. You?"

"Um, great, actually," Kurt says, as it suddenly hits him. He is great. His life is amazing now, and he can do this. He can stand with Blaine by his side, and look into his past, because that's what it is, past.

"I just got engaged, actually," he continues, turning to beam at Blaine. "Jeremy, this is my fiance, Blaine Anderson."

"Oh." He's taken by surprise, but still gives Blaine a warm smile and shakes his hand politely. "Nice to meet you, Blaine. And congratulations."

"Thanks," Kurt says, fumbling for Blaine's fingers and giving them a squeeze.

"So what are you doing with yourself?"

"Working," Kurt says with a smile. "I'm a writer for Marie Claire. Blaine is at NYU, studying Mechanical Engineering."

"Oh wow." Jeremy gives a laugh, but it's kind, not mocking. "Quite the power couple. I'm happy for you," he tells Kurt sincerely. "And Blaine, I assume you know Professor Scarbo?"

"Do I?" he asks Kurt, who nods. "Yes I do," he then informs Jeremy. "I am so incredibly drunk right now."

Jeremy really does laugh at this, and claps a hand on his shoulder. "Well you have reason to celebrate, I guess, getting engaged to Kurt."

"We had lots of sex."

"Okay!" Santana calls, coming to the rescue. "Let's go find you some water." She manhandles Blaine away from them, and up to the other end of the bar, where she can still see Kurt, but where Blaine can't be heard, and Jeremy turns back to the conversation.

"He's very sweet."

"Yeah. He really is."

"So is he the reason that you and I..."

"Yes," Kurt admits. "I met him when I was visiting dad for a weekend. It took me over a year to get my shit together, but I knew I loved him, I couldn't stay away."

"I'm happy you've found love," Jeremy says. "Though I wish it had been me. We could've been really great together, you and I."

"No we couldn't," Kurt says gently. "You're a good man, Jeremy, I'm sure of it, but we met at the wrong time, and brought out the worst in each other. We both deserved better."

"You're right, I guess," he agrees sadly. "And I'm glad one of us got it."

"You will too, one day."

"I hope so." He looks down, and for a moment Kurt fears he might cry, but then he looks up again and offers his hand. "Well, goodbye."

"You don't have to leave on my account."

"I do. It's not fair for you two to be expected to celebrate your engagement with me sitting in the corner all night. It was good to see you again though, Kurt, and I wish you and Blaine every happiness together."

Blaine reappears once he's left, handing Kurt a whiskey and soda. "You okay?"

He sighs, and takes a large gulp of his drink. "Yeah. Actually, I think I am."

"I wanted to hate him," Blaine admits. "But he seems like a nice guy. Just a little out of place sitting in a club like this."

"He is nice," Kurt agrees. "Lonely and confused, but nice. I think the people we were when we knew each other are not the people we really are inside. We've both changed."

"I like this Kurt," Blaine says, and he suddenly remembers they're in a gay club, and if he wants to sloppily make out with his fiance, then he can.

Though surprised, and still holding his glass that is now awkwardly wedged between them, Kurt kisses back eagerly, even letting his free hand slide slightly below the waistband of Blaine's pants. "I like this Blaine, too," he says when they part, breathless with exhilaration.

"Wanna dance?"

"Sure."

All the dancing and all the drinking and all the making out, of which there is lots, means that both Kurt and Blaine end up horny and desperate for the bathroom, and eventually Kurt has to break away from Blaine to weave unsteadily across the club, while Blaine dances with Tina instead.

His head is swimming, the room spinning, and Blaine feels on top of the world. A very smart idea suddenly occurs to him, and he stops twirling Tina and follows Kurt instead, pushing his way into the bathroom and past the line.

"Tiger?"

"Oh my god," comes the mortified moan. "Blaine, no."

"Let me in."

"No!"

"Wanna talk to you."

"Then hold up and wait until I'm done."

Blaine pouts against the wall, and eventually Kurt emerges, giving him a side-eye as he goes to wash his hands. "What is it?"

"I wanna suck you off."

Kurt hangs his head, torn between laughing loudly, dying of embarrassment, or backing Blaine right back into the stall. In the end, he doesn't get to decide, because Blaine does it for him, pulling him back from the sink and kissing him hard, bypassing the line once again, and pushing them into a recently vacated stall, locking the door.

"Blaine!" Kurt hisses, shocked yet completely turned on. "You can't! Everyone will know what we're doing in here!"

"So? I wanna suck your cock," he whispers into Kurt's ear, who bites back a moan at the feel of Blaine rubbing his crotch. "Come in my mouth, Kurt. Down my throat."

"Oh fuck," Kurt breathes, and then just watches as Blaine sinks to his knees on the bathroom floor, and pulls him from his underwear, immediately taking him deep.

He's too drunk to stay quiet, and he ends up biting on his own fist while he whimpers. He's also aware that the club they're in is not seedy like Scandals back in Lima, and it's hardly appropriate for them to be doing what they're doing, but he doesn't care.

The bathroom isn't big, just three stalls and a row of urinals, and eventually, mutterings start up. "Hey! C'mon!" a voice calls from outside. "Go home, get a room or something!"

"Fuck off!" Kurt yells, feeling rebellious, and Blaine lifts his head.

"Yeah! Fuck off! He's getting his dick sucked." Pleased with himself, he grins up at Kurt, before returning to the task in hand. It's not long before Kurt is pushing himself as far into Blaine's mouth as he can, and Blaine swallows eagerly, as his hot come spurts down his throat.

"Oh my god, Blaine," Kurt groans, in a moment of sobriety. "You just..."

Blaine straightens up, kissing him long and slow. "Told you I was wild."

Kurt watches him as they emerge from the stall, and Blaine quickly washes his hands and fixes his hair, but there is no hint of him having done this to please Kurt, or prove a point, more like he just wanted to let go and have some fun, and once they're back in the club, Kurt pins him to the wall and kisses him again. "I love you so much," he says, letting his thumb graze over his cheek. "You are just amazing."

"Where the hell have you two been?" Santana demands, and Kurt turns around and offers a dazzling grin.

"Busy."

"I sucked him off in the bathroom," Blaine informs her, and Santana rolls her eyes.

"Of course you did."

"No, I really did."

She stops, turning to Kurt, who shrugs. "Yeah, he really did."

Santana rests a hand on Blaine's forehead, and pretends to take his pulse. "Who are you and what have you done with Blaine Anderson?"

"Very funny. Is there more to drink?"

"Not for you, no," Santana snaps, then guides them both back to the dance floor.

They don't leave until past three in the morning, when they wave Tina and Mike off in a cab, and Kurt's work colleagues in another, before they fall in step with Santana and her roommates, staggering along the street as they head home.

"Oh!" Blaine stops when he sees someone he knows, and the group wait for him while he walks up to the girl, who is stood outside another club. "You there!" he calls loudly. "You, in the distance!"

"Excuse me?"

"You, over there!"

The small girl frowns, her dark eyes narrowing. "I'm standing right in front of you."

"Huh?" Blaine looks confused for a moment, then refocuses. "Oh. Not in the distance. Just small. Hello."

"Hello, Blaine."

"Hello," he says again. "Uh..."

"Rachel."

"Rachel! Yes, that's the one. We were in Glee club together."

"We were," she says tightly. "So are you visiting? Or..."

"I live here," Blaine says, as if it's a surprise to him too. "I go to NYU."

"Oh. I see."

"Gonna be a spaceman."

"Right."

"You?"

"I'm at Tisch," Rachel says with a polite smile. "Musical theatre, you know."

"Good. Well, I have to go and have loads of sex with my fiance," Blaine slurs, waving to Kurt who waves back. "It was good to see you," he adds.

"You too," Rachel says, though she doesn't mean it at all.

"Sorry, sorry." The young man emerges from the club, pulling his jacket on. "The line for the bathroom was really long. Are you okay?"

"Yes," Rachel says, as they start to walk. "Though you missed a very drunk Blaine Anderson from high school."

Jackson stops dead, searching up and down the street. "What? Where? What did you...? Where is he? Where did he go?"

"Calm down. He left," Rachel says primly. "After telling me he needed to go and have sex with his fiance."

"His what?" Jackson reels as if slapped. "He's...engaged?"

"I guess so." Rachel shrugs. "How dumb is that? He's like...twenty. What's up with you, anyway? You two went out, what, three times? You didn't even kiss the guy, and that was three years ago."

"I know," Jackson says, trying to make light of the situation. "I just wanted to say hi."

He doesn't add that he's purposely kept away all these years for his own sanity, because he knows that to hear that Blaine was still with Kurt, would shatter him completely. "So did you see his fiance?" he asks airily.

"Yeah, it was that jerk who kept showing up and kissing him after competitions," Rachel snaps. "The really arrogant one."

And simmering with bitterness and resentment, Jackson walks on.

* * *

><p>"I wonder if Brian will be awake?" Kurt muses, as they near their building. "I wonder if Brian wants pizza?"<p>

"Huh?"

Kurt looks over his shoulder, to see Blaine halfway through the last slice of pizza, the empty box dangling from his hand. "Oh."

"Brian," Blaine says, through a mouthful of pepperoni and mushroom. "Yeah, he'll be awake."

"Let's knock on his door."

Surprisingly, Brian is awake, but that's only because he heard Kurt and Blaine singing Consider Yourself from Oliver, very loudly and drunkenly, as they staggered toward his door. Laughing, he lets them into his apartment, just managing to catch Kurt before he falls and headbutts the coffee table.

"Hey!" Blaine exclaims, as he weaves around the apartment. "Your house is just like ours, only different...different..."

"Furnishings?"

"Yeah! Hey, I love you Brian."

"Thank you, Blaine, I love you too," Brian says, filling two glasses with water. "Might I suggest you two drink these? And take some Advil in preparation for the hangover that's going to hit when you wake?"

"Can't do that, Bri," Kurt slurs, from where he lies on the couch. "Gotta have sex."

"Not right there you don't," Brian laughs, making Kurt sit up to drink. "Have your water and then go home to get some sleep."

"I sucked Kurt off in a club!" Blaine suddenly remembers, not noticing the shock on Brian's face.

"Right. Well. That's..."

"In the bathroom. Was good, wasn't it, Tiger?"

"Totally."

"You had a good night then?"

"The total bestest," Kurt slurs, trying to remain upright before he gives in and lies down again. "I love being engaged to my puppy."

"Brian?"

"Yes Blaine?"

"Why are you wearing pajamas?"

"Because it's four thirty in the morning."

"Oh. Brian?"

"Yes, Blaine?"

"I am so drink."

"Drunk and yes, Blaine, I noticed."

Kurt just lies on the couch, giggling uncontrollably at how funny his drunken fiance is, watching as he staggers around.

"Brian?"

"Yes, Blaine?"

"Going to bed now. Night."

"Blaine, that's my bedroom," Brian laughs.

"Oh."

Undeterred, Blaine staggers back across the living room, pulling Kurt to his feet on the way. "Gonna sleep in here then," he declares, opening the door to the guest room. "After we have sex."

"My dear friends, if you two are anywhere near capable of having sex, I will pay you both a million bucks." Realizing they're clearly now staying for the rest of the night, he fills the two glasses again, and gently pushes open the guest room door, to find Blaine and Kurt already passed out, with Kurt snoring loudly. "For when you wake," he whispers, setting the water on the nightstand. "You crazy, drunken fools."


	24. Chapter 24

Blaine sits up, and clutches his head when a sharp, stabbing pain tears through it. He retches, but manages to keep everything down, and then he spots the glass of water. After gulping it down, he looks around and realizes he has no clue where he is.

"Kurt," he rasps, through a mouth that feels as though it's full of carpet. "Kurt!"

"Dying," comes the response.

"Kurt, I don't know where we are."

"Huh?"

Kurt notices then, that the sheets don't smell of their usual detergent, and cracking one eye open he sees they're pale blue, and not gray like the ones currently on their bed. When he sits, still only viewing the world through one eye, he gulps back the water Blaine offers and then looks around.

"Well where the fuck are we then? Santana's?"

"No, we can't be. They went home. We went home. I remember eating pizza as we walked and..."

"Oh. Brian," Kurt suddenly remembers. "We decided to visit Brian. Shit."

"Are we in his apartment?" Blaine whispers, completely horrified. "We just crashed here?"

Kurt climbs out of bed, disgusted that he's still wearing his clothes from the night before. It's been ages since he's been too drunk to even remove his shoes. Pulling open the bedroom door, he steps into the living room with Blaine behind him, who is still unsteady on his feet, and clutching the walls for support. The sound of movement from the kitchen draws them there, and sure enough, Brian turns around with a smile.

"They live! How's the head?"

"Brian, we are so sorry," Blaine whispers, falling into a chair. "So sorry. We didn't mean to crash here."

"Don't worry about it," Brian says lightly. "You were both so funny."

"We didn't mean to wake you up," Kurt offers, and Brian laughs.

"You were banging on my door. Anyway, like I said, don't worry about it. I'm making some toast, do you want some?"

Blaine heaves again, and Kurt turns away. "No, no thanks," he says. "I think we're just gonna go home and sleep some more."

"I'm still so sorry," says Blaine, who is utterly mortified. "I have never, ever been that drunk and I just...I'm so sorry."

"Blaine look, I know I'm old, and you two are not, but I can still remember what it was like to have a night out like that. You deserved to have fun to celebrate your engagement, and if what you two were telling me last night was anything to go by, you did. If I wasn't prepared to see you at four this morning, then I wouldn't have let you in. Please don't worry."

"We did have fun," Kurt agrees, his hand rubbing over Blaine's shoulder. "We danced, and..."

"Oh my god."

Blaine lifts his head, a look of total shock and horror on his face as it comes back to him, and from the smug smirk on Kurt's face, he knows he's remembered too.

"Blaine, don't worry about it," Brian says lightly. "We've all done stupid stuff when we're drunk."

"How do you know what I'm talking about?" he cries desperately.

"You told me. Quite proudly."

"Oh god. Oh god. I just...oh no. Oh my god."

He's still moaning and wailing when they return to their own apartment, despite Brian's reassurances, and he changes wearily into his pajamas and crawls under the covers. Kurt changes quickly and joins him, spooning around him and kissing his neck. "Come on, don't be sad."

"I'm not sad. Just embarrassed. I don't regret it though."

"No?"

Blaine turns, kissing him lovingly. "I gave my hot fiancé a blow job. Why would I ever regret that?"

"You wanna know something?"

"Sure."

Kurt looks down, playing with the buttons on Blaine's pajama top. "It was completely hot, and I had a blast last night, but you know what makes it so good? It's that we don't go out like that all the time, that you don't usually behave like that. To see you so completely reckless was awesome, and totally hot, and I realized something."

"Yeah?"

"I wouldn't want you any other way than how you are. I wouldn't want you to be like that all the time, because then it wouldn't be fun any more. I know it led to our biggest fight, but I still remember when you told me I was your fantasy."

"Kurt. I don't..."

"No, hear me out. That's the hottest thing you've ever said to me, you know?"

"Oh please. It was dumb."

"No, it wasn't," Kurt insists, and he looks up, holding eye contact. "I realized last night that you're mine. My fantasy. You're all I ever want in my bed. Or on the floor, against the wall...whatever."

"See, that kind of talk would definitely lead to sex right now if I didn't feel like death."

Kurt laughs, turning on his back for Blaine to rest on his chest. "I'll settle for cuddles."

"You're still my fantasy," Blaine murmurs, as he closes his eyes. "You always will be, and I love you for saying that."

Kurt kisses into his hair. "I love you too."

* * *

><p>It takes Blaine three days to recover from his night of excess, and four days to be able to face Santana again. He eventually caves and meets her for lunch, after she threatens bodily harm, and they head to their favorite café near Kurt's work.<p>

"Seriously, it was hilarious. I don't know what you're still worked up about it for."

"I'm not worked up," Blaine says lightly, trying to hide his blush.

"You are, I can tell because your hair is plastered to your head. On good days we see some wave to it, on excellent ones, we even see a little bit of movement."

"Hey, you wanna hear something funny?" Blaine asks, quickly changing the subject.

"Sure."

"The night Kurt and I got engaged, I had a nightmare and woke up screaming. I've had them every night since. Even Sunday, when we got back to the apartment and went back to sleep, I had one then."

Santana stares, and stares some more. "Blaine, that's not funny. That's disturbing."

She can tell, from the way that Blaine looks down and fiddles with his napkin, that he's worried, but he was obviously hoping Santana would brush it off as nothing to worry about. "Oh, well...you know..."

"No, I don't know, but you're going to tell me. What does Kurt say?"

"Nothing. He sleeps like the dead. The first one I had woke him, but every one since he's slept through."

"And what are they like, the dreams? The same each time?"

"Kind of. I'm trapped. There's always a man trapping me, under his foot, against a wall...last night he had my face pushed down against the grass, but I think that's because I was sleeping on Kurt's hair."

"Go on."

"And I can hear him, but I can't see him. I want to see him, because I'm sure I know his voice. But anyway, he's always trying to take someone from me. Mom, Brian, you... last night he was trying to take Mike."

"Burt?"

"He hasn't gotten to him yet," Blaine says with a small smile. "That's why he's holding me down, because I'm trying to fight him."

"And the voice?"

Blaine keeps his eyes downcast, his voice low. "Spencer."

"I thought as much." Santana sighs. "Blaine, sweetie, you need to see a doctor."

"No I don't."

"You do. This is all related to the attack, and you need to talk it through with a therapist, maybe get some sleeping pills."

"The attack was ages ago."

"Two months is hardly ages, and anyway, stuff like this can happen years after such an event. Please, Blaine, talk to Kurt and get seen."

Blaine knows she's serious, because she calls him Blaine and not baby, but he's still not expecting tears to be shining in her eyes when he looks up. "Really, it's not that bad," he says, reaching across to hold her hand.

"Now I know why your hair is so tightly gelled."

"That's not... look, I'm going home tomorrow. A few weeks back in Ohio and I'll be fine, trust me."

"You still need to talk to Kurt."

"I'm not going to do that."

"Why?"

"I'm not a kid."

"Blaine..."

"No, hear me out. Since the attack, it's all been about me. I was the one who needed all the help, it was Kurt who had to wash me, dress me, wait for me to be ready for...stuff. I'm sick of everyone thinking I'm the weaker one. We're supposed to be equals, and right now, I feel about as equal as a lion and a tiny flea."

"Blaine, I don't think that's how Kurt sees you at all. He doesn't take care of anyone unless he wants to. He knows you're equals. Hell, you're the only person in the entire world that he lets do stuff for him, or take care of him. You're the only one he shows vulnerability to."

"I know he sees me as equal, it's the rest of the world that doesn't."

"Well I do, but what does it matter what other people think, anyway? You know the truth and that's what matters. You need to talk to him about this, Blaine, before it gets out of hand."

"Okay," he sighs. "I will. But don't you breathe a word until I'm ready."

Santana squeezes his hand, and signals to the waiter for their check."My lips are sealed."

* * *

><p>"Lovebirds!" Burt Hummel booms at the top of his voice, and all those waiting in arrivals at Columbus airport look around for the couple, astounded when the loud man rushes toward two young men, and scoops them up into one massive hug. "Ring!" he bellows over the top of their heads. "Blaine! I need to see it."<p>

Blaine laughs and holds his hand out, though Burt doesn't really know how to go about admiring a piece of jewellery. "Beautiful," he declares, and both Kurt and Blaine seem satisfied with that. "Oh, it is so good to have you both home," he says, kissing them both on the forehead. "So good."

"It's good to _be_ home," Kurt says, linking his arm through his dad's as they walk along. "Isn't that right Blaine?"

"Totally. Is mom not here?"

"At work until six," Burt tells him. "She couldn't get time off. But she'll be with us for dinner."

As always, Blaine falls dramatically over Bessie's hood, pressing his face against her and whispering sweet nothings, until Kurt pulls him away and gives him the keys. He practically cries with joy when he gets her out onto the highway, and Kurt finds himself dreaming of the future, when maybe they can all restore another car together.

"Dad," he asks casually, keeping one eye on Blaine. "Have you ever wanted to move?"

"As in, relocate?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"Closer to us."

Blaine's hands grip the steering wheel tightly, as he becomes desperate to hear the answer to this unexpected question.

"Well, that depends. I wouldn't move until I'd retired, and I wouldn't move to New York, no. Maybe closer, but not there."

"What if we weren't in New York though?"

"Where's all this going, Kurt?" Burt asks. "Am I on trial here? Is this some kind of test?"

"I'd like to know where it's going, too," Blaine interjects.

"I was just curious, that's all."

"Well I can tell you this; I'd love to live close to you again, but you two need to get Blaine graduated and then work out where life takes ya. Your future will all depend on what kind of job Blaine gets, and where he needs to be based, and maybe if that's somewhere I like too, then I'll retire there."

"I would really love that," Kurt says, but Burt doesn't reply, too overwhelmed with emotion. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that Kurt would want to keep him close at hand for his adult life.

"So would I. That'd be like, the best thing ever," Blaine agrees, but Burt can't really say he's surprised by that announcement, given that he's pretty sure Blaine would live in his pocket given half the chance.

"You'll go to Florida, I'm guessing?" he asks, but Blaine shrugs. "Depends. It could..."

"Florida? Why?"

"Because that's where the Kennedy Space Center is, you moron," Burt laughs, as Kurt looks utterly shocked.

"Not just there," Blaine interrupts. "California, Washington DC, Alabama."

"Ala...Ala-freakin-bama!" Kurt cries. "You're moving me to Alabama?"

Burt sinks low in the back seat. "Oooh dear."

"Calm down, I'm not moving you anywhere," Blaine says calmly.

"I am not living in Alabama. I'm just not."

"It's very beautiful."

"You've never been there!"

"No, but I watched that movie."

"Listen, space cowboy, I am not traipsing across the country to some godforsaken town, just so you can build a rocket. I don't care what your lifelong dream is, it's not gonna happen, okay?"

The silence is deafening, as Burt wonders why he even bothered mentioning anything, and Blaine drives on, staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched. Kurt stares out the window, not sure whether he wants to cry, laugh, or just sit down and talk with Blaine about all this at a quieter moment. He knows what the logical answer would be, but he opts to cry instead.

"I was going to say that I still have two more years of college," Blaine says, after ten excruciating minutes of silence. "Then I have to get accepted into the program, and then, and only then, I would talk with you about whether relocation was an option. If you wanted to stay in New York, then I'd look at using my degree in some other way. If none of the NASA jobs or locations were suitable, then I wouldn't take it. Our marriage, as it will be by then, comes above anything else, and your happiness."

Burt reaches forward, clapping a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I'd say that sounds like a good compromise, wouldn't you?"

But Kurt is locked in his mood, and Blaine and Burt both know he'll only emerge when he's ready. "I'm not moving to Alabama."

* * *

><p>Angie is excited. She bounds up the front steps, tosses her keys onto the hall table, and calls out happily. "I'm home!"<p>

"In the kitchen," comes the warm, familiar voice of Burt, and she rushes in, but he is alone at the stove.

"Oh." She gives Burt his usual hug, and then sets her bag on the counter.

"He's in the basement."

"Ah. Okay. Well I'll wait for them to emerge then."

"Oh Kurt isn't with him. He's sulking in the den, Blaine's sulking down there."

"What? Why?"

"Because NASA dared to build a development site in Alabama."

"I'm not sure I follow."

Burt fills her in quickly, and then dispatches her to the basement while he finishes up dinner. Blaine lies on the bed, staring at the ceiling, neatly contained on what Angie assumes must be his usual side. He doesn't even acknowledge her arrival, until she leans over him and kisses his cheek. "You okay?"

"How can we get married if he's not willing to compromise?" Blaine says morosely. "Hello, by the way, and no I'm not. Seriously mom, how?"

"Sweetie, it probably came as a shock to him, that's all. His job is based in New York, you could be based wherever, it'll be up to both of you to compromise, if and when it comes to it."

"I know that! I was assuming that's what would happen, but he just shut me down! Told me to forget my dream."

"Blaine, I don't think he meant that."

"I do."

"Blaine, Kurt has worked hard to get himself established in a really good job. To hear that he might one day have to leave all that behind must unsettle him."

"But we always said we wouldn't stay in the city. Not once kids..." he breaks off, swallowing hard. "You know, if we buy a house or whatever, we'd want it to be somewhere we would choose to settle."

"And that will happen," Angie says encouragingly. "It will. You'll choose somewhere together, and you'll know it's right."

"I'll be stuck in Alabama, and he'll leave me and move back to New York."

"Now you're being silly," Angie says firmly. "You know that's not what would happen."

"I don't. Anything is possible with Kurt. He's a loose canon."

Angie sighs and gently rubs a hand over his shoulder, given that smoothing his hair is clearly not an option. She wants to ask why he's wearing it like that again, but she doesn't, just takes his hand in hers and kisses the back of it.

Kurt arrives, he thinks quietly, but both of them look up, so he guesses probably not.

"Hey Angie."

"Hi Kurt."

"Could I please talk to Blaine?"

"Sure. I'll go help with dinner."

He waits until he hears the door close, and then crawls on the bed to lie on his front next to Blaine, propped up on his elbows. "I'm sorry."

Blaine turns his head to look at him. "You were really mean."

"I know. That's why I said sorry."

"I don't get why you'd say all that stuff."

"Because I'm scared," Kurt admits quietly. "You know, it's easy to say that we have a future together, while we're living in our cozy little apartment that I love so much, and I'm happy in my job, and you're studying, but to realize that one day that might all change, it was a shock."

"Then why did you propose?"

"No, no, that's not...it's, okay, Blaine, that's what I'm trying to say. I proposed because I want all that with you. I want us to do new things, go new places. I just hadn't really thought about it, that's all. I should never have told you to give up on your dream, that was low, and I'm really sorry. I'd follow you to the end of the earth, I hope you know that."

"Not right now I don't."

"I really would." Kurt sits up, taking his hand which rests on his stomach. "Listen to me, Blaine. You are so smart, and you work so hard. Honestly, I feel like it's my privilege to watch you go through college and to achieve all you set out to do. You have held me up and pushed me to follow my dreams, and I intend to do exactly the same for you. I love writing, but you know what? I can pick up my laptop, and I can go write anywhere I choose. And I frequently do, just ask Danny at Starbucks. I will follow you wherever you go," he repeats firmly. "And if that's Washington, or Florida or even Alabama, I'll be there, right with you, I promise."

Blaine gives a nod, his eyes watery, and he gladly accepts the kiss Kurt offers, but he stays lying on his back. "What would you do though? If we moved? And what if you hated it? What then?"

"Well, there are always publications that need writers. Local newspapers, websites...I could even set up my own if I wanted. And you know, I trust you. I know you wouldn't come home one day and announce we were moving halfway across the country. I mean, that's the type of thing I would do for sure, but I do at least know that you'd discuss it with me first."

Blaine gives a little laugh, and holds his arms open for Kurt to cuddle in. "Apology accepted," he says into his hair. "I love you, tiger."

"I love you too. And I'm also sorry for not mentioning the whole dad moving closer to us thing too, I should have discussed that with you."

"He could live in our bathroom and I would be happy."

"No you wouldn't," Kurt laughs. "But I'm glad if you think him living closer would be a good thing."

"Oh it totally would."

"We could restore another car on weekends."

"Yeah."

"Are you really okay?" Kurt asks, when that's his only response. He sits again, and makes to brush a stray curl from his forehead, but then realizes there aren't any. "I get the feeling something's not right."

Blaine bites his lip and blinks back tears. "I'm tired of feeling this way," he says at last. "I love you, I love being with you, but sometimes I just feel like...like you have this life, and you're all grown up and settled, and I'm just trailing along behind. You're the master, and I'm the student, you're the adult, and I'm the kid."

"Blaine!" Kurt says, shocked. "I never set out to make you feel that way at all."

"No, I never said you did. It's not you, I just...since Spencer, I just don't feel like anyone sees me as your equal, more like someone who needs looking after all the time."

Kurt lies down next to him, kissing his cheek. "You know what? I don't think anyone does think that, and even if they do, it doesn't matter. We are equals, you and I. We prop each other up, love one another, and support each other. And hey, you know what else?"

"What?"

"No one knows us, or what our relationship is really like, except for you and me. No one knows that you can pin me down and dominate me," he teases, but Blaine is not in the mood, and just gives a weak smile. "I love you so much, Blaine, please don't be sad. We've got these few days to spend time with our family, and I just..."

"I think I'll come back to New York with you," Blaine blurts suddenly. "I don't like the thought of you staying in the apartment by yourself while I'm here. Anything could happen."

Kurt stops himself just before he can loudly protest, and he mentally congratulates himself on not exploding. He was going to say that he's not dumb, there's no way he would let a delivery guy into the apartment again, whether they were genuine or not, but he also knows Blaine would get upset again. He also wants to tell him that he's thirty one, he's lived alone for far longer than he's lived with Blaine, and he's more than capable of taking care of himself, as the state of Spencer and Max's faces had showed...but he doesn't.

"That is very sweet of you, and I get why you're worried, but really, I'll be okay. You need this time with dad, and I know how much you love working at the garage. I can get loads of work done without the distraction of your gorgeousness, and then we can have the most awesome road trip."

"You might need me though, and I won't be there."

"It's ten days apart," Kurt says gently. "I went to London and abandoned you for three weeks."

"That was before."

"How about this? I promise faithfully that I will call you right away if I'm worried, or upset, or scared, and I promise not to be above asking you to come home if I need you, okay?"

Blaine is surprised but placated by Kurt's words, and he nods emphatically. "Yeah. That would make me feel so much better."

"Good. Now, are we indulging in a bit of pre dinner fooling around, or what?"

"In a minute," Blaine says with a laugh. "I just have to use the bathroom first."

* * *

><p>Blaine does seem brighter that evening, and time passes happily over dinner and cards. Angie turns in first, and she's followed not long after by Blaine.<p>

"Already?" Kurt asks, when he stands and yawns, stretching his arms high above his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so tired."

"Are you sure you're..." He stops, swallows, and gives a nod, not wanting Blaine to feel belittled in front of Burt. "Sure. Want me to wake you when I come down?"

"Yes please," he says, and though he knows it will only be so Kurt can give him a quick kiss before cuddling in, he still blushes in the cutest way possible. "Night dad," he says, giving Burt's cheek a kiss, and Burt reaches back to rub at his neck.

"Night, sunshine. Good to have you home."

"Go fish?" Kurt asks, once the basement door is closed.

"Sure. I'll fetch us another beer."

Kurt waits it out, and Burt waits his son out too, knowing he wants to talk about something. After three rounds, when he's pretty positive Blaine must be asleep, Kurt says as casually as he can: "I'm a little worried about Blaine."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He's been acting a little weird all week."

"Like how?"

"Well, he got really upset earlier."

Burt stops dealing cards and looks up, one eyebrow raised. "Are you seriously wondering why?"

"No... well, kinda. He's used to me by now."

"Doesn't mean you can say what you want to him, though."

"No, I know that, and I apologized. He said he accepted it, and that we were all good, and we are, but he's not."

"I don't follow."

"Well, he said he's fed up with people pitying him, and being treated like the younger one."

"He is the younger one," Burt points out. "He's also sensitive and sweet, whereas you're like a bull in a china shop."

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

Kurt laughs, and flicks his beer cap at his dad for good measure. "I know all this, but I think it's really starting to affect him. And I also think it's deeper than that. I think he has something wrong and he's not telling me."

"He's sick?"

"I don't know, but every night for a week now, I wake up in the night to find he's not there, he's in the bathroom. Last night he was crying, I know he was, but when he came back to bed I asked if he was okay, and he said he had to pee, that was all."

"Maybe he did."

"Oh I think he did, but it's every night."

"So? I get up twice in the night."

"Yeah but you're old. He never gets up. I'm wondering if the attack left him with some kind of problem that's only arisen recently. I don't know. All I know is everytime he goes to the bathroom I'm panicking."

"Problems with his plumbing, you think?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm." Burt takes a sip of his beer and thinks. "Is he okay in bed?"

"Dad!"

"What? You know what I mean. Is he functioning okay?"

"I'm not...oh my God."

"When did you acquire morals? Just tell me, have you two been at it, or not?"

"We...yes," Kurt eventually blusters.

"Within this past week?"

"Of course. What do you take us for?"

"So you think he might have a problem with his waterworks rather than anything else?"

"Yes."

"I'll talk to him," Burt declares. "When you're gone. Get him to a doctor."

"Thank you," Kurt sighs. "I don't want him to feel like I'm babying him, but you're his dad, he'll take a bit of guidance from you. Please don't tell Angie though," Kurt adds quickly. "He'd die."

"Of course I won't. Poor Blaine. I tell ya, if I ever see that asshole again, I'll ruin him."

They play cards together, father and son, until nearly one in the morning, when Burt remembers he has to work at six. Kurt changes quietly, and uses the bathroom, before climbing into bed and giving Blaine a gentle nudge. "I'm here."

"What?" Blaine leaps upright, scrambling back against the headboard, his eyes wide with terror. "No! No, you can't be! Get out!"

"Blaine! Hey, it's me."

He blinks slowly as he wakes properly, not realizing what he's just done. "Hey," he whispers, his voice heavy with sleep. "Cuddle?"

"Sure."

Kurt eyes him warily as they settle down, but Blaine kisses him softly and goes right back to sleep, not waking again until four. Kurt wakes at four thirty, missing his portable heater, and sure enough, as he listens in the dark, the only sound he can hear is Blaine crying in the bathroom.


	25. Chapter 25

Kurt falls back on the bed, exhausted. He is happy when Blaine falls on top of him though, and nuzzles in to kiss at his neck. "Tired?"

"Totally dead. Wow. One day at the garage and I'm done for."

"Yeah, I'm tired too," Blaine admits. "But I had fun."

"You should sleep more."

"I do sleep," Blaine says, pulling back with a frown. "Next to you, in case you hadn't noticed."

"Yeah..." Kurt decides to drop it. His dad has said he'll deal with it on Monday, and Kurt only has tommorrow left in Ohio before he heads back to New York. He really doesn't want a fight now. "I got confused, thought that was someone else."

"Oh very funny," Blaine says with a smile. He lowers his head again, and kisses at his neck. "We should shower before dinner."

"Hmm. We should. I'll go first."

"What? Oh, come on, Kurt, please. I've had to look at you in coveralls all day."

"Yes, and last time we attempted it in the shower, we nearly ended up in the emergency room," he says haughtily, pushing Blaine off him so he can sit.

"Well I'll hold on tighter this time," Blaine tries. "Or you can...y'know, take me from behind."

"No." Kurt sounds firm, but he laughs and kisses Blaine's adorably pouty lips. "Just wait until bedtime."

Still, as soon as the water is running, Blaine quickly strips off his clothes and invades the bathroom. There's something about Kurt in the shower that does something to him, and he finds himself powerless to resist. On work or school mornings, it takes enormous self-control not to go rushing in the second he hears the water start to run.

"Holy shit," he moans, when he pulls back the curtain. Clearly Kurt was expecting him, because there he is, head thrown back under the spray, masturbating slowly. "Get over here," he demands, without opening his eyes. "Let me touch you."

* * *

><p>"Burt!" Angie yells, as she sets the lasagna down on the table. "Honestly."<p>

"What?"

"You have an oil smudge on your neck, and across your forehead. Did your momma not teach you how to shower?"

"Oh she did," Burt says, with a glare at Kurt and Blaine, who look as innocent as can be. "But there wasn't enough hot water to take one. Someone used it all."

"Ah yes, I forgot there's three of you to take showers today."

"They seem to count as one," Burt grumbles. "And one who takes forty five flamin minutes!"

Blaine slides low in his seat, as Kurt smirks proudly, and Angie clears her throat. "Uh...boys? Should you maybe...I don't know. Apologize?"

"Nope." Kurt carries on regardless, handing his plate to Angie to fill with lasagna. "It's Blaine's fault anyway. He won't leave me alone when I'm in the shower."

"Kurt!" Blaine- his eyes just visible above the tablecloth- suddenly comes to life. "That is my mom!"

"I really do not want to know what you two get up to," Angie says stiffly. "Just please be considerate of everyone living in this house."

"Oh God," Blaine and Burt moan in unison, just knowing Kurt is about to blow, but he doesn't. He looks shocked, that someone has spoken to him with authority, but he swallows hard and looks across at his dad.

"Fine. I'm sorry. Next time we'll be quicker. I know exactly how Blaine works."

No one says anything, but there is a thud as Blaine finally falls out of his seat to curl up on the floor, and pray that the ground will swallow him whole.

Their time together in Ohio passes too quickly, but neither can be sad, as they know that in ten days, they'll be together again and heading off on vacation. Blaine drives Kurt to the airport, and shamelessly makes out with him right in front of the departures entrance.

"Hmm. I love you so much. Have I told you that recently? I do. I love you."

"You might have mentioned it," Kurt grins, kissing him again. "But I can never remember, so I think you'd better keep saying it."

"You'll call me, right? If you need me?"

"I promise."

"And don't forget to check on Brian. And Santana."

"Well I can't forget her, she tells me she's coming over tonight."

"Good."

"Have fun with dad. And your mom, too. You should try and spend some time with her if you can. I like her. Away from that dickhead she has so much spark and sass."

"I will. And Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"One more kiss."

They get along okay, being apart. In fact, in a strange way, it's a really good thing, as it makes them miss each other, and reminds them to cherish the time they get to spend in each others company. They Skype each day, and Kurt really wants to ask Blaine about his bathroom habits, but how on earth do you bring something like that into the conversation? Blaine is meticulously private about such things. He always closes the bathroom door at home, and he's yelled at Kurt twice for sitting there reading the newspaper with the door wide open. He doesn't mention anything about any of it, really, other than to tell Kurt off when he starts discussing his own habits, so it comes as quite a shock when, the day after Kurt has returned to New York, Burt invades his room.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure. Though you're probably fed up with me after a day at work."

"Fed up with you? Never." Burt ruffles his hair, and sits on the bed, patting the space next to him. "I think we need to have a chat."

"Oh? Why?"

"I think you have a problem, kid, and you won't tell anyone because you're embarrassed."

Blaine sits down next to him tentatively. "What-what problem do I have?"

"Hmm, well, I don't know exactly, but it's been noted that you're in the bathroom quite a lot."

Blaine stares. And blinks. And stares some more. "Excuse me?"

"Blaine, I'm gonna lay it all out here, okay? You and me, we're above secrecy, or embarrassment. Kurt asked me to talk to you, because he doesn't know how to go about it, but he said he keeps waking up to find you in the bathroom, and a few times you've been crying. I've been watching you today, and you went to the bathroom five times during the day. I'm sure that's more than normal. It's okay, if you've got problems after the op, you know? We can get you fixed, buddy, but I just need to know about them, that's all."

"Uh...I don't have any problems."

"Blaine, I think you do."

"With my...y'know, it all works fine," Blaine chokes out. "It's not...there's nothing wrong. In fact, I'm surprised Kurt hasn't given you that information already."

"Oh, he's told me you're still having sex," Burt says nonchalantly, while Blaine falls back on the bed in embarrassment. "It's your toilet habits that are concerning him."

"I don't have a problem!" Blaine cries. "I had a lot of water at work today, it was hot! That's all!"

"And at night? How do you explain that?"

Blaine stops. He could tell him exactly how he feels each and every night, how he's starting to dread falling asleep, because he knows what's coming, and how he wakes, sweating, trembling and whimpering, or yelling and crying. He could also explain that he goes and cries alone in the bathroom, because he doesn't want to wake Kurt, and he doesn't want him to think he's weak.

He could tell him all this and more, but he doesn't want to see the pity in Burt's eyes.

"I had like...one nightmare, maybe two. I didn't even know Kurt was awake," he says honestly. "He certainly didn't say anything."

"Oh." Burt is surprised. Certainly Kurt had made it seem like more than that. So was Kurt overreacting, or was Blaine trying to sweep it all under the rug? He knows which he thinks is more likely. "Blaine, are you...if you haven't got problems with your penis, is it something else? More an emotional sort of problem?"

"No!" he shouts, loud enough for Burt to know he's hit the nail on the head. "And please don't ever say that word again." He rolls over on the bed, and hides his face in his hands.

"Emotional?"

"The other one."

"Penis?"

A small nod.

"We've all got one, Blaine. Well. Not girls. Or some guys. You know, guys who were born girls. Or maybe they do? I don't know. Do they? I'll ask Angie."

"My mom is not gonna know the answer!" Blaine cries despairingly. "Please leave. Just...leave."

"But you..."

"I'm fine, I just want to talk to Kurt, that's all."

"Are you two gonna fight?"

"Probably," Blaine admits. "And you're not going to want to be sitting here when we do."

"He was only trying to help, Blaine," Burt says sadly. He stands and walks away, pausing at the bottom of the stairs. "Don't be too hard on him."

"Fine."

"Hug?"

Blaine sits. He's a mess of emotion now, torn between being angry at Kurt, annoyed at Burt, and disappointed in himself for not admitting the truth.

"Not right now."

Burt hangs his head and gives a nod. "Okay. Well, it's my turn to cook, so..."

Blaine hates himself.

He hears the door softly close at the top of the stairs, and he falls back on the bed again and tries not to cry. He can feel all those old feelings of self loathing creeping back in, and he hates himself even more because of it.

He hates them.

He hates that Spencer and Simon can continue to affect his life like this, after all this time.

Opening up the laptop, he is relieved when Kurt answers right away. His anger towards him subsides somewhat, when he sees his smiling face, but he still manages to give him a stern glare.

"What?"

"You know what," Blaine says, and Kurt shrugs. "There is nothing wrong with my junk!"

"Oh."

"Yes, oh. Why, Kurt? Why did you tell dad to talk to me? Why couldn't you do it?"

"Okay, you're upset. I get that."

"Damn right I'm upset! Do you know how embarrassing it was? And he's actually counting the number of times I use the bathroom in a day!"

"You say there's nothing wrong," Kurt interrupts. "But how do you explain the crying in the bathroom at night?"

"I had another nightmare, that's all," Blaine snaps. "It's gone now, it won't happen again, and I didn't want to wake you and worry you. Now please, just drop it."

Kurt thinks. He doesn't know why he didn't realize before, but that's obviously Blaine's problem. He's trapped in a recurring nightmare. "One time?"

"One," Blaine says firmly. "There was the time you knew about, and then the next time I assumed you were sleeping."

"I was. I turned over and you weren't there, so I woke up."

"Well anyway, like I said. Please just leave it. My anatomy is fine, my brain is fine. End of story."

Kurt wants to call him out on this, because he knows it's far more than once that he's woken in the night, and he also knows, just from looking at Blaine's tired and drawn face, that it's having far more of an effect than he's letting on.

He also knows that he doesn't want to fight when they're so far apart. He doesn't want the yelling, the crying, the disconnecting of calls, and the long, anxious hours spent waiting for one of them to give in and call back. Kurt isn't very good at giving in.

"Fine. I'm really sorry, Blaine." He sighs, knowing this will have to be dealt with at some point, but not right now. "I just assumed, you're right. I didn't talk to you about it because I didn't want to ruin the time we had left together. So I'm sorry for asking dad to do it instead."

"It's okay," Blaine mumbles, his eyes downcast. He feels terrible. Kurt is apologizing to him for being concerned, and what is more, he has every reason to be worried, and Blaine is basically shutting him down. "Let's just...move on."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I don't know. A little, maybe." Blaine looks up, his heart plummeting when he sees Kurt anxiously biting his lip. "No," he says, softening. "No, I'm not mad. You're so beautiful, you know that? I love you."

"I love you too," Kurt says, the relief evident in his voice. "I miss you."

"I miss you too, but it'll be vacation soon. Tell me about your day. Did you do that shoot thingy? In the park?"

"We started, but it'll take a few days. Oh! I got asked out."

"Oh great!" Blaine laughs, throwing his hands up in the air. "I leave you alone for five minutes, Hummel!"

"No, no, listen," Kurt says with a grin. "It was the guy who's doing the lighting for our shoot. I mean, he claimed he was asking for a friend, but we all know that's a lie. He said his friend wanted to ask me out, so could he get my number, and I said...get this, because this is like the greatest thing ever," he says, straightening up proudly. "I said, 'Oh, I'm sorry, I have a fiancé.' Did you hear that?" he shrieks excitedly. "Not 'I'm taken,' or 'I have a boyfriend.' No. Fiancé, Blaine. I have a fiancé!"

Blaine can't help but laugh, because Kurt looks so damn proud to be able to say that, and Blaine knows it makes no difference if five hundred guys asked him out, he'd turn down each and every one. "Yeah you do," Blaine says, blowing a kiss. "And I never thought I'd be happy that you'd been asked out," he teases lightly. "But your response kinda makes it pretty awesome."

"Ha! Well, he was a nice enough guy. I felt kinda bad for turning him down, but hey, what can I do? It's not my fault the world's hottest guy wants me for his own."

"Pfff. You're the hottest one," Blaine teases. "Did he tell you it was him in the end, and not his friend?"

"No! He was like 'Oh my friend will be disappointed.' But whatever. I get that it's nerve wracking, telling people you like them like that."

"Well it took you long enough," Blaine teases. "Still, we got there in the end."

They chat for a while longer, until Blaine realizes that his mom will be home soon, and he wants to talk to Burt before that, so after blowing countless kisses at the screen, he heads upstairs to the kitchen.

"Sorry," he says, curling in under Burt's arm, and hugging him tight.

"Oh Blaine, it's okay, kid, really." Burt steps away from the stove, so he can hold him properly, and he gives a little kiss into his hair. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, or make you mad. Kurt and I...we're just concerned about you, that's all."

"I know, but I'm fine, really."

Burt sighs. There's not really a lot he can do, because by forcing Blaine to talk, he will only drive him away, he's learned that with Kurt, the hard way.

"Well, that's good, you know?" he eventually says, as brightly as he can. "As long as you know that we're always here. Kurt, me, your mom."

"I do."

"Good. Oh, and speaking of I do...I wanna talk weddings with you and Kurt some time, so get to thinking about a date."

* * *

><p>Kurt looks up from his notebook, and tries to give the lighting guy from yesterday a friendly wave, but he looks the other way quickly. Kurt feels bad for him, but not only is Kurt entirely unavailable, even if he was free and single, the guy wouldn't be his type anyway.<p>

"Hi."

Kurt looks up again, from where he is sitting under the shade of a tree on his lunch break, to see one of the models from the shoot looking down at him. "Oh," he says, quickly swallowing his mouthful of sandwich. "Hey." He quickly shifts his bag from the grass next to him, and gestures for the young man to sit. "Are you okay? Is there a problem?"

"No, I just thought I'd come say hi. I'm Solomon."

"Oh, well, hello Solomon," Kurt says politely. "I'm Kurt. Is the shoot okay for you?"

"Yeah, it's actually my biggest shoot so far, so I'm kinda nervous. I don't want to mess up."

"Oh I'm sure you won't."

"I don't know, I messed up yesterday, so..."

Kurt studies him. He's a model, and in many ways, seems so confident. Kurt had watched yesterday as he laughed and joked with the make-up girls, and flirted with the wardrobe lady, who had just laughed at his antics and reminded him she was old enough to be his mother. He's good looking, there's no denying. Tall, black, with deep brown eyes and closely cropped hair. He has broad shoulders and a trim waist, and boy does he look good in a suit. But he doesn't wear bow ties, or gel his curly hair. He doesn't have dimples when he smiles, and when he looks at Kurt and bites his lip, Kurt doesn't swoon and feel an overwhelming urge to kiss him. In fact, Kurt doesn't feel anything at all.

"How did you mess up? I thought things had gone well."

"I uh...I got my friend to ask you for your number," he admits, and Kurt's eyebrows nearly reach his hairline in surprise. "I didn't realize you were engaged, and I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. If I'd know, I never would have..."

"That was you? I assumed the guy was lying and asking for himself."

"No, no. Jack is completely straight," Solomon laughs. "That was...it was me."

"Wow. Okay. Well, um...yes. Sorry. Taken," he says proudly.

"Well, I should have figured," Solomon says, gesturing up and down. "Anyway, it was really out of line, so..."

"No, it's fine. We actually kind of laughed about it," Kurt admits. "I mean, not at you, but just because we only got engaged like, two weeks ago, so it's all kinda new and exciting, even turning someone down. Just to be able to say that I have a fiancé is thrilling."

"I'll bet." Solomon settles back against the tree. "I would never have asked you out if I'd known. Really. I'm not that kind of guy. It's just you seemed like fun, so..."

"Honestly, please don't worry."

"So, tell me about your fiancé then. How did you meet?"

"Erm...well, that's a really long story," Kurt laughs. "And my lunch break is nearly over."

"Tell me some other time then. What does he do? Is he in fashion?"

"Blaine? Ha! No, he's a total nerd," Kurt says affectionately. "He studies mechanical engineering at NYU, and he wants to be a aerospace mechanic."

"He wants to design spaceships?" Solomon asks excitedly. "Cool!"

"Yeah. And he will, you know? He is incredibly smart. He can like...inhale a book and then he just knows it all. He studies really hard and...oh, when he does? He wears glasses."

"Right. So he's younger, or...?

"He's twenty," Kurt confirms. "Eleven years between us. But it works."

"No, totally, I mean, age is nothing but a number, right? I'm twenty five, so I'm more or less in the middle of you two."

"Are you from New York?"

"Yeah. Born and bred. You?"

"Ohio."

* * *

><p>"So a male model asked you out?"<p>

"Yes, but I don't think it was because he was attracted to me, necessarily, more like he just wanted to try and meet someone. Does that make sense? He's a nice guy. Asked me about you, and listened while I rambled proudly on. Is that okay? That I talked to him?"

"Of course it's okay! You've proposed now," Blaine teases. "You're trapped."

"And I am perfectly happy to be trapped."

"I think it's good that you've found a friend."

"Well I'm not going to see him again, I wouldn't think. He's not booked for tomorrow, but you know, if the magazine uses him in the future, it'll be good to say hi. Anyway. Tell me about you. I miss your lips."

Blaine gives a pout at the screen, and makes Kurt laugh. "Well, last night, over dinner, dad was saying yet again that he has all the wedding fund taken care of, and that we're not allowed to contribute. He wants you and I to discuss dates some time so he has a clearer idea."

"Oh, well. I mean, whenever suits you, really. You'll graduate in two years, so...Blaine?" He stops talking, when he sees the anxious look Blaine is giving.

"Uh...I did have a thought..."

"Go on."

"Well, I was thinking about next May."

"As in, eleven months time?"

"Yeah. Okay, hear me out. If we marry after I graduate, it'll be all the stress of my finals, plus getting a job, plus the wedding. Then, if I do get into the NASA program, they might want me to start right away. If we did next year instead, I'd have the summer free, we could take a long honeymoon, and plus...well, you'll kinda think this is silly but...I'd like to get married on the eighteenth, because that would be three years to the day since you first told me you loved me."

Kurt sits, stunned. "You'll only be twenty one," he says softly. "Are you really ready to be someone's husband at that age?"

"Not someone's, yours. And I've been ready for months. I'd marry you tomorrow if you wouldn't freak out about having the right suit."

"Eleven months though? To organize a wedding? A real one?"

"It's okay Kurt, it was just a suggestion. We don't have to go with it. If you'd prefer to wait the two years, that's fine. I know we're going to get married, and that's enough for me."

"Can I think about it?" Kurt asks, and Blaine gives a nod. "It's just...I assumed two years, and you know what I'm like about changes of plan."

"I do," Blaine confirms. "And just so you know? I'll always love you, whatever you decide."

It takes ten minutes. Ten minutes in which Blaine folds the laundry, and then nearly drops the basket when the skype call comes through on his laptop.

"What the hell was I thinking?" Kurt asks in a rush. "Of course I'll marry you then! Why did I panic? I'd marry you in a heartbeat, but I do want the day to be perfect, and what you told me? About it being three years since we said I love you? Perfect. That's it, that's the perfect day. I'm sorry. I was just surprised at it being moved up by a year, but...oh Blaine. Blaine! We're gonna send out save the date cards! We're gonna get married!"


	26. Chapter 26

During the day, Blaine feels like he's floating on cloud nine. Kurt texts him random names of potential venues over the next few days, instructing him to google each one and request wedding packs, which he gladly does. In fact, after speaking with Kurt each evening, he then spends hours researching weddings on the internet. Really, anything to avoid having to go to sleep.

The nightmares continue, and Blaine now finds himself averaging about three or four hours sleep a night, which is not good for him at all. He comes home from the garage, and often has to nap because he's so tired, and Angie has privately expressed her concerns to Burt, who agrees with her, but doesn't let on that he knows the reason.

"It's not right," she says one night, when an exhausted Blaine has gone to bed. "He's so tired. He says he sleeps fine, but..."

"I know, and I've tried to talk to him, but he can only talk when he's ready."

"Maybe he'll be better when he's back with Kurt."

"Yeah, maybe."

The conversation ends there, and Angie heads up to bed, while Burt sits in his armchair and thinks. He is woken in the early hours, and at first he thinks it must be the TV, which is still blaring. Annoyed at having fallen asleep yet again in the den, he grumbles as he gets to his feet, shuts off the TV, and flips out the lights, and then he hears it again.

A high pitched scream, like a child in distress, and then hard, desperate crying, and a voice, begging. "Please, not him. No, please."

Burt hurries to the basement door and gives a knock. "Blaine? Buddy?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Blaine is crying, when Burt pushes open the door and hurries down the stairs. "Please don't hurt him, not Kurt, not Kurt."

Burt flips on the desk lamp, but Blaine is not in his bed. He is curled up on the floor in a ball, on his side, rocking back and forth, and whimpering softly.

"Blaine?"

There is no response. Blaine is sound asleep, locked in a world of terror which makes his face twist in agony as he screams again. "No! Not Kurt! Please!"

"Blaine, buddy, come on. Wake up for me, Blaine, come on," Burt urges, but there's still no response. He knows he shouldn't try and touch him when he's like this, but when Blaine bites on his fist, and then breaks down into sobs, Burt can't stand it any more. "Come on, sunshine, wake up for me. It's dad. It's me, it's okay, come on."

Kneeling on the floor, he manages, somehow, to pull Blaine into his arms and hold him tight against his chest.

"Not my face!" Blaine screams, pulling at his hair. "Not my face, please, no!"

Burt keeps talking, over and over and gently shaking Blaine, until eventually he wakes.

"What? Who? Not Kurt! Not... They were..." He starts, and then looks up and realizes Burt is holding him. "They're gonna kill me," he whispers, and then he cries.

"Oh Blaine."

"They're gonna kill me," he gasps, through broken sobs. "For the rest of my life, however hard I try, I'll never be rid of them. They're destroying me."

"Blaine, my boy," Burt soothes, rocking him back and forth like a child. "I'm here. I'm not ever gonna let them win, you hear me? Not ever. You are bigger, stronger, and better than them, and you'll see. You'll see that you can get past this, I promise."

"I don't think I can, though," he cries, as he holds on to Burt. "Every time I think it's okay, that I'm happy and things are good...they're still there. In my head. Laughing at me, hurting the people I love, taunting me...I hate myself for letting them win, but I don't know how to stop it. I don't know... I don't know..."

His sobs are desperate, wretched, and they seem to tear him apart as Burt holds him and soothes him as best he can. Blaine cries for himself, for all the memories he has tried to block out, and for the future, which right now, he can never envision being free from the oppressive, bullying presence of Spencer and his sons, and whether it's in physical form, or through mental torment, doesn't matter, he just feels as though he will never be able to shake it off.

"Okay," Burt says eventually, when his tears are subsiding. "We need to talk about this, but right now, you need some sleep. Here," he says, finding some clean pajamas and handing them to him. "Go clean yourself up while I get some clean sheets on this bed."

By the time Blaine is back under the covers, it is nearing four in the morning. He curls up on his side, his eyes large, as he looks at Burt. "Thank you," he whispers. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Blaine." Burt sits heavily on the bed, and holds his hand. "I won't if you really don't want me to, but I think you need some help here, and I think the best way for you to move past this is by talking to us all about it. Kurt, your mom, me, we love you so much, and we want you to be better."

"They'll think I'm a child," he says, tears rolling down his cheeks. "They won't say it, because they won't want to hurt me, but I'm supposed to marry Kurt," he says sadly. "And he will think he's taking on this pathetic..."

"Blaine, a question," Burt cuts in. "If it was me, having these nightmares, and you had come in and found me as I'd just found you, would you have rolled your eyes and walked away, because I'm an adult? Or would you have helped me?"

"I..."

"If I came to you, and said I was scared about something, would you laugh at me? Did I tell your mom to get over it when she left him? Blaine, it doesn't matter if you're six or sixty, if people love you, they want to help you, no matter what the problem, or how old you are, or anything else. Not one of us will think you're a child, we will all just think how brave you are in asking for help."

He doesn't say anything for a long time, just lies there holding Burt's hand, and thinking how easy it could be to just let them help, to share his problems. He feels as if he might be able to sleep again, at least, and even if the nightmares did come, there would be someone there for him to talk to.

"Will you stay with me?" he asks quietly. "Until I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

Burt sits on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and still holding Blaine's hand. "You can sleep. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

* * *

><p>Burt is the first one to stir, at eight, when he hears Angie leaving for work. His back is stiff from sleeping while sitting up, and he stands and stretches, before settling back down and waiting for Blaine to stir. It takes another half hour, but he blinks awake, surprised to find Burt next to him, before he remembers.<p>

"Oh."

"How you feelin'?"

"Okay, I guess," he shrugs. "Are we late for work?"

"We're not working today," Burt declares. "Liam can manage. I'll give him a call, and then you and I are heading to the doctors."

"What? No! Dad, I really don't want..."

"Blaine. I don't care. You're going."

"But..."

"Don't start with me about how you're not a kid," Burt barks at him, as he heads to the stairs. "I know you're not, but I also know that you can't go on like this."

So Blaine goes to the doctor, albeit reluctantly, and he tells him more about his dreams, as Burt sits beside him and listens.

"They're always taking my people," he explains. "The ones I love. My dads, mostly, both of them. And Kurt. They already have my mom. It's like...every night the same, but different. It's hard to explain."

"I think I understand," the doctor says. "And you know, flashbacks, recurring dreams...they're all normal after a traumatic experience."

"But why, though?" Blaine asks desperately. "Haven't I been through enough? Why is my brain doing this to me?"

"Many reasons," the doctor tells him calmly. "It could be extraneous stresses causing you to revisit a hard time in your life, or it could be that you never properly dealt with it at the time..."

"You did seem to bounce back pretty quick," Burt says gently.

"Yeah, but...Kurt...Kurt and me, we helped each other, I thought. I honestly felt okay."

"You might have felt it," the doctor says. "But you really do need time for emotional trauma like that to heal. It's no different than the break of a leg, or a bad brain needs to recover."

"And you rushed into finals," Burt points out. "Maybe that's why. I'm not saying you and Kurt didn't help each other out, and I know you were a huge support to him, just like he was to you, but like the doc says, you need time to work through this."

"How?"

"I would suggest a therapist," the doctor offers. "I know a good one in New York, actually. My brother. I'm sure he'd take you. I'd also like to give you some sleeping pills so you can rest at night."

"Oh, no way, no," Blaine snaps. "I'm not being drugged."

"Ah well, they're only light, to help you nod off, rather than put you under for hours on end. I'll prescribe them, and you can decide if you get it filled or not. There is one other thing you can do."

"Oh?"

"Talk. Share this with the people you love, and the ones you can trust. Tell them how you feel, ask for their support. Your dad here seems like a good guy."

"Yeah," Blaine says, with a sideways glance and a small smile. "He's kinda the best."

"You can easily overcome this, Blaine," the doctor says kindly. "You just have to let yourself."

* * *

><p>But he doesn't tell Kurt that night, in fact, he doesn't tell anyone anything at all. On Burt's stubborn insistence, the prescription is filled, Blaine takes a pill, and at last, he sleeps. So when Kurt eventually gives up trying to find him on skype, he calls the house phone, and Angie answers.<p>

"He's in bed," she tells Kurt when he asks. "He went down right after dinner to take a bath, then he called for Burt to go down there, and there he's been ever since."

"Dad? Why?"

"Blaine's not sleeping, for whatever reason, and your dad was sitting with him all last night too. It seems he's more reassured if he's next to him."

"Well he can move out tomorrow."

"I'm sure he will," Angie laughs. "I'm glad you're coming back. We all need each other right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that I don't think Blaine is well at all, and we all need to pull together on this."

"Can you tell him, when he wakes up, that I love him? I mean, I know I can text him, or whatever, but I think that sometimes...sometimes it does good to hear it from someone else. It might make him smile."

"I will," Angie promises. "And I'll see you tomorrow."

Angie delivers her message over breakfast, and Kurt is right, it brings a hint of color to Blaine's cheeks, and makes him smile softly. It's only later though, when he sees Kurt running toward him at the airport, that he finally feels complete.

"Oh my god!" Kurt shrieks loudly, but Blaine doesn't care that everyone turns to look at them, or that they keep staring when he scoops Kurt clean of the ground and kisses him passionately. He just cares that Kurt is here with him once more, that they are in each others arms, and now they have two whole weeks of no work, just plenty of time together.

"I've missed you," Kurt says softly into his ear, sensing it's what Blaine needs to hear. "I know I can survive without you, but it's like I just don't function as well, you know?"

"Oh, I know, trust me."

Kurt pulls back to study him, and Blaine looks down. "My puppy," he says sadly. "You're really not doing too good, are you?"

Blaine shakes his head, looking up with tears in his eyes. He doesn't speak, but Kurt knows, and gently kisses his forehead. "You wanna talk now? We could get coffee, or wait until we're home, I don't mind."

"Uh..yeah, actually, I've kinda had enough of crying so...now would be good. I'm less likely to cry in the middle of a Starbucks, I guess."

Kurt listens patiently, while Blaine tells him everything. He'd guessed a lot, though he would never tell Blaine that, but he wonders for a moment whether he should have forced Blaine to a doctor after the first dream.

"No, not at all," Blaine insists, and Kurt realizes his inner musings have slipped out. "I wouldn't have gone, we'd have had this huge fight right after we had gotten engaged, and it would have been awful."

"Still, I shouldn't have gone back to New York and left you here. I feel bad that it was left to dad."

"Don't be sad, because I needed it to be him," Blaine admits. "I love you endlessly, you know that, but I feel like now I can sit and tell you all this, and I know how I need you to help me, because he's already started that healing process for me. Does that make sense? It's not that I don't need you, because I do. It's just that he's my dad."

"I get that," Kurt says, reaching across the table for his hand. "And I will help you, any way I can. I'm so sorry I didn't notice you waking. Leave it to me to only wake up when I got cold. You could blast Beethoven's fifth and I'd still continue to sleep, but take my blanket and I'm awake in an instant."

"Well, I'm kinda happy to be your blanket," Blaine admits shyly, and Kurt's heart flutters with delight.

"Let's go," he declares, pulling Blaine to his feet. "We can talk more in the car, after we've made out."

And Blaine does talk more. Together, he and Kurt talk about every moment of that fateful day, and it helps Blaine enormously to hear it from Kurt's perspective.

"I was so angry already," Kurt tells him, as they head home in Bessie. "At myself for forgetting my laptop, mainly, plus I was stressed out, as you know. Of course, me being me, that had turned into me being mad at you for not answering your phone. Man, I was really gonna let you have it," he admits with a laugh. "So when I walked in and saw...well, all my adrenaline, fueled by anger, just came rushing out. I couldn't hold back. They could've been sitting there having tea, and I'd still have tried to kill them, but they weren't. They were hurting you. And I know how you feel, about being seen as weak, but I know for a fact that if that had been me getting beat on, you'd have wanted to kill them too."

"Is that what you wanted? To actually kill them?"

"Yes...no. I don't know. I just wanted to let them know that what they were doing was not okay. I needed them to stop."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"Like they haven't stopped."

Blaine glances across at him in surprise. "Really?"

"I feel like... I feel like they've paused," Kurt admits. "But I think we're being naive if we think they'll never come back."

They are nearly home, just a few streets away, but Blaine pulls over, and taking Kurt's face in his hands, he kisses him firmly on the mouth. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

"That is exactly how I feel too," Blaine says. Kurt looks at him, so open and earnest, and he realizes he's been waiting to hear this all along, the reassurance that he's not alone in worrying about it. "I am sure that somehow they're planning revenge. I don't mean they're going to come back to the apartment, or that they're going to...I don't know...try and kidnap mom, but I just mean that somehow they'll come back, and I try not to think about it, but..."

"But it's coming into your dreams instead," Kurt finishes for him. "Whereas I do think about it. I spend many hours when I'm supposed to be working just wondering, thinking, hoping you're okay, worrying that they'll turn up at dad's garage one day..."

"I would rip them apart," Blaine says, his face like stone. "I would find them and I would make sure they were incapable of ever hurting anyone again."

"You see! That's how I felt when they were on you! So please don't get hung up on anyone thinking you're a child. It's not that, it's just that we love you."

"Huh." Blaine turns to stare through the windshield. "Yeah. Dad said something similar."

"Of course. We're always right. All of us are in this, Blaine. All four of us."

"So what do we do then?" Blaine asks. "How do I..we, move forward?"

"I don't know," Kurt admits. "But we start by telling your mom about the dreams."

* * *

><p>By the time Kurt and Blaine fall into bed, both are drained from the hours spent talking, but both also feel lighter than they have in weeks. It's not like it's been a noticeable oppression, it's just that when it's suddenly not there anymore, both realize the effect it had been having upon them.<p>

"We'll get there, huh?" Blaine asks, when, fresh from the shower, he lies down on his front next to Kurt.

"Yeah."

Kurt turns out the light and pulls the covers up, turning onto his side so he can study Blaine in the moonlight. This is his favourite time, when Blaine is all fluffy, his hair softly curling, and he smells so good. "That's not to say the nightmares will stop right away, though, you know that? You still need to see a therapist. Or maybe, we both do."

"Both of us?"

"I thought I could come with you," Kurt says hesitantly. "I mean, maybe you would find it easier if I didn't..."

"I'd find it easier if you did," Blaine says, turning his head to the side to smile at him. "I love you so much, Kurt."

"I love you too. And I'm gonna keep on loving you. Whatever happens, I'll love you until...well, until at least the middle of next week. Maybe a day or two longer, if you're lucky."

Blaine gives a soft laugh, and closes his eyes when Kurt reaches out to play with his hair. "You're silly."

"Uh...no. You are, for saying yes to my proposal."

"Ha! Totally."

"We're good, you know?" Kurt says. "You and I. We're really strong together, and with the support of dad and your mom. That's why we'll make it, and why they won't win. They can't touch the love we all have for each other."

"Yeah. You're right," Blaine says, smiling at the thought. "They can't. I mean, they tried, didn't they? With mom? And for a while there, they succeeded. But she realized."

"Of course she did. Because she has a heart, and she has you for her son. No one could ever walk away from you."

Blaine opens his eyes in surprise. "What about that time you stormed off in Target?"

"Um..."

"And when you left me alone in that Bakery on Linden, because you thought Tom Selleck had walked past the window?"

"That was..."

"You also walked away in the middle of fifth avenue, because you thought Saks might have a sale, and I had to call you because you had suddenly disappeared. You stormed off in a huff when we were in Central Park, because I laughed when a dog licked your knee, you walked away in Pottery Barn, because I wouldn't let you buy that table, and you also left me in Whole Foods, because I said you'd never actually make Soda Bread, so it was pointless buying the ingredients."

"I hate you."

"I totally won that one," Blaine says smugly, and he laughs when Kurt digs him in the ribs, then yawns and closes his eyes again.

"You sleepy?"

"A little."

"You want one of your pills?"

"Hmm. No. Not right now. Just you."

"Um, you're gonna need to clarify that, cause I don't know if that means you want me, or just that you want me."

"Can we see how it goes?"

"Of course. Here. Let me give you a massage."

"Oh." He grins into the pillow, as Kurt straddles him and starts rubbing gently at his shoulders. "Then we're definitely gonna have sex."

"I might say no," Kurt teases, but he leans down and kisses above Blaine's shoulder. "I might have given it up."

"Kurt, that's the funniest joke you've ever made," Blaine quips, then he shuts up at the feel of his hands massaging over him.

Soft kisses are interspersed with gentle yet firm pressure, as Kurt works through every knot of tension in Blaine's back. When that's done, and he is soft and pliant, he moves lower.

Blaine moans quietly at the feel of Kurt's mouth there. It feels so good, and it's so easy to forget, to just let Kurt take over all his senses. Even the touch of his hands, running over the back of his thighs, gets him going, but it's not just that. It's the feel of Kurt's tongue, as he draws his knees up under him. It's Kurt's fingers, stretching him, making him ready, and then Kurt himself, his chest pressed tight against Blaine's back, as he enters him with a groan of satisfaction.

"I love you," he whispers, leaning down to tug his earlobe between his teeth. "I'm so happy to be back with you again."

"Hmm," Blaine agrees happily, and his agreement turns into a gasp of pleasure, when Kurt starts to move slowly.

They are unhurried, and when Kurt does eventually give in and let his orgasm take him, it is quietly, with his teeth scraping over Blaine's neck, as he holds his hand tightly. "What do you..."

"Just touch me," Blaine says, guiding Kurt's hand down. "Stay where you are and just touch me."

He comes quickly, with Kurt pressed tight against him, his body overwhelming Blaine completely. He keeps him close after, too, letting Kurt pull out, before curling around him once more, as they fall onto their sides. Kurt kisses his cheek gently, but within moments, Blaine is sound asleep.


	27. Chapter 27

Angie smiles as her hot and sweaty son flops down next to her on the sand, grateful for the shade of the umbrella and the bottle of water she offers.

"You're insane," she says, and Blaine uncaps the water, takes a mouthful, and grins.

"Keeps me fit."

"Kurt keeps you fit."

"Gross!"

"I'll tell him you said that," Angie laughs.

"He's not gross, you saying that is. Anyway, I like running, and running on the beach is even more fun."

"But in this heat?"

"I know, but the ocean...I like it here," Blaine says decisively. "It's like...really pretty."

"You like the beach, or San Diego?"

"Both. Cali, actually. I've loved everywhere we've visited so far, anyway. Bessie likes it here too, I can tell. She likes to be driven with her top down."

"And Kurt?"

"He likes it. I mean, I know he heads inside to nap at noon, but that's because he's lazy. It's been a good vacation, huh?"

"Best one ever," Angie says sincerely. "When I think of how lucky I am. I thought I'd lost everything, Blaine. And now I've ended up with my wonderful son, a future son-in-law whom I love just as much, and an amazing best friend."

"Dad?"

"Yeah. He's...well, it's an unlikely friendship, I'll admit," Angie concedes. "But it works for us. I think we both need to accept that people will always assume there must be more, even though there isn't. We need to move past worrying what other people think, because honestly? We're more concerned with being friends, and a family."

"I'm glad," Blaine says honestly. "He'll miss you when you move out."

"No he won't. I'm going to be ten minutes down the road, if that. We'll still see each other all the time. Like I said, we're a family now, aren't we?"

"Yeah."

Blaine sits up, looking out at the rolling waves, and thinking how great it would be if they lived here all the time. The hotel behind them had been their home for the last three days, after a leisurely drive in Bessie from Ohio to California, stopping along the way. Now they only had one more night left before they started their return trip, stopping to explore different towns, and then Kurt and Blaine would head back to New York.

Blaine had never felt so drawn to a place before, it was usually people who made a city or town feel like home to him. He loved New York, and was so glad that was where they were going to marry, but he also knew, if he had his choice, that he would like to raise a family with Kurt somewhere quieter, and preferably on the coast.

"What're you thinking about?"

"Babies," Blaine says, with a dreamy smile. "Kurt pushing a stroller. I might just die of happiness when that happens."

"You're such a softie," his mom laughs, and she sits up to put an arm around his shoulders. "You'll be a wonderful daddy one day. When's your test?"

"August fifth." Blaine sighs, and rests his head on her shoulder, happy when she plays with his hair. He had told her all about it somewhere between Albuquerque and Los Angeles, when Kurt and Burt were asleep in the back of the car, though Kurt had later told him he had woken up and listened to the whole thing with his eyes closed.

Angie had been incredibly supportive and understanding, even going so far as to say she totally got why he hadn't spoken about it to her before. He had opened up more, too, about how he felt as though Simon had violated him, taken something away from him that wasn't his to take. Angie had understood that as well, it wasn't anyone's place to injure him like that, and she suggested that part of the upset, could come from the fact that it had only ever been Kurt who touched him there.

Of course, he had nearly totalled Bessie at that point, and his face had been on fire for hours, but she was right, and he did admit as much to her. He also let on that it was his favourite part of being with Kurt, that he's been his only one, and the sex that night when they got to the motel had only proven to Blaine that the eavesdropping Kurt felt the same.

"You know Blaine, whatever happens..." his mom starts.

"I'll still be a dad one day, I know," he says with a sigh.

"It's not the same for you though, is it?"

"No, it's not, but thank you," he says, reaching up to pat her hand.

"Are the dreams any better?"

"No."

"Oh Blaine."

"I mean, in many ways it's easier, because I'm not afraid to wake Kurt and tell him, and he holds me and I get back to sleep quickly, but...I don't know. I don't know what will make them go away."

"Closure, I guess," Angie says. "You need to be able to feel like it's all over, but I just don't know how you're ever going to make that happen."

* * *

><p>"I want to go to Baltimore."<p>

"What the...?"

Kurt stops splashing cold water on his face and fishes for a towel. "You've just walked in the room."

"I know. I want to go to Baltimore."

"Now?"

"Not now. After vacation. And...and I don't care if you think it's dumb, stupid, or that I'm an idiot."

"I think that anyway," Kurt teases, stepping out of the bathroom and kissing his cheek. "Mmm. Sweaty Blaine. I like it."

"I mean it!" Blaine huffs, and Kurt just laughs and shakes his head, pulling on a clean t-shirt. "I do! I want to go there, and see him face to face. I want to tell him what I think."

"Good."

"And I'll go with or without your support."

"No you won't, you fool. I'll come with you, Blaine. You wanna confront the guy? Fine. But I'm gonna be right by your side for every second of it."

"I know it could be dangerous," Blaine carries on. "And dad will disown me if he finds out, but it's something I need to do so I can move on."

"Blaine! I don't know what you're getting so high and mighty about. Listen to what I'm saying. I'm all for this. I'll rent us a car and we can drive down, you can give psycho a piece of your mind, and then we'll walk away. No punching, no fighting, just you getting a chance to lay those demons to rest. We can go the weekend after we get back to New York. Before your test."

"Oh. You mean that?"

"Of course." Kurt wraps his arms around his neck, and kisses his cheek again.

"No fighting?"

"No."

"But what if they..."

"They won't. You're gonna own this, Blaine. You're gonna say your piece, and then we'll be gone before they can even digest what's been said. Then we'll get your test done, get the results, and together, with the help of that therapist, we'll start to put it all behind us, and we'll be ready to get married next spring, okay?"

Blaine smiles, pressing himself tighter against Kurt, and rubbing their noses together. "You're amazing."

"I know." He holds Blaine close, and kisses into his neck. "Ohh you're so sexy when you're all sweaty. Mmm."

"You're gross."

"Wanna play tennis?"

Blaine steps back in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"Tennis. Do you want to go play?"

"With who?"

"Me."

"Uh, Kurt, you do know that's exercise, right?"

"Hey! I exercise!"

"You sit on a bench with a mocha while I run around the park."

"We have a shit ton of sex, Blaine," Kurt points out smugly. "I don't need to do anything else. Anyway. Tennis. Yes?"

"Oh yes," Blaine laughs, heading to the door already. "Because I am going to whip your ass."

"Well then we should stay right here."

"Kinky bastard."

Kurt stops, right next to where Blaine holds the door open for him. "I wanna say don't curse," he breathes, his eyes darkening. "But that sounded so hot, coming from you."

"You wanna stay here?"

"No. I want to play tennis, and watch you get even more hot, and even more sweaty, and then I want to come back here, and fuck your brains out."

"I heard tennis!" Burt booms, as he pulls open the next door. "And we won't say what else I heard. Blaine, grab your mom, we'll play doubles."

* * *

><p>Kurt is true to his word, and the weekend after they return to New York, he rents a car, and together he and Blaine set off for Baltimore. Truth be told, he doesn't know if this is a good idea or not, but he is Blaine's lover, not his parent. They are equals, who are here to love and support each other no matter what, and the one thing he can be sure of, is that Blaine feels like this is something he needs to do, and so Kurt will support him every step of the way.<p>

It is a very quiet trip, just the occasional passing observation from either one of them, but as they head closer and closer to Spencer's house, Blaine draws in on himself. Kurt doesn't try and make him talk, he just reaches across and takes his hand, and the gentle squeeze that Blaine gives tells them both all they need to know.

"They're home," Blaine realizes, when Kurt pulls up opposite the house and kills the engine.

"Looks that way."

"I didn't know that. I thought we would be sitting here waiting or something, you know?"

"Well, we can still sit here and wait," Kurt says softly. "We can take as long as you need. And you don't have to do this. If you decide you want to go right home again, we can, and I promise I'll only yell at you a tiny little bit for making me drive all this way."

Blaine gives a little laugh, and leans over to kiss him. "Thank you for being so gracious. No, I'm gonna do this. I am."

"Okay then. Well, whenever you're ready."

"Right."

Ignoring the hammering in his heart, the sweaty palms, the blurred vision, and the sheer terror that grips him, Blaine forces himself from the car, across the road, and up to the front door. He knocks and he waits with Kurt by his side, and it is Simon who answers.

"Ohhh," he laughs, a beer swinging from his hand, even though it's barely noon. "Fucking hell. Dad! Dad, get out here, you gotta see this!"

Blaine stays silent, while Simon stands there, raking his eyes over him. He had taken a long time to decide on what to wear this morning, which sounded silly, but Blaine didn't want to appear too gay. It had been Kurt who had gently peeled his old T-shirt from his back, and handed him a neatly ironed plaid red button down instead. It was Kurt who rummaged through and found a neat navy and red bow tie too, and fixed Blaine's hair, before stepping back and admiring his handiwork. "Now you look like you," he had said with a smile. "My beautiful fiancé." And that is what came to Blaine now, as he stood there, trying not to turn tail and flee.

"This better be good," Spencer mutters, and then he comes into view, trailed by Max and James, who both draw up short. "Well fuck me," Spencer exclaims, then lounges arrogantly against the door frame. Kurt notices with some satisfaction, that his nose is much flatter and broader than it used to be.

Well, good.

"What do you want, huh?" He turns to Kurt with a sneer. "You take one step towards me, you faggot, and I'll kill you."

Kurt doesn't move, but he smirks, knowing how riled Spencer is by their arrival. "I'd really like to see you try."

"Don't fucking tempt me," he snarls, but Blaine steps forward.

"We didn't come here for that," he says quickly. "We came because I have something to say."

"Oh yeah? Angie sent you? She wants to come back? I knew she'd realize her mistake."

"Oh she's realized," Blaine says calmly. "She won't be coming back. She's doing great, thanks for asking."

"Oh fuck off, you piece of shit."

"Not yet. Not until I've said my piece. Kurt and I are getting married, you see, and I really want to lay all my demons to rest before that happens. And yes," he adds brightly. "I do class you as a demon."

"What the...?"

"I forgive you," Blaine rushes on, standing as tall as he can. "I forgive you for all you put me through. All the abuse. Because that's what it was. You abused me, and you abused mom. But I forgive you."

"You don't even know what you're talking about."

"Oh I think I do. The mind games, the torment, the name-calling, the rejection, the way you tried to turn my own mom against me. Simon, Max, James? I forgive you too," he says, turning his attentions to the three sons, who are staring at him. "For outing me in High School, for getting me bullied. For standing by and laughing while I was taunted every day. For pouring water in my bed and making it look like I'd wet it, for all the dumb stuff, like putting salt in my coffee, stealing all my toiletries, for hiding my gym bag, for trying to ruin my friendships for me. I even forgive you for ripping my dad out of all my photos, and trying to break me.

Because you didn't, you see," he says, drawing a shaking breath. "You didn't break me and you never will. Between the four of you, you made me a stronger, better man. I should thank you, probably. And Spencer? My dad and Burt have both taught me how to be a father and husband. You have given me the best lesson in how not to do it, and thanks to you, I know I'll be the best husband and dad there could be, because I will never, my whole life through, treat someone the way you treated me and mom. I'm sorry you didn't realize what a great wife you had. I'm sorry you felt the need to humiliate, taunt, and degrade her to feel good about yourself. I'm sorry men like you exist in the world, and give us all a bad name.

You didn't win, Spencer, and you never will. I'm going to walk away from here, just like mom did, with my head held high, because I know that Kurt and I are ten times the men you all will ever be."

"If I may," Kurt suddenly says from next to him. "While we're getting all this stuff out? I'll never be sorry for flattening you both," he says, with an evil grin at Spencer and Simon. "It must really suck to know you've been beaten up by a faggot. Simon? I was the one who made your girlfriend break up with you that time. I was also the one who lost you your job by claiming you'd harassed a girl. Oh, you know that other job you had? In the bar? Yeah. They didn't lay you off because they were overstaffed, it was because I told them you'd propositioned me in the bathroom. And I'd watch your back at In-and-Out too, because while you still have a job, just, they know all about your history with alcohol."

"You little..."

"Max?" Kurt carries on, ignoring Simon's red face and bulging eyes. "I am the reason you didn't make the college football team, and I am also the reason your little gang of friends suddenly deserted you. James? Yeah, sorry you flunked your senior year. I might have had a hand in that too. Oh, and I also slashed all the tires on your cars that time." He pauses, grins widely, and then adds: "I'm like herpes. I get everywhere. Just remember that."

"So we're gonna go now," Blaine chimes in. "And Spencer? I'd like to think that one day, when you're alone, and dying, maybe, that you'll look back on your life and realize how badly you treated me and mom. I'd like for that to happen, but I don't think it ever will, sadly. I think you'll just go through life being a bitter, evil, hate-filled man, and I pity you really, because you'll never know how great it is to really love someone other than yourself. Simon? I hope you'll find the courage within yourself to acknowledge your true sexuality, because life is much brighter on the outside of the closet. And that's all I came to say, really. Goodbye."

He walks swiftly away, with Kurt following, and he falls into the car, where he starts to shake uncontrollably.

"Blaine, I..."

"Just drive, Kurt," Blaine whispers. "Please just drive me away."

"Sure," he says with a nod, and quickly takes off down the road. "Just tell me when you want me to stop."

It takes an hour, and Kurt really wants to pull over and demand that Blaine talk, but he doesn't. He waits patiently. So patiently in fact, that when Blaine does ask for him to pull over at the next gas station, it comes as quite a shock.

"Here?"

"Yeah."

"Shit. Okay. Hold up," he says, then swerves hard across the road.

"Jesus, Kurt! Don't kill us!"

"I'm not! I wasn't, I just... Okay." He pulls in and cuts the engine, turning to face Blaine. "So? How do you think it went?"

"Uh..." Blaine is suddenly timid, afraid, overwhelmed with so many thoughts and feelings, that he doesn't know where to begin. "I don't know. How do you think it went?"

"Uh-uh," Kurt says with a smile. "I'm asking you."

"Um, I think..." he starts, and then his tears come. "Ugh, I don't even know why I'm crying," he admits, wiping at his eyes. "Because I think it went well, didn't it? I said what I wanted to, and...I think it was okay."

Kurt leans across to hug Blaine close, and he gently kisses above his temple before pulling back. "You're crying with relief. I don't blame you. Listen to me Blaine. I have seriously never been prouder of you than I am right now."

"Oh stop."

"No, I mean it," Kurt protests. "I thought you were going there to tell him what a piece of shit he was, but you didn't. You were incredible. Just...amazing. It didn't just go well, Blaine, it went brilliantly, and honestly, I'm so proud."

"I felt sick the entire time," he admits. "Like I was gonna hurl."

"And how do you feel now?"

"Yeah, relieved," he agrees, bowing his head. "Like I can move on, I think."

"Then that's excellent. Blaine, I've never loved you more than I do right now. You should be an example to everyone on how to be a decent human. To stand there and say you forgave them...that took real courage and grace, and not that there was ever any doubt, but I am so, so lucky to be marrying you."

"Oh, I don't know..."

"Shut up," Kurt orders, then leans across again to seek out his lips. "You're perfect."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Did you really do all that stuff?"

Kurt makes the most innocent face he can, and Blaine just has to laugh. "I don't believe you! You're terrible!"

"To be fair, dad had quite a hand in it too," he admits, and then it's his turn to laugh when Blaine's head thumps back against the seat. "And Santana."

"Can it stop now, please?"

"Oh, but I love stalking them on Facebook!"

"Well don't!" Blaine cries. "Put your energies into planning this wedding instead."

"Oh, now, that I can do," Kurt agrees, and then kisses him again. "I love you, and in case you didn't know, I am stupidly proud."

"Thank you. Can we go out and get really drunk tonight?"

"Absolutely."

"Just us?"

"Definitely."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

* * *

><p>They head to their favorite cocktail bar, still giddy with relief following the events of the day. Tucked away at a high table for two in the corner, they chat, laugh, and flirt outrageously with one another. By the time Kurt sets their third cocktails down on the table, both are pleasantly buzzing with the effects of the alcohol, and he leans on the table, giving Blaine a knowing look.<p>

"What?"

"You know what, mister Anderson. You've got bedroom eyes."

"Hmm." Blaine leans closer. "I have?"

"Yeah," Kurt breathes softly. "You look like you wanna take me home and do really wicked things to me."

"Maybe I do," Blaine flirts back, and then just stares directly into Kurt's eyes, the fire of passion burning bright for both.

"Let's go," Kurt says decisively, and they tear from the bar and outside to find a cab.

"Good evening boys," Brian calls, when he arrives home, not at all surprised to see them making out in the doorway.

"Hello Brian." Kurt's voice is muffled, his mouth buried in the collar of Blaine's shirt, but they do pull apart and follow him inside, their cheeks glowing with happiness.

"Hey, Brian, wanna know what we've been doing today?"

"That all depends, Blaine," Brian laughs. "I'm an old man, remember. Weak heart."

"No, no. We've been to Baltimore," he says happily. "We went to see Spencer."

Brian stops in the lobby, his hand paused on the elevator button. "You what?"

"We went to see him," Blaine repeats. "And I told him, face to face, that he's taught me how to be a better man, and I told him I've moved on and forgiven him."

"Wow." Brian's eyes flick to Kurt, who gives a small nod and a wide smile. "Wow, Blaine. I've gotta say, I'm proud of you."

"Thank you. I mean, I haven't forgiven him as in I'd be willing to be friends, but I've left it in the past, you know?"

"I know what you mean, and that's great. I just wouldn't want to be you when Burt finds out you've been back there."

"Oh, he'll be okay," Blaine laughs, as they step in the elevator, and Brian fixes him with a look.

"I might have only met him a handful of times, but the phrase 'papa bear' comes to mind. He seems quite protective."

"Well it's done now."

"It is," Brian agrees, and claps a hand on his shoulder. "And I'm proud of you, young man, I really am."

"Will he really be mad?" Blaine asks Kurt fearfully, as they walk down the hallway.

"Probably, but he'll be mad at me, not you."

"Well that's not fair, it was my idea."

"I know." Kurt shrugs, and unlocks the door, holding it open for Blaine to pass through. "But let's face it, we have him wrapped around our little fingers. He'll come around soon enough."

"So you're not bothered?"

"Nope." He kicks off his shoes, and then helps Blaine out of his jacket, hanging it neatly in the hall closet. "Now," he grins, coming close to wrap his arms around his neck. "You. Bedroom, now."

"Uh-uh." Blaine smiles against Kurt's lips, backing him into the kitchen, until the table hits the back of his thighs. "You. Here. Now."

It is hard, fast, and exactly what Kurt and Blaine both need. When they're satisfied, and Blaine has cleaned the kitchen table seven times, they fall into bed to cuddle close, with Kurt still sniggering.

"What?"

"You just...fucked me. On the kitchen table."

"Yeah." Blaine grins up at the ceiling. "Hmm. I totally did."

"Awesome."

"I'm getting better at being wild."

"You never needed to improve."

"I love you for saying that."

"You know what else?" Kurt asks, the edge of sleep just starting to creep into his voice.

"What?"

"I'm still proud of you. For today. It might not seem like much, but I feel as though, once this fertility test is out of the way, like we can get married with a clean slate, you know?"

Blaine stiffens at the mention of the test that he's trying really hard to ignore, and Kurt gives a soft kiss to his chest. "It'll be okay. We haven't got them to worry about now, so we can give this all our energies, and face whatever those results throw at us."

"I guess."

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't feel like they'll come back now," Kurt says, suddenly realizing. "I really do feel like you won."

"Oh." Blaine hides his smile. It might seem like a small comment, but Blaine can't help but finally feel the pride that he should be feeling. He made it all okay.

"Yeah you did," Kurt agrees, laughing when Blaine realizes he's spoken aloud. "I know you said that day when they broke in, that I was your...what was it? Knight in a shiny suit thingy," he teases, lifting his head to kiss his cheek. "But you were my hero today."


	28. Chapter 28

Blaine speed-walks down the street, hoping no one notices him, or decides to look at where he's going. Sure, no one would actually know he's going to the hospital for a fertility test, but he's entirely convinced that he might bump into someone he knows, and they might second guess, and in turn, they will tell Kurt.

Kurt.

Blaine doesn't know why he had told Kurt his test was on Friday, when it had been on Wednesday at eleven all along. He had purposely decided not to dwell on it. He didn't want Kurt coming, because that made it all real, and he's not entirely sure he could handle that.

He knows Kurt will freak out when he reveals that he lied, but he also knows that he'd rather take all the yelling, followed by the freeze out, than having Kurt coming with him, and asking a whole load of questions that he's too afraid to find out the answers to.

The trouble is, once he's arrived at the clinic, and been told to take a seat, he really wishes Kurt were there to hold his hand.

"I'm an idiot," he murmurs, and the middle aged man next to him gives a weak smile. "I am."

"Blaine Anderson? This way please."

He follows the nurse down the hallway, pulling off his jacket, and rolling up his sleeves as they go.

"In here," she says, with a kind smile. She hands him a small plastic cup, and he stares at it while she speaks. "You'll find some magazines on the table over there. When you're done, leave your sample on the side here, and push the buzzer. I'll come back and then you can go."

"I have to...I have to pee in the cup?" he whispers, horrified. "There's not a toilet in here."

The nurse stares at him, then rests a hand on his arm. "This is a fertility test," she says kindly. "We need a sperm sample."

"What?" Blaine says, probably too loudly. "A sp...No. No. I thought this was a blood test..." he trails off weakly, as he realizes how foolish he sounds, and suddenly he needs Kurt more than ever, and not to help him over his fear of needles.

"Just take your time," the nurse says. "And buzz when you're done. The magazines will help."

"Oh my god," Blaine moans, utterly distraught, when the door closes and he is left alone. He sinks into the chair next to the small table, and dares to peek at the magazines. "No, no, no," he whispers, then pushes the buzzer.

The nurse returns, giving a knock on the door before looking in. "Okay?"

"Uh, no," Blaine says, his face on fire. "The...the magazines. They're...there's women in them. I can't..It...No. Um...I don't like girls," he finally gets out. Then he panics. "Oh! I mean I like girls. They're beautiful. My best friend is...um...a girl. But I don't _like_ them, like them."

"That's fine," the nurse says, trying to hide her smile. "Let's take a look."

"No, really, let's not," he moans, hiding his eyes when a pair of breasts are flashed in his face.

"Hmm." The nurse carries on, flicking through another magazine now. "I'm sure we had... Oh, here. How about this?"

Blaine peeks. Two guys and a girl are engaged in a variety of sexual positions, that look horribly forced and unnatural. "No, I really don't...women...No."

"Um...Here!" She triumphantly hands him a double page spread, which is basically comprised of a man holding his erection and staring right into the camera. There is nothing remotely arousing about him, or the pictures, and all Blaine can think is "He looks like Kevin Bacon."

"Mmhmm, doesn't he?" the nurse laughs. "There you go. I'll leave you to it."

He pulls his phone from his pocket as soon as the door closes, and ignoring the no cell phone sign, calls Kurt at work.

"You have to help me!" he hisses, the second Kurt picks up.

"Hey, what's up? I've got a meeting in like...five minutes."

"I'm at the clinic for my test."

"Ha! You got the wrong day?"

"No, it's today, I just didn't want you to come."

"What?" Kurt shrieks, then he hurriedly closes the door to his office, and sits back behind his desk. "Blaine Anderson, if you think..."

"Yeah, yeah, listen, no time for that. I'm here, shut in this little room, and they want a...a sperm sample."

"Yeah. And?"

"Well I didn't know that! I wouldn't have come!"

"What did you think, Blaine? They were going to look in your ears?"

"Blood! I thought it was a blood test."

"A blood test? You've been shitting bricks about this for weeks!"

"Because I don't like needles!"

"Did you not wonder why they told you to abstain from sex for forty eight hours?"

"I just thought that was like...I don't know. So they could get a clear reading, or something."

"Yeah, of your sperm! Jesus Blaine! For someone so smart you are... beautiful," he finishes, stopping himself from hurling the insults.

"I don't know what to do, Kurt."

"Oh God," Kurt moans, thumping his forehead as he realizes just how completely horrified Blaine will be. "So what now, you can't produce?"

"Not a chance in hell. They left me with some magazines, and they all have women in them. There's like one picture of a guy pretending to jerk off."

"So use that."

"He looks like Kevin Bacon."

"Young or old?"

"Young. Footloose."

"Ooh. Nice. I'd definitely do a young Kevin Bacon."

"Well I wouldn't!"

"Hmm." Kurt thinks, and with the door closed, and the blinds into the outer office shut, he leans back in his chair, and puts his feet on the desk. "It's a shame you didn't want me there really, isn't it?"

"Yes," Blaine says meekly. "Sorry Kurt."

"That's okay," he says amiably. "The trouble is, if I was with you right now, I'll bet I could get that sample out of you in no time."

"You know you could," Blaine says, lowering his voice and smiling over the phone. "You're a bit of an expert when it comes to my body."

"Yeah. I like that," Kurt muses. "Being an expert on you. Damn. If you were here right now, I'd sit you on my desk, right in front of me, and I'd look you right in the eye as I rubbed you and made you hard."

"Kurt!" Blaine is shocked, and his voice comes out as a whisper, but he's undeniably turned on by the sultry tone Kurt's voice has taken on.

"It's okay though, Blaine. You're allowed to be hard. Run a hand over yourself. Do it for me."

"I can't," he says quietly, feeling very on edge. "I..."

"Do it, Blaine."

"Oh God."

"Are you doing it?"

"Yes."

"Good. You know what else I'd do if you were here? Sitting here right in front of me? I'd run my hands over your thighs, cause they're goddamn amazing, and then I'd unbutton your fly, and take out your cock."

"Ahhh, fuck," Blaine moans, shoving his pants and underwear to his ankles. He takes his cock in his hand and starts pumping frantically. It's too dry, and too rough, but he doesn't care. He has to do this, and the only way he's going to be able to manage it, is with Kurt providing this little fantasy for him. "Tell me."

"Oh god, your cock is glorious, Blaine," Kurt whispers. He shifts around in his chair, aware he's becoming turned on at work. "I'd suck it. I'd run my tongue around the head, dipping it into your slit to taste you. You taste so good."

"Fuck...yes."

"Take you deep in my throat, Blaine. You like that, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"I'd bring you right to the edge. Right there, until you're gasping and your legs are shaking and then...then I'd make you kneel at my feet and watch while I masturbate for you."

"Oh Jesus. Kurt. Please."

"I'm gonna stroke my cock while you kneel at my feet and watch me."

"Oh fuck...fuck...yes, Kurt. Want that."

"Yeah? You want that? What then? You wanna suck me? You want my aching cock in your mouth?"

"Yes!"

"You want me to come in your mouth? I want that, Blaine. I want you to kneel for me. I wanna come in your mouth."

Blaine makes some kind of whimpering moan, quickly setting his phone on speaker, as he grabs the cup, all shame and embarrassment forgotten.

"I wanna come," Kurt gasps, really wishing that he could do something about his now painful hard-on. "And then I want you back up on the desk, so I can watch you jerk off. You look so beautiful when you come for me, Blaine. And then, when you're done, I'm gonna lick all the come from your hand and cock. Take it all onto my tongue and swallow it down."

"Fuck!" Blaine cries loudly. "Oh fuck...Kurt!"

There's a loud gasp, and Kurt knows he's gotten there. Blaine shudders, somehow managing to spill into the cup, and then he rests it back on the table, while he pulls up his underwear and falls weakly back into the chair. "Young Kevin Bacon has nothing on you," he whispers, exhausted. "I love you."

"Hmm. I love you too," Kurt says with a smile. He really wishes they were together right now, so he could be sated and relieved, curling sleepily into Blaine's embrace, and not about to head to a meeting on florals and print for next season. "I kinda really have to go now."

"That's okay. I guess I'd better clean up and get out of here. How long was I?" he asks, starting to worry again. "Too long? Or not long enough? I'm always quicker, with you, cause you do things to me. Should I wait in here a while longer?"

"Blaine," Kurt laughs, shaking his head as he gathers his things for his meeting, and prays that his urgent desire will decide to disappear. "You're the cutest, you know that? Just get out of there, go home, go to class, or whatever it is you're gonna do, and I'll see you later."

"Okay. What time are you home?"

"Probably not until seven thirty."

"Boo."

"I know, but we have a new intern starting this afternoon, so I need to show them around, and talk them through some stuff, then I've gotta meet with some designers. I'll bring take out, okay?"

"Can you get Pad Thai from that place on eleventh?"

"For you, yes."

They say their goodbyes, and Blaine cleans up, presses the buzzer, and waits. When the nurse returns, he can't look her in the eye, just mumbles that he's done, and waits for her to say he can leave.

He bolts from the hospital, not stopping until he's found a small coffee shop, where he hides away in a corner with the biggest slice of cake they have, and a strong mug of coffee. It's only then, when he's pretending to read the New York Times, that he lets himself think it all over.

It's done. There is nothing he can do to alter the results in any way. All he can do is deal with them when they come. It's amazing how relaxed he now feels about it, really. Another relief, all of which is helping him on the road to recovery. They start therapy soon, and Blaine wonders if that will be when the nightmares end, because he would really like that.

He had hoped they'd stop after their visit to Baltimore, but they hadn't. Still, as Kurt had pointed out, it was going to take time, and as long as they were taking the necessary steps to move forward from this, then all would be okay.

He admires, and is surprised by, Kurt's optimism. Not so long ago, he would have been the one who looked on the dark side of all of this, the one who would have been convinced that nothing would ever be right again. Now he's here, reminding Blaine that it will get better, that they have their happiness, and that this is just a temporary obstruction. If they can't get over it, they'll go around it, and what is more, they'll do it together.

He also surprised Blaine by not getting mad when he had called him and revealed he was at the clinic. Blaine hadn't been expecting him to help out, he just needed to tell someone the awfulness of the situation, but he was very relieved that Kurt had essentially got him off over the phone.

He grins, unable to stop thinking about it.

* * *

><p>Kurt returns from his meeting feeling hungry, and with a raging headache. He settles down in his chair, really not wanting to face his computer screen for a while, so he shuts it down and picks up a notepad and pen instead. He needs food, but the notes from the meeting must take precedence. He has ideas, and he needs to expand on them now, before they all leave his brain entirely.<p>

"Knock, knock."

"Blaine!"

He grins widely at the sight of his fiancé, standing in the doorway, holding a bag from his favorite deli, and the notepad and pen are quickly pushed to one side.

"I thought you could use some food. I had cake," he explains, setting the bag down on an empty chair. "But I needed to thank you for earlier."

"Oh, the pleasure was mine, believe me," he laughs, as Blaine closes the door and hangs his coat on the back of it. "Well, it wasn't, but you get what I'm saying. This is nice," he remarks happily, already feeling more relaxed. "You don't often come in the office."

"Nope." Blaine lowers a blind, then turns to look over his shoulder. "And I should hope that you never do."

"Huh?"

"Come in the office," he repeats, lowering the second blind. Being Blaine, he also makes sure the office door is locked, but then he turns to face Kurt, and he walks slowly toward the desk. "Because making you come is my job."

"Holy shit!" Kurt murmurs, his eyes wide. "Do you mean...? Fuck!"

Coming around the desk, Blaine kneels at his feet, his hands on his thighs. "Yes."

"I have died." Kurt declares, letting his head fall back with a thump. "I have died and this is heaven. I'm surprised I made it, but grateful."

"Shh," Blaine says, trying hard not to laugh. "Just let me take care of you, the way you took care of me." He does laugh then, at the look of utter shock on Kurt's face.

"Oh my God," he moans, reaching out to slide a hand through Blaine's hair. "I'm at work. Jesus Christ! You're gonna blow me at work!"

"Yes I am."

He wastes no time, unfastening Kurt's pants and reaching into his briefs. He is half hard already, Blaine notes, just at the very thought, and the realisation of just how much Kurt wants him, makes Blaine reach up for a deep kiss which leaves them both breathless.

He wishes he had time to undress Kurt slowly, to tease him and make him weak with longing, but he doesn't, so he kneels again and takes him into the warm, wet heat of his mouth.

"Oh crap. Crap. I'm done for. Blaine...fuck. I love you," Kurt rambles, and then he actually giggles, unable to quite comprehend that his Blaine, his shy, sweet, innocent fiancé, is kneeling on the floor of his office giving him the most amazing blow job.

Blaine can't believe it either, and later he would come to realize that had he ever stopped for one second to think about it, he would never in a million years have had the guts to go through with it. But the idea had come to him in the coffee shop, and before he knew it, he was walking swiftly through the streets of Manhattan, with a very determined stride.

Kurt moves forward until he's resting on the edge of the chair, so Blaine can take him deeper, and he moans happily, his hands caressing the back of his neck. "Damn this is so good," he whispers. "So hot. Blaine...you're...oh my god."

Blaine looks up through his lashes, knowing full well it will drive Kurt crazy. He stops, smiles around him, and then pulls back slightly, running his tongue lightly around the head of his cock, and dipping it into the slit.

"Fuck!" Kurt cries, bucking upward, and then Blaine's mouth is around him once more. His tongue feels divine, and Kurt fists his hair, as he comes so hard he's left with white dots behind his eyes.

"Blaine!" he gasps. "I can't believe you just did that!"

"Hmm." Looking very pleased with himself, Blaine fastens Kurt's pants for him, and straightens up, leaning over for a long, drawn out and lazy kiss. "I'll see you at home," he whispers, his hand resting briefly on his cheek. "Love you, tiger."

"I love you too," Kurt says weakly, and then Blaine is gone, out into the large, open plan office. Kurt watches as he saunters away, and then he notices. "Blaine!" He runs through the office, well aware that people are looking, and he quickly steers Blaine out to the elevators. "Your hair," he whispers urgently. "It's crazy." He flattens it as best he can, and kisses his cheek, and then they're both blushing, knowing full well that the whole office now knows. "Aw damn it. You're so beautiful," he whispers, hugging him hard. "I love you so much."

"Hummel?"

He whirls around to see his boss, Kate, coming toward them, interrupting this awkward yet sweet moment, and he drops his arms to his side, and steps away from Blaine, his cheeks red. "Hi, Kate. Sorry. I was just...Blaine just..."

"Hi Blaine," she says with a smile. "Kurt, take the afternoon off."

"Huh? But the intern..."

"I'll have Lucy show her around. You can have the next one, since they'll be working under you anyway."

"I'm getting my own intern?"

"Not until October, but yes. Anyway. Take lover boy home. Go get your stuff."

Kurt bounces on his feet, clearly delighted. He doesn't dare look at Blaine, because he knows he is still dying of embarrassment, but he kisses Kate on the cheek as he passes, running back to grab his food and jacket.

"So Blaine, how are you?" Kate asks warmly.

"Oh! Good. Good. Yes. That's...Hmm. Yes. Good, thank you."

He looks so adorable, with his flushed cheeks and fluffy hair, that Kate sighs happily. "Is there any chance you're available for adoption?"

"Oh! Well actually, my best friend adopted me a while back. She...she calls herself my momma, so..." He trails off, not really sure why he divulged that to a woman he's only spoken with a handful of times. "Parents!" he suddenly remembers. "I have parents. One mom, two dads. Well actually, one dad died. The other one is Kurt's dad, but he's mine as well if you know what I mean?"

"Um...yes?" Kate replies, not having a clue. "Good. So, the wedding. Have you set a date?"

"We have," Blaine says, relieved to have an easier topic of conversation. "May eighteenth."

"A spring wedding. How lovely. Venue?"

"Yes."

"Ooh!" Kate claps her hands excitedly. "Where?"

"Oh...uh no, we don't have a venue booked. I was just saying yes, there will be a venue."

"Right." Kate hides her smirk, at this poor young man and his sex-addled brain. "You are so adorable."

"Um...thank you."

"Welcome. Enjoy your afternoon," she says with a wink, and she claps Kurt on the shoulder as she passes. "You've landed the cutest guy that ever there was," she whispers, and Kurt looks over to where Blaine stands, rocking on the balls of his feet.

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Look at him," she sighs. "He looks so innocent, and yet he comes marching in here to get it on with you in your office."

"Huh? No? That's not...we were um... Blaine just brought me lunch," he says, holding up the bag. "That's all."

"Oh I see! That makes sense. Yes. Because of course he would need to lower the blinds and lock the door just to deliver a sandwich to you. Mmhmm. My bad."

Kurt stands, stunned, but Kate just laughs and walks away, calling back over her shoulder. "I'll catch you tomorrow, Kurt."

* * *

><p>They are still laughing about the unexpected turn of events by the time evening comes, and they curl up in bed together, watching reruns of Saturday Night Live, though they're really more into each other, teasing with little kisses, and the smoothing of hands over bare expanses of skin.<p>

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Things are better, aren't they?"

"Definitely. I know there's still a long way to go, but as each day comes, I just feel so much weight lifting from my shoulders, you know?"

"Yes, I agree. I feel freer than I have in a long while, actually."

"Now I just need to tell dad we went to Baltimore," Blaine points out, then pulls a face. "That's gonna be fun."

"Do you need to tell him?"

"Yes I do," Blaine laughs, digging him in the ribs. "I'd feel awful keeping something like that from him."

"He'll probably fly out here to chastise you face to face."

Blaine laughs, kissing along Kurt's side, and then nipping at his ribs. "He's not gonna do that."

* * *

><p>Blaine pulls open the door and rolls his eyes. "You did not have to fly out here to chastise me face to face."<p>

Burt grins, and hugs him, followed by his mom, who gives him a kiss and straightens his bow tie.

"I told ya, I need to give you something," Burt says, as he strides into the apartment.

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

"This," he says, then smacks Blaine lightly on the back of his head. "You're an idiot."

"Here we go again."

"You could've been killed."

"They weren't gonna kill me," Blaine sighs. He's had this conversation at least ten times with Burt in the past week, and each time it has escalated into one or both of them yelling.

"You should've told me about this little plan when we were on vacation."

"Why?"

"So I could have come with you," Burt says gruffly, while Angie sits resignedly on the couch.

"Well that's new," Blaine says, as he sulks against the wall. "I didn't expect that."

"You're my boys," Burt explains, then he folds him up in his arms. "I didn't want you going into battle alone."

"It wasn't a battle," Blaine says, as patiently as he can. "I told you. I said all I needed to say, and we left. They didn't say a word, really. They were still trying to take it all in; especially all the stuff that Kurt revealed."

"Huh?" Angie suddenly comes to life. "What did Kurt reveal?"

"Dad didn't tell you about their little games?"

"Oh," Burt says quickly, looking truly terrified. "There's no need to..."

"What games?" Angie repeats firmly. "Bertram?"

"It's not..."

"He and Kurt, aided by Santana, seem to think they're a force to rival the Mafia. Somehow, a series of misfortunes have befallen the Lane family, including but not limited to; Simon mysteriously and suddenly losing every job he gets taken on for, Max getting kicked off the college football team, and James flunking his senior year. It appears that these two might have something to do with it."

"Are you kidding me?"

Blaine shakes his head, while Burt stares at the floor.

"Burt? Kindly tell me exactly who the idiot who could've gotten killed is? Blaine? Or you? You giant fool. Honestly."

"Sorry," Burt mumbles. "It's just... I needed to know I had some kind of revenge on them, you know? An eye for an eye and all that."

"If we all followed that mantra, the whole world would be blind and toothless," Angie snaps. "Now go and make yourself useful by fetching me a drink, while we wait for Kurt to come home."

Burt trails meekly out to the kitchen, while Blaine watches, then he goes over to the couch to sit by his mom. "You love him, don't you?"

"I do," she smiles. "Very much, but not in the way you're thinking."

"Like how then?"

"Like... I adore who he is. I love that he's so unintentionally funny. I love that he's caring and sweet, and not afraid to show his emotions, and I love that he's affectionate, you know? You and I, we both like cuddles. I think you know how wonderful it feels to have someone waiting with a warm hug when you get home from work."

"Isn't that all you want though?" Blaine asks, confused. "I know I've always said no to the idea, but if he makes you that happy, if you love him like you say you do... well, I wouldn't stand in your way."

"I need more," Angie explains gently. "It's sweet of you to say all that, but...if I was older, then maybe I'd consider staying with him, because it would be wonderful to have a companion for the rest of my life, but... well, there's something I need to tell you."

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?"

"By Burt?"

"By anyone!"

"I've never even kissed the man!"

"By anyone!" Blaine repeats.

"No!"

"Thank goodness. Because that I couldn't….no."

"I'm thinking of moving away."

"What?"

"My firm has offered me a transfer and promotion, to their branch in Riverside."

"Oh. Where's that?"

"California."

"What?!"

"Shh! Keep your voice down, because I haven't told Burt yet. Listen, Blaine. I love him dearly, I do, but I'm forty three. I'm not dead inside. Your dad and I...we get along great, but there's no spark, sexually, at all."

"So?"

"So we've talked about this at great length, and we both agree that we can carry on as we are, but that it probably wouldn't develop into anything more. Lima is a small town, Blaine. I'm sad for Burt, that he has to spend so long defending his choice to live with me to narrow minded idiots, who should keep their noses out of it. It saddens me to hear him telling Gina in the diner, or Liam's wife, or customers in the garage, that I'm just a friend, and then see the look on their faces which says they think he's lying. I thought I could do it, that it wouldn't matter what other people thought of us, but it's ruling our whole lives."

"So fuck them," Blaine snaps. "It's not their business."

"Don't curse. No it's not, but if I stay in Lima, whether I'm living with him or not, people will always assume we're together, and that's not fair to either one of us. I want the freedom to be able to go out on a date if I choose, and not have to worry about what other people think. I want that for Burt too."

"California though? That's so far away."

"But when we were there I felt like you did. I just loved it. Riverside is about an hour from the ocean, it's a better climate for me, it'd be a fresh start…. You three will always be my family, my darling boy, whatever happens. I will be with you for every holiday, birthday, Fourth of July... I'm never, ever, going to abandon you, or Kurt, or Burt, ever again."

"I don't want you to go," he says miserably, wiping at a few stray tears. "I mean, that's dumb, right? Because you don't live here anyway, but...ah. You know what? I'm just being selfish. You need to do this, I get that."

"I really do," she says softly, taking his hands. "Caring for Carl, being trapped in that awful marriage..." She stops, shaking her head. "I just... I feel like I need to start somewhere completely new. Where the friends I make are my friends, and it's up to me how much or how little I share. Burt has been my rock. I know maybe you don't see it as much, but he's healed me just like Kurt has healed you. I really do love him, Blaine, but I need to be by myself for a while.

Burt is an amazing support just like Kurt is to you and that's great, that's fantastic, but you and Kurt are about to enter into marriage together. That's not the case for us, and I feel like I need to fly the nest a little bit, however much it's gonna hurt."

Blaine hugs her, not trusting his voice not to break, and give way to bittersweet tears. "I love you," he eventually whispers, still shy expressing such sentiment to her. "And I'm really proud of you."

And he is. He never thought, when she first brought Spencer home, that his life would unfold the way it has. What is more, he had often thought that Angie would never be a person in her own right again, under his bullying and oppressive presence. So yes, he's proud that she is branching out on her own, claiming her life back for herself, and making a life of her own choosing. He just wishes it was closer to home, that's all.

Out in the kitchen, leaning against the wall as he brushes back endless tears, Burt Hummel feels exactly the same.


	29. Chapter 29

"I got a job!"

Kurt looks up from his laptop in surprise, and taking out his earbuds, he goes to him, sliding his arms around his neck and kissing his lips. "What?! Tell me more."

"Professor Scarbo asked me to tutor his kids," Blaine says, positively beaming with delight. "He has a thirteen year old son and a sixteen year old daughter. His daughter struggles with her math, but the rest is just giving her grades a boost, because she wants to go to Yale, and his son has just been diagnosed as dyslexic. They've put together a special study program at his school to help him, but suggested a tutor might be able to help him come to terms with it and boost his confidence. You know, to help him work around it rather than get weighed down with it. They suggested a couple of names, but Professor Scarbo asked me, because he thought I have the right temperament, and also, I'm young, so he figured I might be able to relate to him a little better. He asked me, Kurt! Me! And he wants me to do it four times a week, and he'll pay me two hundred dollars! I'm like...me! Why me? But yay me!"

"Yeah, yay you!" Kurt cries happily, planting a massive kiss on his lips. "That's the most words I've ever heard you say at one time," he teases. "You said yes, I take it?"

"I did! And oh, he wants me to go home with him tomorrow after class to meet the kids, and have dinner with them."

"That's lovely."

"And he told me to bring you."

"Huh? What? Oh...no." Kurt turns awkward and shy, stepping away to busy himself in the kitchen. "You don't want me there. I'll embarrass you. I don't fit with professors and smart kids like that. I'll say something dumb."

"Kurt!" Blaine follows him, closing the fridge door and manhandling him into his arms. "Listen to me. You are so smart! I don't get why you would think you wouldn't fit in. Not only are you smart, you're funny and witty, and your comments are the things that make you so great! Please come. I want you to. I want to show you off. Professor Scarbo means a lot to me, and I'd really like it if he could know you a little better, because you're my fiancé. You're the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Please?"

"I don't want to embarrass you."

"You never would!"

Kurt chews his bottom lip as he thinks, then looks up and gives a small nod. "Okay, I'll come. I can do demure for a couple of hours, I guess."

"Oh don't you dare," Blaine says, frowning. "If you come, I want you to be there as yourself, or not at all. Please, this is important to me. I want my Kurt there. The one who sails just a touch too close to the wind, my sassy guy. Please? I love you, Kurt. Demure is not in your repertoire."

"I don't embarrass you?"

"No."

"You really want me there?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I will. I'm terrified though, you realize that? Teenagers scare the shit out of me, and the last professor I really met was..."

"I know, but Scarbo isn't a closeted gay," Blaine laughs. "He really likes you."

"Yeah, he's nice but...he knows, doesn't he? He knows about Jeremy and I. I remember when I first met him, Jeremy and I were out for dinner, which was bizarre and awkward, since we never really went on dates, and he came into the restaurant with another professor. Jeremy told them that he tutored me, but I knew they didn't buy it."

"Yes, he knows. So what? He also knows that we've been together for three years, and that we're getting married in May. He's a good man, Kurt. He's not gonna sit there judging you on past mistakes. Have faith in yourself, because you're a beautiful person."

"It's only you who thinks I'm beautiful."

"No it's not."

"I love you," he says with a pout, and Blaine laughs and kisses his cheek.

"I love you too."

"And Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations on the job. You'll make the perfect tutor."

* * *

><p>"I didn't have a nightmare!"<p>

"Huh? What?" Kurt sits, rubbing at his eyes and trying to read the numbers on the clock. Six twenty. "Why do you always wake like a child on Christmas morning?"

Blaine ignores him, tackling him back against the pillows in a shower of kisses.

"You really are a puppy," Kurt says gruffly, laughing in spite of himself, as Blaine kisses all over his face.

"The dream," Blaine says excitedly, his face inches from Kurt's. "It didn't happen! The therapy is working!"

"We went to one session," Kurt says. "The therapy isn't reason the dream didn't happen. The reason it didn't happen is because these last few weeks, your confidence has soared again and with good reason. We've had a fun vacation, you've closed the door on those dickheads, you've had your test, got a job..."

"I haven't gotten the results though."

"I know that, but you will soon enough. While the results will have an effect on you of some sort, so much else has built you up recently. That's why the dream didn't happen, because you're out of that headspace now."

"I'm out of that headspace," he says slowly and quietly, sitting cross legged on the bed. "Yeah. I'm out of that headspace!"

"Now can we please go back to sleep?"

"I'm gonna go for a run. Wanna come with?"

"No I do not. I'll ride you later, that'll be workout enough."

"So charming," Blaine laughs, then he leaves Kurt to sleep.

He runs, he comes home and takes a shower, and then he makes breakfast. He likes Tuesdays. His third year schedule means he doesn't have to be in class until eleven, and Kurt likes to go in late too, meaning they often have breakfast together, and then take a leisurely stroll to campus before Kurt heads off to the subway.

Today, he would really like to stay home all day with Kurt, because he's still overjoyed that he managed to sleep for the whole night through, and he feels like having stupid, giggly, romantic sex, but he will settle for a flirtatious breakfast instead, but no sooner have they started, than Blaine's cell starts to ring.

"For fucks sake."

"I'll be two minutes," Blaine says, but when he takes the call, he turns pale and rushes into the living room.

"Right," he is saying, when Kurt follows him, and he hates not being able know what the other person is saying. "Okay. Yeah. Yeah."

"Hospital?" Kurt whispers, and Blaine gives a small nod, grateful when Kurt wraps his arms around him and holds him tight.

"So what does that...? Oh. Okay. And there's...yeah. Okay. Thanks. Thank you."

He hangs up and faces Kurt, blinking like an owl.

"Well?"

"My results," he chokes out, his eyes swimming with tears. "Um..."

"Oh Blaine." Kurt wants to fold him up and run far away, and he's already plotting his ultimate revenge, but Blaine suddenly grips him tightly around the waist, and looks him in the eye.

"Um... Kurt, I wondered if you'd like to have a baby with me one day? I mean, as in, me fathering a child."

"Huh? What?" Kurt stares, his heart beginning to race very slowly, Blaine starts to smile.

"Because I can, if you want to. I mean, I can swim. Well, you know I can swim. But they," he says, pointing downward. "They can swim. Very well."

"Blaine? You're fertile?"

"Yes!"

"We can have a baby?" Kurt says, the hysteria creeping in. "A curly haired one?"

"Yes!"

"Holy freakin hell!" Kurt screams, and he leaps into Blaine's arms. "Baby! Oh Blaine, we're gonna make so many babies. Blue eyed ones, dark haired ones...mini Kurt's, mini Blaine's. Oh my god! OH MY GOD!"

He suddenly becomes aware that Blaine is crying, an endless stream of tears. Relief, mixed with joy, mixed with the promise of their future, all conspire to make Blaine break down completely, and he sets Kurt back down, before he falls onto the couch. "I can have kids," he sobs, suddenly realizing just how very, very important this is to both of them. "I can father a child. Kurt..."

"My darling Blaine."

Kurt holds him close, soothing, kissing into his hair, and then, when he's ready, Blaine looks up and just beams. "You and I..."

"We've turned that corner, haven't we?" Kurt asks.

"It's all behind us, Kurt. Every last bit of it. We can move on."

"To our future, which will be filled with hundreds of dark haired babies."

"Um... one or two."

"Hundreds."

"One. Or. Two."

"Fifty seven, at least."

"I love you so very much, Kurt."

"I love you too, my beautiful Blaine, and I can't wait for us to be parents. We are gonna be like, the best parents ever. Shit." He suddenly stares off into the distance, shaking his head in disbelief. "I didn't know," he says, in total awe. "I didn't know how much this meant to me. How much I'm ready for this to happen. I mean, not right now, but...the future. Our future. Kids. Blaine... not just having a baby, but having the whole family life thing. I'm ready for it all. The house, the little picket fence...fuck, I'll even be happy to drive a minivan! What if we have a son and he plays little league?" Kurt cries happily. "Oh my gosh, how cute will he look? Oh. But who's gonna take him to all the practices?"

"If we have a son who does little league, then we say 'Oh Grandpa Burt, Blaine junior really needs to go to little league practice, and he'd really like it if you take him.'"

"Good one," Kurt smiles.

"And then we can have sex all over the house," Blaine grins.

"Oh, but what about the other kids?"

"Hmm, well, baby Kurt will be taking a nap, because we will be awesome parents who schedule our son's nap time for when the other son is out of the house, meaning the daddies can get it on."

Kurt thinks this over, nodding in agreement. "That's good. But what about daughter Kurt? Where will she be?"

"She'll be at softball. Oh, and we carpool with other parents, meaning we only have to take her every other week. This is a week that Sophia's mom from across the road takes her."

"Nice."

"And other mini Blaine is having a music lesson, so..." Blaine stops, kissing just below Kurt's ear. "We can have sex all over the house."

"Hold up. We can't do that if other mini Blaine is having his music lesson in the house."

"Fine. We're in the bedroom then, and the door has a lock."

"But what if baby Kurt wakes up?"

"Kurt, am I ever gonna get laid once kids come along? Because I might have to rethink this."

Kurt laughs loudly, overcome with happiness. "I will always want your hot piece of ass," he teases. "But right now, we need to get to school and work."

"What?" Blaine cries. "No fair."

"Hey! For those babies to happen, we need to work hard."

Kurt pulls Blaine to his feet, and together they get ready to leave the apartment. "I can have babies, Kurt," Blaine whispers happily, as they step out onto the street. "It's gonna happen."

* * *

><p>Their happiness continues. The dinner with Professor Scarbo and his family goes well. The kids seem nice, and not at all bothered that Blaine is engaged to another man. Once Amy, the daughter, learns that Kurt writes for Marie Claire, she is pretty much lost for the rest of the evening, totally enthralled and asking question after question, which Kurt answers happily. Ben, the son, is shy and quiet, his confidence at an all time low. Mrs Scarbo explains that he was so badly bullied at his old school, that they moved both children to a private school, which they had started only three weeks ago. He reminds Blaine very much of himself at thirteen, and as a result, he doesn't push conversation much during dinner, but afterward, when everyone heads into the den, he takes the time to have a quiet conversation with Ben in the corner of the room, and he is rewarded when the boy starts to open up a little more.<p>

Both Kurt and Blaine come away with their confidence boosted, and Kurt starts to realize that maybe teenagers aren't as scary as he first thought.

Of course, they stop in the doorway of their building to make out, and they're interrupted after a while by Brian.

"Hello lovebirds."

"Hey Brian," they chorus in unison, making him laugh.

"I'm shocked and surprised as ever to catch you in the doorway. Oh, I've been meaning to ask, are you two free this weekend? I thought we could catch up over dinner."

"Oh, we'd love to, but I'm going away Friday into Saturday," Kurt announces. "I'll be back around six or so. Free Sunday though."

"What?" Blaine asks in surprise. "Since when are you going away? Where are you going?"

"Work thing," Kurt says quickly. "Upstate somewhere. Makes more sense to stay over."

"Oh."

"Well...Sunday," Brian says tentatively, because Blaine looks very upset all of a sudden. "Dinner at my place? At seven? That gives me time to get to Loic to say goodnight."

"We'd love to," Blaine says, and Kurt nods his agreement.

As soon as they're in the apartment, Blaine follows Kurt around, as he hangs up his jacket and takes off his shoes. "How come you didn't mention this before?"

"Sorry."

"But how come?"

"I just forgot."

"So where are you going?"

"Upstate somewhere, I told you."

"Kurt," he warns, and Kurt turns around, looking wide eyed and innocent.

"What?"

"Are you planning something?"

"No! Look, I'm sorry I didn't mention it, it just slipped my mind, that's all. We've been busy dreaming of babies."

"I guess," Blaine says, but he still has a nagging feeling about what Kurt is up to, and by the time they settle down to sleep, he is convinced he's going to surprise Blaine with a wedding venue when he returns on Saturday.

His suspicions are only confounded when he calls home on Friday night, and Angie tells him that Burt has gone to visit a friend for the weekend, and he will be back on Saturday night. He doesn't mention that Kurt is also conspicuously absent as well, he just chats with her about her imminent move across the country, and then hangs up. He spends a long time that night trying to figure out if he's happy or annoyed that Kurt has taken it upon himself to choose a venue without him, but he figures it's one of those things that he'll just have to put down to Kurt being Kurt.

Six o'clock on Saturday evening brings Kurt back to the apartment, and Blaine is waiting.

"Hey."

It's strange, the way Kurt greets him, his voice higher than usual, and also, there's no kiss. He just busies himself putting his shoes in the hall closet, then walks really quickly into the bedroom with his bag, then the bathroom, and then he reappears again with the laundry basket.

"I'm gonna do some laundry." Blaine sits up on the couch in alarm, but Kurt is already heading toward the door again. "It's building up."

"I did it yesterday!"

"Yeah, but I have my clothes from yesterday, and..."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice clearly shows that he's hurt, and Kurt stops with his hand on the doorknob. "Please look at me."

"Ah...shit. Can't hide it forever," he mutters, and turns around, setting the laundry basket on the floor.

"What the hell happened to you?" Blaine yells, leaping to his feet. "Fucking hell, Kurt!"

Kurt has a large scrape down one side of his face, as if he's fallen hard on some concrete, and a fat lip, rather like he has been punched. "Have you been fighting?"

"No."

"You have!" Blaine says, still yelling loudly. "Oh my God." He takes Kurt's chin in his hand, tilting his face this way and that. The scrape is red and angry, the skin puffy and raw. It runs from his temple down to his jaw, and on closer inspection, Blaine can see bruising around the edges. "Kurt! Why? I mean, I get you have this rebellious streak but...what did dad say?"

Kurt's eyes go wide. "What?"

"I'm not a total idiot. I called home, and mom said he had gone to visit a friend. Please tell me you didn't get into a fight with a wedding planner."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"At the venue, or whatever. I know that's what you've been doing, both of you. You went to choose the location for our wedding, didn't you?"

"Uh...no, I didn't," Kurt answers honestly. "I have been with dad, though."

"Is he sick? Are you sick? Oh my god!"

"Calm down, Blaine, please. No one is sick. Look, I think you'd better sit down."

"You're killing me," Blaine whines, but he sits back on the couch and Kurt sits next to him.

"I have something for you, and I want you to promise me you won't get mad."

Blaine frowns, feeling completely confused. "What the hell is going on?"

"I got your money back," he says quietly, taking a check from his pocket. "Your savings."

Blaine stares at the check as everything starts to fall into place. "Holy shit, Kurt, you went back."

"I know it's over for you, and that's great, but I'm not as noble as you, Blaine, and neither is dad. Spencer took what was rightfully yours, and it's not okay that he is able to get away with it."

"Kurt!" He reaches out, smacking the top of his arm. "You idiot!"

"I love you, Blaine, and dad loves you too. We wanted you to have your money back, and so we went and got it for you."

"How?"

"What?"

"How did you get it? I'm assuming there was a fight?"

"Well, he wasn't happy," Kurt says with a shrug. "And he threw a punch, but we got in the house and..." He stops. He's not going to tell Blaine that he had broken Spencer's nose again, or that Burt had smashed every window of his truck before they fled. "He wrote the check," he shrugs, "Then literally threw me out onto the driveway. Nevermind. I have your money."

"This is insane," Blaine whispers, in shock. "I didn't need you to fight for me, Kurt. I went there and I said my piece, and I was happy to walk away."

"I know but, actually? I could have left it, but I knew I would spend my whole life looking at you and wishing your dream hadn't been so cruelly taken, babies or no babies. Dad and I discussed it, and I said I would wait to see how I felt after your results had arrived. Well, the answer was no different. And this isn't about me babying you, or fighting your battles. This is about me wanting justice for you, wanting a good thing to happen to a nice person. I know you're mad at me, and I'll take it. I'll take whatever you want to give, and I'll never be sorry, not one bit, because if I am? That's like being sorry for loving you, and that's never going to be the case."

"I don't know, Kurt," Blaine says, holding his head in his hands. "I just don't know what to think. Before, I guess when it wasn't affecting me directly, it was kinda funny to think I have this big bad fiance who plans these sneak revenge attacks. But now? Now I can see the results, and it's not revenge from afar, it's face to face, and you say he just wrote the check, but I'm not dumb. I know something went down, and I guess I'm scared. I'm scared that they'll find me again, to deliberately annoy you. I'm scared this will rage on and on. I'm scared that the nightmare will come back, when I'm sleeping, as well as when I'm awake.

"Maybe something did go down," he concedes. "But you know what? I promise you, faithfully, that I will never go looking for them again. And they'll never come back, Blaine. I think it's safe to say dad made him realize what the consequences would be if any one of them ever tried looking for any of us."

"Oh God."

Kurt can still hear the death threat ringing in his ears. It had shocked him, really, considering all he had ever really known from his dad was love. Sure, he had seen the occasional burst of temper, but seeing him that enraged was something else.

"I want you to promise me something else too," Blaine says, and Kurt tunes back in and takes notice. "If we have kids together, I want you to teach them things my way. I think, and mom thinks, and my dad thought too, that the best form of revenge is holding your head high and walking away. That doesn't make you weak, or a loser, it makes you stronger, and so much better than everyone else. My problem with all this, Kurt, is that you've lowered yourself to his level. I love you for getting my money back, for wanting to do that for us, but I don't like the way you or dad have gone about it, and I need for our children to be taught about this the Anderson way, you hear me? I love you, and dad, with all of my heart, and you have both taught me so much about life and love, but on this we don't agree."

"Okay." Kurt nods, and takes his hand. "I promise we will teach our kids that they don't go seeking revenge."

"And neither you nor dad will go seeking it for them," Blaine adds, and he knows Kurt was already thinking that one over, because he sighs heavily. "I mean it! What if we have a girl? And she has a shitty ex-boyfriend? I don't want you hunting some teenager down and nearly killing him! I'll want you at home with me, holding our little girl, and teaching her that she's prettier, smarter, and brighter than he will ever know, and that he's not worthy of her. Please, Kurt, tell me you understand all of this."

"I understand, and I promise you," Kurt says seriously. "If you take the money."

Blaine thinks. He looks at Kurt, who looks so scared that he's gone too far, and his heart fills with love for a man who would put himself in so much danger, just to get back what was rightfully his. "I'll take the money, and we won't ever revisit this," Blaine says eventually.

"Thank you!" Kurt tackles him back against the arm of the couch, and kisses his cheeks, eyelids and nose. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I was only trying to finally make all this right, and I knew you would freak out if I told you what we were up to, so..."

"Well I still am freaking out, internally," Blaine admits. "And when I speak to dad, you can be sure I'm going to give him complete hell after all he gave to me for going there, and I didn't even hit anyone! He's sixty three! What in the world was he thinking?"

"He was thinking he loves you more than he loves his own life," Kurt says seriously.

"Wow." It hits home for Blaine then, and he realizes. He can't preach to Kurt about not seeking revenge, because he knows, that if their daughter does ever have a shitty boyfriend? He'll be the first one to throw a punch. He's not about to divulge that right now, though.

"Yeah, well," he stammers instead. "He's a moron, and we will be having words."

"And as for me?"

"As for you..." Blaine grins, sliding down the couch and pulling Kurt on top of him. "You're just a badass, Mr Hummel. A total rebel, and I love you for it."


	30. Chapter 30

Glee finale day. I'm feeling incredibly emotional. Anyway, just a note to say this fic will now update daily for a week. Chapter 37 will be the final chapter.

* * *

><p>The coming months prove to be busy, as Kurt becomes swamped at work, and Blaine by his studying and his new tutoring job. They take the time to tour wedding venues though, and eventually decide on a charming hotel on the Upper East Side, which makes Burt blanch when he hears how much it will cost.<p>

Still, he foots the bill, and then pays a hefty deposit into Blaine and Kurt's account so they can pay caterers, florists, and photographers.

It's hard to find time to just be together, but they manage it when they can, and as Blaine points out, they have an eternity. Kurt finds it harder to remain upbeat and happy though, the stress of planning his wedding is enough, but everything is made worse when it's announced he is getting an intern.

Kurt knows they have their uses, but he also knows he has no time to talk through each step of his job, while some eager college kid sits and takes notes. Blaine points out that he himself is a college kid, and Kurt points out that he's also an over eager puppy. Their argument rages until nearly two in the morning.

He trails into work reluctantly the next day, tired, and not looking forward to his day in the slightest, so Blaine is surprised when he returns singing happily, and with flowers.

"I'm a grumpy ass, and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, you should be," Blaine says, but there's a smile on his face, and he kisses Kurt tenderly. "I love you, tiger. Now what gives? You were simmering with resentment when you left this morning, so what turned your frown upside down?"

"My intern, actually," Kurt says, as he heads to the fridge. "It's that guy who did some modelling for us back in the summer, Solomon."

"The one who asked you out?"

"Yeah." He hands Blaine a beer. "Cheers."

"Uh... isn't he old?"

"Oh Blaine, everyone's old compared to you. He's twenty five."

"Old to be an intern. Anyway, he's a model."

"He wants a change. I don't think he realized how hard it was going to be to make it as a model, but he loves fashion, so he's going to keep modeling while he interns for us, and then decide what he wants to do."

"He asked you out."

"You said that already."

Blaine sighs, and turns back to his sauce on the stove. "Just weird, that's all."

"It is not weird!" Kurt cries in exasperation. "He apologized endlessly when he found out I was engaged, and the first thing he asked me today was how the wedding plans were going."

"Okay, fine, fine."

"Doesn't sound fine to me."

Blaine wants to tell him that no, it's not fine. It's all very far from fine, and he's not happy about it at all, but there's been enough stress and tension recently, so he just says silent. For Kurt though, his silence says enough.

It is an awkward dinner, with Kurt pushing most of his food around his plate with his fork, occasionally taking small mouthfuls, but it all seems to get stuck going down, so he finally pushes his plate to one side.

Blaine looks up with a frown. "Okay, what's up?"

"You know what's up."

"No I don't! You're just being all weird."

"No, you're being weird," Kurt counters. "Getting all jealous about Solomon."

"What? Oh come on, Kurt. The guy likes you enough to ask you out, and now he's going to be working closely with you for the next six months. I'm entitled to be a little pissed off about it."

"But why? How does it affect you? I told you he apologized, he's perfectly accepting and understanding of the fact that I'm engaged."

"I know you say that but..."

"You don't trust me to control myself around a hot guy?"

"You think he's hot?" Blaine cries. "Oh great! Just great!"

Throwing his napkin down, he storms into the bedroom and slams the door, suddenly wishing their apartment were four times the size, so he actually had somewhere to escape to. Of course Kurt follows, never one to let an argument drop.

"Not now, Kurt, please. Just gimme five minutes."

"No. That sounded wrong, and I apologize. He's a model, Blaine. He's not ugly, but he's not you. I love you, I want you, not anyone else. The reason I'm upset is because it feels like you don't trust me."

"I trust you implicitly," Blaine tells him, looking up with tears in his eyes. "I just don't trust him. I don't know him, and all that I do know about him is that he asked you out, and now he's very conveniently interning in your department. You hate interns, and usually make a junior writer train them, so why are you keeping him?"

"Ugh. Blaine! You say you trust me, yet you're questioning why I'm keeping him? He's twenty five. He's not gonna want to intern for some college grad. Just..."

A loud knock comes on the apartment door, making Blaine jump, and Kurt sigh in despair. "Just get the door, please," he snaps, and goes into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

"Wait!"

He rushes out again, stopping Blaine in his tracks. "No! I'm sorry. The door. I shouldn't have asked you to... Oh God, Blaine, I'm sorry. I'll answer, of course I will."

"No, it's fine," Blaine mumbles, swallowing the panic and fear he can feel building. "Gotta grow up sometime, right?"

"Stay there."

It's an order, and he gives in, standing in the middle of the living room while Kurt pulls open the door to find Brian on the other side.

"Hello boys," he says with a smile, and he seems almost nervous when Kurt tells him to come inside. "I won't stay," he says, giving a little wave to Blaine. "I was just wondering if you had any plans for Saturday?"

"Not that I know of," Blaine says, giving a shrug. "But Kurt likes to be in charge, so you'd better ask him."

"What? Blaine! Why is that...?" Kurt trails off, deciding now is not the time. "No, Brian, we don't."

"Oh, well, you see, it's mine and Loic's anniversary. He's um...he's really quite well at the moment." He smiles, as he thinks of his husband waiting for him. "And I wanted to take him out to celebrate. I was wondering if you two would come with me? I mean, I know that sounds strange," he says with a laugh. "Asking for a double date on your anniversary, it's just... sometimes conversation can get difficult, or stilted, when he doesn't remember things and... well, it's fine at the home, you know? Because it's just us in his room, but if we're out... I don't want it to be awkward," he finishes quietly. "I think this is the last anniversary we will have together, and I just want it to be perfect."

"Oh Brian, we will absolutely be there," Kurt says, and he feels like crying when Blaine appears at his side and takes his hand. "Hey, you know what? Why don't you let Blaine and I take you both to afternoon tea at that place I went to for my thirtieth?"

"Yeah, you know, Loic would love it there," Blaine says, "He likes art, right? The owner's son is an artist, and she sells his paintings. They're all on the walls, so there's plenty to look at and talk about, plus the cake is good."

"That would be lovely," Brian agrees. "But I'm taking you two, not the other way around."

"Uh-Uh," Kurt declares, spinning him around and marching him toward the door. "No way. Blaine and I owe you enough already."

"Yeah, let us repay you in cake," Blaine says. "Now go tell your husband he's got a date on Saturday."

Brian laughs and shakes his head. "If you insist. Thank you, both."

"Anytime," Kurt says sincerely, and he gives him a warm hug. "We'll see you Saturday."

He closes the door quietly, turning to look at Blaine, who looks close to tears.

"We're idiots, huh?"

Kurt nods, taking a step toward him. "Yeah."

He is grateful when Blaine holds his arms out, and he goes to him, sinking into his embrace. "I love you."

"I love you too," Blaine murmurs. "And I'm sorry. Please know that I trust you with my whole heart."

"I do. I do know that."

"And we're gonna get married, and have our happy ever after, I promise you."

Kurt nods against him, not ready to let go yet, and they stay there for the longest time, until Blaine pulls back and kisses his lips. "Wanna watch a movie together?"

"Actually, I really want to finish my dinner," Kurt admits, making Blaine laugh. "I've suddenly found my appetite again."

* * *

><p>Things are much better. They are loving, kind, and attentive to one another, and by the time Saturday arrives, both feel like they're back on track. Kurt doesn't mention that Solomon starts at the office on Monday, he figures Blaine will ask if he wants any information, and they head over to the tea room, to meet Brian, and for the first time, Loic.<p>

Both can see that Loic was once a very striking man. His hair is mostly silver, but it still holds flecks of jet black too. He has dark eyes and a strong jaw line, and even though he is now stooped and leaning hard on a cane, he is tall.

Brian looks so happy and proud to be with him, that both Kurt and Blaine nearly cry right there and then, as he carefully settles him into a chair, before taking his own seat next to him.

"Loic? Meet Kurt and Blaine, my friends. I've mentioned them a few times. Kurt is a writer and Blaine is an engineering student at NYU."

"Nice to meet you," Blaine says, reaching across to shake hands. "Brian tells us a lot about you."

"Yeah," Kurt says, as he follows suit. "He never shuts up. He's a romantic old sap."

"He is," Loic says, in a thick French accent, then he stares at Kurt and Blaine for a long time. "Kurt and Blaine," he says, trying it out. "Ah! They are ze ones who have sex on ze door, no?"

"What?" Blaine cries, throwing his menu down.

"Oh my goodness, Loic!" Brian cries, completely mortified. "You choose now to remember that?"

"Is it them?" he asks with a frown. "Ze loud ones?"

"Yes," Brian hisses, his face red. "Now please be quiet."

"We have never!" Blaine cries indignantly, but Kurt stops him with a hand on his arm.

"We have," he says quietly. "When I came home from London."

"Oh." Blaine stops. "Well, then we did, yes. Yes."

"I'm so sorry," Brian says earnestly. "I heard you as I was coming down the stairs, and I thought it was funny, so I told Loic, not thinking..."

"Do not be embarrassed," Loic says, patting Blaine's hand. "You are young and in love. Ze boy loves you!" he says, gesturing to Kurt. "Sex on ze door is nothing. Brian and I, we used to..."

"No!" Brian cries, and Kurt finds himself completely enthralled by their dynamic, which seems so similar to his and Blaine's. "Let's just order some tea, shall we? Hopefully it'll be hot enough to burn your tongue, Loic."

The double date is a huge success. Though Loic sometimes sits in silence, locked in his own world, he is happy, holding Brian's hand, and smiling across at Kurt and Blaine. He can also tell them about when he and Brian first met, and he does. Blaine is completely entranced by the romantic tale, and then, when he asks how Blaine "snared ze one with ze hair", they both recount their own tale.

"This is the happiest memory I've made in a long time," Brian tells Kurt. They sit side by side, watching as Blaine carefully leads Loic around the shop to look at the art.

"I'm glad. Loic is a wonderful man."

"Oh he is. I wish you could have known him when... well. It is what it is. I'm thankful for times like this, though. He probably won't remember a thing about it tomorrow, but I know that right now, in this moment, he's happy."

"And you?"

"As happy as I'll ever be with him like this." He sighs, then gives a bright wave to Loic when he turns around. "I love him, but I also love the person he was, and I'm grieving the loss of that person, while trying to come to terms with him being this way now. Did you notice when I poured the tea? He couldn't remember how to hold the cup, so he was watching Blaine. He can't write, can't read. He knows he likes art, and he can tell you he was a painter, but he can't make the connection. He can't tell you what a painter is. He wouldn't recognise his own work. He can tell you we met in Paris, but he doesn't know he grew up in Brittany, in a small rural town. He doesn't remember all the trouble we went through. The family members we had to cut out, because of their hatred toward us, the apartments, jobs, and friends we lost, because we went public as a couple. I have those memories, but no one to share in them with me, and the one person who could, can't."

"Oh Brian."

"But he knows he loves me. Today, at least. That has to mean something, right?"

"I think it means everything," Kurt says, squeezing his hand. "And that's the most important memory of all."

* * *

><p>"We've been thinking," Kurt starts the following week, when he, Blaine, Brian and Loic are having coffee at the Met. "About our wedding."<p>

"What wedding?" Loic asks, confused.

"Mine and Blaine's"

"You cannot marry a boy," Loic says, with a shake of his head. "It is not allowed."

"It is now," Blaine says gently. "And Kurt and I are getting married in May."

"Can I come?"

"Yes! Kurt and I would love you to come. You have to wear a suit, though, otherwise Kurt will freak. And it's law that you can't look better than him."

"My hair will never be as magnifique," Loic sighs. "When I was a young man, maybe, but now I am forty one, it is all downhill."

"Forty one?" Brian asks. "Gosh, I wish I lived in your world sometimes."

"Anyway," Kurt says, steering the conversation back around. "Brian. Would you officiate for us?"

"What?" he asks, in total shock. "Me? Why?"

"Well, we had a three hour fight over who got to ask dad to be best man. In the end, we decided both of us, and we want him to walk us down the aisle together. Angie is giving a speech at the reception, so is dad, and...for my sins, Santana is our maid of honor. That leaves you."

"Oh you don't need to worry about me."

"Well actually, we do," Blaine interrupts. "You're a wonderful friend to both of us, and you helped us so much when I was attacked. We want you involved in our wedding, because we love you and we value your friendship. So please do it. Please?" Blaine looks across at Brian, and gives his best pouting face, which makes Loic laugh loudly.

"He looks like...chien, non?" he asks Kurt, momentarily forgetting his English words. "Un petit chien."

"Dog? Yes," Kurt nods. "A little dog. That's what I call him, actually," he confides, while Blaine tries to hide. "My puppy. I'm tiger."

"I can't believe you've just given away our pet names!" Blaine cries. "Kurt!"

"Chien, chien," Loic says, laughing. "I call you that now. I don't know your real name."

"That's not fair, because I don't know if you're lying or being genuine!"

"Blaine?" Loic asks, and Blaine points across at him.

"You do know it."

"Chien."

"Is now a good time to interrupt you two, and say that yes, I'll do it?" Brian asks suddenly.

"You will? Oh thank you, thank you!" Kurt cries, and hugs him tight. "Come on. Let's go see some art."

* * *

><p>It quickly becomes habit that the four of them will visit an art gallery or cafe every weekend. Loic likes Kurt and Blaine a lot. He doesn't always know them, but when he's reintroduced, he always remembers them as "the ones who had sex on the door."<p>

Blaine and Kurt love Loic in return, and Brian finds himself living for their weekly double date, because he finally feels as if there are people in the world, other than him, who can see what a brilliant man he once was.

After a Christmas back in Ohio, New Years plans are made for the four of them to have dinner in Brian's apartment. Loic is not good that night, continually panicking about where he is, and why he can't get out the door, which is actually Brian's third floor window. He doesn't know who anyone is and in the end, it is Blaine's quiet, calm manner that convinces Loic to get in a cab with him and he delivers him safely back to the nursing home before the first course has even been served.

Dinner is a sombre affair, with no one feeling much like eating at all.

"You should have had your party," Brian says eventually.

"Oh, no, really."

"Really, Kurt. You two are young. You shouldn't be wasting your time on Loic and I. He's not going to get better, only worse."

"Brian, Kurt and I aren't wasting our time," Blaine says. "We love both of you. Loic is...he's funny, smart, fun to be with. I know tonight was rough, but we're not about to bail out of a friendship because of it."

"You're so sweet," Brian says, with a sad smile. His eyes shimmer with tears, as he gathers their plates, and looks forlornly at the spot set for Loic. "I don't think he'll come here again," he admits. "And that breaks my heart."

"Well this sucks," Kurt declares loudly, following Brian to the kitchen. "And the way I see it, we have three options. We can call it a night at...ooh...nine thirty, or we can all get insanely drunk together, and have Blaine spill all his sex secrets. Or... we can get our coats and boots on and take a cold walk down to the retirement home to see if Loic is settled and to wish him a happy new year. I know which one I'd rather."

"I don't think I can handle hearing any more of what you two get up to," Brian laughs. "I'll get my coat."

Loic is still agitated, but he feels more secure in familiar surroundings, and gradually calms down. He asks over and over who they all are, and though it hurts Brian each and every time, he smiles softly and tells him he's his husband.

Loic listens intently, as Brian reminds him of how they met. He marvels at the fact that he didn't marry a good catholic girl, like his mother had wanted, and he laughs when Blaine reminds him that he calls him 'Chien.'

It seems to be going as okay as it can, until Loic suddenly shakes his head and begins to cry.

"Oh, mon amour, what's wrong?" Brian asks. He wants to hold him in his arms, but with Loic not knowing who he is, he doesn't feel like he can.

"I don't know who this man is, of which you speak," he says sadly. "You tell me it is me, but I do not know. I do not know this life. I am old. I feel so tired, and I do not know the life I have lived to make me old. You," he says, looking at Brian. "You are a kind man. If I fell in love with you, I am glad, because you have a good heart. You say we had a good time, yes? Many years of happiness?"

"We did," Brian nods, desperately trying to keep it all together. "We still have happy times. Mostly when we visit art galleries with these two. And now I see Kurt and Blaine embarking on their journey, and it reminds me of when you and I were first starting out."

"Why is this happening to me?" Loic asks, in a small voice. "Why are you good people all here, telling me things, and I just can't remember? You know that? It is not that I don't want to recall, because I do," he whispers, and Blaine has to turn away as his own tears start. "I wish I could remember any of it."

"So do I," Brian admits. "But you know what? I'm here. Always. I'm right by your side, and I will be forever. I'm always going to love you, Loic, no matter what, and I will share every memory I have with you, if you'd like to hear them."

"Yes," he says, and he reaches out to take his hand. "I rather think I would."

Kurt and Blaine return home, leaving Brian to sit with his husband long into the night, and for them, the New Year rings in with Brian recalling the time they had visited the Sistine Chapel and Loic had loudly proclaimed in front of a group of nuns, that he could paint better frescoes. It's a funny tale, and it makes Loic laugh, but he's forgotten it within the hour, and he will never remember it again.

* * *

><p>"Eleven thirty," Kurt says, throwing his keys onto the table. "What a New Year's this is turning out to be."<p>

"Go get ready for bed," Blaine says kindly. "Put pajamas on."

"We're not going to watch the ball drop?"

"Just do as I say," Blaine says, steering him toward the bedroom.

Blaine moves fast. As soon as Kurt is in the bathroom, he gathers everything he needs, and quickly changes into his own pajamas and waits.

And waits.

"Jesus, Kurt, what are you even doing in there?"

"Flossing!"

"You've been twenty minutes!"

"So? Listen, boy, I don't want you to lose interest in me, so I'm gonna keep taking care of myself. Someone who takes pride in their appearance is sexy, right?"

"Definitely, but it's ten minutes until midnight, and I'd like to kiss you whether you've flossed or not."

Kurt gives in and pulls open the door, his eyes going wide. "Blaine!"

"A blanket fort, cheese and crackers, and a bottle of merlot," Blaine says proudly.

"Better than a blanket fort!" Kurt cries happily. "It's a duvet and pillow fort. Oh! I love you for this!"

"Get in then."

Blaine has set it up facing the window, their own duvet and pillows spread on the floor, with the guest room duvet ready to pull over them. Draped over the top of the couch and the armchair is the spare duvet and once Kurt is settled, he feels cocooned and safe.

"This is perfect!"

"Right? I figured we could do to escape for a bit. So," Blaine says, pouring two glasses of wine. "Happy New Year, Mr Hummel. Here's to us becoming husbands."

Kurt grins, clinking their glasses together. "Here's to us having a love like Loic and Brian, and here's to them."

"May we all find peace and happiness," Blaine says, and Kurt agrees before pulling his fiance into a deep kiss.

They watch the fireworks together from the comfort of their fort, making random observations and easy conversation as they eat and drink.

They discuss everything, from how Blaine thinks Amy and Ben are doing under his tutorage, to how Kurt wants to go to Maine on their honeymoon, but Blaine wants to go back to California, and also about his mom's imminent move there, now just two weeks away.

It's nearly one in the morning, when Blaine yawns and settles down on his front, hugging his pillow. "Are we going to sleep here?"

"Yes," Kurt declares. "I'm not wasting the opportunity to sleep in a fort."

"What about making love in the fort, too?"

"Well, it seems rather silly to refuse," Kurt says with a smile, as he settles down on his side next to him. "You did go to all this trouble."

Blaine rolls them over, until he's on top of Kurt, where he kisses him sweetly. "I love you, Kurt. I can't wait to marry you."

"You kinda have to wait," Kurt points out, then he gives a little whimper, when Blaine kisses behind his ear. "Cause the hotel is booked, and we...oh! We have guests coming and... oh, I'm just gonna quit being funny and let you take me."

"Good plan."

Blaine loves to tease, and like this, lying down on the soft duvet, and buzzing from the wine, Kurt is happy to let him. He seeks out every ticklish spot and his tongue maps out the contours of Kurt's muscles as he moves over him.

He opens Kurt with his tongue, while Kurt takes him deep in his throat, and then, finally, he enters him. Kurt wraps his legs tight around Blaine's waist and draws him down, seeking his lips with his own, and needing the closeness of their bodies pressed together.

Blaine is unhurried, taking his time to move slowly inside of Kurt. "Damn, Kurt, I love you. You're incredible, you know that?"

"I love you too, Blaine. I love this. Us. Making love like this. I love that we have this connection."

"I kinda really want to come," Blaine admits with a laugh. "But I also don't want it to end."

Kurt reaches up, his fingers lightly grazing his cheek. "Come. Come with me. We've got the rest of our lives, Blaine."

He prolongs it for as long as he can, until Kurt is there too, and they climax together. Sleepy and sated, they haphazardly clean up, and then Kurt curls himself around Blaine's warm body, pulling the other duvet over them both.

"You are the most beautiful person I know," Kurt whispers, kissing the back of his neck. "Don't ever change, okay?"

"I won't, not while I have you."

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"You know how Brian said we remind him of him and Loic?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I hope we still have a love like theirs when we're old. I noticed, tonight, that even though Loic didn't know who Brian was, he was falling for him all over again. Did you see that? As Brian told him their story, he was totally taken with him, the way he talked. He couldn't stop watching him, and then, even though he was essentially a stranger to him tonight, he reached out, and took his hand. He admitted his fears to him, he wanted him to know that he wished he could remember. I hope that's us. I hope we fall in love over and over again."

"We will," Blaine reassures him, raising his hand to his lips. "I fall for you every day. I look at you from a distance and think, wow, he's all kinds of amazing. I listen to you talk, and nothing else in the world matters. I feel your arms around me, and I know I'm home. Marrying you means I get to fall in love with my best friend over and over again, and that's why I can't wait."

"Blaine?"

Blaine closes his eyes and smiles, ready for Kurt to ramble on until he's asleep. "Hmm?"

"My left hand is squashed under your hip, and it hurts. Could you move?"

Blaine laughs loudly, and lifts his hip, before settling back down again. "Better?"

"Much. And just so you know? All that you said was perfect, and I have nothing more to add."

"Really?" Blaine asks in surprise. "First time for everything."


	31. Chapter 31

Loic does not improve. Unable to go out anymore, Kurt and Blaine take to visiting him once a week at the home instead. It means far more to Brian than it does to Loic, who doesn't know who these boys are week after week.

Blaine has the quietest twenty first birthday Kurt has ever known, but he's insistent that it's all he wants, and so Kurt goes along with his plans, and holds his tongue. Burt flies in for a long weekend, and Angie arrives too, after just a week in California. Blaine is warmed by the reunion between her and Burt, who act as if they've been parted for months, rather than just seven days.

They all go out for dinner, joined by Santana, Brian, Professor Scarbo and his family, and Blaine is happy with that. More than happy in fact, and despite Kurt's best efforts to get him totally drunk, he resists, sticking to two glasses of champagne, which make him light headed enough for his liking.

Both remain busy in their own lives, leaving precious little time for wedding planning, and no time at all for dates together. Blaine misses the times when they would spontaneously go out to the movies, or when Kurt would ask him out on a date, flirting endlessly. Now it's all studying, and tutoring Amy and Ben for him, and work, work, work for Kurt, and with fashion week coming up, it's only going to get worse.

After a long day at school, when every class seemed to either drag on or go right over his head, Blaine is looking forward to getting home and seeing his fiancé. He knows that on Mondays Kurt is usually home before him. He's hopeful that he might be able to convince him to stop work for a while and take a bath with him, and he might suggest they call for pizza rather than cooking.

"Hey beautiful," he calls, as he opens the door. He kicks off his shoes and hangs his coat, then steps into the living room, and stops in shock.

An extremely good looking black man sits on his couch, next to Kurt, and the laptop is positioned across both their laps. The laptop he had bought Kurt with his savings all those years ago.

Realizing this must be Solomon, Blaine swallows and gives a small smile. "Hey. Um...I'm sorry, I didn't..."

"Did you pay the florist?" Kurt asks, by way of greeting, and Blaine frowns, trying to remember.

"Uh..."

"Simple question, Blaine, did you pay the florist?"

"Um... hello," he says to Solomon. "I don't think we've met."

"Ugh, fine," Kurt huffs. "Solomon, Blaine, Blaine, Solomon. Did you pay the florist?"

Blaine stands awkwardly in the room, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, as he tries to think. In all honesty, he can't remember Kurt ever asking him to do that, but he's not about to admit that now. "I think I did, yeah."

"Well you didn't!" Kurt cries. "Because there was a message on the answering machine asking if we still wanted to go ahead with our order! One thing, Blaine! I asked you to do one thing!"

Blaine wants to fight back, to tell Kurt that it's not just one thing, it's a multitude of things, and he just doesn't have time, but he's also been raised not to air dirty laundry in public. He doesn't know the guy sitting on his couch, in his living room, so he just gives a small nod and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"I'll call them now. Is um... are you okay for drinks? Can I get you anything?"

"Another beer would be great, thanks," Solomon says, raising his empty bottle.

"Aren't you supposed to be working?"

"Well actually, this isn't work," Solomon confides with a wink. "Kurt's helping me out with some ideas I had. I want to try and get a feature in the magazine, you know? So your wonderful fiancé offered to help."

"How fantastic of him," Blaine mutters, then fetches two beers and sets them on the coffee table, not at all surprised when only Solomon says thank you.

He shuts himself away in the bedroom and calls the florist, then agonises about what to do. He needs to study, but he's left his books and his laptop in the living room. There is a tv in the bedroom, but he doesn't want to waste the next however long staring at a show he's not really watching, and worrying about what's going on out there.

Steeling himself, he walks as confidently as he can back into the living room, and settles in the armchair, pulling his laptop open. "I've paid it," he says quietly, and Kurt gives a small nod. He puts his earbuds in, opens a book, and rests it next to him, then turns his attentions to the screen. He quickly realizes Kurt is watching him, and he looks up, pulling one earbud out. "Did you say something?"

"I asked what you were doing."

"Oh. Studying. We have this test on Thursday in my Astrophysics elective. It's focusing on inter planetary..."

"Whatever. Do you have to do that here?"

"What?"

"Study. Do you have to study here?"

"Um...well...I usually do."

"But we're trying to work."

"I thought it wasn't work?"

"Blaine."

"Fine. I'll go in the kitchen."

"Oh let him stay," Solomon says to Kurt suddenly. "Come on. He can't help having school work to do. Education is important when you're that age. I'm sure he won't get in our way, will you Blaine?"

"I uh... no," he says quietly, feeling like a kid who's been allowed to stay up past his bedtime, and Kurt gives a sigh.

"Fine."

And Blaine returns to his laptop screen, but little studying gets done. He mulls over Solomon's comment, trying to decide if it was a veiled insult or not, and he watches him out of the corner of his eye.

Blaine isn't dumb. He can see Solomon is smitten with Kurt in a big way. He laughs loudly at anything remotely funny, gives him playful nudges, and, in Blaine's opinion, sits far closer to Kurt than he needs to.

He simmers for a while. He can tell Kurt is still angry at him, but he'll be damned if he'll give Solomon the satisfaction of thinking there's problems in their relationship, so he sets his laptop down, and kneels on the floor in front of Kurt.

"I'm sorry," he says, even though he doesn't think he should be the one to apologize. "Paying the florist totally slipped my mind. That was dumb of me, I know. I'm just a little overworked right now. I love you, though, and you'll look beautiful on our wedding day, whether there's a backdrop of flowers or not."

"Oh there had better be flowers," Kurt retorts, but then he smiles, and his whole face softens as he tenderly takes Blaine's face in his hands. "I love you too, and I'm sorry for going off on you like that. I just want our day to be perfect."

"Kurt, we could get married in a barn and it would still be perfect," Blaine says, resting their foreheads together. "As long as we get to be husbands."

"Oh you two are cute!" Solomon interjects, and though Blaine wants to punch him, he is warmed by the fact that Kurt takes no notice of him at all.

"Wanna get pizza tonight?" he asks, and Kurt bites his lip, knowing full well that a night of pizza and beer usually leads to hot sex. As most things do.

"Definitely."

Satisfied, Blaine kisses him softly and returns to the armchair, looking over at his fiancé every so often and grinning. He thinks he's won the first round.

He's not impressed the next evening though, when he returns home at nine and Solomon is there again. Still, he smiles as brightly as he can, and this time he wedges himself on the end of the couch next to Kurt, and is thrilled when Kurt puts an arm around his shoulders, and kisses his cheek.

"I miss you on Tuesday's."

"Hmm, I know, but think of the money."

Kurt grins, and Solomon is forgotten, as he leans in close and whispers in Blaine's ear. "I'm thinking of the babies. Our babies. I can't stop thinking about it."

"Kids?" Solomon laughs. "Kids with a kid? Kurt, you can't!"

"I'm twenty one," Blaine snaps. "And how Kurt and I choose to live our lives is no concern of yours."

"Oh come on, I'm sure Solomon didn't mean it like that," Kurt tries, but Blaine is already on his feet.

"Well I think he did," he retorts, and goes into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

"I'm sorry," Solomon says into the silence. "I didn't mean to upset him."

"It's okay. He's... he gets really sensitive about being seen as a kid, that's all."

"Why though?"

"Well," Kurt gives a small smile, and turns back to the laptop. "We all have our insecurities."

"Maybe he thinks you'll find someone closer to your own age."

"Nah." Kurt laughs softly. "He knows he's all I'll ever need."

"Is it hard? Finding common ground with such a large age gap?"

"Oh Blaine and I have no common ground whatsoever, except for the fact that we love one another and our family with our whole hearts."

"And is that enough?"

Kurt frowns, annoyed by the insinuation. "Of course. I wouldn't have proposed otherwise."

"Yeah, of course," Solomon agrees. "I just hope it will always be enough for someone as fiery and ambitious as you, that's all."

Behind the bedroom door, Blaine sinks to the floor and holds his head in his hands. Solomon has triumphed in round two.

* * *

><p>Disorientated, and filled with terror, Blaine sits upright in bed, screaming. Kurt is by his side in seconds, holding him close, soothing, kissing away his tears. "I'm here, I'm here," he whispers. He tries not to cry. After three months of therapy, and a long period of happiness, Kurt had assumed the nightmares had left Blaine for good. It's like he's been slapped in the face with iced water to feel Blaine trembling in his arms again, and clinging to him for all he's worth.<p>

"Shh, shh, I've got you, I've got you. Come on," he soothes. "I love you, my puppy, I love you."

"Solomon," Blaine gasps, through his wretched sobs. "He's going to take you."

"Oh Blaine, no he's not! No one could ever take me from you. I'm yours forever, I promise you."

"No, he is, Kurt, I know it! He's gonna work his way into your life, point out all my flaws, and then, one day, I'll come home and you won't be here anymore!"

"Blaine, listen to me. I promise you that is not the case at all. I swear. I love you, not him. I don't feel anything for him!"

"Not now you don't but….oh, what's the point?"

"Blaine, please! Solomon is not trying to split us up. He's been here twice so I can help him with a presentation. That's no different to me going to Kate's house, or you meeting professor Scarbo for coffee. These people are work friends. Just because he's gay doesn't mean you need to feel threatened by him."

"It's not because he's gay! I didn't feel threatened by Jason, did I? I feel threatened because he likes you."

"But that's absurd."

"You're blind if you can't see it, Kurt."

"And you're an idiot if you're letting it affect you like this," Kurt snaps back.

"Thanks," Blaine says sadly, and he lies down again and tries to go back to sleep.

He doesn't succeed until it's almost dawn, and neither does Kurt. Both know the other is awake, but they don't do anything about it, opting instead to lie in an awkward and uncomfortable silence, until they eventually drift off.

As a result, they sleep through the alarm, and when Kurt wakes it is past eight thirty.

"Shit! Shit! For fucks sake, Blaine. Blaine!"

"Huh? What?"

"We're late! Well, I am. You can probably show up to class when you feel like it. Why didn't you wake me?" he snaps. He quickly pulls on yesterday's pants, because there's no time to pick anything else, and pulls out the first sweater from his closet.

"I was asleep too," a groggy and disoriented Blaine says, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

"Great, just fucking great. I have a meeting with three fucking designers at nine!" Kurt rages.

"So get a cab."

"Get a cab," he mutters angrily, searching for some kind of scarf or brooch or something to brighten up the dark sweater. "Get a cab. I'll have to get a fucking cab, won't I? I'll still be late, though, because of you and your dumb..."

He stops himself, just.

"My what, Kurt? Go on, say it. My dumb nightmare."

"No, Blaine, I didn't..."

"Forget it," Blaine snaps, storming out of bed and pulling open the bedroom door. "Just get to work. I'll show up to my crappy college class when I feel like it."

When Kurt finishes dressing, he listens at the bathroom door. The shower is going, and he really has no time to wait for Blaine to emerge, so he gathers his things, and then stops in their tiny hallway. There on the table, next to his keys, is a travel mug filled with coffee. That one tiny gesture, makes Kurt want to call in sick to work and spend the entire day making up to Blaine for his anger, but he can't. Not today. Vowing to text him later, he leaves the apartment.

* * *

><p>"Knock knock."<p>

Kurt looks up from his work hopefully, even though he knows it's not Blaine, and he gives Solomon a weak smile.

"Hey there."

"Hi." Solomon closes the door behind him, and, in a rather bold move for an intern, sits on the edge of Kurt's desk. "I haven't seen you all day."

"Day from hell."

"Oh? I'm sorry to hear that. Anything I can do?"

"No," Kurt sighs, leaning back in his chair. "Not really. Just one of those days, you know?"

"Oh no. How come?"

"Ugh. Well." Kurt leans forward, folding his arms on his desk as he looks up at him. "I barely slept. Blaine had….well, he was awake, so I was up dealing with him."

Solomon gives a little laugh. "You make it sound like you have a kid."

"Please don't call him that," Kurt says with a frown. "This last year, Blaine and I have been through some really tough times so...well, we're both still dealing with that, that's all."

"I'm sorry," Solomon says meekly. "Please carry on."

"Well, then I woke up late, and I was late for my meeting. Two out of the three designers were fine with it, but the one we really wanted, was the one who walked out at nine fifteen, declaring it a waste of time. I got here at nine twenty," he says, with a rueful laugh.

"Well that sucks, but at least you can work with the other two, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I just….ugh. My hair won't go right either," he admits. "And its pissing me off. Just, everything is, you know?"

"I'd say your hair looks pretty perfect, actually," Solomon says quietly, and reaching out, he daringly brushes a stray lock of hair from Kurt's forehead.

Kurt pulls back quickly, as if burned. "Don't touch my hair!" he snaps angrily.

"Woah! Sorry!" Solomon holds his hands up, surprised at the strong reaction. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's... I'm sorry. It's just... Blaine is the only one who does that."

"If you don't like it, tell him to stop."

Kurt frowns, and scoots his chair back just a little bit. "If I didn't then I would. I love him touching my hair."

"Oh."

"It's just I have... I have a bit of a thing with physical affection. I'm not really into it, unless it's from a person I love and trust."

"You don't trust me?"

"I don't know you well enough."

"Okay." Solomon gives a shrug and stands, backing slowly out of the office. "I'm just gonna...go, because this is all kinds of awkward and...yeah."

"No, no, stay," Kurt says with a sigh. "Really, I'm sorry, I'm just tired, and stressed. I yelled at Blaine this morning, and I've been meaning to call him ever since, only now I'm trying and his phone is turned off."

"That's what's stressing you out?"

"Yeah. I hate fighting with him, and it seems like we're doing it more and more lately. You know what?" he says, looking at the clock, and seeing it is after four. "I think I'm gonna take off and finish this up at home. That way I'll be there when he gets back."

"Come for a drink first," Solomon offers. "That'll de-stress you a little, and then you'll feel better about talking to him."

"I don't know..."

"Oh come on, Kurt. When was the last time you went for a drink after work, huh?"

"Never."

"Never? Sheesh!" Solomon laughs, and hands Kurt his jacket. "It's every man's right to let loose a little after a stressful day, my friend! Come on. Just the one."

* * *

><p>One drink turns into four beers at a sports bar of all places, and light headed and a little fuzzy, Kurt has forgotten all about calling Blaine, or heading home, until he realizes it's after seven thirty, and he tells Solomon they need to go.<p>

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Solomon asks, once they're on the street. "We should get take out and go back to your place."

"Oh, I don't know if that's really a good idea," Kurt says, shaking his head.

"Why not?"

"Well it's just...Blaine. He thinks you don't like him."

"What? That's crazy. Blaine's a really sweet boy." He glances across at Kurt as they walk, watching his reaction. "I like him. I really hope you manage to make it, if that's what you want."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, it's just you said yourself you're arguing all the time, and you have no common ground."

"I didn't mean it like that though," Kurt says, frustrated at the way his words have been twisted. "I mean, we share a family for a start."

"Oh what, so you're just with him so your dad doesn't get mad?"

"Don't put words in my mouth," Kurt warns. "That's not what I mean and you know it. Blaine and I have a lot of things in common. We like the same TV shows, movies...we both love theatre. I meant we have very different personalities to each other, that's all."

"Yeah, and I hope you can both work on that."

"He makes me incredibly happy," Kurt says firmly. "I love that we're so different. It works for us."

"Does it though? You seem to be prepared to settle down with a guy whom you're terrified of upsetting. You won't even bring a friend home for a meal because you don't want to make him mad. That doesn't sound like a relationship that makes you incredibly happy, it sounds like a jealous little boy who's throwing his toys out of the stroller because you have a new friend."

"I'm not scared of hurting him, I don't _want_ to hurt him," Kurt snaps. He's more than a little annoyed with all that Solomon is implying, and he's determined to prove him wrong. "There's a big difference. And I'll be friends with whoever I want, Blaine knows that."

"Does he? Prove it then," Solomon challenges. "Let's get takeout and go back to your apartment."

* * *

><p>Kurt has lost track of time completely. He's not had any more beer, despite Solomon trying to convince him, but the takeout has been eaten, and still Blaine isn't home, and neither has Solomon left. He stupidly left his phone on the counter in the kitchen, and had tried to get it, only Solomon had told him he was too protective over Blaine, and to stop worrying, and how was he ever going to grow up if Kurt kept on acting like his dad?<p>

He didn't feel like he could get it after that.

Solomon talks and talks and talks. He also asks questions, endlessly, and Kurt gives very brief answers to all of them, suddenly not really wanting this guy to get to know him at all. Where did he grow up? Who was his first boyfriend? Why did he move to New York? Does he like it here? Favorite movie? Album? Singer? Book? On and on and on.

"So how did you and Blaine meet?"

"Uh...he was my dad's neighbor. Then his mom moved, and Blaine decided to move in with my dad instead."

"How come?"

"Just because. He wanted to finish school in Lima."

"He was still in High School?"

"He was sixteen when we met," Kurt says, smiling as he thinks of it. "So young, but so beautiful. Gosh, when I think back now, I was so completely smitten with him from the moment we met. We got together properly when he'd just turned eighteen. We celebrated three years last week."

"Cute," Solomon says, with a tight smile. "So you're his first boyfriend, then?"

"I am," Kurt says proudly.

"Don't you worry he'll want to explore when he's older?"

Kurt laughs, and in all honesty, he doesn't know what on earth possesses him to lean forward and rest a hand on Solomon's arm, and he certainly doesn't know why he answers with, "You haven't seen me in bed," but he does.

He says it, and maybe it's the arrogant Kurt of old rearing his ugly head once more, but he feels the need to get it out there, to make it known that he's better than anyone or anything. "He'll never stray. Why would he?"

"Well that's true," Solomon agrees. "Hell, I wouldn't if I had you."

"Don't," Kurt says, snatching his hand away.

"Oh come on, Kurt, why do you think I asked you out? You must know I find you attractive. I mean, you're with Blaine, of course, so I'd never….but we can be friends, right?"

Kurt is prevented from answering, by the sound of the key in the lock, and Blaine walks into the room. He's clearly been crying, but he carries take out and flowers in his hand, and Kurt's heart twists in pain, as his face falls when he sees Solomon on the couch.

"Did you get my text?"

"What text?" Kurt asks.

"The one that said I was on my way with takeout."

"Oh, Blaine, we've already eaten," Solomon says, and Blaine's eyes flick to the empty Chinese cartons.

"So I see. Nevermind."

"I'm sorry," Kurt says, feeling suddenly close to tears. "My phone is in the kitchen."

Blaine gives a nod, then disappears to eat his takeout alone.

In the kitchen, he really doesn't feel like eating at all, but he knows he has to bide his time, and he really doesn't want to go back in the living room with them sitting there. It takes fifteen minutes, but mercifully Solomon comes into the kitchen, and announces he's going home.

"Good," Blaine says, looking him square in the eye. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

"Look, Blaine, I know you don't like me..."

"No, I don't like the way you look at my fiancé."

"Blaine!" Kurt cries.

"Don't you trust Kurt? You're supposed to be marrying him."

"This is not about me trusting Kurt."

"You know, Blaine, Kurt and I are just friends," Solomon says, but there's an underlying tone to his voice that Blaine doesn't care for at all. "If you're having problems in your relationship then fine, but don't pin it on me."

Blaine scrapes his chair back and stands, squaring up to Solomon, even though he's a good six inches shorter. "I'm giving you ten seconds to get out of my apartment, or I will not be responsible for my actions," he snarls.

Solomon backs away, his hands held up. "Cool it there little buddy. Kurt, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"I'll see you out."

Blaine doesn't sit back down, he just remains standing, his anger building, as he thinks about Kurt, no doubt apologizing for Blaine's actions, and telling Solomon he'll fill him in tomorrow.

"What the hell was that?" Kurt storms back in, slamming the front door.

"I don't want him in my apartment ever again."

"Excuse me?"

Blaine should, by now, recognize the low warning tone to Kurt's voice, but he's too wound up and angry to give it any thought. "You heard."

"Whose apartment?"

"Ours."

"Can I remind you who pays the rent?"

"Dad pays a third of it," Blaine snipes.

Kurt lounges against the counter, his arms folded. "And how much do you contribute, Blaine? Huh?"

"Oh that is not fair! I'm studying and working to build our future together! You were the one who told me to do that! Suddenly that's not okay? Fine. I'll drop out and get a job at fucking Walmart."

"Don't curse!"

"Fuck off, Kurt! And fuck you. I have every right to say he's not allowed here again, whether I pay rent or not."

"You have no right to tell me who I can or can't be friends with!"

"I do when it's affecting our relationship! Can't you see what he's doing? It's exactly what I said would happen. He's putting little nagging doubts in your mind. He's damn smart about it though, all along insisting that he's being nothing more than a friend to you. Then he'll pounce. We'll break up, and he'll be the one who helps you through it all, and then bam, you're in love with him and I'm forgotten."

"You really think that little of me? You don't trust me at all, do you?"

"I trust you, I don't trust him."

"You trust me?" Kurt screams. "Really? Then why are you acting like this?"

"Because I don't like what he's doing to us, Kurt!"

"No, you don't like me having a friend."

"Bullshit! I'm more than happy that you have friends, but not him. For fuck's SAKE, Kurt! How can you not see what he's up to?"

Kurt takes a menacing step towards Blaine, prodding him in the chest. "You listen to me, Blaine, and you listen good. You have no hold over me at all. I will be friends with whoever I want, and you will not dictate who comes into this apartment. This is your problem to get over, not mine, and not Solomon's. I defended you earlier when he said you were like a kid, but now, I'm not so sure I should have bothered. Call me when you've decided to grow up."

He storms out, grabs his keys, and pulls on his boots.

"You're leaving? Where are you going? Not to him, please tell me not to him."

Kurt turns back, giving him a cold look. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

And he is gone.


	32. Chapter 32

Kurt doesn't come home that night. Santana sends a text to Blaine after midnight, telling him that he's there, and will sleep over. He hasn't gone to Solomon, but that doesn't give Blaine any relief at all. He hasn't come home, and that hurts deeply.

So deeply, in fact, that he doesn't go into school the next day, but sits at home instead, waiting for Kurt to return, but he doesn't.

By eleven, he calls him at work, something he never does, because he wouldn't want to land him in trouble.

"It's me."

"What do you want?"

"You didn't come home last night," Blaine says, stating the obvious. "Or this morning."

"I'm at work, Blaine, and I'm not in the best of moods. Unless you're calling to apologize for your unreasonable attempt to control my life, please leave me alone."

"Kurt, I'm sorry, but I don't think I was being unreasonable," Blaine starts, and Kurt blows.

"You don't think! You don't ever think! I don't tolerate people telling me what to do, Blaine! I never have and I never will. This is my life and I'll live it how I see fit."

"That's just the thing though, Kurt. It's your life, yes, but you've asked me to share it with you."

"Share, not take over!"

"How would you feel if I insisted on pursuing a friendship with a guy who liked me in that way? Answer me that."

"I'm not answering you shit!" Kurt yells, and cuts the line dead.

* * *

><p>Kurt contemplates not going home again, but he's now been wearing the same pants for three days, and he also knows that another night on Santana's couch will ruin his back. He trudges home, dragging his feet. He had avoided Solomon all day, by asking Kate if he could be sent to a shoot in Bryant Park. Though it was not usual to send an intern to assist with a shoot that had nothing to do with their department, she had agreed, sensing all was not well. Kurt had left the office before they returned.<p>

The truth is, he knows Blaine has a point about Solomon. Things had changed from when they had first met, and Kurt now felt deeply uncomfortable in his presence, and more than a little put out by the way he kept referring to Blaine as a boy, hinting that he didn't think they'd make it.

The trouble is, Kurt is nothing if not incredibly stubborn, and if Blaine had approached things in a more subtle way then maybe he would have listened. But telling Kurt that he wasn't allowed to do something was like a red cape to a bull and now they were stuck in this stalemate, which he knows Blaine hates as much as he does.

He's not sure how it's going to be resolved, and he senses things are going to get worse before they get better, but he is shocked to his very core when he enters the living room to find Blaine sitting there having coffee….with Jackson.

"Get him out," Kurt says through gritted teeth, looking directly at Blaine.

"Oh, hey Kurt," Blaine says with a bright smile. "Jackson and I were just catching up. Did you know he's studying at Tisch? Oh yeah, you did know that, didn't you? Because I remember how mad you got at the mention that he was in the same city."

"Get him out, Blaine, I mean it. Now."

Jackson shifts uncomfortably on the couch, his eyes darting between the two. "Um….what's going on here?"

"Leave," Kurt snaps, not even looking at him, but right at Blaine who has risen to his feet as if ready to take on his wrath. "I don't know why you're here, but you're not welcome, now go."

"Blaine invited me."

"I did," Blaine confirms, staring Kurt right in the eye. "I can be friends with who I want, right?"

"Wrong. Now get him out. You've seen me break one man's face, and I'll do it again, I swear."

"Me, or him?"

"Fuck you," Kurt spits. "I would never hit you, would I? You're being a dick, but I still love you."

"Then stop being unreasonable, and listen to me when I tell you how unhappy you seeing Solomon makes me."

"I was listening! You know me, Blaine," Kurt cries sadly. "You know I go off the deep end and get pissed when people try to order me around. You know what? I was coming home hoping to resolve this, and now you've invited this jerk into our home!"

"Am I in the middle of something here?" Jackson asks. "Is this some sort of game?"

"This is my fucking relationship, you moron, now stay the fuck out of it. Blaine and I are together and very happy."

"Yeah, seems like it."

"We are," Blaine says quietly. "I'm sorry, Jackson. I invited you here because I knew it would piss Kurt off, and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry to both of you."

"You..." Jackson starts, but Kurt and Blaine are still staring across the room at each other, and he shakes his head, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch. "I never thought you could be so callous," he chokes out, then runs from the apartment.

"Good." Satisfied, Kurt falls into the armchair. "Now can we talk?"

"No. I've gotta... I have to apologize. Shit."

He chases Jackson out onto the sidewalk, and grabs his wrist just before he can cross the street. "I'm sorry, that was really low of me. Truly, I'm so sorry for using you like that."

"You know what?" Jackson says sadly. "I knew you two were engaged, because Rachel told me. I knew, and yet I still didn't give up hope. You know what else? I deleted your number, took you off my Facebook, Instagram, all of it, because I couldn't do it, Blaine. I couldn't live my life properly because I just spent all my time stalking you online, or holding my phone in my hand trying to gather the courage to dial. When I got into school here, I knew I had to let go. Do you know how hard it's been, not to look you up? Rachel reminds me all the time that we only went out for a week, but it was so much more to me, Blaine. You have no idea how desperately I wanted you to love me."

He wipes at angry tears, as Blaine kicks at the sidewalk, embarrassed, and feeling like the world's biggest bastard.

"Every relationship I've had has ended, simply because they're not you. I have been hopelessly in love with you since I was sixteen years old. The ironic thing is, you've loved Kurt since the same age too, only you've been lucky enough to know what it feels like to be loved in return. My heart soared when you called, Blaine. I mean, I was dismayed when it became clear you were still with Kurt, because I'll never think he's right for you, but I was so hopeful that this meant you had been thinking of me. Now I realize you have been, but for all the wrong reasons. You used me to get to him, and right now I hate you for it. I hate you, and yet I still love you."

"I am really, so sorry," Blaine says, and he reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, I used you, and I'm not proud at all. In fact, I kinda hate myself right now too."

"So that's it, I guess? You're gonna go back in there and make up with him, aren't you?"

"Yes." Blaine nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. "You're right. I've loved him since I was sixteen. He will always have my heart. I'm sorry, Jackson, and I hope you find happiness one day, but I'm Kurt's fiancé, and I will love him for the rest of my days."

"Okay." Jackson looks up at the sky, blinking back tears. "Just...do me a favor, please. Delete my number? I won't be able to survive if you play me for a fool again."

Blaine gives another small nod. "Sure."

"Have a nice life, Blaine."

He turns and walks away, and Blaine trails back inside to confront Kurt, who has been staring out the window watching the whole thing.

"That looked intense."

"It wasn't pleasant."

"I can imagine." Kurt doesn't turn back from the window, but keeps watching the traffic and the busy rush of commuters starting up, while Blaine stands against the opposite wall, staring at his back. "If I was in his situation I'd have punched you."

"I'd deserve nothing less."

"We're a mess, aren't we?"

He is taken by surprise when strong arms wrap around him from behind and hold him close. "No we're not. We're angry at each other, and we need to stop. This has not been our finest hour, for either of us, but we're not a mess, Kurt. I love you so much, and I'm pretty sure you still love me just as much. We'll work past this."

Kurt turns so he's facing him and wraps his arms around his neck, hugging him hard. "I do love you," he whispers. "So much. Just... .wait there."

"What?"

"Please. This conversation can't move on until I've done something," he says, and shuts himself away in the bedroom. He's back in ten minutes to find Blaine standing in the exact same spot, staring down at the roads below. "Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

He wraps his arms around him once more, happy when Blaine hugs him around his waist. "Solomon is moving departments starting Monday. I'm going to work from home tomorrow so I don't have to see him. Kate was very gracious about it all, she said she had figured he was after me. She also said, and I quote, that no one was getting in the way of her favorite ship."

Blaine gives a tearful, squeaky laugh, dropping his head onto Kurt's shoulder.

"Listen a minute," Kurt says, gently lifting his chin. "I'm sorry. You're right, and I knew you were right days ago. Solomon does like me in that way, and it's been making me increasingly uncomfortable. Yesterday I was a dick. I went for a few drinks with him after work, and he basically challenged me, hinting that I was scared of upsetting you. You know me, Blaine. I can't back down. I wanted to prove to him that I was my own person, so that's why I invited him back. It was torture. I was just waiting for you to come home. And then you did, and everything happened, and….well, I know, at thirty two, that I should be able to listen to you, and respect what was a perfectly reasonable request, but I didn't, and I can only apologize for that. I just...you got my back up, and that's my fault, not yours. For a moment, I reverted back to how I used to be, and I think that I've been doing that a lot recently, snapping at you, and you've just taken it. This time you couldn't, and I understand that."

"It was too important to me," Blaine tells him. "To sit by and say nothing. I can take you yelling at me because we're late, or because I haven't paid the florist. I just think 'oh it's Kurt,' roll my eyes, and move on, but you and me? I can't let stuff like that slide, because I don't want us to fall apart."

"I'm glad. I'm glad it means so much."

"It means everything. Us, our relationship, our life together."

"It does to me too. I just feel like lately...I don't know. Like it's just passing us by, you know? Like I'll be standing at the altar in one hundred and eleven days, and wondering where all the time went."

"You know how many days it is to our wedding?"

"Of course I do," Kurt says in surprise. "Don't you?"

"Well I do now."

"Blaine, I don't want us to bury ourselves in work and planning this thing. I'd marry you at city hall if I had to."

"You would not."

"Well, okay, no, I wouldn't, but do you get what I'm trying to say?"

"I do, and you're right. We've been so busy and everything around us is so rushed...you know what? I can't even remember the last time we just watched a movie together, or had brunch on a weekend. That's both our faults, I guess, and we've got to make that right."

"We haven't had sex in forever, either."

"Well yes, Kurt, but I was trying not to point that out."

"Oh."

"Here's what we're gonna do. We're going to make time, every day, for at least an hour together, where we do nothing but just be together. No nagging, no working while we chat, no doing chores, no wedding planning, just us. Whether it's having a long breakfast, dinner without the TV on..."

"Taking a bath?"

"Taking a bath together….we're gonna make the time, because no one is going to keep this relationship going for us. I know mom's biggest regret is that she just let time with dad slip by, and I don't want that to be us. I don't like to harbor regrets anyway, but especially not when it comes to you."

Kurt gently cups his cheek, leaning in to kiss him lightly. "You feel bad about Jackson, don't you?"

"Yeah. That was...that was really low of me, Kurt. I'm not that person."

"Exactly, you're not, so you need to put it down to a momentary slip and move on."

"I didn't realize the depth of his feelings for me. I mean, I still had his number, because I'd never even thought about it, you know? Like it had never occurred to me that I hadn't deleted it. I'd never really thought about him, apart from when he finished school and I heard he was coming to NYC. To hear him stand there and tell me the pain he's been in for the last four years, because of me...wow. Well, I already felt bad, but that just made me feel so much worse."

"So you know what you have to take from this? How lucky we are that our love for each other is reciprocated." He stops when Blaine laughs. "What?"

"That's what he said too."

"Oh fuck."

"He didn't say that though. He's not as foul mouthed as you."

"Hmm. You love my mouth."

"I do."

Their kiss is deep, filled with a longing to reconnect on this most basic of levels, after their days of fighting. Kurt walks backward to the couch, pulling Blaine with him and down into his lap, and all the while they just keep kissing. "I love you," he murmurs against Blaine's lips, and then he kisses under his jaw. His fingers make light work of his bow tie, undoing the top button of his shirt, for his lips to find their way to the hollow of his throat, and briefly, his tongue. "I love you so much, my beautiful Blaine."

"I'm not a bad person, am I?"

Kurt looks up, giving a warm smile, and, he hopes, a reassuring kiss to his lips. "No, you're not. You're wonderful. You are loving, and kind, and sweet….but you're human, my darling, and we all make mistakes. Look how many I made with you. I know you feel bad, but really, he will get over this. He'll meet someone who is just right for him. He might think, right now, that it's never gonna happen, but it will. He's a good enough kid, just intensely annoying."

"And Solomon?"

"He's more annoying," Kurt decides. "More predatory, that's for sure. At least Jackson has respected our relationship enough to stay away from you all these years."

"I don't think respect plays a part, more like sheer terror," Blaine says with a smile. "You're quite intimidating, Kurt."

"Good. You know what though? When you squared up to Solomon yesterday, I was actually scared you were going to hit him."

"I was about to," Blaine admits. "But I didn't want to break my hand."

Laughing, Kurt squeezes him tight, content to just stay there, but it seems Blaine has other ideas. "Let's go out. We could go to the movies? Or bowling?"

"Not bowling," Kurt whines. "I can't. Scared of the shoes. Other people's..."

"Feet, yeah, I know," Blaine laughs. "Okay. What do you want to do then?"

"Hmm. Well, can we stay here and take that bath?" Kurt asks hopefully.

"At least let me buy you dinner."

"Sushi?"

"Fine by me."

Blaine gets to his feet, pulling Kurt up and into a long kiss. "I love you, tiger. And I'm sorry I pulled that stunt with Jackson. It was really awful of me. Just so you know? This was never about me not trusting you. I have complete faith in you, I just didn't trust Solomon's motives, and I was at a loss as to how to communicate that to you. I went about it all the wrong way though, and I'm really sorry."

Kurt nods, playing with the buttons on his shirt. "Thank you. And I'm sorry too, for everything I said. Your contribution to this house, to our relationship, is entirely equal. Please don't ever think otherwise."

"I do wish I could pay for more stuff though."

"You're saving so we can have a child, Blaine! That's...that's massive. If it makes you feel better, we can pool all our money to pay rent, utilities, food and then save what we have left over, but I just always get the feeling you want to save for this yourself."

"I really do, yeah."

"So let's leave things the way they are. But you can buy me dinner," he adds, as an afterthought, and Blaine laughs and starts to fasten his bow tie.

"Come on then, I guess I'd better go show my fiancé off to the world."

* * *

><p>The atmosphere is lightened between them, and during dinner they deliberately keep things fun, talking about which wedding guests to invite, and plotting the worst possible seating plans just to annoy everyone, before deciding they really couldn't go through with it.<p>

They take their bath, but both are weary from the emotions of the day and too tired to contemplate doing anything other than soaking in the water before cuddling close in bed. Kurt is supposed to work from home the next day, but being Kurt, he feels like he must have the final say, so he takes himself into Marie Claire, and tracks down Solomon in the promotions department.

"So Blaine got his own way," Solomon says, when he notices Kurt standing there. "That's what babies do, isn't it? Throw a tantrum and then watch as everyone runs around them."

"I wouldn't know," Kurt says lightly. "But I hope to find out one day when Blaine and I have kids of our own."

"Why, Kurt? Why him? He's whiny, he's small, he's weak..."

"Oh don't you..." he starts, and then is physically restrained by the three women listening in on the conversation. "Listen here, you ignorant bastard," he says, losing his cool completely. "You will never come between me and my fiancé, got it? Now keep your mouth shut and lie low in this department for the remainder of your time here, or I'll have you fired."

"What happened to you?" Solomon asks, shaking his head. "You know, I was at a bar last night, and I was telling some guy about you. He recognized the name, only, it couldn't be the same Kurt, I don't think, because the one he was describing was totally wild."

Kurt stands tall, looking down on Solomon where he lounges arrogantly against a desk. "Oh that was me," he says with a nod. "Without a doubt. Then I fell in love, and suddenly I didn't need to chase other guys to feel good about myself. Blaine gives me all I'll ever need, and so much more besides, because he loves me. Blaine will always win, Solomon," he adds darkly. "So don't even try to compete."

* * *

><p>"Your boo's in your office," Kate tells him, as soon as he's out of the elevator.<p>

"Oh please, he's not my boo."

"Your puppy dog then."

Kurt stops dead and whirls around. "How do you know about that?"

"Oh my god!" Kate cries, elated. "That's what you call him?"

"No it is not," he snaps, but the speed at which he walks away from her, and the red cheeks, tells her otherwise.

"That is so cute!" she calls across the office. "What does he call you?"

"Go away!" comes the reply.

"Don't forget to shut the blinds, Kurt!"

"We're not doing that!" he calls back, then closes the door and leans against it. "Women. Ugh. Hello." Blaine is sitting formally in the visitors chair, but his face brightens when Kurt gives him a smile.

"I did tell her I wasn't here for that."

"Yeah, she's all pleased with herself because she apparently stood behind Solomon in the Starbucks line this morning, and had a very loud conversation with Sara about how awesome you are."

"Me?"

"She thinks you're adorable," Kurt says, and he leans down, kissing his lips lightly. "And you are. It's nice to see you."

"You were supposed to be at home."

"I know, but I had to see a man about a dog. Puppy."

"You didn't need to fight back," Blaine says with a frown. "Things were fine as they were."

"Whatever. So..."

"So I came by because I love you. Nothing more and nothing less."

"Stand up."

Blaine does so, not even noticing the open blinds. He only notices Kurt's arms draping over his shoulders, pulling him close. "Take me home," he whispers. "Undress me, take me to bed. I want to spend the rest of the day making love with you."

"It's not even one thirty," Blaine stutters out weakly.

"I know."


End file.
